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Do I break it off with my current gf to pursue this new crush? What should I do?

Q.   I have had a crush on a girl for about 6 months. Last night we fooled around while drunk. The part that really gets to me is that after this she invites me to sleep in her bed with her. We cuddle, she plays with my hair, rubs my arm and we ...

A.   23 August 2006: I think you have to follow your heart. If you think the relationship you're in now is going nowhere because of your future plans, you need to give this new girl a go. You say you've fancied her for a long time so you can't let this chance pass. ... (read in full...)

Found some texts to another girl on his phone, is he cheating ?

Q.   i think my boyfriend is cheating on me because i found texts off another girl on his phone saying "hi babe sorry about last night i'll make it up to you love ya" but when i confronted them they said i have nothing to worry about they are good mates ...

A.   23 August 2006: Well firstly I would question what he told you he was doing the night in question. If he told you he was supposed to be seeing her or something like that, he probably isn't cheating. However, if he said something else, maybe he is trying to hide ... (read in full...)

Is it normal to orgasm and then not want any more sex ??

Q.   when me and my boyfriend have sex, after i orgasm i feel like i don't want to do it anymore and i feel like maybe i only like him for sex or something but then after he is done, i was attached to him again. I'm confused. Is this normal?...

A.   23 August 2006: This is normal, yes, as the orgasm is supposed to be the conclusion, so to speak. This will obviously come at the end for the man and sometimes for the women, but we can carry on as normal after we have cummed. However, once our bodies have been ... (read in full...)

Will I regret it if I go... further... with my boyfriend?

Q.   okay i have a question (obviously). my boyfriend and i love each other very much and i trust him deeply. lately we have been going further than we used to (physically speaking) and while in the moment i'm okay with things i am not sure if i should ...

A.   23 August 2006: I am English so don't know exactly what third base means but I'm guessing it's something just down from sex! Anyway, even if we're talking kissing or full having sex, the only time you should do anything at all is if you're truly and completely ... (read in full...)

I've moved on since my husband left. Now he tells me he misses me and his new relationship is "not easy"!

Q.   My husband left me 10 weeks ago. Now his girlfriend wants to meet to discuss what happened and how we all move forward. My husband moved in with her for 3 days and moved home. He is constantly telling me how much he misses me etc, and how his...

A.   23 August 2006: Your husband is messing you around and I don't even think he knows what he wants. He obviously has second thoughts about leaving you for her and still wants to keep you hanging. But you are moving on and you need to continue to move forward. ... (read in full...)

He drinks more now, how can I gat him to understand?

Q.   my boyfriend of 14 years has hardly ever come straight home after work he usually goes to the bar, he never even really communicated with me. he now drinks more and if it's possible talks less with me now. accusing me of having affairs. he stat...

A.   21 August 2006: You need to talk to this man seriously and think whether or not you are willing to continue this life with him. Personally, I would not stay with a guy who was more interested in getting smashed than coming home to his wife and children. You made ... (read in full...)

what's a 69?

Q.   dear cupid, im 15 and very naive can some one please tell me wat a 69er is??? thanks xxxx...

A.   21 August 2006: A 69er is where one of the people lays on top of the other but facing the other way. They then give oral sex to each other at the same time. They call it a 69 because of the shape it looks like with a head at each end and legs at the other. ... (read in full...)

I need lubricants and know how to apply

Q.   where can u get lubricants? and how do you apply?...

A.   21 August 2006: You can get lubricants from high street beauty shops, like Boots and Superdrug. Be careful to find one which is suitable for use with condoms, as Vaseline is not, as it is not water based. All the ones you find in these shops will be ok, but check ... (read in full...)

18 year old virgin but scared of having sex!

Q.   Hi, I want to have sex, as I'm an 18 year old virgin, but when it comes to having sex, I get dead nervious and try and think of anything to make me have more time! Cause I'm really scared of losing my virginity help me plz ppl!!! .... x x x ...

