My gf complains that sex is too painful-how can I make it pleasurable for her?
Q. My girlfriend complains that sex is painful for her. I have tried several different positions and techniques but I cannot seem to find anything that works. She says that the length of my penis is the problem ( I measure in at 8 inches ). I have not ...
A. 14 December 2005: Aren't we a lucky boy? She's not got it bad either!!! I'm sure there's many of us reading this, men and women, sooo jealous of both of you!!
It can be painful for a woman even with a smallish penis, if she's not aroused enough. Try some lubrican... (read in full...)
He is too busy for us and I don't know what to do
Q. I had a problem with my boyfriend being to busy all the time. I talked to him about it and he thinks just because he does things for us that it should make up for us not doing anything together. I love him so much and i wish he could see that. When ...
A. 14 December 2005: He is obviously just doing what some men do and freeling that their role within the family is providing for the people he loves. This is not a bad thing, hey, at least he's doing something, but it takes more than money and belongings to make a ... (read in full...)
Married at 20 years old and I'm not happy...did I marry too young?
Q. hi. i got marrried 8 months ago at the age of 20. now i can't help but wonder if i made a mistake. i know that my husband loves me and i love him, but not in the same way. we recently moved and i began an affaire with someone we both worked with. ...
A. 14 December 2005: We all make decisions in life, some turn out ok and others seem to be a complete mistake and we can't believe we ever dreamt of doing what we did. However, life is too short to be unhappy and I think you need to follow your heart.
People always g... (read in full...)
My husband looks at porn, then blames the fact that I work in the evenings...
Q. My husband has been looking at nude pictures of women posing on motorcycles. When I confronted him, he denied it first, then said it was my fault because I work evenings. When I do get home, he's already asleep. What should I do about his ...
A. 11 November 2005: This is perfectly natural for men of all ages, married and single. They just like naked women - that's a fact of life! It's not unusual for a man who gets regular sex to look at porn either.
But the fact that he said it's because you're not real... (read in full...)
No orgasm with my boyfriend, even after four years! Suggestions?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for four years and he has still yet to be able to get me off. I've heard putting pillows under your butt works, but I've had no luck. Can someone give me some tips please?...
A. 11 November 2005: Sorry girl, but I have no answer for you. I have a question though: do you masturbate and can you make yourself come when doing this? I've been masturbating for a long time and I find that nobody can get me off because I'm just too good at it now! ... (read in full...)
I just can't believe that my wonderful girlfriend was a stripper all those years ago. Sometimes it bothers me...
Q. I love my girlfriend totally. We've been dating for 2 years and talk marriage often. She's 35 and I'm 37, so we're not kids. We are both divorced. She used to be a stripper when she was 19-22. She supported her slacker ex and paid her way through ...
A. 11 November 2005: This is definitely normal for a guy, I think most boyfriends would feel this way about loved ones when they think of them showing their bodies to other men for money.
But I think you need to chill out. This is the 21st century and there is nothi... (read in full...)
Does the one who had the first crush automatically have "dating rights"?
Q. I'm seventeen, and I'm co-stage-managing a play with a great guy. I met him at the start of the play, and I currently have a huge crush on him. However, a close friend is the lead, and she's also got a crush on him. She's constantly flirting with ...
A. 11 November 2005: You have to do what feels right and not let her childishness get in your way. I know it must be hard, her trying to stop you doing something that you really want to do so you just have to ignore her.
If she's a real friend, she'll be happy fo... (read in full...)
Should I risk going out with the guy with the reputation?
Q. Im a 17 year old girl who hasn't really had a boyfriend before and there's this guy at my school who has a reputation for having been out with a LOT of girls. I'm definately attracted to him but many girls are. I get the impression that he wants to...
A. 9 November 2005: Lads like this, in my experience don't grow up for a long time, they're not even close to growing up at 17. Once they get a taste for sleeping around, it takes something or someone very special to change them. You must be careful because, as you ... (read in full...)
I had sex with a guy I don't even love. Then his girlfriend blackmailed me to my boyfriend...
