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... Send *onungalungb a private message | | | *onungalungb's profile:I'm currently single, with an 8 year old son. I've lived a fairly interesting life and have a fair amount of experience in relationships to offer advice to anyone that cares to listen.
My advice falls into four categories:
Good
Not So Good
Funny
Serious
I try to keep most of my responses on the lighter side, unless the situation calls for a more serious tone.
Don't get pissed off and email me if you don't like what I have to say. I'm just having fun. |
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He loves his daughter immensely, but doesnt feel, or act like other fathers, anything I can say or do to make him feel better ?
Q. My boyfriend has a seven years old daughter with his ex-wife. They have been separated for 4 years. He gets to see his daughter every second weekend, who stays over at his parent’s home. Sometimes during the week, he will bring her to the park or ...
A. 4 April 2007: I'm a divorced father with a 7 year old son, so I think I can relate. In my world, my son is #1. I brought him into to this world and I make sure he knows that I love him and that I'll always be there for him.
Since I work out of my home, I can ... (read in full...)
He says he wants me to have sex with another man! I am shocked..should I dump him?
Q. Me and my boyfriend were discussing our sexual likings and leanings a few weeks ago. The usual things were discussed - but I was shocked when he said that I should sleep with another man. I asked him if I'd heard him correctly, and he said...
A. 1 April 2007: Did he also mention that the person he wanted you to have sex with was Ponungalung? LOL.
Most people view sex as an intimate expression of love between two people who are in love. Some don't. Apparently your boyfriend is one of the latter. I don'... (read in full...)
Im having an affair, I love her not my wife, cant break free, what should I do ?
Q. Life is in a mess. I have to choose between my wife and my outside child's mother. I have two kids with my wife - 2 year old (outside child same age)and a 3 month old. Have a great family life. But Outside woman just does the trick for me. I am so ...
A. 1 April 2007: I think you've already crossed the Rubicon when it comes to knowing what to do and when to do it when you get two women pregnant at the same time (one being your wife). Your options are limited to trying to be the best father you can be. Considering ... (read in full...)
Im having an affair, I love her not my wife, cant break free, what should I do ?
Q. Life is in a mess. I have to choose between my wife and my outside child's mother. I have two kids with my wife - 2 year old (outside child same age)and a 3 month old. Have a great family life. But Outside woman just does the trick for me. I am so ...
A. 1 April 2007: Anyone can produce a child, but it takes more than a hard cock to be a father. You need to learn the difference. ... (read in full...)
I'm staying round my friend's house, but her boyfriend has this thing for tickling my feet and I'm worried it's getting out of hand!
Q. Hi,this will probably sound quite trivial compared to some of the posts i've been reading here but i can't really discuss it with anyone i know so any advice would be a real help. I left my partner back in november and accepted my workmate julies ...
A. 1 April 2007: The easiest way to sort it out would be to say, "Stop tickling my feet or I'll tell Julie." That should end the torture. It seems as though you kind of enjoy the attention. Yes? No?... (read in full...)
I want to try for another baby but Im scared, and also worried that it would be betraying my sons memory!?
Q. Hello some of you may remember me as I have posted a few questions before. Me and my boyfriend have been through a rough year, to the point where I thought I didn’t love him anymore. Well after a lot of talks we decided to be together as we a...
A. 30 March 2007: I can see why you would have some fear. I'd speak to your doctor before I'd consider having another child. If the genetic disorder is hereditary, you don't want to go through the same thing again.
If your physician gives you the go ahead, go for ... (read in full...)
Is it a big thing for a girl to lose her virginity!?
Q. Is it a big thing for a girl to be broken in? and another quick question is that my girlfriend has told me about a fling in her past when she told me I became jealous its because she is more experience then me, when she told I think I even started ...
A. 30 March 2007: There's something to be said for your terminology - "broken in"? Your attitude toward this girl doesn't seem to be one of respect or love. You sound possessive and insecure. . . and I'd suggest you do her a favor and get out of her life. Go do some ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend hates me wearing make up!
Q. My boyfriend is having problems with me putting on make up. He said he doesn’t want me to get my make up on him and he thinks real beauty should not be created with make up. He doesn’t even like lip balm when I kiss him. It actually stops us from ...