A.   20 August 2006: I think you should follow your instincts. If your body is telling you that this is not right, then it isn't right. Don't worry that you're 18 and should have done it by now, that's rubbish! You do it when it feels right for you and that obviously ... (read in full...)

Is it normal to get so wet?!

Q.   hello...i was just woundering if there is somthing wrong with me! I seem to get very wet down there! I find it really embarrsing when my BF fingers me or goes down on me...is this something to be concerned about or not...plz help me x ...

A.   20 August 2006: No, it's nothing to worry about, I'm sure. It makes me laugh when people ask this question. Exactly how many aroused womens vaginas have you felt lately?! If anything, this is a good thing. It lets your boyfriend know you're enjoying it and also... (read in full...)

I want a baby badly...but I'm too young. Do other girls experience this?

Q.   Ok well im 16 and have been getting some really weird feelings recently. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and I have started getting real serious urges for a baby. Its not just a fad thing I have always wanted one to devote my life to. My ...

A.   20 August 2006: They most definitely do. I think it is in many womens genes to want babies, because that's what we're here to do, I guess!!! I went through the phase on and off for years too around your age and I didn't even have a boyfriend. Basically, you've just ... (read in full...)

The guy I love might be free soon... and he's getting flirtatious!

Q.   I have been friends with this guy for about six months and we have grown close in a platonic way. I have loved him from the first time me we met but he had a girlfriend so I had settled into just being friends. Now he is contemplating breaking...

A.   20 August 2006: Firstly, although it may be hard, you must separate yourself from his splitting up with his girlfriend. If he looks back and thinks your biased advice made him split up with her and he later decides it was a bad idea, he will resent you. So give him ... (read in full...)

My inability to deal with issues is ruining my relationship. Help!

Q.   I would like some help please. Basically I have caused a serious amonut of damage to my relationship and have caused my boyfriend to distrust me because I lied to him about my past and my drug addiction. There has also been a few other issues that ...

A.   20 August 2006: I think maybe you should get some professional advice to find out why you find it so hard to express your feelings. Without doing this, it is very hard to ever overcome problems within your life and your life with your partner. Even if you never ... (read in full...)

How can I get past these feelings?

Q.   hi, i wrote in on the 11th about how my boyfriend wouldnt give me oral sex because he said i smelt different from his ex girlfriend. im still with him amd i do want to work it out but i still cant let it go. i feel sick when he comes near me and i ...

A.   18 August 2006: I think this guy has already done you enough damage and you need to get rid of him. He's not only knocked your confidence, he's pressuring you into something that you probably would have done, had he not said those awful things! Your instinct... (read in full...)

I had an affair now my marriage has changed and my daughter was there...

Q.   I was just beginning to get a normal happy life back and for some odd reason I wanted an affair one day. I had sex with another guy and destroyed my marriage. My husband does not know yet and it was only a week ago, but I can already tell my ...

A.   18 August 2006: You have to tell him that you cheated and allow him to make a proper decision. You admit the marriage is ruined so the only thing to do is get all this out in the open. Maybe, if you work in it together, you can get through this. If not, at least ... (read in full...)

Should I feel guilty that I have to tell my bf I want to go and see my family? I fear he will flip out!

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years and I am ment to be going back to my home country [Australia] for Christmas this year. The trip will be about 5 weeks in total and im not sure how my boyfriend will react when i tell him. I havent ...

A.   17 August 2006: No! You should most definitly not be feeling guilty. You have every right to see your family and he has no right to guilt you into staying here, when it sounds like some of your family need you. If there is no trust in this relationship when you... (read in full...)

My good friends are backing away from me because I don't look that cool. What should I do?

Q.   i have a bunch of really good friends at school..im 15 by the way. But recently we are not that close anymore and they dont really want to go anywhere with me..i think it is because they want me to look a bit "cooler" in public ..please help! ...

