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Do I go after him or do I move on?

Q.   well i like this guy at school but he likes my other friend and she is so much more popular then me. We always hang out with him and call him but he never notices me. I have told my friend that i like him and she has said cool over and over again. ...

A.   3 August 2006: I think your friend is being very controlling and childish. She doesn't want this guy but she also won't let you have him! It's like a childs game! If you want to try and get this guy to notice you, you can, you don't need her permission. If she's a ... (read in full...)

Another relationship with a guy at work? Good idea or bad?

Q.   I am in a dilemma, I have been single for over a year after seeing someone whom I met at work. We were together over 3 years. We were always professional at work even through it was common knowledge that we were a couple. Since moving sections ...

A.   3 August 2006: I think that you should go for it! There's no reason why two people that work in the same place can't be together, most people meet their life partners at work! Just keep things professional at work and save the relationship stuff until you get home ... (read in full...)

Ah, who should I date? A 25-year old "man" or an 18-year old "boy"?

Q.   Ah, who should I date? I am 18 years old and very very good friends with a 25 year old guy. In fact, we've been friends since I was 15. Nothing inappropriate ever happened because of our (illegal!) age difference, but I've had feelings for him...

A.   2 August 2006: I think you should follow your heart. If it's the 25 year old guy that you want to be with, no one has the right to tell you you can't do that. You're 18 years old now, and a big girl so you can make your own decisions. Many girls find lads their ... (read in full...)

Since my boyfriend yells and treats me badly, I'm attracted to his friend!

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend since I was 14 and I'm not 18. We have a baby together but just lately he has been treating me horrible, always shouting at me and telling me what to do. He has got this friend who is always nice to me and always m...

A.   2 August 2006: Well I always say, if you don't look after your girl, someone else will and obviously his friend is doing just that. But I wouldn't advise you to make a move. If you want to leave your partner, do that, but getting involved with one of his friends ... (read in full...)

I've caught him cheating, thrown him out, and I'm currently pregnant

Q.   Hi Ive been with my boyfreind for 8 yerasnow and we have a 6yr old little boy, a month ago i found he had sent a picture of his penis to someone with a caption saying u will find out later i found this after he never came home until 5am one morning ...

A.   2 August 2006: I think you need to keep this man in your life for your son only! Don't take him back because he has already betrayed you in the worst way possible and lied about it too. He will only continue to hurt you this way. This wasn't only was it a drunken ... (read in full...)

What do I do about my ex? What does she want?

Q.   My ex and I broke up in December. I moved about 6 hours away. I returned about 2 months ago and asked her if we could work it out and she said she was happy being single. I left her alone about it. We have been hanging out a lot lately. We go ...

A.   2 August 2006: It seems like this girl can't decide what she wants. She seems to want to be with you but something is holding her back. Give her some time, see if she comes around. Maybe she will make the first move and ask you to be her boyfriend again if things ... (read in full...)

My partners ex wife calls in to cook dinner for her boys every night, but they are 21 and 24!!

Q.   I have been seeing my partner for almost two years now. He has been divorced for nearly five and he lives with his two sons. The ex wife lives down the street with the chap she left my partner for and calls at my partners house five nights a week to ...

A.   2 August 2006: This does seem a rather peculiar arrangement but this woman is obviously feeling guilty that the marriage failed and wants the boys to have a good life, even though they come from divorced parents. She seems to be mothering the boys so she doesn't ... (read in full...)

I couldn't get it up...Whats wrong?

Q.   Hey im going to keep this short as i find it embarasing... I was out with my girlfriend last night, and we decided to have sex (were both 19) Im still a virgin, but shes not. Though at the time i could not get it up! My penis would not become...

A.   30 July 2006: All these factors could have had something to do with it. My boyfriend and I have no chance of having sex when he's had a drink and, even if he does manage to get an erection, he'll lose it half was through!! Of course, nervousness could have pla... (read in full...)

Was I right to forgive him so easily ? I cant now get the image of his cheating out of my head!

