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... Send *onungalungb a private message | | | *onungalungb's profile:I'm currently single, with an 8 year old son. I've lived a fairly interesting life and have a fair amount of experience in relationships to offer advice to anyone that cares to listen.
My advice falls into four categories:
Good
Not So Good
Funny
Serious
I try to keep most of my responses on the lighter side, unless the situation calls for a more serious tone.
Don't get pissed off and email me if you don't like what I have to say. I'm just having fun. |
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Love at first sight...but I never got in touch!!
Q. What are you supposed to do when you've fallen in love with someone you've never "officialy" met? I'm a shy person, i never act on my feelings, and it always ends up eating me up inside... i don't want to be like that anymore, i want to change. I...
A. 26 January 2007: A faint heart never won a fair maiden. In your case the roles are reversed. LOL. You need to lose the shyness and just talk to him. Pretend he is your cousin or brother or someone you already know. If you can approach him with confidence, he will be ... (read in full...)
How can I go from A to B?
Q. i like this girl right..lets name her A.. ok ive gone out with her for the past month or so. i really liked her. i mean REALLY really, loved her she seemd like the perfect person. Unfortunatly there is this other girl..named B..haha i got to know ...
A. 26 January 2007: The best advice I can give is to be honest with A. Explain to her that you really care for her as a friend and that your feelings aren't any more than that. Just be honest. Hopefully, she'll understand and you can remain friends.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
I just want to know, what is love?
Q. I just want to know, what is love? I am sorry if this may sound like obvious to many people, but I don’t know any more what love means. I lost hope of love!! I thought I did know that, when I spent close to 2 years with my ex-partner, even...
A. 26 January 2007: It sounds like you know what love is because you gave it. She, on the other hand, is a user. Users aren't lovers. They manipulate people to get what they need in life. They exist in a tiny shell of a world that evolves around them. You only gave of ... (read in full...)
I don't get enough sex. Is it because I am too easy-going?
Q. My b/f and I have been together about a year and we do lots of things together, hang out, watch movies, go shopping, work on the house together. But sometimes I realize that he doesn't hold my hand, or look at me in a sexual way. We have sex, but ...
A. 26 January 2007: You might try ignoring his advances (if there are any) and just see how long he will go without coming on to you. Act like you aren't interested in sex with him. You may just be like the comfortable old shoe, pardon the analogy, but he might just be ... (read in full...)
His youngest daughter is four years older than me... Would it be a huge mistake to sleep with this man?
Q. I'm a 17 year old high school student, and for the past three years I've been having a relationship with the 46 year old Head of Security at my high school. It started out as a friendship, and grew to be much, much more. I would like to stress that ...
A. 25 January 2007: I agree with Mel, except for the old guy part - I resemble that remark, LOL. You have been associating with an individual who has misused his position of authority. He has overstepped his bounds already by kissing you and by ingratiating himself ... (read in full...)
My brother is abusive and stresses out our family. My parents don't deserve this - what can be done??
Q. My problem is too complicated to explain here, so I've simplified it a bit... I'm 17, my brother in 14. He is out of control. He gets in trouble with the police, he grafittis, he has been expelled from school, and he's just generally abusiv...
A. 24 January 2007: I don't know what kind of programs they have in your country, but in the U.S., they have boot camps for kids that are out of control. You might be able to arrange for him to be sent to one of these places for a while to straighten him out.
S... (read in full...)
He used to stare at and be obsessed w/ me - now he ignores me! What happened?
Q. hi,i'm a 17 year old girl with a big dilemma about a guy. well,last year i started my first year of college and in my history and law lectures there was this guy who used to stare at me. he was seriously sexy in an intense way but all the girls ...
A. 24 January 2007: The guy might be the reincarnation of Ted Bundy, so you better be careful. LOL.
It sounds to me that you two are playing a game of cat and mouse. One is interested, and the other isn't. Then it's vice-versa. You say you think he could be a guy in l... (read in full...)
She doesn't pay me much attentions anymore and I don't want to lose her. What should I do?
Q. I have a huge problem ! OK, me and my girlfriend are going on 6 months with each other. in the beginning thing were great. We hung out more we talked more and our love life was good. but recently she has taken things down a few notches and ...
A. 24 January 2007: It seems like you're the only one in this relationship. You say you are afraid to break up with her because you love her. Love is a two way street. It's tough to love someone when they don't love back.