A.   17 August 2006: These people are not real friends if they want to be something else than what you are in order for them to like you. Real friends accept you for who you are and would never start being weird with you just because they wanted you to look different. ... (read in full...)

My new guy was perfect but I went back to my bad tempered ex!

Q.   i need help! im 19....right been with my current boyfriend 3 years hes 19,but we have split up a few times in the last 9 months! whilst we were apart i got with some1 new hes 22... he was evrythink my bf wasnt,everythink iv ever wished 4 infact! he ...

A.   16 August 2006: You have to make up your mind and don't be scared to go out of your comfort zone. Yeah, this guy you're with now is what you know and it can be hard to move away from this but I think you'd even admit yourself that the nicer guy is best for you. ... (read in full...)

How much of an age gap is too much ?

Q.   What are the age gaps between you and your partners? And at what stage do you think a age gap is too much? Thanks! x...

A.   15 August 2006: Me and my boyfriend have a 10 year age gap and we work fine. We are at different stages in our lives, he's in work and I'm still studying but we appreciate this and don't force each other into stuff. He wants kids and marriage but he knows he'll ... (read in full...)

Is 18 considered late to still be a virgin ?

Q.   I'm 18 never had a proper girlfriend and never had a proper kiss with any girl and obviously never had sex. I'm getting fed up of all this pressure to have sex (there was this thing on BBC Radio 1 about sex) and it just brought back all this pre...

A.   15 August 2006: Definitely not, sex is a very special thing and should be treated this way. Most people regret losing their virginity because they were so desperate to do so, they did it in a stupid way and it was all wrong. I don't think you really appreciate sex ... (read in full...)

How can I put my pride aside?

Q.   How do I Put my pride aside n have sex with a boy ive been spending alot of time with lately?. Im 18, hes 20. I'm horny but I dont want him 2 think i'm easy! He has alredy asked me 2 b his girlfriend but I sed i didnt wanna rush things. Wot Should I ...

A.   10 August 2006: There's no reason a girl can't have sexual desires just like a man, this is 2006! If you want to be satusfied, then you have a right to be, just like a man does when he goes out and has sex! This guy obviously likes you, as he asked you to be hi... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is very controlling and its getting worse!!!

Q.   This is kinda long; but i really need advice and help. i have a boyfriend and i've been with him for about a year and two months. He's always been so controlling and jealous since day one. But now i've noticed it has gotten worse. I am madly in lo...

A.   10 August 2006: I think you need to get rid of this controlling psycho and find someone who loves and trusts you and respects you enough to make your own decisions about where you go and what you do. Who is he to tell you who you can go out with? If you stand for ... (read in full...)

He stopped, looked at me and smiled. Does it mean what I hope it means?

Q.   There is this guy i kind know... and really like! I was out of town taking pictures at a rodeo event (approx. 3hrs from where i live) and lo and behold i see him across the street. My parents were with me but i was walking ahead of them. They sto...

A.   10 August 2006: Well, I guess you'll never know until you ask him! Maybe he was just being friendly, maybe he likes you too. But to find out, you're just going to have to bite the bullet and speak to him! Have a bit of a flirt but don't look too desperat... (read in full...)

How can I make my first time with my new boyfriend memorable

Q.   I'm about to have sex with my new boyfriend for the first time. Neither of us are virgins, but we are both quite nervous. Any tips how to make our first time memorable?...

A.   10 August 2006: I suggest that you don't put too much pressure on this night. Of course be excited and eager to make it amazing, but be careful not to become too nervous as this will only end in disaster or disappointment. So really, think of it in two ways: ca... (read in full...)

Six guys are 'in love' with me! How do I tell them all..I don't feel the same way?

Q.   When I'm first in a relationship I find many things that i have in common with the person and get really involved and when they say I love you I say it back (i usully feel i do) but after awhile i quit feeling that way and then i get annoyed or ...

A.   10 August 2006: I don't believe you really know what love is if you can be feeling the way you do about 6 men! Maybe this is lust or just attraction, or maybe even obsession? Whatever the reason, you need to calm down and stop leading these poor guys on! You must ... (read in full...)