Q.   Please help. My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years, and have had our ups and downs like most couples do......... Lately a lot of things have come out into the open as he has had a tendency to bottle things up and try to handle them ...

A.   30 July 2006: I really admire people like you in some ways and in others, I want to shake you! You seem to believe he is truly sorry and say you have forgiven him. If you're sure the relationship can be repaired after this and that's what you want then go ahead ... (read in full...)

Period's different after sex. What does it mean?

Q.   My boyfriend and I had sex a week and a day ago, we used Durex Extra Safe (thicker and with spermicide so I've heard), we both checked throughout to see that it stayed on, and after, he took it off well away from me. I started my period today (i...

A.   30 July 2006: Periods can be different every single time until they become fully settled. Some womens never settle down! The start of your period can sometimes be a bit browner and gloopy (ewww!) at first, this is nothing to worry about. Until they're settled, ... (read in full...)

He's too tired to see me; does that mean we're not dating any more?

Q.   Okay, so I'm dating my neighbor, which was a big mistake but hey, it was his idea. Anyways everything was fine when we first start dating but for the last week he’s been to tired and doesn’t even want to see me. (Remember he does work 10 hours in ...

A.   27 July 2006: I don't envy his job, that's for sure!!! I know that must be a very tiring day but everyone should try to make time for the one they love. Even if he just popped round for a cuddle for ten minutes before he collapses into bed, that would be okay! ... (read in full...)

Feeling stressed and depressed, and now having to compete with the memory of my BF's exes!

Q.   Hello, lately, I have been feeling really depressed about everything in my life. I am stressed out right now about work and school, and also my boyfriend adds to that stress. Since we have been dating about six months ago, his constant talk of exes ...

A.   27 July 2006: You need to get rid of this guy . . . and fast! He's dragging you down and nobody should be able to make you feel that bad! I'm sure you're a fantastic girl with so much to offer and, because he's your first boyfriend, you're allowing him to treat ... (read in full...)

My vibrator's too loud and the family can hear me masturbating!

Q.   Hiya For the past few months I've been using by vibrating back massager as a vibrator, however it is very loud, and I like to use it just before I go to sleep as I sleep so much easier. All of my family can hear it in the room, and I try my best to ...

A.   27 July 2006: Firstly, this is all completely natural and you shouldn't be embaressed about it, although it definitely seems like you're not!!! Experimenting with our bodies is what makes us develop and have healthy sex lives later on in life when we meet ... (read in full...)

Is alot of Body hair normal ? And does it stop growing ?

Q.   i am a 15 yr old boy and i would like to know is it normal to have a lot of body hair, meaning chest, stomach, back legs and bottacks, and i would also like to know when does the body hair stop growing????? plzz help me as im worried...

A.   27 July 2006: Some men are just hairier than others, I'm afraid! If you're a a dark person, your hair tends to be thicker and more obvious but trust me, it will stop growing, you won't turn into a gorilla! Some men would kill for a hairy body, as some women just ... (read in full...)

We took all the right precautions but im still worried I could be pregnant!!

Q.   This Saturday, I had sex for the first time (It's Thursday now over here). My boyfriend and I are both virgins, and we used the Durex Extra Safe condoms which, as far as I know have spermicide included. We took extra care to make sure the condom ...

A.   27 July 2006: It's highly unlikely you can be pregnant if the condom was used properly. Obviously nothing is 100% when we're talking contraception but, trust me, you're not pregnant. You were very sensible to be so careful. However, I do think this worrying... (read in full...)

Am I paranoid for thinking this means he cheated ?

Q.   Hello My b/f and i dont see each other every night..every few days..so when we do sleep together--the first time is kind of fast if you know what i mean and then the 2nd time is usually longer..last night the first time was longer than usual and w...

A.   27 July 2006: I think us girls do tend to think too much about thingd and often read too much into something that could be completely innocent. There are other factors that could have something to do with his change in performance, for example, his mood or energy ... (read in full...)

He's changed since Basic Training and now it's either about sex or arguing!

Q.   I started with my boyfriend about 9 months ago and after 3 months he went into the Army (I knew this from the start). We've always been really close and really honest with each other and we said we'd always say if something was wrong. During h...