Q. I dont know what to do. Me and my boyfriend were only dating for about 3 months but we were so in love. It was like love at first sight when we first met. Then he told me he wouldn't be able to come here anymore until winter was over (he lives in ...
A. 9 November 2005: Oh dear, you are in a pickle, aren't you? I can see that you really love this guy and it sometimes takes something like this to make us realise just how much people mean to us. Whether he takes you back or not, you've certainly learnt a lesson of ... (read in full...)
Can't understand why I'm accused of coming on too strongly with girls...
Q. Cupid, I've never really had a problem meeting girls and gaining their interest. My problem is not getting to into them, after meeting them. I want to talk with them so I can learn about them. This goes both with the girls I've met in person a...
A. 31 October 2005: I hate to admit it but I am the same. I will always be more interested in a guy that plays hard to get and doesn't put in too much effort. Us girls are so complicated when it comes to things like that, we just like doing some chasing every now and ... (read in full...)
What - if anything - should I tell my boyfriend about his ex?
Q. My boyfiend split up with his ex when she left the country for her career, about 4 years ago. Him and I have now been together for over two and a half years. All is going brilliantly. Recently I found out that she was paralysed in a horrible ...
A. 23 October 2005: I think he has a right to know. This is someone he cares about and he may want to be there for her at the awful time. How would you feel if you didn't know someone you cared about was hurt and he'd kept it from you? Not very nice, I'm sure.
I kno... (read in full...)
I want to stop being so controlling and jealous with my boyfriend. How do I do it?
Q. I am a very controlling individual. I cant help but call my boyfriend because I am worried that he is messing around. I am also very jealous and I want his world to revolve around me 24/7. I hate being this way, and I want to change. Is there any ...
A. 23 October 2005: We all feel like this sometimes, wanting their undivided attention and wanting to feel like we're their world. But it can become a problem if this is all the time. You'll drive him away by doing this, not bring him closer which is what you want.
... (read in full...)
He's too big for me! Or maybe I'm too small for him..?
Q. I have recently started seeing the most amazing guy; however he has a pretty wide penis. It's a lot bigger than I'm used to. We tried to have sex the other night it didn't really fit properly and it was painful. I did not have this problem with my ...
A. 23 October 2005: You don't have a small vagina. A baby can fit it's way out of there one day so I think a willy will be ok! Just relax, the muscles clench when you're nervous or anxious. Also, make sure you're 'in the mood' enough before you start trying to have ... (read in full...)
I don't feel like I have anything about me that would attract women. And my penis is bent like a banana!
Q. I'm a 28 year old male living in London. I would love to be in a relationship but I don't have any confidence at all. I'm going bold, losing my looks, and the big thing is that my penis is the shape of a banana (it's bending to one side)..yes my ...
A. 23 October 2005: Problems? Trust me, there's worse things that could happren, you know?! You're only 28, get out there and meet some new people, enjoy yourself. I'm sure you're not losing your looks as badly as you think, they don't go overnight you know!
You j... (read in full...)
My guy in the Army is 17 and I'm 14. We want to meet up!
Q. My friend introduced me to this gorgeous lad a couple of weeks back and ever since we haven't stopped texting each other or been of the phone. The problem is he's in the army and I will hardly see him. We both agree that it shouldn't be anything...
A. 23 October 2005: This guy is too old for you and you should not be getting a hotel with him at your age. I understand you really like him and stuff but find someone your own age. He's probably had a lot more experience than you and you've got to ask yourself why he ... (read in full...)
He's 25 and I'm 15, but it's not about sex..!
Q. I'm 15 and I'm seeing a 25 year that lives an hour an a half away. Everyone thinks that our relationship is wrong and that he is using me for sex but he hasn't even asked once, but no-one will believe me. I love him very much and he loves me also. ...
A. 22 October 2005: You can't blame people for thinking this is they don't know him. But the age gap is large considering you're only 15 and I think you do need to get someone your own age. You need to get experience of guys of your age, he's a man and has probably had ... (read in full...)
I'm addicted to my sex toys to the point where I've lost interest in men!
