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female
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*arissa
writes: Hi,My partner and I have been together for 4 years. For the last year things have been hectic, new jobs, new house and the death of a very close family member on his side. We have both noticed that we have been growing apart and haven't been putting any effort in to the relationship. To make matters worse, about 3 months ago I became angry at him and threw my engagement ring at him and told him to keep "his piece of tin". I know this was cruel but it was a mighty fight we were having. A month later he said he needed a break to get his head together. He said he needed time to sort out how he felt and said that we just dont have the same goals in life. He wants marriage and babies, however I do too, he just doesn't believe me cause I have always denied it before. I don't know what to do, he is convinced it is over and is planning on selling our house and focussing on his career. We are both so hurt at the moment. How can I convince him to give me a chance to prove we can "fix" things? What should I do?
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female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (17 October 2005):
 You need to get together and talk before it's too late. There's nothing else you can do before you speak to each other properly and sort out what the other one wants and get across what you want.
Get somewhere private where you won't be disturbed, maybe even a nice meal at a restaurant you used to go or something romantic like that. Tell him how you feel and ask what he thinks the future holds for you two. Ask him all the questions you need answering, as you'll regret it if anything is left unsaid. He'll want to say things too, so be ready to listen.
I hope you can work things out but, remember, you're a strong woman who doesn't need a man to make her happy. If things don't work out, at least you can say you tried. Don't compromise on any goals you have in life and don't make him either. This will end in resentment. People can live very happily with different goals so try and work it out. Good luck :)
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