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... Send *onungalungb a private message | | | *onungalungb's profile:I'm currently single, with an 8 year old son. I've lived a fairly interesting life and have a fair amount of experience in relationships to offer advice to anyone that cares to listen.
My advice falls into four categories:
Good
Not So Good
Funny
Serious
I try to keep most of my responses on the lighter side, unless the situation calls for a more serious tone.
Don't get pissed off and email me if you don't like what I have to say. I'm just having fun. |
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He likes me a lot but I am thinking...is he "too keen too soon'? What do you all think?
Q. Hello I'm 33, female and single! Have had so many ups and downs in relationships - tend to always attract the "bad boys"..... Anyway, have just met a nice man via online dating....and he ticks so many boxes in terms of what I want in a relat...
A. 22 February 2007: He was in a relationship since he was 18 so he probably misses having someone at his side. If you have concerns about too much too soon, tell him. Otherwise, he'll probably keep on charging.
Good luck! ... (read in full...)
I think my ex has a brother I was never told about. I want to know for my son's sake. I don't want to upset anyone, so what should I do?
Q. I was looking into my ex husband's family tree for my son. I found a photograph of a teenage boy with the exact same surname as my ex husband and looking like him exactly. The looks are very distinctive and singular. My son thought it was h...
A. 21 February 2007: Is it possible that the photo is one of your ex-husband when he was younger?
I wouldn't make a big deal out of it, one way or the other. ... (read in full...)
What are the signs to look for when you think your boyfriend is gay?
Q. hi i need some help i think my boyfriend turning gay is there any signs to look for?...
A. 21 February 2007: Here's a web site that might help:
http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take... (read in full...)
Why do things seem to be too big to others, that seem to be quite normal and not a big deal for me?
Q. Why do things seem to be too big to others, that seem to be quite normal and not a big deal for me. Infact i am looking forward for those things when others feel dreadful and nervous about it. As an example, when i was going for a job out of my ...
A. 21 February 2007: Some people fear the unknowwn and they assume that everyone else does too. Your parents are probably just trying to protect you from the great unknown world . . . which is what parents do. Keep being optimistic and live your life to the fullest.
G... (read in full...)
Please define "the marrying type?"
Q. i was recently talking to a friend and she said she was no longer engaged as her bloke admitted he wasnt the marrying type,what is the marrying type exactly?as im a little puzzled...
A. 21 February 2007: The marrying type is just like it sounds, someone that wants to be married, settled down, raising a family, etc. Someone that is not the marrying type still wants to date a variety of people and have no family responsibilities.... (read in full...)
Is it possible for your soulmate to be married to someone else?
Q. Do you believe it is possible for your soulmate to be married to someone else? I believe mine is married to someone else (for about 10-12 years now). He has told me he loves me (and I him) but he hasn't mentioned he would divorce his wife, so of ...
A. 20 February 2007: I'm with Jovial. I don't get this "soul mate" thing either.
I'll repeat my "soul mate" story: My ex-wife moved 1800 miles to be with her "soul mate". He beat her up and tried to drown her. All "soul mates' aren't created equal.
Go find someone ... (read in full...)
Where can I get information on muscle wasting disease? My boyfriend's son (8) has it and he's so distraught about it.
Q. Hi everyone, I don't know where or how to start here, I'm with my boyfriend just over a year and found out that my his son (who's 8) has got this muscle wasting disease that he got from his mother and her brother died from it when he was only 15! ...
A. 20 February 2007: Lou Gehrig's Disease (ALS) normally effects people over 40. So I doubt that's what this child has. My father was diagnosed with it at age 67, which is fairly late in life.
... (read in full...)
He keeps oggling women with big breasts, jerks off then says he has a low sex drive!!!
Q. My boyfriend and I have lived together for over a year and he has oggled women with big breasts on more than one occasion surreptitiously(in front of me). He tells me size doesn't matter, yet he never touches my breasts. He plays peep-eye with other ...
A. 20 February 2007: This guy is in his 50's and he's jerkin' his gerkin in restaurant washrooms after seeing big breasted women? Sounds kind of creepy. Check that. Make that real creepy.
