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He's too big for me! Or maybe I'm too small for him..?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 October 2005) 14 Answers - (Newest, 20 February 2011)
A female , anonymous writes:

I have recently started seeing the most amazing guy; however he has a pretty wide penis. It's a lot bigger than I'm used to. We tried to have sex the other night it didn't really fit properly and it was painful. I did not have this problem with my previous boyfriend our sex life was fine. Is there anything I can do in order to make things better? I never thought I had a small vagina until now.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2011):

my last boyfriend, before I married my husband was large and it took us a few encounters before we could get all of him in me. It hurt for a while but we worked though it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2011):

Ok... I know this is an old question, but I had to chip in something. I totally agree with the last poster. There is something like too big. I'm totally into this wonderful man, and he's scarily endowed... I'm talking about 10 inches in length and 6 inches girth. I've never liked it big... average is fine for me. He was worried at first, but we love each other and had to work it out. Toys helped!

We've got loads of lube, tons of foreplay... and for his size, to satisfy both of us... a gigi and a we-vibe.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2010):

I had to chime in on this one... I was very much in love with my boyfriend Joseph and we had a very active and wonderful sex life but eventually we broke up due to hundreds of miles put between us. Needless to say I started dating again and one day I became serious with another man,... he was overly endowed. 8 1/2 long and about the size of my fist. It was REALLY painful. He was to long AND to wide. I read on the internet that I would get used to it blah blahh blahh, but I never really did. he was always bottoming me out and ripping me apart. Months went by before I realized this was just NOT going to work. Any way... to make a long story short ill skip a few months when well you guessed it Joseph moved out by me. Now here comes the part that's kind of hard to talk about...We had sex again and now I seam to open up way to far and he has trouble feeling me inside. I made a horrible mistake. Girls if it looks to big and he's hurting you STOP! So far as I can tell there is NO WAY back to the way it was with Joesph when the sex was wonderful. We have tried everything we could think of aside from surgery. I see all over the internet people telling each other how big of a penis some guys have and how great a big one is but its a bunch of BS. Pick a guy to love that is compatible with you physically and you will be happy forever. To big can damage you permanently. I even had a good time with guys that were really small,.. but to big? Never again.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2010):

Lots of lube and foreplay.

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A male reader, olderthandirt United States +, writes (21 July 2010):

olderthandirt agony auntOh my I wish I had his "problem" My wife was used to very large boyfriends until she met me. Then there was this period of dissapointment but we got through it by findind out that oral sex in our case was way more satisfying to her and to me. Experiment...A grat hand job is way better than painful sex.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2007):

Hi, I had a similar problem with my boyfriend when we first met but rest assured you'll be OK in time. It all just takes a little getting used to. A good partner makes all the difference. Our problem was not so much that Im small (which I am) but that he's really HUGE!. The main thing for me is learning to relax and let go. We use foreplay for awhile to help me relax and get my pussy to open up. I find that the more oral sex I get, the more I relax. His licking me to orgasm makes me much looser after I cum. Also, the sensation of his dick in my throat seems to effect my pussy in the best way. The deeper I take him down my throat the more I relax and open up too. Its been over a year now and I'm loving every inch of it. I've even learned to take it up the ass but for that we REALLY go slow. Still its a wonderful feeling to take him every way I can. I'm so in love and glad I met him. He's helped me every step of the way by being so kind and patient.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2007):

this is funny reading all these responses - i had sex with a guy for the first time yesterday and could not believe i was too small for him - he is huge - that had never happened before - i even bled for a short while and amazingly enough today i started my period. thanks to everyone who posted encouraging solutions - i love sex and these suggestions sound way better than just clenching my teeth and bearing it like a brave girl - it will help him to knowing i am actually enjoying it and not hurting

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2005):

either way, it doesnt' sound fun. talk to him? maybe there's other ways to pleasure each other. try more foreplay: i know for a fact that i stretch out more when i get enough foreplay, and it doesnt hurt and my guy fits a lot better. other than that... not much you can do.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2005):

I was a bit tight when I first started to see my boyfriend, he is quite big. I had only had 2 other partners for a few months each time before him. When I did start sleeping with my boyfriend it was very painful for us both, but plenty of lube and taking it slow really helped, we were at like normal afer a few weeks!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2005):

After the third time your vagina will fit itself to the penis of your currnet mate. Don't woory

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A reader, pops +, writes (24 October 2005):

The stress of having a new sex partners probably made you tighten up. Spend more time getting to know your new bf, and play with him. Laugh with him as you are engaging in foreplay before having intercourse. Do relaxation exercises, such as a long stretch, where you tighten all your muscles consciously, and hold your breathe for five to ten seconds, then relax, let out the air, and go limp. That will also relax your PC muscles if you remembered to tighten them when you went into the stretch. Once you are relaxed and loose, you should have no problem with the size of his cock.

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A female reader, not again +, writes (24 October 2005):

Hi! I also have had this "problem". My first boyfriend had a very big penis. (infact, I have never had one like it since!!) Recently we got back together for a bit, and weirdly enough it was more painful than when we first went out!! I even had some slight tearing. I was in the mood and all, but I think the main problem was that he had no idea how i was feeling (in terms of there being any pain or anything to worry about) so he was just going at it like normal. I think if I was to be in that situation again then the two things that I would do would be to use lubrication and also to experiment with different positions. Doggy style and chick on top was fine, it was more the missionary that hurt I think? Cant quite remember. Anyway, I hope it all works out for you. Oh, and of course... relax!! I know as much as you are relaxed and enjoying yourself, there can be a little trepidation when you know something that big (and posibly painful) is coming at you!! Catch 22. So yeah, relax, lube and positions and you should have no problems. good luck!!

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A female reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx United Kingdom +, writes (23 October 2005):

xxxsoulsistaxxx agony auntYou don't have a small vagina. A baby can fit it's way out of there one day so I think a willy will be ok! Just relax, the muscles clench when you're nervous or anxious. Also, make sure you're 'in the mood' enough before you start trying to have sex, the lubrication will help it fit in better.

I'm sure this will work out, things can be weird when you first get intimate with someone new. Don't let it bother you and jump stright back in there! And think yourself lucky, you've got half the girls reading this jealous wishing they could say their guys' thing was so huge!! Haha, good luck.

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A male reader, pope +, writes (23 October 2005):

Lift youre knees up to the air and close them together he puts his penis in and its dusnt go in to far so keep doin that untill u widen

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