I'd give her some space and see what happ... (read in full...)
I've got this girl's number but I'm scared to call her! I don't know what to say. Please help me!
Q. Well, the other night at a concert i got this girls number and have yet to call her. i mean i like her and all, she is an awesome girl, but i don't know if she likes me back, you know wat i mean. i asked for it and she gave it to me. but i dont know ...
A. 24 January 2007: The fact that she gave you her number indicates that she is at least remotely interested. If she told you to get lost, then you would know where she stands.
My best advice is to try and be yourself. Hopefully, you're not a serial killer. LOL.
Th... (read in full...)
My ex gf has moved on, she wants me to leave her alone. It hurts so bad! Help!
Q. me and my girlfriend broke up recently after 11 months, we fought a lot, bt we always seemed to make up. We both did things we weren't proud of, but recently she decided she wanted it to be over. She went out within a few days and has already kissed ...
A. 24 January 2007: You do as she asks . . . leave her alone.
Obviously, things weren't great to begin with or you wouldn't have "fought a lot." You say you have "tried to get her back." I'm not sure what that technique involves, but it's next to impossible to chan... (read in full...)
Gf left me for someone she just met! What can I do?
Q. What can i do when my girlfriend of 6years leaves me for someone whom she just met??...
A. 24 January 2007: You have a couple of choices:
1) Go meet someone new.
2) Sit at home and wait for their return.
I'd select choice number 1 myself.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
I'm 13 and this guy wants me to give him a blowjob. I agreed to this because I'm in love with him. What shall I do now?
Q. Hey, I really like this boy and he really likes me, He asked me to give him a blowjob next weekend and I said yes, he wants to do more than that and i said maybe. I love him sooo much and he said he really likes me but hes got a girlfriend. What ...
A. 24 January 2007: This guy is just trying to use you. Don't give in to his line of b.s. Here's a little test for you:
Tell him you've changed your mind and have decided to save yourself for marriage. I imagine you'll see his true colors when those words come out ... (read in full...)
Ashamed of my sexual past and he insists on knowing it all! Plus he calls me ugly names! What should I do?
Q. OBSESSION ABOUT SEXUAL PAST? I became involved with a married man 7 years ago. He was divorced in summer ‘06; separated in spring ‘05. 5 1/2 years of the 7 years was long-distance and he often sent mixed signals (duh, he was married.) The a...
A. 24 January 2007: I agree with a lot of what WillyWombat says. To me it looks like you want to justify his behavior. You're so used to being made to feel inferior that you sympathize with the person most guilty of inflicting the feelings of inferiority on you. Kind ... (read in full...)
When I say no to anal sex, he gets in a bad mood! I don't want us to break up over this...help!
Q. I've been dating this guy for three weeks now, he's 19 and I'm only 16 so when it comes to sex i already feel as though i don't know enough and it makes me feel inferior. We have a very sexually active relationship, we can't seem to keep our hands ...
A. 23 January 2007: In most U.S. states, a 19 year old having sex with a 16 year old is statutory rape. It sounds like he wants to use you as his personal sex toy. Lose this creep. ... (read in full...)
Ashamed of my sexual past and he insists on knowing it all! Plus he calls me ugly names! What should I do?
Q. OBSESSION ABOUT SEXUAL PAST? I became involved with a married man 7 years ago. He was divorced in summer ‘06; separated in spring ‘05. 5 1/2 years of the 7 years was long-distance and he often sent mixed signals (duh, he was married.) The a...
A. 22 January 2007: "The intensity of his reaction shows the intensity of his love." Interrogating, hypnotizing, and brow beating someone shows something to me, which sure doesn't fall into the guidelines of love. To me, the intensity of his reaction shows insecurity, ... (read in full...)
Ashamed of my sexual past and he insists on knowing it all! Plus he calls me ugly names! What should I do?
Q. OBSESSION ABOUT SEXUAL PAST? I became involved with a married man 7 years ago. He was divorced in summer ‘06; separated in spring ‘05. 5 1/2 years of the 7 years was long-distance and he often sent mixed signals (duh, he was married.) The a...
A. 22 January 2007: I don't think you should see a hypnotist. He needs to see a shrink. Your past is just that YOUR past. Who is he the virgin queen? This guy has too many problems. You need to find someone that loves you for you. As you are. You need to move on.
... (read in full...)