A.   24 July 2006: Let me get this straight: he misses what he used to be like, getting arrested, taking drugs and sleeping around? Honey, if this guy still hasn't grown up from those days, you need to get out of there! My boyfriend has had a colourful past but he'd ... (read in full...)

What STDs can be screened via blood test only?

Q.   I know AIDS is one of them but what can you get tested for just by blood tests? because at one place i am only getting done what ever they can do by blood tests and the other place whatever i didn't get done....

A.   24 July 2006: Aids and HIV can be done via a blood test, all the others need an internal examination. Swabs are taken and sent off to be tested but most places will tell you the results on the same day. HIV/Aids tests have to be sent off though. Good luck!... (read in full...)

Is he happy at home ? If he loved her surely he wouldnt behave this way ?

Q.   ok i know this is wrong,i've this guy he's 9 years younger than me.he's caring loving and i have never been traeted thsi way before so its kind of strange.The thing is i'm single,he's not married but lives with his partner of 10 years,he has 2 small ...

A.   24 July 2006: It seems that he does not care for this woman he lives with as much as he tells her he does. Maybe he loves her in his own strange way but I'd certainly want more love than that from a man. Maybe he's staying for the children? A lot of men do this, ... (read in full...)

Hes giving out mixed signals, does it mean that he does like me ?

Q.   Well theres this guy i have liked for about 4 months now he knows i like him and in the past said he has fancied me too. I asked him out but he said no not at the moment i want to meet up more. I keep trying to make arrangements to meet but he doesn...

A.   24 July 2006: I think this guy is messing you around. He doesn't know what he wants either, so how are you supposed to know?! Young guys sometimes do this and my theory is: they want the best of both worlds. They want a girl they can fall back on if all else ... (read in full...)

Should I try or relationship or fix the friendship ?

Q.   Im a 17 year old girl and one of my best guy friends for about 2 years told me he has feeling for me about 2 months ago. I tryed to go on with our friendship but when he stopped calling and started acting different i finally told him that i liked ...

A.   24 July 2006: I think you need to focus on the friendship. It's hard when you're friends with someone of the opposite sex sometimes, because often, people think their feelings are sexual ones when, in fact, it's just a really close friendship. Boys do this more ... (read in full...)

How do we move on to sex?

Q.   After kissing what's the best way to smoothly move onto sex?...

A.   23 July 2006: Just go for it! If you're sure it's what you both want, just start letting your hands wander a bit and it will all just start to fall into place. It doesn't have to be fast, sometimes getting to the sex is better than the actual thing! Take your ... (read in full...)

Once I saw my ex-boyfriend again, I knew I was still in love with him!

Q.   I was with this guy for almost a year. Well he broke up with me for some really dumb reason. Now i's 6 months later and I have a boyfriend who I care about a lot and I'm friends with his new girlfriend, because she is really nice and everything. But ...

A.   23 July 2006: I think you need closure on this subject and only you will know when you have this. He's moved on and, you said yourself he ended it for a silly reason so he ain't worth your time! I understand this must be hard for you but just stay away from him ... (read in full...)

Is it true that this could have made me pregnant?

Q.   question..my bf and i had sex for the first time a week ago.we did use a condom but only after he had been rubbing himself against my clit.then i made him put a condom on straight away and we then had full sex.only now i've been told that i could ...

A.   23 July 2006: You should never let a boy put his thing near your thing without a condom on. However, it is unlikely that you are pregnant unless he put his penis inside you without a condom on. Just get a test and check to make sure, but I'm sure you're not, ... (read in full...)

Im 16, my bf told me he's got Herpes, can I get myself checked out without telling my mum ?

Q.   Yesterday when my boyfriend was drunk he told me he had herpes. I wasn't sure if he was joking or not, but the more i think about it the more i worry. My genital area has been sore and very ichy recenty and some of the skin is peeling. I had ...

