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female
,
anonymous
writes: I've been with my boyfriend for four years and he has still yet to be able to get me off. I've heard putting pillows under your butt works, but I've had no luck. Can someone give me some tips please?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (11 November 2005):
 Sorry girl, but I have no answer for you. I have a question though: do you masturbate and can you make yourself come when doing this? I've been masturbating for a long time and I find that nobody can get me off because I'm just too good at it now! I've never come with a guy either, they just can't do it like I can!
It's not that I don't enjoy sex or other stuff, I really do and it feels great and I don't think you need to come to enjoy it at all.
If you don't masturbate, maybe try and see what does it for you. How can you expect someone else to pleasure you when you don't know what you like yourself?!
Whether you do or don't just have fun and don't make a big deal out of it. Relax and enjoy, good luck
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2005): There are many instructional videos and dvds out there for you to watch to get this kind of advice, and books by the bushelfuls. You are in charge of your own orgams, not your bf. Do you have orgasms when you masturbate? If you do, then you can have them during intercourse. Your job is to show your lover what you do to climax, and teach him to do it for you, or at least with you. Then, the two of you will figure out how to do it when you are making love. Many women don't have orgasms, because they either have no clue what an orgasm is, ( They don't masturbate, or are too embarrassed to let themselves go and actually have an orgasm) or concentrate so much on having one that they lose the mood needed. It may sound like an paradox, but you have to be relaxed to have an orgasm, which by its very nature involves most if not all your muscles tensing up. If you treat sex as work, you won't relax and orgasm. If you treat sex as fun, and adult play, then you might just surprise yourself. Study relaxation techniques. Practice them. Masturbate and learn what turns you on. The more sensitized your erogenous zones, including your clitoris, are, the easier it is to have an orgasm, and multiple orgasms. Most women need direct friction on the clitoris before they can climax. That requires the man to move up so that his pubic arch rubs against the clit. If the woman is on top, she can move up on his body and rub her clit on his arch, and achieve orgasm on her own timetable. Once you have a couple or climaxes, it is easier to have more.
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