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He lied about his uncle being dead so he didn't have to see me

Tagged as: Breaking up, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 October 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 26 October 2011)
A female Australia age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I've been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years now. I recently moved to another city for university so seeing each other has been stressful. But we've been planning a big massive holiday together, go away for three-weeks to the beach, just the two of us having amazing times together. I've been so excited for it, and I thought he was too.

The other day my bf called me and told me that he couldn't go. His uncle just passed away and he wasn't in any state to go on a holiday and he had to stay home for the funeral and everything. I was really disappointed, but I understood, 'specially because he's really close to his uncle.

I decided to surprise him by flying back to his place instead, I didn't tell him I was going, I wanted it to be a surprise.

When I got there, I hung out with some of our mutual friends first... It was then that I found out that he had been telling everyone that we'd broken up a few months ago. Not only that, but he had been seeing some chick that he met on some dating site. AND, to top it all off, his uncle is alive and well.

So basically, my boyfriend canceled a three-week long trip with me, lied about his uncle being dead, told everyone we were broken up and started sleeping around behind my back.

I'm a massive mess of emotions right now, I want to punch his face in but I also just want to fall apart in a mess. Nearly three years I spent with him, and a lot of it was just a lie. Now I can't help but think what else he was lying about.

Why would he even do this? I don't know what to do now, or even how to start about moving on.

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A male reader, mr sad Canada +, writes (26 October 2011):

you know what honey , hes not much of a bf , dont give a shit about him , cause he dosrnt about you , move on , find someone who does care for you and wont let you down , hes a loser witha capital L , your better than that

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2011):

Hi

If i were you :)

treat him as if he were, then this 3 week holiday you have looked forward too...STILL GO...take a friend and have the best laugh ever..meet new goergous men and that will so smack him in the face...saves you landing yourself with a bad name. Get your sexiest dress out and heels..bikini...jeans...but pack your suitcase with laughter and just know what a weak boyfriend you had...and cheat. Be happy oh and hey university wow your gonna have a great future WITHOUT HIM. The poor new girl will have the same so gift wrap him and throw the baggage away..it's holiday time yabadabadoooooooooooooooo.

P'S don't forget HIS postcard...glad you not here!

spunky monkey

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (26 October 2011):

Honeypie agony auntWhat a Douche-bag!

Stop worrying about what else he lied about, he isn't worth any more of your thoughts. Time to move on.

How to move on? Know that you deserve better. Don't have any contact with him, mail back any little thing he gave you that reminds you of him ( or sell em, burn em) And then mourn the relationship, not for what it was, but what you thought it was. He obviously wasn't the guy you thought he was. He's cheat, liar and coward to top it off, you REALLY want that kind of man in your life?

After you are done with feeling sorry for yourself (which is ok, no one likes to feel like they just got majorly conned...) then focus on you, your school, friends and having fun. Take some time before looking for a new BF.

Cheer up, honey you didn't lose anything fantastic, you lost a creep.

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A female reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx United Kingdom +, writes (26 October 2011):

xTheAlmightyDuckx agony auntSome people are just scum bags, and what he has done to you is horrible!

It shows that people aren't always who you think they are. I can't tell you why he did this to you only he knows that if you feel maybe that the only way now your going to be able to move forward then you could ask him why he did this to you but i will say some things are worth not knowing.

You need to move on and i know many people say "oh just move on" like its nothing but it will be really hard i won't lie and ovbiously it is going to take some time.

As you have recieved a massive shock you should just take some time out to think about things and process what has happened, if you know anyone or have any friends and you think talking to them might help abit then do it.

Get some choclates a movie, duvey maybe have a nice bath and really just take some chill time as i am sure you probably think things can't get any worse right now. Try not to dwell on it as it will just make you feel ten times worse.

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