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Why his sudden change in behaviour?

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 May 2018) 3 Answers - (Newest, 14 May 2018)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I met a guy through mutual friends age took my number . We had an amazing first long conversation on call followed by a couple of video calls sessions . There were no romantic talks but we were planning to meet up. I agree he is busy but he used to call me all the time or at bedtime . We met when he got back to the city . I came all the way to meet him because he didn’t have time and was really caught up. But he still spent a lot of time with me which I appreciate. It was a lovely meet up. He called me right after I left to tell me how amazing it was and left a couple of texts as well .

After he left the city , I msgd him to which he responded after 16 hours . No texts or calls . I decided not to overthink it and give it time . I left him some really nice msgs wishing him luck and asking where he has been all this while.. all I got in response was a cold “thanks” to my wishes . No calls . Can’t believe he is the same guy who used to call me all the time . I do see him online whenever I open the window to check if my msgs have been read (not stalking him)

Why sudden change in behaviour? I feel bad because I really liked this guy. What should I do now?

View related questions: stalking, text

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A female reader, femmenoir Australia +, writes (14 May 2018):

femmenoir agony auntYou cannot do anything and you do not need to do anything.

You both met, you both got on well, you both liked each other, however, this guy, he may not be ready for anything more.

He may not want to pursue anything with you or anybody at this moment in time.

This is of NO negative reflection on you, however, it's just HIS choice.

You'd be best to maintain total space from him right now and if he is truly interested in seeing you again, he WILL make contact and you WON'T have to lift a finger.

If you don't hear from him, or if his replies aren't what you were hoping/expecting, then you make a serious decision as to what you do next.

If you have to question this connection, then chances are, something isn't working with this connection.

If so, it's always best to let it go and to move on with your life.

Don't ever waste your life and time with the wrong people.

In the end, they win, you lose, because you've been expending your precious time and energy on them, when they weren't ever deserving of you.

There again, two people can be well meaning and can both have good intent, however, sometimes what YOU want, may not be what THEY want, so you learn to cut ties and let go.

There are plenty of fish in the sea, so worry not about this fish.

You're still young and all this means is that, your Mr Right, simply hasn't crossed paths with you yet.

All the best! :-)

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (14 May 2018):

Honeypie agony auntMaybe he did enjoy meeting you but maybe dating isn't a priority right now? Or maybe dating someone Long Distance is not what he wants.

Yes, it would be nice if he just TOLD you straight up, you are NOT what I'm looking for. Or whatever reason. But he hasn't.

Answering a message doesn't take long.

If he doesn't WANT to talk to you or text/message you, he won't.. but he might get bored down the road and hit you up for some ego-rub attention because he knows you are more interested than he is.

So personally? I'd look elsewhere for a possible date/guy.

Don't invest SO much emotion and feelings into someone you don't know who ISN'T invest anything back.

He was a miss, not a hit. Doesn't mean he wasn't nice, he just isn't for you.

So move on. Try again (with someone else).

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A female reader, Anonymous 123 Italy +, writes (13 May 2018):

Anonymous 123 agony auntDon't do anything. You've put your cards on the table and he's not interested. You're obviously not going to grovel and ask him why he isn't calling.

Look there's no such thing as too busy. If a guy likes you then he will do anything and I mean anything, to be with you.

Maybe this guy didn't get the vibe, maybe he's just not interested, maybe he's already seeing someone else. Whatever it is, at least he didn't string you along.

There are plenty of other guys out there OP. Don't feel bad because things didn't work out with this one. The right guy won't have to be begged or chased. You'll find someone great, trust me.

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