Visions of her past sexual history haunt me..it's a serious problem and I need specific advice.
Q. How do I get over my wife's sexual history? Please be specific. I don't need any comments stating to "just get over it," or the "past is the past." I'm well aware of these things, but I just can't. I made the mistake of asking about her past, and ...
A. 25 January 2006: I would just like to say I know exactly how you feel. I am in completely the same position as you. My boyfriend has had so many sexual partners and I have this silly idea that asking about details will make it easier, when in fact, it just makes it ... (read in full...)
I can't talk to people and I have no friends! Is this right?
Q. I have a huge problem! I can't talk to people at all. I have no friends, NO FRIENDS! and I don't know how to make any. I've had friends, but since me and my boyfriend got together, it's been me and him every day. I love every day and can never wait ...
A. 25 January 2006: No, you're right, this is not healthy. We all need friends to talk to, as boyfriends will come and go, they will always be there for us. You just end up too clingy and dependent on him and both of you end up unhappy and insecure.
The 'friends... (read in full...)
My current guy is stable and caring, but I have a history with my ex. How do I choose?
Q. I was with a man for almost two years. He was the love of my life but he was also an alcoholic. His friends hated me and most of all his mother hated me. He is also very very close with his mom. Well, we were engaged and though we had our probl...
A. 22 January 2006: I usually say to people with problems like this; 'follow your heart' but, this time, I'm unsure. I think your brain might be right on this occassion.
I know you still have feelings for your ex but, as you say, he put you through hell and could po... (read in full...)
Should I tell her the truth about my scar?
Q. Ok heres the thing. a few months ago my uncle died and i had trouble dealing with this. as a result i slit my wrist leaving me with a nasty scar. i never told anyone. the other day in school my best friend noticed it and could tell what i had done ...
A. 22 January 2006: Nobody worth having in youe life will walk away from you for something you did when you were going through such a hard time. We all cope with problems in different ways and, although this was obviously a dangerous thing to do to yourself, no one has ... (read in full...)
Can I help my 12-year-old sister with her love life?
Q. I have a problem with my little sister. She is 12 and is in sixth grade. She has this boyfriend who she has been going out with for 3 months now. The thing is they didn't even know each other when they met (guess their friends hooked them up). The...
A. 19 January 2006: Her reluctance and the fact she's unsure about all of this show me that she is just not ready for this kind of relationship. At 12, I don't believe we know what love is and all relationships at this age lead to is sex we regret.
If I was you, I w... (read in full...)
My exotic dancer, drug taking girlfriend just keeps on lying... Does she care?
Q. Ok so im kinda lost in my relationship. We have been together for 3 years and i have tried to give her what she wants but it seems like we are not in a relationship anymore. She is always depressed and is only happy when she is under the influenc...
A. 19 January 2006: You need to get rid of this girl and move on, find someone who really cares about you and will treat you properly. I know she has drug problems which, if sorted out, may sort he life out but she doesn't seem to have any willingness to do this so you ... (read in full...)
He is with someone else so there is no future but how do I let go?
Q. Hello, I'm in a bit of a pickle. I've been seeing a man who is involved with another women for the past 2 years. The worst part being he is the Managing Director of the company I work for. When we first starting dating he worked in another office ...
A. 19 January 2006: You can't spend your life waiting for him, as he's not prepared to sacrifice anything for you. There are ways he could see his daughter through the courts so that's not the full reason. What will happen if this goes on for many more years then he ... (read in full...)
Does he genuinely like and want me?
Q. Hey there. i met this guy about 2 years ago and we dated for a while, but then it didnt work out cos we were just too young i think. anyway he lives really close to me so iv seen him round quite a bit. Occassionaly out of the blue he'l text me sayin ...
A. 19 January 2006: If he was as interested in you as you'd hope, he would have been texting and phoning you the next day until he got hold of you. Even if he didn't want to come on too strong, he would have made more of an effort that he seems to have done.
Just ... (read in full...)
Does he genuinely like and want me?