A.   18 July 2006: Hi there, I kind of know what you're going through. My boyfriend has genital herpes too and it freaks me out sometimes. If you haven't had sex with him, the virus can be passed if it is on his hand and he has touched you down there. Get checked out ... (read in full...)

I lost my viginity to the wrong person, now I feel used!

Q.   Lost my virginity to the wrong guy! Hi i lost my virginity and im regretting it big time, i wanted to be like kinda special and be in a true deep relationship but i ended up loosing it to a guy who ive been out with b4, hes going out with someone...

A.   17 July 2006: So many people have been in your position. In fact, most girls regret the first time they have sex as, deep down, most of us want the first time to be something special. Guys aren't really the same and just want to lose it a lot of the time (not all ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend's family talk about everything!

Q.   Subject: A difference between a couple... Over the course of my relationship I have heard many strange things from my girlfriend which have left me feeling a bit uncomftable...Such as: She knows about her brothers sex life.. Her mum tal...

A.   16 July 2006: Well, as everyone who answers this will say, every family is different and every loving parents only want the best for their children. Some parents think that being open about sex from the young age with their children means the children will have a ... (read in full...)

Sexual experiences wanted...or rather info on them!

Q.   Im concidering having sex. Is there any girls out there who can give me as much information on the pill as possible from experience?...

A.   16 July 2006: I have just come off the pill after being on it for 2 1/2 years. I found the pill to be a very effective form of contraception, you just have to leave it out so you always remember to take it. I have always been in a relationship whilst on the pill ... (read in full...)

My partner doesnt excite me anymore, but this new guy does, should I pursue it ?

Q.   Help me, I have been with my partner 4 1/2 years now, the problem is he doesn't excite me in any way or show encouragement when I try to better myself. A while ago I tried to give up smoking, he is a non-smoker so I thought he would want to help me ...

A.   14 July 2006: Something similar happened to me when I met my now boyfriend. I already had a relationship with my ex and was happy until I met my boyfriend now. When I saw how much fun I could have with someone, when I saw how happy he made me, I realised how ... (read in full...)

I feel like I'm almost forcing my boyfriend to have sex!

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for almost five years. We have been living together for over a year and I love him very much. BUT he is almost totally disinterested in sex. I want to do it all the time and it's got to the point now where I feel like ...

A.   14 July 2006: If you've already tried everything you can to spice things up (videos, toys, lingerie etc.) then you need to speak to him about this. I had the same problem with my boyfriend. He's quite a bit older than me and his sex drive is a lot lower than ... (read in full...)

My last guy didn't view porno. Should I look for a new one who also abstains?

Q.   I just broke up with a boyfriend that absolutely felt like as long as he had me, he didn't need to look at any kind of porn or check out other girls. This made sense to me because I never checked out other guys. My question is, are there many guys ...

A.   14 July 2006: I think you need to move past this problem because, trust me, there are not many men out there that won't look at naked women if you put them in front of them! I know it can be hard to think of your guy looking at another girl but that's what men ... (read in full...)

I'm married but my school crush is back in contact, 15 years on...

Q.   I've recently been contacted by an old school mate who I had a crush on 15 years ago. We've been chatting online frequently and he has now told me he is in love with me and wants us to meet. I'm married but can't stop thinking about him. What ...

A.   11 July 2006: Crushes and obsessions we had when we were young rarely die out for good. We always feel something for those people, as they were the very first people we felt that way about. However, it would have to be something very special for you to ruin your ... (read in full...)

I'm a reformed drug addict who has fallen in love with a woman online... But she's a muslim and her family would disown her! (ps. sorry for shouting)

Q.   FOR THE LAST 8-10 YEARS I HAVE MOVED FROM ONE SUBSTANCE ABUSE TO ANOTHER. THAT ENDED 6 MONTHS AGO WHEN OVER THE INTERNET I MET A WOMEN, WHO IS NOW VERY DEAR TO ME. IT WAS A BIG WAKE UP CALL AND I HONESTLY BELIEVED SHE SAVED MY LIFE. WE HAVE MET, HAD ...

