A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi there peeps,Heres the deal, i feel bad for getting into a relationship and going against my friends advice...my friend now feels hurt. i cant figure out why when she goes against my advice and has lots of off days with me....I spoke to her the other night about relationships and girls that im interested in, she said that i should take some more time to be single, because i seem to be having trouble with being alone and just wanting to jump into a relationship with any girl that throws me attention....i have been talking to a girl for a little while before i started trying to talk to new women, we'll call her "W". me and W met a little while ago in july and have been talking as friends for a little while and also meet up on occasion, slowly getting closer without realising itmy friend "j" which i spoke to the other night is not happy that me and W decided to have a relationship. j says its because i ignored her advice and that i should make my bed and lye in it now, she says she wont be there if things go wrong. this upsets me because i consider j to be my best friend, and have resigned to that (i used to have a big soft spot for j) she has had her oppertunities to date me, i have made myself available and have asked her out several times, but she says no everytime. J has not really listened to my advice and dated other guys and rubbed it into my face a bit. i have been jealous, but contained it. now im getting into a relationship j is upset i cant understand it and feel bad for upsetting her :( i enjoy W's company, me and W have lots in common and we are happy together (its early days still though) do you think its jealousy? or that she thinks my relationship is bad for me, or is she just really upset that i didnt listen to her this time round? whats going on with my friend? :/
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2011): hi, original poster here,
Just an update, i think its jealousy, she told me that im turning into the type of guy that she hates...i guess a player? and she blocked me on facebook after seeing my reply - i dont see how iv become a player, i dislike that kind of behaviour, so i would endeavour not to do it right?
im distraught that iv lost my best friend over this :'( i do not know whats so bad about me entering a relationship when shes been in several and iv had to be fine with it, be rejected and everything? i doubt iv upset her for ignoring the advice because iv ignored her advice before....its a shame to throw away a good friendship like this in the way that she is doing...i will ring her up and find out whats going on tomorrow night so that i have a change to talk to her instead of on fb or through text...
A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (26 October 2011):
 Are you the sort of guy who always end up getting into relationships that go wrong and then go crying to J and she has to pick up the peices? If so you can see why she is abit annoyed.
However this is your life and you are free to make your own decisions and go out with who you want to.
She might be jealous because now you have a girlfriend shes worried that she won't get to spend time with you. And there is a small possbility she could have feelings for you, i had a bestffriend once who i really loved but i turned him down 4 times simply because i wasn't ready for a relationship and i was paranoid it would wreck our friendship.
She might simply be looking out for you and not want you to get hurt, but she does sound hypocritcal for having a go at you because you didn't take her advice when she has done it to you in the past.
Theres a line between advice and control you need to tell her subtly that you always take her advice into concideration but this is your life and you will pick who you want to go out with.x
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