Just engaged and now he's planning a for an extended holiday with buddies. Im' hurt! Any advice?
Q. I just got engaged last month, and I always knew that my fiance was planning on going to Florida with his friends in the month of March, but now it is extended to Feb. also because he's buying a golf cart to drive around. I'm coming to visit him on ...
A. 22 January 2007: Is it possible that the reason he got engaged before the trip was to put a sort of chastity belt on you, while he knew that he would be free as a bird on his Florida fling?
Tell him you're going to be going out dancing and having fun while he's... (read in full...)
Sexually, I don't get wet with my boyfriend like I did with my lover. What do I do?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years now. I love him and want to be with him the rest of my life. He's still in Law School and I found a job in another city 7 hours away. We don't see each other much because of the distance, expenses to ...
A. 22 January 2007: I think you probably have a good deal of guilt whenever you're with your "boyfriend". Or you're really not in love with him. Maybe you just see dollar signs before your eyes when the day comes when he becomes the next Perry Mason? Who knows? Only ... (read in full...)
My husband of 10years doens't want sex anymore. What can I do?
Q. I have been in a relationship for 20yrs married for 10 havent had sex for 6yrs when i question my husband he says there is nothing wrong, he won't see a marriage guidance counceler and i'm at my wits end. what do i do?...
A. 22 January 2007: Maybe he has been having sex in the last 6 years. . . which would explain why he wouldn't see anything wrong.
Obviously, there IS something wrong. Tell him it's time to get counseling or you're going to see a lawyer. You need to light a fire unde... (read in full...)
Ideas needed for an awesome Superbowl Party! Any tips?
Q. I need ideas on hosting an awesome Superbowl Party. Last night our house was picked to host the superbowl party. All the "guys" and 1 other girl (another wife lol) have asked for the day off. We should be expecting 10-20 ppl in our house and I've...
A. 21 January 2007: Since you are supplying the house, your guests should provide the grub. That's a common practice in my neck of the woods.
Beer, chips, pretzels, pizza, and a nice baked ham for making sandwiches are always good.
You can decorate using the colo... (read in full...)
During sex..wife get headaches and feels like she's having a heart attack! What can we do?
Q. my wife feels like she is having a heart attack and gets a severe headache every time she gets really aroused during sex. what can we do? ...
A. 21 January 2007: Have you tried explaining this to a doctor? That would be my first approach. It could be a number of things. Better get it checked out.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
I'm 21 and married! But My mind tells me I'me too young and missing out! What should I do?
Q. Hi. I am 21, and have been married nearly a year now to the first love of my life, whom I met when I was 15! I have always had eyes for her and only her - until three months ago my mind told me that I was too young and missing out! I have me...
A. 21 January 2007: Stay with your wife.
The grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence. You shared a sacred vow to be faithful to your wife. It's easy to be unfaithful. . . and much harder to be a person of integrity. ... (read in full...)
Bf is concerned that if I get braces-I will look ugly and not be able to give him blowjobs! Any advice for me?
Q. Can I still give a blowjob if I get braces? I'm thinking of getting one, but my bf wouldn't want me to because he says it will make me look ugly and I might not be able to give him blowjobs because it might hurt the both of us. I wonder if I would ...
A. 21 January 2007: I'd ask your orthodontist. He/she would probably be able to tell you if braces interfere with blowjobs. LOL.
If your orthodontist thinks they are necessary, get the braces. They can prevent overcrowding and other dental problems in the future. Your... (read in full...)
Do I risk looking like a fool and tell him..I want a 'proper' relationship?
Q. Been separated for nearly 5 years now, had a few bad relationships since. For over a year now I'be been seeing a guy for 'casual sex'. We did date about two years ago but he ended it. We live in a small village and see each other most days in the ...
A. 21 January 2007: It should read "closed doors" not "clothes doors". I had a late night. LOL. ... (read in full...)
Do I risk looking like a fool and tell him..I want a 'proper' relationship?
Q. Been separated for nearly 5 years now, had a few bad relationships since. For over a year now I'be been seeing a guy for 'casual sex'. We did date about two years ago but he ended it. We live in a small village and see each other most days in the ...
A. 21 January 2007: If you're tired of dating behind clothes doors, then you need to make it clear. As it stands right now, he doesn't need to buy a cow 'cause he gets his milk for free.