Q. Last year I brought my first sex toy from Ann Summmers and I enjoyed it so much that I now have a large collection of toys. However, I am now addicted to them and I use them at least three times a day. It has come to the point that I even use them ...
A. 22 October 2005: Although we all like the feeling of stuff like that, it does sound like this is getting a bit out of control. There is a time and place for everything and you need to get some help, you can't be doing it in the toilets!
I'm glad you've found so... (read in full...)
Been masturbating in a different style. Will this cause me problems later?
Q. Hello, I am 16 years old and still a virgin. I started masturbating in a different manner. I lie on a bed and rub my dick on the bed. I am afraid will I have problems in having sex?...
A. 22 October 2005: This won't cause any problems, I'm sure and if it gets you off, hey, that's fine! My ex-boyfriend used to do it sometimes, (he told me, thankfully he didn't show me!) and he really enjoyed it too. Masturbation is a special thing that many of us ... (read in full...)
I fantasise that my girlfriend is with a guy who's got more to play with than I have...
Q. I have a beautiful girlfriend I love to bits, but I keep getting strange sexual feelings that I don't think are normal. It happens when I masturbate and make love to her from behind. I keep thinking about another guy fucking her and her really e...
A. 22 October 2005: There's nothing wrong with fantasies, they're completely normal, however weird they may seem in the cold light of day. We often get carried away during sex, thinking thoughts we daren't think in normal day-to-day activities. But these aren't bad, ... (read in full...)
Since having the baby 7 years ago, I'm not interested in sex any more...
Q. Dear Cupid, after having a baby 7 years ago I have lost my feeling to have sex. I don't seem to want it anymore. I don't feel normal. Now me and my partner are arguing about it....
A. 22 October 2005: A lot of women go off sex at sometime in their life for a variety of reasons. You had your baby a while ago so it may or may not be connected but it's obviously getting to you so you need to get it sorted.
When I feel down, I don't want sex eith... (read in full...)
Met a new guy who gives me butterflies... but I don't want to break up with my boyfriend!
Q. I love my boyfriend dearly, and we have been together for a number of years. Recently, I met someone that I have become very attracted to and have been flirting with. I would never cheat on my boyfriend so I know nothing will happen between us but I...
A. 22 October 2005: I found myself in the same situation as you not so long ago. I had a boyfriend who I was very happy with, we'd been together for 2 years and I met someone else, Sam*. At first, it started with just flirting but soon, I couldn't control my feelings ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend just doesn't seem to have the time for me any more..!
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for 1 1/2 years spent pretty much every day together doing everything together. I made lots of money during that time and had lots of spare time. We've broken up before for maybe a week, but recently when I went back to ...
A. 22 October 2005: You definitely need to give her some space and find yourself. Start doing something new, meet some new people, broaden your horizons. You don't need to be sat there waiting for her call. I know you love her but you need to be able to survive without ... (read in full...)
Orgasm, yes. Orgasm during sex... well, No. Help!
Q. I am 26 year old with a 5 year old daughter. I have been having sex for approximately 12 years and have never climaxed while having sex. I can have a clitoral orgasm (only when I do it), but can not have an orgasm while haveing sex. My fiance ...
A. 22 October 2005: I have the same problem as you, I have never reached climax with anyone else. The thing is, I can do it so well to myself that no one else can do better! That may sound weird, but it's true. My boyfriend keeps begging me to show him how I do it but ... (read in full...)
My husband is away often, and when he's here, he just doesn't listen!
Q. Please help. I am a newly wed (7 months)and am so unhappy. I love my husband but seem like he does not hear me when I tell him the emotional void I feel. He travels a lot and when he is here...well, he's not. I end up nagging - and he ends up ...
A. 22 October 2005: I understand how upsetting this must be for you. We all dream about what our marriage is going to be like but the truth is, it doesn't usually end up the way we thought it would when we were acting it out with our Barbie dolls all those years ago.
... (read in full...)
I discovered my husband in bed... with my Dad!
Q. I am 24 years old and from Wigan, Greater Manchester in the United Kingdom. I came home from work yesterday to find my husband having sex with my father in our bedroom! Even worse, I heard it has been going on for a year now and I never knew! I...
