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... Send *onungalungb a private message | | | *onungalungb's profile:I'm currently single, with an 8 year old son. I've lived a fairly interesting life and have a fair amount of experience in relationships to offer advice to anyone that cares to listen.
My advice falls into four categories:
Good
Not So Good
Funny
Serious
I try to keep most of my responses on the lighter side, unless the situation calls for a more serious tone.
Don't get pissed off and email me if you don't like what I have to say. I'm just having fun. |
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The thought of 'having a break' and us both getting other partners really upsets me. Any advice?
Q. Dear Cupid I've been with my boyfriend for just under 3 years and I love him very much. He makes me feel so special and we get on so well. I can see myself being with him forever, he works so hard I know he'd look after me and I know he'd be a g...
A. 7 March 2007: Could it be that your "friends" are jealous of your happiness? That would be my guess. Misery loves company, and I suspect they are really miserable because all they meet are creeps who want to get in their pants and then skate off.
Let your frie... (read in full...)
My friends all have the wrong idea about me because I gave a friend head 3 times!!!!
Q. Recently i gave my friend head three times and we kept it a secret. I really like him, hes very good looking but thats not just why. hes also my friends ex, so that wasnt good. any way it all came out this week, and im so imbarrased becau...
A. 6 March 2007: You say "it all came out this week". Somebody had to spill the beans. If you didn't leak it, that leaves one other person that knew about. . . your "friend", the recipient of your oral skills. Some friend, eh?
I suggest you find some new frie... (read in full...)
Whenever my boyfriend gets drunk or high he holds me down and forces me to have sex with him. Last night he choked me until I was unconscious... but I love him, it's not his fault.
Q. I have been going out with my boyfriend for 3 years and for the first 2 years things were going great but now he hits me whenever he gets drunk or high. Sometimes he even holds me down and forces me to have sex with him. I don't want to leave him ...
A. 6 March 2007: Nothing like justifying this jerk's behavior. Oh, he's drunk, he can't help himself. He choked me till I was unconscious but he didn't mean it. You need a reality check. There's a fine line between being choked to unconsciousness and being choked to ... (read in full...)
He has a disgusting habit of burping and farting and wants ME to do it too, he says it turns him on... is this normal?
Q. im feeling a bit confused coz my bf trys to make me pass wind through either burping or farting but i dont like to as it very unlady like. i burped in front of him once and he said it turned him on ever since he farts then ask me to do the same. is ...
A. 5 March 2007: Gee, I don't know if you could improve on this guy or not. All of the women I've ever dated said that's one thing they want in a guy . . . a farter. LOL.
This guy is real gem. A keeper. Once you get married, you can invite all of your friends and ... (read in full...)
I found 'Extenz' hidden in the cabinet but he lied to me about it. Why lie? What is he hiding?
Q. I've been married for thirteen years. My husband and I no longer have sex, or go out together. When we did have sex he needed Viagra, due to blood pressure problems. I found a product called "Extenz" hidden in the cabinet. Later, more came in ...
A. 5 March 2007: The only reason anyone would order Extenz is to pleasure women or a woman. The only reason he would lie about it is because that woman isn't you. Just a hunch. ... (read in full...)
She 's promiscuous, has a bf and we are close friends. How do I get her to date me?
Q. Hey. I am 16 years old, and I am in love with a girl that I am really close friends with. We dated for a while last year, and later on ended up having sex. The thing I am concerned about is something that happened about 3 weeks ago. I probably ...
A. 4 March 2007: You say that she is promiscuous, and that you've been with numerous other girls. It seems like the two of you are made for each other. 16 is pretty young to be so sexually active. I hope the two of you are aware of the consequences. Both of you ... (read in full...)
I think she has some issues in her past and needs a therapist? What do you all think?
Q. I dated this gal for about a month. at the time I really overlooked some odd things about her. No I'm not a glutton for punishment. Oddly enough I liked her but was cautious. She was a withdrawn person - not great social skills. Near the end of our ...
A. 3 March 2007: You sound like a friend of mine. He dated a woman for about a year who would do all sorts of weird things. Why he stayed around is beyond me. I think he thought he could help her. He couldn't'.
I told him the same thing I'll tell you . . . run. Run ... (read in full...)