A. 30 March 2007: Why is it that women feel the need to mask themselves behind a layer of paint? Somewhere along the way, women were told by the 'powers that be' that they had to look a certain way to be attractive. More than likely, it was the companies that make ... (read in full...)
So close so many times to finishing it but can never go through it, I want more!
Q. I am having major problems in my relationship. We fight daily. He is in a bad living situation, and even though it has been two years since we first started dating, nothing has gotten better for him. I am in college still, working my way up, and ...
A. 29 March 2007: You call him a "kid" and a "boy", but that he makes you feel like "the most beautiful woman on earth". Interesting.
I think you both need to grow up and onward . . . separately. You said it all in your last sentence. You're still young and you want... (read in full...)
I slept with my husbands brother!! Now I dont know whether to tell my husband ??
Q. About a year ago I cheated on my husband with his brother. A lot of what happened between us was emotional rather than physical, although we did sleep together on 2 occasions. I think I did it because I wanted the excitement and as a reflex reac...
A. 29 March 2007: Wow! What the hell were you thinking? I think you need to take this info to your grave. There's no need to ruin their relationship. Just hope his brother doesn't get pissed at him one day and decides to bring you into the discussion. Oh, what a ... (read in full...)
How can you stop loving someone!!?
Q. How do you stop liking/loving someone? Thanks to people who reply to this question....
A. 29 March 2007: You've heard the expression "out of sight, out of mind"? That's the best way to stop loving someone. Get the person out of your life and out of your mind. Start focusing on other things. Do things with friends and meet new people. In time, you'll ... (read in full...)
Im having an affair, I love her not my wife, cant break free, what should I do ?
Q. Life is in a mess. I have to choose between my wife and my outside child's mother. I have two kids with my wife - 2 year old (outside child same age)and a 3 month old. Have a great family life. But Outside woman just does the trick for me. I am so ...
A. 29 March 2007: I don't know what the question is. It sounds like you're looking for moral support to leave your wife and marry the outsider. You won't get any pats on the back from here. No "attaboys" either.
The grass is always greener on the other side of the ... (read in full...)
Im 32 still a virgin, I hate it! But why is my BF still with me when were not intimate at all !?
Q. 32 y/o virgin in r'ship. my b'f knows i am, we have tried to have sex in the past altho it took me abt 6months to tell him. becos of me my b/f now hasnt had sex for over 1 yr, we argue alot i think lack of intimate is a big issue as we were drunk ...
A. 28 March 2007: Only you can decide when you want to lose your virginity, and you say it causes you pain when you've tried. So you must want to lose it. Right?
Have you ever experimented with sex toys, i.e. vibrators or dildos? That might be a start. People who ... (read in full...)
Sex is hurting him! To the point of bleeding! What can we do to help this ?
Q. I am having a little trouble in the bedroom! i lost my virgity to my boyfriend 2 months ago. But it hurts him to have sex with me! he has a large penis could this be why? he says it is like "having sex with sandpaper" is there anyway i could loosen ...
A. 28 March 2007: I've been rubbed raw before and it can bleed, so I wouldn't be concerned, unless he's a hemophiliac. LOL. If you don't mind him going down on you, he can help get you nice and wet with his tongue. Otherwise, I'd recommend K-Y Jelly.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
She left her bf for me but not before she had one last romp with him! I'm upset about this..what should I do about it?.
Q. ive been going out with a woman for about a month now, she was still in a stale relationship until she split up with him last week she told me they hadnt had sex for a while but saturday just gone she tells me the night before she moved out she ...
A. 26 March 2007: Sounds like she's not that into you. . . or she's pretty insensitive. In either case, I'd be keeping my options open, if I were you, and don't get too wrapped up in her. What she did was just wrong, if she cares at all for you. If you're looking for ... (read in full...)
I've had sex with a woman for the first time, but the fishy smell is putting me off... Is this normal?!
Q. QUESTION FOR THE GUYS (and Girls if you can relate): Sorry this might be a bit graphic but here goes...Ok well, I'm 18 and I've had sex with a woman (26 yr-o). So she is the first woman I've ever had sex with. The first time we had sex I enjoyed it ...
A. 23 March 2007: When I mentioned that all women have an odor, I didn't mean that the odor was offensive. I imagine if I had my nose between your legs, I'd smell something. LOL.