Guys I date turn me on for awhile..then I get 'turned off' quickly! Is this normal?

Q.   is there something wrong with me? whenever i get involved with a guy he can turn me on like hell for a while but after a while what he does loses its affect and does little to nothing for me when it used to do loads. Is there something wrong with me ...

A.   10 August 2006: When you say 'turn on', I'm taking that to mean sexually, is that right? Id say that this is normal. Everything is interesting and exciting at first, isn't it? And if it doesn't materialise into anything more, then it slowly fizzles out and, to feed ... (read in full...)

My best mate and boyfriend slept together, please help!

Q.   dear cupid, i just found out my best mate has shagged my bf. and i dunno what to do? should i try and make a peace with her? or should i never talk to her again? or should i knock her brains out? im more unset with her because she knew...

A.   8 August 2006: I cna understand your pain, this must be awful for you. Losing your best mate and your boyfriend at the same time? What idiots they are! Well, you can look at it 2 ways really. Do you want to forgive them and move on with her as a friend? Or, do you ... (read in full...)

Did my ex lie about the reason for our break up? Can I tell a new guy I'm interested without ruining things?

Q.   Hey, My ex broke up with me one month ago because he had to go away for the summer. He told me that it was unfair to me and that we should just break up because he didn't think that he could be in a relationship when he was so far away. My first qu...

A.   8 August 2006: Well, people can say that for 2 reasons: the first is that they want to be single when they go somewhere else to see if they can find a better offer. Secondly, they may say it because they genuinely care about you and don't want you sitting here ... (read in full...)

I feel Trapped, he treats me like a skivy not his wife, but dont feel I can leave because of my son!

Q.   My partner wants a mother not a lover.i'm a very loving and caring person.15 years we have been together,i have done everything for him,and i have had nothing in return.2 years back he got into the gym,and i was left alone at home all the time,i was ...

A.   8 August 2006: This man will never change. Because he's realised you're the best he's ever gonna get, he's come crawling back but his view of women hasn't changed. He still only wants a slave, not a wife and you deserve more than that. I honestly don't blame yo... (read in full...)

Hes quite happy playing whilst watching webcam clips, but wont show me any attention!

Q.   My fiancee keeps making excuses as to why he want sleep with me, but I then catch him out playing with himself whilst watching webcam clips of naked women on the net I have tried telling him that it hurts that he is doing that but want sleep with me ...

A.   8 August 2006: I think what this man is doing is very disrespectful to you and you need to sort this out. I'm not saying that watching the porn is abnormal, lots of men do this, even when they have a very full sex life. But he's ignoring you and making you feel ... (read in full...)

Giving up sex, any alternatives?

Q.   Recently my gf and i have decided that we will not engage in any sexual activities for an undetermined amount of time. I personally am having trouble with this decision because i enjoy our sex life and want it to continue, but have accepted i can ...

A.   7 August 2006: I'd just like to ask, out of pure nosiness, why you have both decided to give up sex? I'm not saying it's a bad thing, I'm sure it's right it your circumstances and it's a very good thing to do if you both need to work things out or get your heads ... (read in full...)

Feeling sorry about the difficult break up

Q.   hey ppl, i really need help, my boyfriend broke up with me cause a really close relative 2 him died,he died while i was goin to meet him, he was his lil boy, he fell into a paddling pool and drowned only a baby 21 months old, so i stayed with him ...

A.   7 August 2006: I can understand how hurt you are by this, it was an awful thing to do to you after you supported him so much when he needed you. I think you need to move on now and find someone who loves and respects you as much as you do them. Get out there, m... (read in full...)

How do I get his attention!?!

Q.   urgent: there is this boy i have known for quite a while, we went out for a week so didnt really do anything when we broke up. he rings me occasionally. how can i get his attention in a text message for him to text me back or when talking to him? ...