My fiance went to the doctors for a check up. According to him this 'hot' female doctor smiled when she touched his penis! The nerve!
Q. Am I being unreasonable? My fiance told me that this summer (before we got together) he went to a female doctor to get things checked out down there and he said that she was hot and she put her hand around his thing and smiled. Just picturing it ...
A. 2 March 2007: I just want to know where this doctor is . . . I'm due for a check-up. LOL.... (read in full...)
Is it possible to love your soulmate, but not be in love with him !?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2.5 years. I guess some part of me thought that when I found THE one, when we kissed it would be like electricity coursing through my body. I asked him if he experience that, and he told me he did. I feel ...
A. 2 March 2007: I don't believe in "soulmates" but I do believe it is possible to love someone and not be "in love" with them.
You are 21 or under and have been tied to a relationship for 2 1/2 years so you may be feeling some wonder lust. Personally, I think you'... (read in full...)
Should I go ahead and get married despite the fact I might be in love with his friend!?
Q. iam a christian and have been going out with my boyfriend for a long time and we are now talking about marriage, but my problem is that i met this other guy whom i also like and we are just good friends but given time am sure it can develop into ...
A. 2 March 2007: What's the rush to get married? If you're unsure, you need to back off. . . regardless of this other person. You obviously don't feel that committed to the boyfriend or you wouldn't even have second thoughts. Marriage is supposed to be a life time ... (read in full...)
I don't think I have a clitoris (or if I do, it's in the wrong place!)
Q. I'm a 19 y/o female and a virgin. My new boyfriend is as well. we were both a little naive about sex and started doing some research. I've discovered something strange and unerving. I don't think i have a clitorus, and if i do it's on the wrong ...
A. 2 March 2007: Have you never been to an ob-gyn doctor? He/she should be able to tell, but I seriously doubt that you don't have one. That would be like a guy being born without a penis. LOL.... (read in full...)
My husband only wants to debate and talk about politics and world issues! It's driving me crazy! Ahhhh!
Q. Hello. I'm having a bit of a problem with my marriage. My husband doesn't stop debating and doesn't want to talk about anything other than current events. It's in his nature to debate everything - his father is the exact same way - that's just ...
A. 2 March 2007: Hi. You might want to print out the following prayer and post it somewhere in your house. It might do you both some good.
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom t... (read in full...)
I feel as if all these negative thoughts are ruining my life.
Q. i dont know what else to do. It all started a couple months ago all my friends were breaking up with their boyfriends and i started getting really passimistic and started asking myself dumb questions like "do i love him enough" and even started ...
A. 1 March 2007: It might pass on its own but don't count on it. You need to get help and therapy will help you. Having anxiety and negative thinking is no way to live.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
I've been depressed for quite a while now and I think it's rubbing off on my boyfriend. Am I asking too much of him?
Q. I've been dating the same guy for 3 years and I have been chronically depressed the whole time. It makes my boyfriend feel like he is helpless to make me happy and now that he is going through a bout of depression of his own he does not always have ...
A. 1 March 2007: You need to get some therapy and medication if you're not already doing so. He may want to join you at your next therapy session so he knows how to cope with you without falling into his own depression.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
Erm... I hoovered up my sister's hamster by mistake!!!! Do I get her another one without saying or do I come clean?
Q. ok now this may sound funny to some people (my friends have found it hilarious!!) but i feel so guilty! My sister turned 11 the other day and for her birthday my parents bought her a little hamster which she called Splodge (dont ask me why). ...
A. 1 March 2007: The fact that you sucked him up might not have killed him. Did you look in the sweeper bag to see if he may have survived the ordeal? I'd do that first. If he is no longer with the living, then I'd dispose him properly and then I'd buy her a new ... (read in full...)
How can I deal with the popular girls being so jealous of me?
Q. my friends say that i am very pretty and have a good figure my two best friends say all the popular girls are jealous of me because i have somthing they dont How can i deal with this ?...
A. 1 March 2007: Popularity isn't all that it's cracked up to be. Just be yourself and let the "popular girls" be jealous. Keep your head high and be proud of what God gave you. . . and don't let anybody bring you down.
Smile, and the world smiles with you. Cry,... (read in full...)
I would absolutely love to have a 3-some but how do I approach the wife about it?