A. 17 October 2005: This is very serious and you do need to tell your mum. This has been going on too long and she deserves to know. I don't really know what else to say, I can't imagine how you are feeling to be in this position! Good luck and be strong :)... (read in full...)
My partner doesn't like sex around the time of my period. It makes me feel like I'm unloved!
Q. My partner and I have different views about having sex just before a period or just after. This makes me very nervous as my period is very hard to keep track of and he makes me feel dirty and unloved because of this. Sometimes I am at my highest ...
A. 17 October 2005: Men are like this sometimes: little mardypants! They can be squeamish about things that are normal to us but you have to understand and respect that. I'm sure, if you were uncomfortable with something, he would not pressure you into it, would he?
... (read in full...)
Is he just shy, or am I coming on too strong?
Q. About a week ago, I hooked up with a guy I met. All we did was make out, and by the way things went, I'm pretty sure he is a virgin. This was the first time we met. The next night we watched a movie together, but all we did was talk. We were ...
A. 17 October 2005: He seems a really nice guy who just wants to give you space and not pressure you into anything you don't want to do. If only all guys were like that! I think, if you like him, you should persue this and see what happens. He'll open up as he feels ... (read in full...)
We drifted apart little by little, then we had one almighty fight!
Q. Hi, My partner and I have been together for 4 years. For the last year things have been hectic, new jobs, new house and the death of a very close family member on his side. We have both noticed that we have been growing apart and haven't been put...
A. 17 October 2005: You need to get together and talk before it's too late. There's nothing else you can do before you speak to each other properly and sort out what the other one wants and get across what you want.
Get somewhere private where you won't be disturbe... (read in full...)
I'd love to meet a man who appreciates all my good qualities, but it's always about sex...
Q. I'm So Confused!! I'm 26 and I've had a few serious relationships. I'm no stranger to dating. But I don't understand why most of the guys I'm interested in only seem to be interested in having sex. I would like to be appreciated for more than ju...
A. 17 October 2005: The thing about men is this; it's always about sex for them unless you make it about something else. If you meet a guy in a club and make it clear you want sex that night, that's what he'll want from you and nothing more. However, if you meet guys ... (read in full...)
He says nothing can happen between us, but I can't get him out of my mind!
Q. Dear Cupid, In the summer I became really close to my guy neighbor. We've know each other since elementary and our parents are very close friends. But one time it just happened that we made out, and then a month later we lost our virginity together...
A. 17 October 2005: I realise you feel a lot for this guy and he did take your virginity which makes us feel even more for them. I do think he was unfair stopping half way through, after taking your virginity. Your first time should be perfect and he should have ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is gorgeous, she makes me happy and we have so much in common. There's just that age gap...
Q. I have been seeing a girl from work for a few months now and there is a bit of an age difference, like I'm 31 and shes 18. At first I thought I was attracted to her just cause she's got a smokin' body,and that's good stuff since I've never had a gi...
A. 17 October 2005: You are not a bad guy, you're just a guy in love. This is totally normal and we can't choose who we fall for so just carry on with what makes you happy. Follow your heart in everything you do in life and you will bne rewarded with happiness and ... (read in full...)
In four years, my boyfriend hasn't kept a job for more than 3 months!
Q. I have been with my bf for 4 years. He has not kept a steady job during this period. Every job he gets lasts no longer than a week besides one exception which lasted 3 months. I am 22, he is 23 and we have lived together for 2 years, after the ...
A. 12 October 2005: This guy has got it made. He's got you at home to pay for everything so why would he bother getting a job and keeping it? Why work when you will bail him out anyway?
You need to get out and start a new life on your own. Maybe you'll meet someone ... (read in full...)
At 17, I think I've outgrown my boyfriend...
Q. I have a boyfriend of almost 2 years. I love him very much and would do almost anything for him. Lately we have been fighting a lot about the littlest things. The problem is I am 17 and he is 18 and compared to me he is really immature. I now feel...