A.   7 August 2006: Just text him and ask him if he wants to meet up and do something sometime. If he says yes, you know he's interested and if he says now, don't bother with him anymore, find someone more worthwhile! I know it can be hard when you just don't kn... (read in full...)

I'm 18, he's 25. We've known each other three years, and I'm thinking of giving him a try. Will it work?

Q.   Hi, I just had a quick question. I met this guy when I was 15 and he was 22 (don't worry, nothing happened). We've stayed friends for three years. Now I'm 18 and he's 25. I've had a crush on him since I first met him, and now I can finally a...

A.   5 August 2006: I got with my boyfriend a year ago and ours was a similar age gap. I was 18 and he was 27. We are in different stages in life but that doesn't have to be a bad thing. I'm the young one that makes us go out and get drunk and he's the older one who ... (read in full...)

My girl is just sooooo annoying!

Q.   I have been with my girlfriend for over 8 months now and after about 5 months ish i have found her more annoying than when i first met her. Just little things like how she speaks and how she acts around her mum etc make me cringe and annoy me. ...

A.   5 August 2006: I think you need to think whether you really want to be with this girl before you do anything. If you do, things can be worked on and you can put the effort in but if your feelings for her have died, the best thing to do for both of you is to get ... (read in full...)

A question on using people...

Q.   Is it possible to use someone you dont feel anything at all for? i know that i couldnt but could some people?... ...

A.   5 August 2006: Of course it is possible to use someone. When you have no feelings for the, that's when the using usually occurs. Whether it's for money, sex or just securtiy, everyone can use and be used as well. ... (read in full...)

Can you forgive cheating behaviour?

Q.   I am just curious as to whether or not people in general think that a cheating partner can be forgiven. If so, do you think that they are most likely going to do it again? Just wondering about what people thought of this kind of stuff. Thanks!...

A.   5 August 2006: I don't think someone who can cheat loves, respects or even really cares about the person they are supposedly with. I would never forgive a cheat because they will do it again if they get away with it once. You're worth more than that and can get ... (read in full...)

His photography hobby meant he would take nude photos of woman, I didnt like this, am I in the wrong ?

Q.   Hi My boyfriend has recently taken up photography as a hobby. He is mostly interested in controversial photography and thus wants to focus on erotic photography/nudes because of the artistic value. I have an issue with him taking pictures ...

A.   3 August 2006: I think you have the right to voice your opinions on the matter and I don't think any woman would be happy about her man taking naked pictures of women. I mean, loads of women get mad at their men for looking at naked women in magazines, never mind ... (read in full...)

What about his history? Can I trust him?

Q.   I have just started to see this guy for a week and I have found out that he used to sleep with anything that walked and ended up with a sexual disease, so by then his wife had found out and chucked him out! I'm not sure if I can trust him! What do I ...

A.   3 August 2006: I'd say to you, run a mile. Not only is he a complete slut, he also did all this while he was married?! I have no sympathy for women who get involved with men like this and wonder why they get hurt. Really, honey, get out while you still can. ... (read in full...)

How can I help her get over her insecurity?

Q.   My girlfriend is incredibly insecure and puts herself down a lot. She thinks I'm better than her and that she is lucky too get someone like me. She is so desperate too keep me and constantly says things like 'if u ever finished with me i'd feel used ...

A.   3 August 2006: It's sad when people feel they're not good enough to be happy. She obviously has some experience in her past that has made her feel this way and she needs to address this before she can have a successful, secure and happy relationship. Maybe try ... (read in full...)

Do I go after him or do I move on?

Q.   well i like this guy at school but he likes my other friend and she is so much more popular then me. We always hang out with him and call him but he never notices me. I have told my friend that i like him and she has said cool over and over again. ...

A.   3 August 2006: I think your friend is being very controlling and childish. She doesn't want this guy but she also won't let you have him! It's like a childs game! If you want to try and get this guy to notice you, you can, you don't need her permission. If she's a ... (read in full...)

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