I'd seek my pleasure elsewhere if I were you. ... (read in full...)
Where can I get information on muscle wasting disease? My boyfriend's son (8) has it and he's so distraught about it.
Q. Hi everyone, I don't know where or how to start here, I'm with my boyfriend just over a year and found out that my his son (who's 8) has got this muscle wasting disease that he got from his mother and her brother died from it when he was only 15! ...
A. 19 February 2007: Hi. I'm not sure which disorder you mean but I've included a link that lists several syndromes and diseases. I hope it helps. Once you have the name, google it and you should be able to find out all you need to know.
http:... (read in full...)
I don't know what to do any more, what can I do to get her back?
Q. Hey, my ex and i broke up on valentines with me, we decided to take a break a couple of weeks back, in which we siad we would see anyone else. During the break she cheated on me with 3 guys, i was devestated as i loved her with all my heart. Yet she ...
A. 19 February 2007: You don't do anything to get her back. You go live your life and let her figure out what it is she wants in life. Break complete contact with her. If she comes crawling on her hands in knees, don't take her back. Tell her you already gave her one ... (read in full...)
I know we have no future together and I have broken it off with him but HOW do I move on?
Q. I'm 40yrs old and for the past 2.5yrs I have been seeing a married man whose 38, has 3 kids (10,13,17 - there abouts)and from what he has told me, happy in his marriage. This is an area that he really doesn't talk about nor wishes to discuss. We ...
A. 19 February 2007: I think you know what you should do, but your emotions are keeping you coming back for more. It's the thrill of the chase. It's the rush of adrenalin from doing something you know is wrong. It's addictive.
The only way to stop this addiction is t... (read in full...)
He doesnt get an erection when we kiss, does he not fancy me!?
Q. hi. i have heard so many times that a lot of boys get erections while kissing and hugging there gf's. well im 16 and so is my bf. we have been together for roughly a month and a half and he has never had an erection when we have kissed and hugged! ...
A. 19 February 2007: Yesterday, the question was why does my 16 year-old boyfriend get a hard on, and today it's why doesn't my 16 year-old boyfriend get a hard on. LOL.
Although some guys can get a hard on at the drop of hat, some guys don't. That's just their phys... (read in full...)
It was always rocky with us, but now its over for good! What can I do to get him back if hes not speaking to me!?
Q. I was seeing a guy for almost two years, I am 25 he is 29, and it was always a rocky relationship. We were crazy about each other and had such passion, but we couldnt seem to make it work - he says he couldnt trust me and for that reason he kept ...
A. 19 February 2007: It sounds like he is very insecure and distrustful of you, and maybe of women in general. If you get him back, how will that change? I would suggest counseling for both of you. His lack of trust needs to be addressed or you're going to continue to ... (read in full...)
He has cheated on me throughout our relationship and now I'm really nasty to him and I don't want to be anymore!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. Throughout our relationship he has cheated on me which has caused me to act and feel nasty. I am very nasty and now our relationship has gone dry. We hardly have sex anymore and there is no love shown. We ...
A. 19 February 2007: You are 21 and have been in a relationship for 5 years. Maybe it is time you spend some time on your own and explore the world of being single. I'm not saying your relationship isn't worth saving, but you might have a new outlook on it if you spend ... (read in full...)
My friend and I kiss and everytime he gets an erection! What does this mean?!
Q. Dear cupid, i see a good friend of mine quite regularly and its more like friends with benifits really coz we kiss and stuff like that, but every time we kiss or even hug he gets a full on erection! what does this mean? is it normal for guys to ...
A. 18 February 2007: When you say you're "friends with benefits", what kind of "stuff like that" are you talking about? Every time I hear that expression, I think of friends that sleep (have sex) together. If that's the kind of benefits you're referring to, you should ... (read in full...)
Have I scared him off already??
Q. Ok...last night n this club i met this amazing and great lookin guy (im 18 hes 25) i very rarely feel a connection with someone but with him i did. We instantly clicked. He was sayin that he could imagine himself with someone like me. I was kind...