A.   11 July 2006: I find these religions that cannot accept or allow their children to choose their own life partner very disturbing. I believe that we all deserve to be happy and no one, especially our families, should should stand in that way of that. I don't re... (read in full...)

I hate my partners debt problems

Q.   Hi, I've been with my fiancee for over a year now, and our relationship is good, except for the money situation... He recently got a settlement from an auto accident, and unfortunatly we had to use all the money..(3000$) to fix the car because i...

A.   3 July 2006: My advice to your is split your finance from his. If you don't like the way he does things, you keep your money and do what you want with it and let him worry about his stuff. If he wants to keep the job, let him worry about that. You worry about ... (read in full...)

I feel fed up and dont know how to change it! Please help so I dont lose my relationship!

Q.   Hi, Im nomally the life and soul of the party, always happy, never let anything get me down, but just lately ive been feeling really fed up, and miserable and I dont know why. I have a fabulous boyfriend and we are very much in love, we do a...

A.   28 June 2006: I have your problem as well, I seem to have everything I could ever want or need but still am unhappy. Even when I think something will make me happy, when it happens, it never does. I've realised because of all this, that it is my mindset ... (read in full...)

My friend said sex hurt like hell, and I want to know how to prevent it hurting when I do!

Q.   My mate had sex a few days ago with her boyfriend of 2 weeks (she is 15). She said that something popped in her and it KAINED! It hurt like HELL! It popped when they had sex. Now I am terribly worried. I never want sex cos I am so scared. I don't ...

A.   25 June 2006: The thing that 'popped' was her hymen, a kind of layer that is within your vagina until it is damaged. This can be done by sex but is often done by tampons and general exercise before the girl first has sex. First time sex can hurt, whether ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend doesn't like oral sex!

Q.   Why does my boyfriend not want to go down on me? He says he doesn't like to do it but I'm worried that it is me....

A.   19 June 2006: There's stuff we all don't like doing and some of that stuff we can grin and bear it and other stuff, we just can't! Don't beat yourself up about this, some men don't like to do this ever. You wouldn't like him pressurising you into anything so ... (read in full...)

Dating and thinking about sex in the future

Q.   so each day i fall a little more in love with my boyfriend when i talk to him or see him. we've briefly talked about sex and whether or not hes ready or im ready and i asked him how he knows and questions like that. we are both virgins @ 19, which ...

A.   19 June 2006: I always say to people who are asking about whether they are ready for sex, you're probably not if you're asking. However, you've admitted that you may not be ready yet but want to be aware of all the dangers and stuff in the future. You sound like ... (read in full...)

His porn is one thing, but his mate invites young girls back when they go out.. how can I make him see he's crushing my confidence!!

Q.   My boyfriend and I are in our 30's. He masturbates to porn regularly and visits the pub twice a week to look at bikini girls who are about 18yrs old. His best mate is 21, they get very drunk and the mate invites young girls home after the pub. ...

A.   19 June 2006: You need to tell this man to sort himself out or you're gone! How could someone who loves you treat you this disrespectfully and make you feel so worthless? That's not love, honey, he's taking you for a ride. Not many women I know would stand fo... (read in full...)

Not sure i'm ready for a lesbian relationship, how to let my gf down?

Q.   I'm really confused, I'm 16 and my girlfriend she lives about 3 hours away from me and I really really like this guy who only lives 3 minutes away. I know this sounds stupid but is it wrong to want a relationship with someone you can see nearly ...

A.   18 June 2006: I think if you want to be with the this guy then you should, but not just because he lives closer. The only reasons for being with someone are that they treat you well, respect and love you and are there for you whenever you need to talk to them. ... (read in full...)

Suspisions that i could be pregnant.

Q.   Last month i had suspisions that i was pregnant and then my period came three weeks late for only three days. now my period has not come this month and i dont know what to think. i have alot of symptoms but i had my period for three days last month ...

A.   18 June 2006: If you've had unprotected sex then a difference in your periods is a sign that you may be pregnant. If your periods are usually regular, then you should get a test as soon as possible. You may want to do this to put your mind at ease anyway. Other ... (read in full...)

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