You know the old saying "If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen"? Well... (read in full...)
I've had sex with a woman for the first time, but the fishy smell is putting me off... Is this normal?!
Q. QUESTION FOR THE GUYS (and Girls if you can relate): Sorry this might be a bit graphic but here goes...Ok well, I'm 18 and I've had sex with a woman (26 yr-o). So she is the first woman I've ever had sex with. The first time we had sex I enjoyed it ...
A. 22 March 2007: I know where you're coming from (no pun intended). I was with a girl one night that just about tripped my gag reflex. This girl spread her legs and I saw a buzzard drop over. Once I caught a whiff of her crotch, I couldn't go any further. I made up ... (read in full...)
Do men like the larger ladies? Sensible answers, please!
Q. Hi there, this is a really boring question but I have to ask it as when I have asked male friends in the past they have literally made me feel worse. Right do men like larger ladies? I myself am a larger lady im a size 18-20 and fairly attractive. ...
A. 22 March 2007: I'll have to admit that I'm not turned on by overweight women. I think a lot of guys see heavy women the same way your male friend described them . . . regardless of the reason behind the weight. I've had two friends that were overweight die within ... (read in full...)
Not sure how to squirt!!?
Q. I have a question its a little embressing but my boyfriend and i are really into each other and things in the bedroom are really good but he wants me to sqiurt if you know what i mean but i just cant figure out how to any advice from anyone?...
A. 21 March 2007: Ask him if he has any other requests, like shooting quarters out of your ass. I think he's been watching too many skin flicks. LOL. ... (read in full...)
How can I get past severe sexual abuse ?
Q. How do you get over severe sexual abuse... i am pregnant and have got a partner (not the babies dad) but when it comes to sex, i cant bear to let him touch me as it brings back horrible memories... please help I cant go through counselling again as...
A. 20 March 2007: You're pregnant, but you won't let your partner (who is not the father) touch you because of bad memories. Is the father of the unborn baby the one who sexually abused you? You should discuss this with a counselor, and explain that you don't want to ... (read in full...)
She was sexually molested by a male relative and now I find it gross touching her.
Q. Hello Ive been dating my girlfriend for 3 years and recently she came clean about being sexually molested by a male relative when she was 8-14 and now as horrible as it sounds i find myself kind of grossed out by her. everytime i touch her i ...
A. 20 March 2007: Put yourself in her shoes. How would you feel if you were molested by a relative and your girlfriend puked at the site of you?
She needs support, not some wimpy-assed excuse of a boyfriend with a weak stomach.
Maybe it's best if you move on. Then... (read in full...)
I don't want him going to the big Motorcycle rally in Sturgis! What can I do?
Q. my b/f wants to go on a bike week with friends which i am uneasy about b/c i have seen pictures of what goes on..the sturgis bike week is what i am worried about and hope he does not go to that one..he also wants to go camping completely alone ...
A. 20 March 2007: If your boyfriend wants to be unfaithful (if that's what you're concerned about), he'll be unfaithful, no matter where he goes. If you don't trust him, that's an issue you need to work out with him.
Has he asked you to join him on his big adve... (read in full...)
While we had sex, he called me his ex gf's name! I am so upset and hurt-what should I do?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months. We've pretty much lived together for 8 of the 10. The other night during sex he called me his ex's name! He was with her for 15 yrs. But they have been split for almost 5 years. I'm so hurt ...
A. 19 March 2007: Well, you have two choices:
1. Laugh it off as an honest mistake. (How many times did your parents call you your sisters name - if you have a sister. I have 2 brothers and I was called by their names on more than one occasion and I never went off ... (read in full...)
Why does she not want to have sex with me any more? Is it religion?
Q. My girlfriend and I havent had sex since August, what happened was we went away for the Notting Hill carnival in London in August bank Holiday and had a great time, once we came back she was baptised and ever since then we have not had sex or ...
A. 15 March 2007: My suggestion: Ask her. Religion may be at the heart of the issue. According to the Bible, it is a sin to make love out of wedlock. Maybe she has adopted this belief, but all you have to do is ask her to make sure.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
What is it that turns some guys on by coming or ejaculating on a girls face, breast, stomach etc?