A. 18 February 2007: Quick, somebody check on Kenny. I think he's passed out with his finger on the "Add Your Answer" button. LOL.... (read in full...)
How do I go about seeing my soul mate??
Q. Earlier I asked for advice on whether I should see my soul mate after twenty years! I tried to explain why I NEED to do this in detail ...... I have considered all your advice. And thank you so much for taking the trouble to help me! Because I ...
A. 18 February 2007: Your last letter was apparently just to give you some moral support to justify your intentions of meeting this guy. Since most of the responders told you to forget about him, you obviously didn't need advice, just reinforcement to follow up on your ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend stopped liking sex, out of the blue!
Q. ok heres my problem.. about a year or so ago my girlfriend just stopped liking sex out of nowhere, and not just intercourse either, at the same time she stopped liking giving and/or receiving oral sex and weve talked about it and neither of us know ...
A. 18 February 2007: My advice would be to give her some room. If she's feeling violated, something is wrong. Maybe something from her past? Maybe she has religious and/or moral convictions that she feels are being compromised? If she's doing something she really ... (read in full...)
We had a disagreement and he's been gone a week! Why is he doing this?
Q. I have been with my fella for 3 years now (I am 37 and he is 40). A week ago today we had a disagreement, we don't really argue, but my fella does tend to go off and will sulk and maybe not speak for a few days? We do not live together. Anyway, I ...
A. 18 February 2007: You say he likes to sulk and not speak for days. It sounds par for the course for him then.
He may need time to re-evaluate his relationship with you, which will give you time to re-evaluate your relationship with him.
If it's bothering you so m... (read in full...)
I'm 17, he's 57 and married! Do you think he's using me or will he ever leave his wife?
Q. Am 17 and i have been going with a 57 year old married man for 6 months. We really love each other to bits, but i feel that he is never going to leave his wife for me! He says all the time that he wishes he doesnt have to leave me when hes going ...
A. 18 February 2007: Wow! That's a pretty big age difference. How in the world did you get hooked up with someone 40 years older than you? And married t' boot? What the hell is HE thinking? What he's doing is criminal in a lot of places.
I'd say to most people, "Wak... (read in full...)
Do I bring up how I feel about him or do I leave it unsaid because of the distance?
Q. Well I am back again with another problem. I recently broke it off with my boyfriend of 3years. The problem Im having now is with one of my close friends who Ive been talking to online for the past 6 years. (im now 23 and hes 24) He and I were ...
A. 18 February 2007: I'd say leave it alone for now. Since he's going away, there's no sense in getting tied down with someone you're not going to see. Go out and play the field. If your guy and you are still available after a year, then take it from there.
Good luck... (read in full...)
I have an embarrassing question... is my penis normal?
Q. hi i have an embarrasing issue, recently i have been watching pornography and have seem that my penis is diffrent. the top of mine is like floopy skin but on the videos it is hard is this normal? ...
A. 18 February 2007: I'm not sure, but you may be looking at the difference between uncircumcized and circumcized. If you have "floppy skin", you are uncircumcized. ... (read in full...)
My fiance posted a home video of me on a hard core porn site and when i found it it had 18554
Q. I dont know what to do, just after xmas my fiance posted a home video of me on a hard core porn site and when i found it it had 18554 hits i felt totally disgusted he showed no real remorse !just said he was proud of me !! I also found out that he ...
A. 18 February 2007: This is called invasion of privacy. You could have him arrested in The States.
Lose this creep.... (read in full...)
He asked me out to dinner and spent half the night talking about his ex gf! What's up with this guy?
Q. I went out to dinner with an ex boyfriend last night after he asked me out. He split from his girlfriend over 4 months ago but he spent possibly half the night talking about her - he even showed me a picture of her. I found this to be extremely ...
A. 16 February 2007: It sounds like he was jilted by his ex and wanted some company. Anyone that discusses past romances on a date is a real bore.
It's time for you to find someone new, and not rehash an old fling.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
Why she is finding it hard to leave a relationship where there is no love, intimacy and no respect and lots of head games
Q. I met my Girlfirend over the internet she has been married for 7 years for the last 5 years her marriage has been dead and love has been replaced neglect and verbally abuse and other forms of abuse i would rather not say. We met 6 months ago 4 mo...