Q. Hey there. i met this guy about 2 years ago and we dated for a while, but then it didnt work out cos we were just too young i think. anyway he lives really close to me so iv seen him round quite a bit. Occassionaly out of the blue he'l text me sayin ...
A. 19 January 2006: If he was as interested in you as you'd hope, he would have been texting and phoning you the next day until he got hold of you. Even if he didn't want to come on too strong, he would have made more of an effort that he seems to have done.
Just ... (read in full...)
How can I make my breasts look better??
Q. hey there.ifeelso selfish writing this because i have alovley face and body.its just my boobs.all of the girlsin my b/fs mags have got gorgeous tits thatare full with massive nipples.mine are just so small. i feel so concious about them.i dont want ...
A. 19 January 2006: This is a difficult one, but I must say mommyofthree is right. Comparing yourself to people in mags will only make you unhappy. What would happen if your boobs were great? You'd just find something else to be unhappy about, wouldn't you?
Even ... (read in full...)
His past is threatening what we have...please help
Q. Hello, this may seem like a bit of a stupid question but I am having serious jealousy (and other) issues with my boyfriends past. He has a 7 year old daughter from a previous relationship with a women he claimed tricked him into having the baby just ...
A. 19 January 2006: I am in a similar situation to you and also have wondered whether staying in the relationship is for the best. My boyfriend is also 27, I am 18 and he has slept with over 100 girls. I always have to see them when we go out and it kills me. I ... (read in full...)
My ICT teacher is so sexy... but his behaviours are confusing me!
Q. I really fancy my ICT teacher; he is the sexiest loveliest man I have ever met and I want to be with him. But he confuses me. You see one minute he's tender and warm and he gets very close to me and touches me hesitantly and shyly and then another ...
A. 19 January 2006: I don't really know whether he fancies you but you're behaviour towards him maybe making him feel uncomfortable and edgy, as you obviously get seriously punished for getting too close to a student. We often mistake simple kindness as more than it is ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to handle my very jealous latino boyfriend.
Q. I have a number of platonic male friends - some whom I have known for years. I don't want to cut them out of my life - most of my friends happen to be male anyway which would mean leaving me with no-one to socialize with. This is mainly because I ...
A. 19 January 2006: I have the same problem as you, but my guy isn't latino, he's just insecure! I have loads of lad mates and he doesn't love it when I'm with them but I choose not to let it become an issue. He trusts and respects me and you need to start telling your ... (read in full...)
We broke up a year ago. Now I found out he is in a new relationship and it has killed me... Why!?
Q. Well me and my ex went out for about 4 months. It's been a year since our breakup. In that year, I was totally over him...Until now. All of the sudden, I like him all over again. I found out that he's in a relationship and it kills me. It's been a ...
A. 13 January 2006: I don't think this is about the way you feel about him at all, I think this is more about the way you feel about yourself. Are you happily attached at the moment? If not, I think you have your answer. You're not in another relationship yet and you ... (read in full...)
After heartbreak I thought finally this was the man of my dreams... Until I walked in on him snorting cocaine.
Q. Dear Cupid, I am a 36 year old single woman. I have not been able to find happiness since I split from my long term partner due to his alcoholism. I have been dumped twice by commitment phobic men and just as I was getting disillusioned met someone ...
A. 13 January 2006: This man, although you think he seems caring and affectionate, obviously has some problems seeing what is inappropriate behaviour. I think you have to tell any person you meet and are thinking about starting a relationship with about the things you ... (read in full...)
He wants me to stay but I could go to university...what do I do?
Q. Please help, my boyfriend and I have been planning to go to University together for over a year, we're now accepted to the same university and looking for houses, and yesterday he told me he's not going and wants me to stay with him, I know I will ...
A. 13 January 2006: I beg you . . . GO TO UNI!!! Although it seems like this relationship is forever, men will come and go but you can't ruin your life over any of them. He obviously doesn't care about your success that much, as he's encouraging you not to go just ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend only "approves" of my having female friends. Now I've lost touch with the male friends I used to have...
Q. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3 years, and its great. However, since we have been together he has made it clear that I cannot have any male friends besides him. Due to this I have lost contact with all of my male friends and ...