Q. so...i kinda wanna have a threesome but how do i ask my wife if she wants to get involved? this could be a touchy area. i think it would be so hot to be with two girls but yeah asking the wife.......
A. 1 March 2007: I was going to add my 2 cents but I read Suorpio, and he pretty summed up what I was going to say. How would you react if your wife said she wanted to invite a man to join you? I think that will put the lid on your "hot" idea.
I've had thre... (read in full...)
I wrote for advice last year. This is an update on my age gap relationship.
Q. Just over a year ago, I wrote a question asking for help with an age gap relationship. Some of the people who offered their advice asked for an update, so here it is... We are still together- I'm almost 18, and he just turned 32. We've known ...
A. 1 March 2007: Wow, I didn't realize I was wasting away and going to bed early - LOL. I sleep about 5 hours a night, by the way.
I'll say this, I married someone 17 years my junior, and divorced 5 years later. We have a beautiful son together, and we're stil... (read in full...)
I had a brief affair with a married man, he's avoiding me now... how do I get him back?
Q. i am a 29 year old career woman, have known this guy for a few months, through work, ( i work in HQ level and he works in district level, and our department recently has been doing collaboration with him, which he is the developer and i am the ...
A. 1 March 2007: Miss Feline, good choice of names. Meeeoooowwww!
You were a one night stand (O.K., three night stand) of a married man, and now you get the short shrift. Did you really expect anything more? Lick your wounds and move on. There are lots of sing... (read in full...)
We flirt.. but how can I let my female cousin know I'm interested in her - and is she interested in me?
Q. I am a 25 year old male living with my very attractive 30 year old female cousin who I am very attracted to. We have much in common. She often brags about how sexy or alike we are but I am not sure if her intrest is sexual. Whats the best way to ...
A. 1 March 2007: First of all, she is your cousin. That is so wrong. . . no matter how attractive she is. If you can't get your mind off of her sexually, your best bet is to find a new roomy. ... (read in full...)
Can I still love my first love?
Q. I am married to a wonderful man whom I learned to love deeply. I was contacted by my first boyfriend (of 30 years ago)recently and saw him. I still love him. Can that be true?...
A. 1 March 2007: I think everyone has a warm spot in their heart for their first love. When you see them again after a long absence, you get that tingly feeling and you are suddenly tossed back in time to when you were first with them. It's almost like falling into ... (read in full...)
Planning on doing "it" tonight... but should I trim first?
Q. Im 14 and planning on having sex at a house party. It is my first time and I was just wondering if anyone knows if teenage boys prefer shaved or natural hairs? Please reply asap as the house party is tonight and I would like to know. so i can ...
A. 1 March 2007: So this is what goes on at house parties? I often wondered.
What ever happened to "Spin the Bottle" and "Post Office"?
Are the new games "Trim Your Bush", and "Deflower the Virgin"? LOL.
Exactly how many "boys" do you plan on giving a free ride?... (read in full...)
Worried that when he does hurt her, she'll come crawling back to me, and, being a gullible old fool, I'll take her back!
Q. I use an intenet chat service from time to time; I met a girl on there in September(ish) (virtually met) and we both agreed to go out on a date (this was in November). However, she said she couldn't get down (she lives in Yorkshire) because of work ...
A. 1 March 2007: You say that she is your "first girlfriend" (albeit a virtual girlfriend), and that you're 27? That says a lot. You're obsessed with this girl and now you say you're falling for another girl (the 17 year old) that is helping you through your pain? ... (read in full...)
My husband only wants to debate and talk about politics and world issues! It's driving me crazy! Ahhhh!
Q. Hello. I'm having a bit of a problem with my marriage. My husband doesn't stop debating and doesn't want to talk about anything other than current events. It's in his nature to debate everything - his father is the exact same way - that's just ...
A. 28 February 2007: 25? I figured he'd have to be at least in his 40's to have an interest in such worldly affairs. What did the two of you talk about for the 2 1/2 years that you dated? Didn't you have an inkling as to his personality before now?
It almost soun... (read in full...)
I feel like I should have been a more "dominant" male instead of treating her as an equal...
Q. I've screwed up I guess, I should have taken charge early on. I should have tried to take her in hand so to speak. I guess that I'm a bit naieve to be honest in that respect. I lost my father when I was 7yrs old, so didn't have a father figure. M...