A. 16 February 2007: You say they there are no "head games" in your relationship with her. Au contraire, mon frair (I hope you're French Canadian, LOL), but she could be playing you like a fiddle. She's telling you one thing, and probably telling her husband something ... (read in full...)
Wanted: Your feedback and ideas for DearCupid... !
Q. Hi I'm looking for your feedback and ideas for DearCupid. Either reply to this thread or send me a private mail :-) Got an idea for a new feature? Want to tell me what works well? What's not up to scratch? If you're in the UK hope you're n...
A. 16 February 2007: I don't know if this has been answered or not, but I see a lot of variations on the same questions, i.e., "How do I mend my broken heart?", "How do I know if my spouse is cheating?", "How long should my penis be?" LOL, etc., etc.
Is there a "Top... (read in full...)
I would rather find out that he no longer cared for me than suffer in this limbo.
Q. Hello Readers, I am desperately in need of your advice. In particular I would appreciate input from people who have experienced meeting their "soul mate" and you can't understand what this is like unless you have been through it. By that I mean hav...
A. 16 February 2007: My ex-wife met her "soul mate" and moved 1800 miles away to be with him. He beat her up and tried to drown her. Not all "soul mates" are created equal, eh? ... (read in full...)
After his climax, he's dressed and ready to go out for food! What about my needs?!?!
Q. It's like it's all about him! How can I make him see I have needs, too? My boyfriend and I are really close. We've been together for a year, but after the first five months of having sex (It's month nine and a half), he kind of lost interest in...
A. 16 February 2007: Sure, you thank Juliette and Heather. What, it doesn't sound good coming from a guy? They wrote the same thing I did (plus I wrote it first) and I didn't have to write a book to get my point across. LOL. ... (read in full...)
After his climax, he's dressed and ready to go out for food! What about my needs?!?!
Q. It's like it's all about him! How can I make him see I have needs, too? My boyfriend and I are really close. We've been together for a year, but after the first five months of having sex (It's month nine and a half), he kind of lost interest in...
A. 15 February 2007: How about this:
Why don't you tell him that you want "finished up" first. Then you'll take care of him. Ask and ye shall receive. If he's not willing to take care of you, tell him you'll find someone that will.
You can tell him Ponungal... (read in full...)
I found an old dating site profile of my gf - Is it inappropriate to bring up? I found it funny!
Q. Going through my old email messages I was searching for email my girlfriend once sent me with a phrase she uses for herself. I accidently hit the search web tab in Gmail and it came up with an old profile she had on a matchmaking site. At first I ...
A. 15 February 2007: I think you'd probably be better served by just forgetting about it. Some things are better left alone. . . and I think this is one of them. She may not find the humor in your snooping.... (read in full...)
I'm getting married next week and have no idea what my husband to be can write for a speech (I said I would help him) Any ideas?
Q. Hi there,you may remember me from my last post, about how to organise a wedding cheaply, and before our baby is born! Well the big day is next Sat 24th February, and I need help for my future husbands speech! He is not one for talking in public so I ...
A. 15 February 2007: Here's a script:
"Thank you for coming to our wedding. . . this is the happiest day of my life . . . now, lets eat cake!"
Short and sweet.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
She has done oral sex and I am against that. Should I still date her?
Q. Hello everyone. I am dating this girl,who show a lot of interest in me,and she is good looking the problem is that she has told me that she has done oral sex once in her past, the thing is I am against oral sex practice. Should I continue to date ...
A. 15 February 2007: I'm curious as to how the topic was brought up. None of the women I've dated in my ____ years of dating have ever said to me, "Ponungalung, I want you to know that I gave one guy a blow job." If you asked and she offered, shame on you for asking.
Y... (read in full...)
I would rather find out that he no longer cared for me than suffer in this limbo.
Q. Hello Readers, I am desperately in need of your advice. In particular I would appreciate input from people who have experienced meeting their "soul mate" and you can't understand what this is like unless you have been through it. By that I mean hav...