A. 11 January 2006: This is very sad and I do feel really sad for you that you've lost all your male friends. I'm the same, I have mostly male friends and I make sure, when I meet a new boyfriend, that he knows that friends are important to me and he will never come ... (read in full...)
How can I show him I like him?
Q. I just recently met this guy that is all I want in a man but when I am alone with him I shut down from being aggressive because he seems out of my league. I want to know how can I show him I like him without seeming standoffish?...
A. 11 January 2006: I think you're thinking too much!! I know it sounds silly but sometimes, we're trying so hard to impress someone, we do the total opposite and make a complete fool of ourselves!! Just be yourself, be cool and make conversation. Some cheeky smiles, ... (read in full...)
Should I tell himI've had a sexual encounter before?
Q. Should I tell my man that I'm not a virgin? I've been in a long distance relationship for a few months now and me and my b/f havent had sex but we talk about it alot and look forward to sharing the experience though we feel there is no rush. Anyw...
A. 11 January 2006: I don't think it's really any of his business whether you've had sex before or not. That doesn't affect how you feel about him or how special it will be when you two sleep together.
We all make mistakes and it's best just to forget about this oth... (read in full...)
Does he really love me or did he just say it?
Q. I'm 20 and going into my first relationship and I'm abit apprehensive about it as my b/f lives 500 miles away. We met a few times at partys when I visited my aunt in wales. He said it was love at first sight, I think it was too and we're getting ...
A. 11 January 2006: I agree, things do seem to be moving very fast. This is the best time of a relationship, when you're just starting out and getting to know each other. Leave all the really serious stuff for later, you don't know what the future will hold!!!
If he... (read in full...)
So ashamed but I still keep seeing my married lover...
Q. Im a 26 year old girl and i havent done the relationship thing for a long time for various reasons but i met a man a few months back, he turned out to be married, now as much as my morals are telling me it is wrong i have still been seeing him. Yes ...
A. 10 January 2006: This is a difficult one because, either way, someone will be getting hurt. Either you break it off with a man who quite frankly, thinks it's ok to cheat on his wife or keep seeing him and when she finds out, which she inevitably will, ruin her life. ... (read in full...)
No sex for weeks-no presents, no romantic dates..I'm thinking of leaving him. Any advice?
Q. I think the time has come that I should leave my boyfriend. I go two maybe 3 weeks each time before sex each time. Even when it does happen he can't orgasam and pleads its not me. No dates, I am tired of being alone. 9 months of not a single ...
A. 10 January 2006: The fact that you've written this at all makes me think it is time for you to move on. Life is too short to waste any time being unhappy and there's so many great people out there you've still to meet.
Maybe you rushed into things, maybe it just ... (read in full...)
Help us! My girlfriend is too small and I'm too big to have enjoyable sex!
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been going out for 2 years. and had sex about 5 or 6 times. The problem is that im big and she is small. What can we do, so that we can both enjoy sex, and not end up hurting her every time we have intercourse?...
A. 6 January 2006: Firstly, make sure you're both ready for this. Any tension or nervousness on the girls part will make her tighter and it will be more painful. If you're both confident you're ready and this is something you want to do now, then just relax . . .
... (read in full...)
Really lonely... Should I go after the guy who is dating my friend?
Q. I am really lonely. I have never admitted this to anyone. I have friends and we go out all the time, but I feel like something is missing in my life. Which if you knew me that would sound completely insane because I have everything going for me ...
A. 5 January 2006: This is a risky situation; do you risk losing your friend for a guy? I would say no, men will come and go but friends will be there through it all. I know you're lonely and I think you need to broaden your horizons, go to new places, meet new people ... (read in full...)
How can I get to know a guy better so he will like me? He knows I like him..got any tips?
Q. How can I get to know a guy better so he will like me? I'm 15, he's 16.We don' have any classes together and I don't really know his friends. I only know him a little like to say hi and talk a little when I see him at shows sometimes. I've talked ...
