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I had a dream that my husband's best friend kissed me, and now I need help clearing my head

Tagged as: Big Questions, Crushes, Friends, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 June 2018) 2 Answers - (Newest, 13 June 2018)
A female Canada age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Dear Cupid,

I've been married for three years and just found out I have a child on the way. I have a very loving and kind husband who bends over backwards for me. I love him dearly. Now, DH has a best friend that I've met only a handful of times. The first time I met him was a couple of years ago when he came from US for visit. He was funny and jovial, well put together. We had a great time exploring the city. I would have to guess that people in this part of Canada are a bit stuck-uppity for the most part (at least in my experience) and he had a very interesting American charm that I can't Quite describe. Anyway, he came and left, but that was one of the most fun days I've had, ever. So he comes and goes, and recently my husband and I traveled to US to visit him this time. (Best friend married recently, but did so quietly because the first time he was engaged he ran away from the altar and broke the bride's heart, hopping the plane and going honeymoon solo, so was embarrassed and married quietly second time around. But wife is on extended trip for undefined amount of time.) Anyway, this time around when I met him something snapped in my brain. I couldnt tell you what. That same night I had terrible dream that he started to kiss me while DH slept nearby. Woke up feeling horrible.

Nothing unusual or bad happened and when we left he kissed me on the cheek and I started getting the shakes internally, like I cant breathe and start crying without reason in car to the surprise of dear husband, who patiently assumed it was hormones. So we fly home and I've been in dire straights ever since. Can't seem to sleep. Now don't get me wrong. I have no intention of doing anything. He's married. I'm married. I'm going to have a baby. I love my husband. They are best friends, since little kids. I'm sure he thinks of me like a sister, his best buddy's lady. This is more about internal conflict and how to make these bad thoughts go away permanently. This is important because best friend has some idea of immigrating to Canada, and staying with us for a bit (As well as his wife if we ever meet her) because they are tired of US and possibly coestablishing business with DH (no idea how these things work :() Sorry for long winded post, just please help me to clear my head and get back to my life, and put this person back in the brother category where he belongs. Thank you

View related questions: best friend, engaged, my ex

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A female reader, Anonymous 123 Italy +, writes (13 June 2018):

Anonymous 123 agony auntJust because you're married doesn't mean you can't have a crush on someone! Don't be so hard on yourself and stop blaming yourself. You know nothing is going to come out of this, you know you're not looking for an affair and neither is he.

Hey if I were you then I would have had a good laugh about this and told my husband that I think your friend's cute! Take the mystery out of it. De-sexualize it. You'll see you'll get over it really soon. And congratulations on the baby! Hope you're taking care of yourself and having all the calcium and vitamins! Eat healthy, be happy and all the best!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2018):

Personally I think darling husbands best friend is not what he seems to be and subconsciously your inner mind is waking up to the fact that his friendliness and charm is nothing more than a veneer.

Call me cynical but thats how it looks to me.

The reasons are clearance in your dream:

1) You love hubby and you are looking forward to a future.

Then you say he's planning on gate crashing your life.

2)He is super charismatic but your subconscious is warning you he cant be trusted.

The dream made it clear that you think this guy has no respect for you or your husband and that he is prepared to take advantage behind your husbands back.

Being pregnant tends to mean that intruders are unwelcome.

Hence he becomes an ingratiated intruder.

Talk to hubby about this warning dream and see if he is equally concerned about the planned move.

Or see a psychic.

I think husband might not want him annexed to your life as much as you dont want it.

The last thing you need right now is an overgrown couch surfer.

Remember the saying that guests and fish tend to smell after 3 days.

You need peacefulness in order to bring a child into the world, not daily intrusion.

Also in the back of your mind you are wondering why his first wife disappeared.

Cancel the plan to put him up and co-partner the business because your life is your own.

Charm soon wears thin when reality hits!

Your subconscious warns you that your husband is blind to his friends modas operandi which is probably why the friendship works.

He presumably thinks his friend can do no wrong.

But you have your doubts.

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