A. 27 February 2007: I guess you're not writing for advice . . . just wanting to get something off your chest, eh?
Now you know. Women want a guy to take charge, be in control, and comfort them, all at the same time. Nobody wants a doormat . . . for long, anyway.
Go... (read in full...)
My husband only wants to debate and talk about politics and world issues! It's driving me crazy! Ahhhh!
Q. Hello. I'm having a bit of a problem with my marriage. My husband doesn't stop debating and doesn't want to talk about anything other than current events. It's in his nature to debate everything - his father is the exact same way - that's just ...
A. 27 February 2007: You say he has a job doing the exact same thing? Well, you could make a policy that he keeps his work at the office and that you don't want to discuss the world affairs at home. If he continues on his current path, tell him that he's boring you to ... (read in full...)
I lost my husband in December and don't know whether to get involved with an old flame? What should I do?
Q. In December, my husband whom I love very much, passed away suddenly and unexpectedly... We lived in another state, and I've since relocated back to my home town, where I'm staying with my parents for a couple more weeks before I move into my new h...
A. 27 February 2007: You say your husband understood you and your need to be with someone. Why is that? Why can't you be strong enough to live on your own without someone else? Nobody is born needy, they grow that way. You need to discover that you ARE capable of living ... (read in full...)
Help! I've just found out my boyfriend is using me.
Q. help i just found out my boyfriend is using me, he lives with his parents and i met him online he had me send him stuff all the time for him and his son thousands of dollars said he needed money needed toys for his son, he was doing without food. ...
A. 26 February 2007: You might consider pressing charges against this creep. He's probably feeding other women this same line of b.s. and if nobody reports him, he'll probably just keep on doing it.
Good luck.... (read in full...)
I lost my husband in December and don't know whether to get involved with an old flame? What should I do?
Q. In December, my husband whom I love very much, passed away suddenly and unexpectedly... We lived in another state, and I've since relocated back to my home town, where I'm staying with my parents for a couple more weeks before I move into my new h...
A. 26 February 2007: Your husband that you love (I noticed you didn't put that in the past tense) has been gone about 2 months and you're already messing around with a married man. That doesn't seem like enough time to grieve and it doesn't show much respect for your ... (read in full...)
How can I look more cool and with it? Any tips?
Q. I need help. I look crap. Every time I go out I always look like a real tool (I'm a guy by the way). I can't gel my hair properly, I have a crap dress sense. I look nerdy basically compared to the rest of my friends. Can anyone help, please?...
A. 26 February 2007: Get a copy of GQ and check out the men's apparel and hair styles. Try to emulate any model's look. Pick out a model who has a similar head shape and take the magazine with you the next time you get your hair styled. You'll be looking "GQ" before you ... (read in full...)
Why do guys have a habit of messing our heads up?
Q. Why do guys have a habit of messing our heads up? I constantly always have him my head, all the live long day. Its not fair- they are so confusing- they need to say how they feel- than use silence or expect us to mindread how they feel....
A. 25 February 2007: Men don't have the market cornered on head messing. Women are just as confusing. . . . ... (read in full...)
My husband has a horrible temper. I've told him we need to work on it and he doesn't take it seriously. I'm attacted to someone else now! Help!
Q. I've been married for just over a year. My husband has a very bad temper to the point where all he does is yell when something bothers him. I tell him he has to calm down, but he doesn't. He never wants to talk things through rationally. He just ...
A. 25 February 2007: I don't know how old you are, but you sound fairly young . . . maybe too young to be married? You also don't mention how long you dated before you married. If you got to know him better before you were married, you may have found out just how he was ... (read in full...)
She's getting married! I can't even imagine a future without her. Is there anything I can do to bring her back??
Q. I'm in love with a girl who was mine up until 8 months ago. At that time, because I was already in a relationship which is now ending - and because I was only in her town occasionally - she met a guy there and decided that she needed someone who was ...
A. 23 February 2007: You say she was "yours until 8 months ago", and you were already in a relationship with someone else? How was she yours at that time?
It appears from here that she decided to move on, and now, since your relationship has ended, you have deci... (read in full...)
I get along really well with this girl, I ask her out and she morphs into someone totally different!