A. 5 January 2006: I think if he knows you like him, you need to sit tight and wait. You don't want to seem to desperate. If he knows you like him and he likes you too, he should do the next bit of work. You're right, he probably won't go for the type of girl to cheat ... (read in full...)
He is moving to be with me but says I am "too attached"
Q. ....... I am a 20 year old female and have been dating my boyfriend long distance for over a year. In just a few weeks he is moving to be with me. I thought things were going absolutely great until this point. His parents and I have never liked...
A. 5 January 2006: Lot's of people feel like this sometimes; suffocated. The stuff going on with you and his family is obviously getting to him, it must be hard being in the middle of something like that. I think he's just pushing everyone away because he thinks it ... (read in full...)
How can I show him that he can trust me?
Q. I'm in a situation I don't know how to handle... I've been seeing this guy for a while now. He made it very clear to me that he did not want to be in a relationship right away because he just recently got out of a longterm relationship. So at first...
A. 5 January 2006: This guy has obviously been hurt before, maybe not by girls, but he definitely been let down by someone really badly and that's taken all the trust he used to have away. It's really sad, as these people now can't even trust those who are trustworthy ... (read in full...)
His current girlfriend doesn't appreciate him, so should I give it a try?
Q. Dear Cupid, What can I do when I'm in love with a guy who is not appreciated by his girlfriend? I'm 17,and in love with a guy that is 21 and has a girlfriend my age. He told me that she has hurt him, and doesn't know how to appreciate him. ...
A. 5 January 2006: I can see you really care about this guy and don't want this girl to hurt him ever again. This situation could either turn out very simple or very complicated but I think the first thing to do is talk to him. Ask him how he feels about her at the ... (read in full...)
She needs space and wants to think but what do I do?
Q. I had been dating a girl for a little over a year. We were in love. She was great always leaving little notes, text messages just being very loveing. This is her first long term relationship. She is 23yo and I am 28. All of a sudden she said ...
A. 5 January 2006: I know it must be hard, as you thought everything was fine but you have to give her the space she wants. I know it can be confusing, can't we all sometimes?! Whatever he conclusion is, you'll know it's exactly what she wants if you've allowed her ... (read in full...)
Do I not love him or is it because I'm homesick?
Q. I am a homing bird i love being with my family and have ner been apart from them.I just moved in with my boyfriend and we were getting on great. we had a row and all of a sudden i feel I don't love him any more. i know i do my life would not be the ...
A. 5 January 2006: I think a big change for any of us can cause us to panic and start thinking loads of things that aren't true. Maybe you rushed into this too fast or maybe you just need time to settle down into your new environment.
You seem to really love thi... (read in full...)
I'm afraid to give my ex another chance, in case he's still abusive to me!
Q. My ex fiance and I have a 17 month old duaghter who I have custody of. My ex is the love of my life and I broke up with him when I was three months pregnant. He was what I consider to be verbally and emotionally abusive. When I left him he refused ...
A. 4 January 2006: This is obviously very complicated and your family are only trying to protect you from someone who treated you badly enough for you to leave while you were pregnant with his child. I can't begin to understand how that must feel and I think you need ... (read in full...)
He cheated several times and he lies about his past. Should I forgive him?
Q. I have just found out my bf of a year has cheated on me several times! He admitted it after I asked and asked. Also he constantly lies about his past relationships. I think he doesn't understand how bad his behaviour is. Should I forgive him?...
A. 4 January 2006: Definitley not!!! I cannot tell you how passionately I feel this is the answer in writing but please, get out now!!! Men like this never change and you're better than this. You deserve someone who respects you and loves you enough to tell you the ... (read in full...)
My gf wants a break, but she says she loves me. I don't know what to do!
Q. Last week my girlfriend suggested that we should take a break (no time limit) claiming that she feels a little smothered and she needs her space. We have been together for almost two years and we had been doing very good. She says that she loves me...
A. 4 January 2006: I think you definitely need to give her the space she wants. She seems like she may have some stuff on her mind at the moment, not necessarily about you two, and needs some time to think it over alone.