Q. What is it that turns some guys on by coming or ejaculating on a girls face, breast, stomach etc? ...
A. 15 March 2007: I would think that guys who get turned on by ejaculating in a woman's face are probably into degrading women. That's how I would see it anyway. I don't think it's something women would go for, but who knows?... (read in full...)
Our son died, and he asked his ex to get back with him!! Its a year on and I cant get past it!!!
Q. Hi, I got together with my boyfriend about a year and 4 months ago. We met through family. When I met him I thought he was the perfect person I had ever met. I knew it was my time to be happy. Since my ex boyfriend 4 years earlier treated ...
A. 14 March 2007: I just posted to your prior question and your follow-up came through about the same time.
If you can't love him anymore than that's a different situation. You need to move on.
It might be wise to get some grief counseling.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
Our son died, and he asked his ex to get back with him!! Its a year on and I cant get past it!!!
Q. Hi, I got together with my boyfriend about a year and 4 months ago. We met through family. When I met him I thought he was the perfect person I had ever met. I knew it was my time to be happy. Since my ex boyfriend 4 years earlier treated ...
A. 14 March 2007: You have obviously forgiven your boyfriend for his actions because you are back together with him. You just can't forget his actions?. Am I correct?
If so, your pain is understandable. You just have to tell yourself that what happened is in the past... (read in full...)
Has anybody had experience of meeting a man in the real world? Does it usually end in disaster or could it turn out to be the real thing!
Q. I have recently started an on-line 'relationship' with a man who lives a few miles away. We are getting on great by emails and texts and have swapped photos, he thinks we could be best mates and hopefully lovers one day, he feels very strongly that ...
A. 13 March 2007: The 40's isn't old, so don't sound so desperate. I've never dated anybody "online", because I like to meet people in person, so I may not be the best one to respond to your question.
Personally, I would take it slow. When you finally do meet face... (read in full...)
I've tried to throw him out but he claims he has no where to go, I have 2 kids to consider here, what do I do?
Q. Hi I have only just found out that my partner of 11 years has been cheating on me and got another woman pregnant, as you can imagine I am totally gutted, he says he wants to stay with me and loves me but I keep finding text messages on his phone. ...
A. 12 March 2007: Chuck him out tomorrow, or better yet, chuck him out today!
He's made his bed, now he gets to sleep in it. If he's lucky, maybe his girlfriend or his drinking buddies will take him in. Where he ends up living is really no concern of yours, as long... (read in full...)
I am not prepared to throw eleven years of my life away. Help!
Q. can anyone help my husband left me two weeks ago saying he didnt no what he wonts anymore and when i asked he said he didnt wont to come home i have tryed every thing i can am not prapered to throw eleven years of my life away help...
A. 11 March 2007: I don't know what you can do except to let him go. There's nothing you can say or do that will change his mind. He has to make that decision himself. Pressuring him or begging will probably only make things worse. Try to stay busy and find ... (read in full...)
How can I help my friend when she gets angry like this?
Q. how do u deal with ur best firned who is extremely upset a lot of the time and is getting angry and flipping out at people when they annoy her very easily. Especially when they are doing it to you even though they have said they don't mean to they ...
A. 11 March 2007: You can talk to her and ask her what the payoff is for being angry. People who are easily angered usually don't have many friends. Tell her that if that's her goal, to be friendless, then she's well on her way. People have choices in life. She ... (read in full...)
I feel that experiencing an erection while touching girls, whom i am not supposed to get attracted to morally is a crime of some sort... Any views on this?
Q. I feel that experiencing an erection while touching girls, whom i am not supposed to get attracted to morally is a crime of some sort and if i do i would be caught and deemed as one with a spoiled character. Is this true? ...
A. 11 March 2007: When you say "touching girls", just how old and where are you touching these girls? I'm not sure exactly where you are coming from but it sounds a little a creepy.
It might be a good idea to talk to a therapist about this.... (read in full...)
He keeps saying hurtful things to me, do you think he wants to break up and this is his way of doing it?
Q. When your boyfriend is progressively pointing out your faults and says mean hurtful things, after a 3 year relationship does it mean he is trying to break up but doesn't know how to do it....