A. 15 February 2007: Life is full of choices and decisions. You chose to break up with your "soul mate" 20 years ago. He chose to get married. You chose to get married. He chose to father a baby in the midst of conversing with you. He said he was happy. At that moment, ... (read in full...)
I hired a PI and found out my wife had cheated. I want to forgive her but how can we move on?
Q. I am a man who adores his wife of 6 years. I am not at all a jealous man, and I see the world in shades of grey, which means I consider why, not just what. 2006 was a bad year, misunderstandings all year long. To keep this short: 1)I have...
A. 15 February 2007: As you point out by the fact that she won't discuss the situation, there is a lack of communication here.
I think you need to find out what it is she wants from her relationship with you. If she wants someone else, she needs to tell you. If she'... (read in full...)
Im 15 and pregnant, the father is 18, would he go to jail if I put his name on the birth certificate ?
Q. Im 15 years old and im 3 weeks pregnant. but the father is 18 can he go to jail if i tell my mom. or put his name on the birth cirtificate...
A. 15 February 2007: Nobody is going to jail, unless he forced himself on you. Talk to your parents and discuss your options. If your parents aren't reasonable people, talk to your pastor or a teacher you can confide in.
Best wishes. ... (read in full...)
Will women only be interested if i talk in a certain way??
Q. I am a single guy and find it difficult to engage myself in a conversation that is either not romantic or one trying to please the other person. This is especially true about conversations with the opposite sex. What i believe is there is a ...
A. 15 February 2007: It seems like you've put an awful lot of thought into this topic. Maybe too much. What's wrong with being yourself? If you feel like flirting, flirt. If you feel like talking serious, talk serious. I think the time and place dictate the type of ... (read in full...)
Will our different values drive us apart???
Q. My boyfriend is a white supremicist. I am white but i have a very diverse family (my aunt, from my grandpa's first wife, is half black and he also has a son who is half mexican). He tells me he doesnt mind because he loves me and some of my famil...
A. 15 February 2007: Relationships are hard enough when two people have the same values and beliefs. When you mix in bigotry and hatred from the get-go, you have a real uphill climb.
All I can say is good luck.
BTW, it's "mighty white" of him to love you in spite of... (read in full...)
She called me by the ex's name, does this mean she isnt over him !??
Q. i am in my second marriage. we've been married for two months now. both of us were previously married. on valentines morning, she referred to me by her ex-husbands name. i feel hurt and cheated on. some advice please, as i think that she may not be ...
A. 15 February 2007: She's guilty of a mere slip of the tongue. I think everyone, once they reach 25, has made the same mistake at least once in their life. I remember my parents calling me my brothers' names, and vice-versa. I've been called former husband's names, ... (read in full...)
Here is my list of the "perfect" boyfriend! What do you think?
Q. Here is my list of the perfect boyfriend. Are there any men like this? 1. Shares all email and IM passwords 2. Has none, or only one, female friend 3. Tell's me when his only female friend calls 4. Tell's me when he goes basically anywher...
A. 14 February 2007: This is a guy asking this? If so, why would you be concerned with your boyfriend having any female friends?
I don't get it. . . . ... (read in full...)
What do I do? I'm new in the office, should I make the first move and ask him out?
Q. I like this guy that i'm working with at the office so i like him a lot and it looks like he likes me too but there's lots of tension in the office i don't know why theres lots of girls who will feel like who is she to have just arrived and got ...
A. 14 February 2007: You say there's tension in the office. Could it be that one of your co-workers is involved with him. . . or maybe they know something about him that you don't?
Have you made any friends with any of the females in your office? They may be able to h... (read in full...)
Do I send roses?
Q. Do I send Roses? I met a lady in 2002, we lived together for 4 years. In January last year she left me and we have seen little of each other since, however we had a good meeting yesterday for coffee. She told me then she has a new boyfriend (I do ...
A. 14 February 2007: I think I'd save the dosh and send an email valentine. Roses might be a little over-the-top at this juncture. She'll know you're interested if you just send a greeting card valentine (and don't get mushy with it). If she's interested, she'll follow ... (read in full...)
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