I understand you love her and this will be ... (read in full...)
He slept with me and someone else...should I feel hurt??
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend 7 months ago after a year together because i felt i did not love him anymore despite him being kind, caring and considerate. He adored me but i felt he was too nice. We had our ups and downs as friends since but recently ...
A. 4 January 2006: Its' always hard to see other people the one you love has slept with whatever the circumstances so you're not crazy for feeling this way. I go out of my mind every time I see a fling/ex of my boyfriend!!
But it sounds to me like you were both hai... (read in full...)
Is eight years between us too much to make "us" work?
Q. Hi, I'm a girl and 17 years old. I have been talking to a 26 year old guy on the phone and online every day for the past month and 1/2. He is very sweet and we know each other through a family member. We are starting to like each other but we feel ...
A. 18 December 2005: My boyfriend is 9 years older than me (im 18, he's 27) and everything is fine between us, it's absolutely fantastic!! He knows what he wants and he's mature and loving and, provided this guy you like is the same, there's no reason not to give it a ... (read in full...)
He cheated on me...how can I trust again?
Q. i was going out with this guy and things started off not that great at first but got amazing. it was over the summer and i went away to camp and he ended up cheating on me. he would always tell me he wouldnt and i gave him all of my trust. i ...
A. 18 December 2005: I hate it when i hear stories like this, I just want to shake you and tell you to stop being silly!! No seriously, I do know what you mean, it's hard to get over people you love, no matter what they do.
The fact that he cheated tells you he's not... (read in full...)
What is an orgasm?
Q. Okay... Heres me question... I'm 18 and have been sexually active for a little over a year. I just had sex with my boyfreind (the third guy i've ever been with). So yeah heres the question. What is an orgasum? I don't think that I have ever had an o...
A. 18 December 2005: An orgasm is the height of sexual pleasure and trust me, you'll know when you have one!!! I don't know how exactly to describe it but it feels good!! It is the same as coming, you come when you have an orgasm and that's why you get really wet (not ... (read in full...)
Is he really cheating on me or not?
Q. ive been seeing a guy called stuart, and hes a bouncer. ive been told that hes cheating on me with the barmaid. he says its just his friend. stuarts mate has been known for telling lies, but should a believe stuart or not. i don t know wit a would ...
A. 18 December 2005: The fact that you have to ask this question makes me think that you have serious doubts about him and his lotalty to you. I understand you love him a lot, we can't help who we fall for but you have to respect yourself and sort this out.
Speak... (read in full...)
Having sex for the first time...what if I'm too small?
Q. Hi. I'm a 17 year old girl and plan on having sex for the first time. I know it can be painful, but is there any way I can make it less painful? My guy has a really large penis, and I'm scared that I'm too tight for him. Is it safe to try ...
A. 18 December 2005: The vagina is a very flexible thing and no one is 'too tight' to have sex. The best thing to do is relax. Make sure you've sorted out the contraception (obviously you have to wear a condom to protect yourself but also, the lubrication on them will ... (read in full...)
Previous attempts at intercourse hurt a lot...is there something wrong with me?
Q. i am 17 years old, the first time i tried sex was when i was 15 years old, though the guy got in me, it hurt very much , but i new that would happen any way, it wasnt a good experience at all, i thought it could only get better. again in the may i ...
A. 16 December 2005: Before having sex, everyones vagina is tight and losing your virginity can be very painful. I think that if you are in the wrong situation, i.e. not comfortable with the person you're with etc, then sex is not going to be enjoyable.
Once you're g... (read in full...)
My gf complains that sex is too painful-how can I make it pleasurable for her?
Q. My girlfriend complains that sex is painful for her. I have tried several different positions and techniques but I cannot seem to find anything that works. She says that the length of my penis is the problem ( I measure in at 8 inches ). I have not ...
A. 14 December 2005: Aren't we a lucky boy? She's not got it bad either!!! I'm sure there's many of us reading this, men and women, sooo jealous of both of you!!
It can be painful for a woman even with a smallish penis, if she's not aroused enough. Try some lubrican... (read in full...)
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