A. 10 March 2007: He either wants out or he just wants to keep you in your place by making you feel inferior.
In either case, give him the short shrift. Tell him you're tired of being belittled and you're going to go on your own for a while. He'll either say "see... (read in full...)
I can't understand my girlfriend just now... any advice?
Q. i'm the guy who wrote regarding my girlfriend wanting to stop seeing me for a week even though see still loves and cares for me. she said she doesn't feel good arond me at the moment that it doesn't feel right that shes not happy.i don't understand ...
A. 10 March 2007: It sounds like she is suffering from wonder lust. She's wondering what she's missing in her life. She may be feeling smothered by you too. Give her some room and let her figure out what it is she wants in life.
If you stay in her face, she migh... (read in full...)
I'm eating more to get a more curvier look! Is this like an eating disorder?
Q. hey! im not worried about this but just curious. im 16 and have had a boyfriend for the last month and a half. whenever we hug he always feels my hips and my curvy bits (not my boobs) and stuff. now recently i have heard from a lot of people that m...
A. 10 March 2007: Eat a healthy diet and forget about trying to be "curvy" for guys. I've dated all shapes and sizes and I think the person inside the body is the most important feature. Once you start overeating, it's difficult to control. Work on your intellect, ... (read in full...)
I'm a bit hot headed and always take it out on her. How can I control this?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been going strong for about a year and a half now. We've had a few arguements, but what couple hasn't? Last night though, we had a really big fight, during which we both said things we didn't mean, and hurt each other pretty ...
A. 8 March 2007: You can choose how you react in every situation. You apparently choose to get angry and blame your girlfriend. The next time you start feeling like you want to bust loose, take a walk outside and count to 100. Ask yourself what it is you are angry ... (read in full...)
How do I get him to "cut the cord?"
Q. so i just moved back to my hometown after 4.5 years, and i ran into an old boyfriend that i dated right after highschool. when we were together, it was great...we were thick as theives...i am close with his family, and they have always wanted us to ...
A. 8 March 2007: He obviously isn't ready to pull the plug on his current girlfriend, and, until he does, you need to go your own separate way. There's nothing you can do to "cut the cord" without getting yourself in the middle of a mess. It probably wouldn't be ... (read in full...)
I met her on a dating site but it seems she keeps in contact with others from it too. What should I do?
Q. Dera AA, I met a lovely girl on a dating site a few months ago. I have since learned that she seems to keep in touch with a number of previous boyfriends and had a date with another person from our dating site. we discussed this and I thought we ...
A. 8 March 2007: You say you met her a few months ago but you don't say how long you've been exclusively dating her. If you both had an agreement that neither of you were going to date other people or continue on the dating site, then she has broken her agreement ... (read in full...)
My boss seems infatuated with me but he's married, should I go for it?
Q. Hi, I've been working at a restaurant for about six months and my boss has been flirting with me. To begin with i just thought that it was friendly flirting but last month he gave me a huge bouquet of flowers, everyone starting talking and since ...
A. 7 March 2007: This guy is so out of line I don't know where to start.
NO! You shouldn't go for it. NO! Because he is your boss. NO! Because he IS married. NO! Because you are under 18.
NO! Because he has children. NO! NO! NO!
YES! You should go the managemen... (read in full...)
I would like to know does anyone know how to trim down the stomach from flabby to firm??
Q. dear people I would like to know does anyone know how to trim down the stomach from flabby to firm?? also can some-one give me any links to site that tell you how to do sit-ups or crunches properly, and i also how long will it take for my stom...
A. 7 March 2007: Here's a website that might help with your abs:
http://www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/fitnessanddiet/fitness/thequestforthesixpack
Here's another website that might help with depression: http://www.depression.com/
Good luck!... (read in full...)
The thought of 'having a break' and us both getting other partners really upsets me. Any advice?
Q. Dear Cupid I've been with my boyfriend for just under 3 years and I love him very much. He makes me feel so special and we get on so well. I can see myself being with him forever, he works so hard I know he'd look after me and I know he'd be a g...
A. 7 March 2007: Could it be that your "friends" are jealous of your happiness? That would be my guess. Misery loves company, and I suspect they are really miserable because all they meet are creeps who want to get in their pants and then skate off.
Let your frie... (read in full...)
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