Q. Everything's great until I ask her out and she morphs into someone completely different. I'm very confused. We chat, laugh...the usual. She's very friendly, nice and talkative. We're picking a restaurant with friends and in passing she tell...
A. 23 February 2007: You don't say how old you and your "friend" are but I'll assume you are both fairly young. Maybe she's uncomfortable in one on one situations and feels more at home in a group. Maybe she likes a free meal, but she's not that into you. Maybe she has ... (read in full...)
Am I in the wrong when he expects sex when we go to bed to sleep at midnight and I'm exhausted?
Q. Everytime i see my boyfriend its always late at night and when we go to bed around 12 he wants sex, but im just too tired to even think about sex and he throws a tantrum saying im boring and i make him feel uncomfortable in bed. Then we have sex in ...
A. 23 February 2007: Do you and your bf actually date, or does he show up to watch reruns of Benny Hill and for a "booty call"? By date, I mean, does he take you to the movies, dinner, dancing, any of those romantic things? Or does he just show up to get what he wants ... (read in full...)
Guys, how would you feel to be asked out??
Q. hi there..a question for all you guys??? how would you feel if a woman asked you out??? im 27 years old, met up with a guy , but not sure if he is interested...should i ask him out first? he seems shy though......
A. 22 February 2007: Pepper, here's a hint: What animal goes "BOW WOW"? ... (read in full...)
I can have sex with anybody but my wife!!
Q. Married with my wife for 5 years now but lately cannot have sex with her. I love her very much though. I can have sex with everybody else except her. The penis wont help me...sometimes even it does help but half down - it just dies down. I dont wa...
A. 22 February 2007: Which came first, the cheating or the lack of interest? If the cheating started first, then it may be that you feel guilty. Also, if you eliminate the cheating, Mr. Penis will be more apt to stand at attention if he knows there is only one way he's ... (read in full...)
Has he had a change of heart??
Q. My ex broke up with me after four months of our relationship.It was very unexpected and it hurt me really bad. He is 22 and i am 24. He said he was too young to be in a relationship and yada yada. Well i slept with him right after our breakup ...
A. 22 February 2007: I'm all confused too. He may be just as he says, "Too young to be in a relationship" or too immature, take your pick.
He may just be keeping the lines of communication open with you, just in case he wants to be with you (on a sexual basis prob... (read in full...)
Guys, how would you feel to be asked out??
Q. hi there..a question for all you guys??? how would you feel if a woman asked you out??? im 27 years old, met up with a guy , but not sure if he is interested...should i ask him out first? he seems shy though......
A. 22 February 2007: I'd be flattered if a beautiful woman asked me out. Now, if she was a real bow-wow, I'd be a little less flattered. LOL. You'll definitely find out if he's interested in you or not.
Go for it!... (read in full...)
We broke up 5 months ago, am I stupid to wait on him?
Q. My boyfriend broke up with me at the end of this summer after 10 months, I didn't want to break up, but he said that he couldn't be in serious relationship at this point in his life (we are both 20), he still loves me and still wants me in his life ...
A. 22 February 2007: He is probably fine with all of those things you do together because there are no strings attached. You've probably heard the expression, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free"? Well, he's getting his milk whenever he needs it 'cause ... (read in full...)
He likes me a lot but I am thinking...is he "too keen too soon'? What do you all think?
Q. Hello I'm 33, female and single! Have had so many ups and downs in relationships - tend to always attract the "bad boys"..... Anyway, have just met a nice man via online dating....and he ticks so many boxes in terms of what I want in a relat...
A. 22 February 2007: He was in a relationship since he was 18 so he probably misses having someone at his side. If you have concerns about too much too soon, tell him. Otherwise, he'll probably keep on charging.
Good luck! ... (read in full...)
Worried that when he does hurt her, she'll come crawling back to me, and, being a gullible old fool, I'll take her back!
Q. I use an intenet chat service from time to time; I met a girl on there in September(ish) (virtually met) and we both agreed to go out on a date (this was in November). However, she said she couldn't get down (she lives in Yorkshire) because of work ...
A. 29 January 2007: Am I reading this right, you've never actually met this person face to face? How can you say you've fallen in love? You've invested way too much emotion into this "relationship". If she came crawling back to you, how would you know it was her, if ... (read in full...)
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