If you lose him over your desire to have a "proper relationship", you have... (read in full...)
I'm 14 and having Quads ..please help !
Q. i was with my boyfriend daniel for 1 year. and last year when i was 13 we decided to have sex. we used the pull-out method but it obviously didn't work. i kept on being sick so dad took me to the doctors. that was when they told me that i was ...
A. 20 January 2007: Hi Jade,
What kind of a father punches his pregnant daughter in the stomach?
Where's your mother?
I'm not sure which country you live in but you should be getting prenatal care from a health care provider. Contact your local health departmant a... (read in full...)
My girlfriend cries in public !
Q. Last night whilst out for a meal, my girlfriend of just over a year began too cry randomly. This is now the second time she has cried in public and the fourth she has cried in front of me. I had not seen her for a week before this so had obviously ...
A. 20 January 2007: You said "Apparantly in a relationship you should express how you feel with emotions and reassure people that way."
Apparently that isn't your strong suit.
Women with PMS or hormone imbalances are prone to cry over anything. They are highly e... (read in full...)
She's dumped me but says she still loves me... can I bounce back?
Q. My girl friend of one year has decided to end our relaionship. She's says that I won't change, and dosn't believe me when I say I will. We have had fights over the same thing many times. We had plans to be married and now she says she dosn't see ...
A. 20 January 2007: I guess it depends on what it is you are supposed to change. If you want to change, actions speak louder than words.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
We're married and we can't cannect on work schedules and having children. Are we ready for a divorce?
Q. How do you know when you're ready for divorce? Bubble, Bubble, Toil and trouble...yep, that's my marriage right now. We're totally drifting apart and I don't see us connecting on some major issues. I want him to work close to home, he wants to work ...
A. 19 January 2007: I think he pretty much spelled it out to you. . . his career is more important than making you happy.
I've said this before and I'll say it again. Nobody on their death bed ever said "I wish I had spent more time at work." Unfortunately, too many... (read in full...)
Met him through online dating and I don't think he's being consistant. Any advice?
Q. I am unsure about online dating. I found a profile I liked and sent an email. For about 2 wks now we have been chatting, and finally met face to face for coffee on my lunch break. he is a doctor with 2 mos. residency left and on call. I feel like I ...
A. 19 January 2007: A doctor, yeah right. I think your "guts" are all over this guy. He's probably at home right now waiting for his welfare check.
Better luck next time.... (read in full...)
Can anyone offer an explanation as to why he is giving me the runaround? Did I scare him off?
Q. An ex that I truly loved has now been trying to see me again. We became a long distance relationship (we only dated for 6 months but were friends for 3 months beforehand, and I was so deeply in love with him)... It ended because of the distan...
A. 19 January 2007: When I first started reading your note, I thought I was reading another letter from a 13 - 15 year old. Then I realized how old you are.
Forget this guy. And if he calls again, hang up.
Your wasting way too much emotion on a dead beat.
Good... (read in full...)
My bf cussed out the guy I have a crush on! What should I do?
Q. I have a problem with my boy-friend being to overprotective. He just cussed out the guy i have a crush on, in front of me!!..and he knows that i don't like that, but what can i do because now he's asking me to set the up to fight..and the only thing ...
A. 19 January 2007: What did elementary school just let out somewhere? LOL!
... (read in full...)
He has hit, kicked, and punched me before, but i just let it slide because it's just so hard to get away from him! Any thoughts?
Q. Should i still be with my boy-friend because i think that he is just using me for the money and my sex just like what he did before..Sometimes he tells me that he loves, but how am i sure that he just wants to be with me for more money. He has hit, ...
A. 19 January 2007: What should you do? Lose him . . . and then do some growing up before you get involved with anyone else.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
I have boy trouble and need advice! Help!
Q. Heyy Well im in year 10 at school and have boy trouble! I went out with this boy but i figured out i liked his best friend so i dumped the guy i was with, this was months ago, but nothing ever happened with his best m8t and me except ultimate...
A. 19 January 2007: Soooo much drama is right! I'm not sure what the question is, but if he's interested in you, he should be asking you out. Until then, play the field. Have some fun.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
He's older than me and I'm afraid he'll go clubbing anytime he wants! What should I do?
Q. well im 15 years old and bf's 18 and im really afraid that he might be going clubbing anytime he wants and when he's not suppose to. I don't really trust him because we both played each other in the past before and we've both done many wrong things ...
