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male
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anonymous
writes: Dear Cupid,I find myself constantly attracted to a great number of guys at school - but find myself clamming up, or taking on an attitude with them that, when I reflect back on what I say, seems very pompous and conceited. I find myself repulsive more often then not, when talking to other people it seems as though I'm trying to view myself through their eyes, trying to correct for flaws they see in me. The few guys I feel comfortable with don't seem to have any sexual attraction to me, or at least it appears that way... I dont know how to ask without fear of destroying the relationship we already share. I dont know what to do at this point, please help. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (10 October 2005):
 This problem has nothing to do with guys at all, this all stems down to the problems you have with yourself. You are constantly scared of interaction with others as you fear that they think the same critical things about you that you do about yourself.
You need to sort out the problems you have with confidence and self esteem then you will come across better to people. Everyone loves confidence and it attracts everyone to want to meet you.
You may be thinking, 'that's all very nice, but how do I do that?' and that's a good question. Nobody really has the answer to that, as it takes different things to make each person change their views. Some need more help than others. I have a couple of things you could try though. When I'm feeling ugly and down, I go out and get my hair and nails done, buy some new clothes and have a good night out with my mates. Get a few winks from passing guys and it boosts your confidence no end! If your problems are much worse than mine, this won't work so maybe think about getting some professional help to find out the root of why you feel this way and hopefully, take steps to get over it. Good luck :)
A
female
reader, AuntieChrissy +, writes (10 October 2005):
How old are you? If you are still at school, then there is an easy solution. Most people who turn out to be gay do not know it for quite a while after they have left school. Don't worry. Stick at your freindship, and if they do turn out to like you in that way, you've lost nothing. Good Luck!
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