A. 12 October 2005: We have all felt like this before: you're young and the guy you're with is gonna be the 'one' and you're going to be with him forever etc. etc. But this is not the case. There is so much out there, you can't tie yourself down yet. There's so many ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend seems to tell me everything... and I mean everything!
Q. When my boyfriend and I were first going out, he told me A LOT of personal stuff about himself like how he had an HIV test (results were NEGATIVE) and he had a stuttering problem sometimes and he had two things on his testicles that he was going to ...
A. 10 October 2005: Honesty is a great quality in anyone in our lives, especially partners so I don't think you've got anything to worry about. He obviously just feels close enough to you and cares about you and feels he can tell you anything and you won't mind. At ... (read in full...)
I don't like the way I come across to guys
Q. Dear Cupid, I find myself constantly attracted to a great number of guys at school - but find myself clamming up, or taking on an attitude with them that, when I reflect back on what I say, seems very pompous and conceited. I find myself repulsiv...
A. 10 October 2005: This problem has nothing to do with guys at all, this all stems down to the problems you have with yourself. You are constantly scared of interaction with others as you fear that they think the same critical things about you that you do about ... (read in full...)
Do I have to fondle my boyfriend, if I let him touch me intimately?
Q. If my bf (I hate to be so graphic) fingers me, would I have to touch him in return? Wouldn't he expect that if I were to let him touch me?...
A. 8 October 2005: Do whatever makes you feel comfortable and whatever you enjoy. If he likes to do this to you and you like it, that's fine but he shouldn't expect anything in return if you are not happy to do it.
He'll probably be thinking about you doing so... (read in full...)
First time sex with my boyfriend. Should we go to a hotel, or do it at home?
Q. I've been seeing my bf for some time and we both would like to have intercourse with each other for the first time (we are both over 20 and are going to be protected, of course) but should we rent a room in a hotel or have it at one of our houses? I ...
A. 8 October 2005: I know it's a big thing, the first time with someone new and someone you really care about and you want it to be special. Just be careful, thought, because sometimes, if you build it up to be too much, it can be a disappointment. We all know sex ... (read in full...)
I insisted my girlfriend tell me about her fantasies, but I didn't like what I heard!
Q. My girlfriend and I were having a frank discussion the other night, and I asked her if there was anyone besides me that she fantasized about having sex with. She didn't want to tell me, but I forced the issue because I felt like she was hiding ...
A. 5 October 2005: This is what often happens in relationships . . . you think you want to know something then, once you do, you realise that ignorance WAS bliss.
But everyone has fantasies and just because she's with you doesn't mean hers go away. Don't tell me ... (read in full...)
Is sex always this... messy?
Q. Me and my girlfriend had a very active sex life. We decided to change from using condoms to her going on the pill so there would be no delay when we were in the mood. Unfortunately it seems to have had the opposite effect. The main reason is f...
A. 5 October 2005: Me and my boyfriend use an old jumper (sick, I know, but it works!) Simply put it underneath her when you're going to cum and there you go, simply stick it in the wash when you're done and it's ready for next time. Tell her to put a panty-liner in ... (read in full...)
What is it that my girlfriend wants? If it's me, why does she have these hot and cold cycles?
Q. Dear Cupid: After spending the past 18 months of my life recovering from to deceit filled relationships. I have found someone who I love. However, I am wondering if her feelings for me have changed from when we first met. We had known ea...
A. 5 October 2005: I think she sounds just as confused as you are. If she won't talk to you about how she really feels, there's not much you can do, I'm afraid. I think you need to give her some space, say you need a short 'break' so you can both think about what you ... (read in full...)
I'm only 15, but it seems like I'm getting a reputation already!
Q. Hi I am only 15 years old, and I am worried about my reputation already! I lost my virginity in Feb of this year (I was 15) while in a relationship, but 2 weeks after we had sex, my boyfriend finished with me. Then in May I went on holiday,...
A. 28 September 2005: I went through this phase when I was your age but I don't believe it's because you like sex so much. I know now that I was looking for attention, affection and acceptance from men and I ended up getting used for sex and called names.
Now, ... (read in full...)
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