A. 19 January 2007: I think you know the answer. . . you answered it on your last line. Wait until you're old enough to know what's going on.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
He said he doesn't want sex b/c he's "got something" that's none of my business. Then I found a vile text from him to another woman!
Q. Dear Cupid My partner had been tempted to have a fling with a girl he met at the gym and I found a text he was going to send her, which was vile. He swore nothing came of it and never would. It forced me to look at myself and why he may want to ...
A. 19 January 2007: You've known him for 16 years and all of a sudden "he's got something". It sounds like he's got the itch to find someone new. I'd show him where the door is. . . and give him a size 13 boot (that's me, probably not you - LOL) in the seat of the ... (read in full...)
I'm 15 and when I orgasm a lot of semen (too much) comes out.This never used to happen before. What's going on?
Q. hey, well me and my girlfriend have been together for 7 months (im 15 shes 14). We lost our virginities to each other a couple of weeks ago. The problem was that i came really quickly, i had this problem at the beginning of the relationship when she ...
A. 19 January 2007: I read about a guy whose wife used his penis as a pacifier and sucked on it all the time. She even went to bed at night with it in her mouth. It got to the point where the guy was oozing cum all of the time. The doctor told him to keep his wife away ... (read in full...)
I want him to show me affection and not just during sex. I don't know what to do.
Q. hey. my boyfriend doesn't know how to show love or affection. he can't cuddle me or kiss me unless there is another reason. the only time i ever feel this real love and affection is when we are having sex. i know he isn't just with me for t...
A. 19 January 2007: I don't know who has the bigger problem here, you, or "useless" the agony aunt who responded by saying her boyfriend forces her to have sex. That, my dear, is rape. . . a felony with serious consequences where I live.
In both instances, my advic... (read in full...)
I'm 16 and 6 months pregnant and I'm worried coz we don't live together yet!
Q. I am sixteen years old and pregnant...my boyfriend is 15. I am sixth months and i am really starting to worry about the fact we dont live together. What do you think I should do? I dont want to move away from my mom and his mom says i can move in ...
A. 19 January 2007: What difference does it make if he lives with you or not, he's only 15. He can't support you. You need to worry about how you're going to raise a child. . . even though you're just a child yourself. . . .
I'd stay with your mother.
Good luck... (read in full...)
Should I see a doctor for the lump on my neck, or will it go away?
Q. i currently have a problem, my neck on one side at the bottom nearing the shoulder has some sort of lump while the other side is straight. i would like to know is this worth goin to see a doctor or will it just go away in a few weeks??? plzzz hel...
A. 19 January 2007: It's probably just a fatty cyst, but better to be safe than sorry. See a doctor.
... (read in full...)
Why did he have 15 pair of women's size 10 shoes in his closet?
Q. Hi there wondering if you can help with this situation that is really bothering me i was with my boyfriend for 2 years and so deeply in love with him he had his issues as do we all but as he lost his mother and didn't have much family he begun too ...
A. 19 January 2007: Did you look in his closet or dresser to see if he had any gowns, nighties, or other female apparel? He might just like to strut around his flat with the shoes on, or he might be a full blown cross-dresser. If he won't tell you, then there's a good ... (read in full...)
I'm 15 and when I orgasm a lot of semen (too much) comes out.This never used to happen before. What's going on?
Q. hey, well me and my girlfriend have been together for 7 months (im 15 shes 14). We lost our virginities to each other a couple of weeks ago. The problem was that i came really quickly, i had this problem at the beginning of the relationship when she ...
A. 18 January 2007: Au contraire, Appygal, that's the reason it IS ILLEGAL in the U.S. They are both UNDER the legal age of consent in every state in the U.S. It is 16 in some, 17 and 18 in others.
But they may live in Timbuktu, and they may not have age of consent ... (read in full...)
I'm 15 and when I orgasm a lot of semen (too much) comes out.This never used to happen before. What's going on?
Q. hey, well me and my girlfriend have been together for 7 months (im 15 shes 14). We lost our virginities to each other a couple of weeks ago. The problem was that i came really quickly, i had this problem at the beginning of the relationship when she ...
A. 18 January 2007: You should be worried less about how much cum you're producing and more worried about what kind of birth control you are using, unless you plan on being a 15 year old father, with a 14 year old mother for a girlfriend.
... (read in full...)
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