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*onungalungb agony aunt

*onungalungb

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*onungalungb's profile:

I'm currently single, with an 8 year old son. I've lived a fairly interesting life and have a fair amount of experience in relationships to offer advice to anyone that cares to listen.

My advice falls into four categories:

Good

Not So Good

Funny

Serious

I try to keep most of my responses on the lighter side, unless the situation calls for a more serious tone.

Don't get pissed off and email me if you don't like what I have to say. I'm just having fun.

< Prev345678910111213Next > [17 pages, 648 answers]

Do I send roses?

Q.   Do I send Roses? I met a lady in 2002, we lived together for 4 years. In January last year she left me and we have seen little of each other since, however we had a good meeting yesterday for coffee. She told me then she has a new boyfriend (I do ...

A.   14 February 2007: I think I'd save the dosh and send an email valentine. Roses might be a little over-the-top at this juncture. She'll know you're interested if you just send a greeting card valentine (and don't get mushy with it). If she's interested, she'll follow ... (read in full...)

Want to ask my wife's sister out for supper...how do I go about this?

Q.   Dear Cupid, My sister in law is currently living with me and my wife, well over 5.5 years. I am 34, the SIL is 45, and the wife is 42. My sister in law is very sweet. Soon, my wife is taking a trip to London the last Tuesday of next month,...

A.   14 February 2007: I decided I need a little more of this action. LOL. Your question was: "My question is, if I ask her, "lets go out(resturant,etc.) and do something?"....my concern is, how could I ask her out to assure we could get to go out and have a good ... (read in full...)

Help!!! My mother in law is back and now I feel like an old whore!

Q.   This is now VERY serious. I had posted about my mother in law who is 68(I am 57) and who acted funny over our lunch date by telling me I had a nice bust and by asking whether I caressed it while I was alone. When I went back home that day I fanta...

A.   14 February 2007: This sounds like a script from a 1950's skin flick - "she opens my front-fastening and releases my breasts, and puts her hands full on, her thumbs on my engorged and painful nipples". You could find a job writing romance novels. LOL. ... (read in full...)

We met online, we dated, had a great time but now she's ignoring me! What's going on here?

Q.   met a woman online a month ago. She's in her early 40's and I'm 39. I was very attracted to her and when we met, I was even more attracted to her. We met to watch a game at a local bar and half way through, left and had an intimate dinner...

A.   13 February 2007: It sounds like she is either too busy or just not that interested. In either case, I think it's time to write her off. If she doesn't have the common decency to tell you what's up, she isn't worth your time. ... (read in full...)

Is my boy too young to start puberty??

Q.   When do boys start puberty? The reason i ask is because my 7 year old son has started getting pubic hair not under his arms! I thought this was a bit too young but anyone who can help would be much appreciated. Thankyou...

A.   13 February 2007: Have you asked the nurse why he is sprouting pubic hairs at the age of seven? That's what I'd do.... (read in full...)

Condoms are too big for my penis and it's creating problems for me...what should I do?

Q.   Condoms, they're all too big for me. My penis is 4 inches big, but condoms are 6 inches if you buy them from shops or machines. This problem became worse when i was having sex and it came off in the girl I was shagging, things got worse wen i shot...

A.   13 February 2007: The ring on a condom is designed to fit around your erect penis, no matter how small (within reason), and it stretches to fit most any size. The length of the rubber doesn't matter because you roll out as much or as little as you need. It's the ... (read in full...)

It's so offputing when he stares at me. Is my teacher just being normal?

Q.   i'm in 11th grade and at my school there is this teacher who doesn't even teach me but he acts really wierd with me. Hes like the strictest teacher in the school to everyone but me. Once he took a photo of me and started going on about how much he ...

A.   13 February 2007: He sounds like a creep to me. I'd tell your parents and principal about his behavior. It sounds like he's flirting with you. He may think he's being funny or cute, but he is a little too close for comfort. He shouldn't be touching you. Period. H... (read in full...)

My husband's friend jokes at us about hubby and I having sex and it bothers me! What's is up with this guy?

Q.   My husband’s best friend is always joking about sex and at times he would say stuff about my husband and I in intimate cinereous i.e. “Oh im can just picture it” and he’s looking at both of us with these dirty sexual eyes and we all laugh it off of ...

A.   13 February 2007: He sounds like a creep to me. I would mention your dislike for this behavior to your husband and tell him to tell his friend if he can't keep a civil mouth, he won't be welcome in your home when you're around. If you're husband doesn't have the ... (read in full...)

A question for the male aunts: What do you think about women who give BJ's and swallow on their first date?

Q.   Question for guys (but all replies welcome)... What do you think of girls that give BJs and swallow on a first nite? Would you have less respect for them? Do you think they are just liberated? Would it be the kind of girl you w...

A.   13 February 2007: 1. I think they're swell, and good sports. 2. No. Would you have less respect for yourself if you let her? No double standards, right? 3. Just liberated. . . maybe. Enjoyed giving head . . . most definitely. 4. Oh yeah. But be careful, hor... (read in full...)

Is my boy too young to start puberty??

Q.   When do boys start puberty? The reason i ask is because my 7 year old son has started getting pubic hair not under his arms! I thought this was a bit too young but anyone who can help would be much appreciated. Thankyou...

A.   13 February 2007: I'm not a doctor, but I'd be concerned with the steroid inhaler. Steroids can alter growth and mood. I'd get an opinion from a specialist (not his current doctor) regarding your concerns. The dosage may need to be altered or the type of medicati... (read in full...)

This is a bit unusual I know, tomorrow is V's day. (I'm the female) but I want to stay in and watch the FA cup replay!!! How do I tell my boyfriend?

Q.   Hi everyone, I am in a bit of a pickle here! My partner and I have arranged to go out tomorrow night (we try and go out for a meal at least once or twice a week) - now, unless you live in a cave, you will realise that tomorrow is Valenti...

A.   13 February 2007: Hey, give credit where credit is due! That was my "if all else fails idea" . . . "Order Out". In England they might call it something else though. LOL. Have fun, Nutty!... (read in full...)

When you are in a love relationship...what is your thoughts on how things should be?

Q.   relationship between two people in love what is your definition of how things should be? i have tried to explain it's meaning to my bf and he still doesn't seem to get it. ...

A.   13 February 2007: To the anonymous male writer who quoted scripture but prefaced it with the following quote: "I am not a christian or a religious person at all, quite the opposite in fact"." In the words of Shakespeare, "Thou doth protest too much." ... (read in full...)

This is a bit unusual I know, tomorrow is V's day. (I'm the female) but I want to stay in and watch the FA cup replay!!! How do I tell my boyfriend?

Q.   Hi everyone, I am in a bit of a pickle here! My partner and I have arranged to go out tomorrow night (we try and go out for a meal at least once or twice a week) - now, unless you live in a cave, you will realise that tomorrow is Valenti...

A.   13 February 2007: I've got one word for you "TIVO". LOL. If you don't have Tivo, try another word, "VCR". Can't you video tape the game? Go out with your bf and come home and watch your tape. If all else fails, tell him you'd like to watch the game. Who knows, he m... (read in full...)

Why is it scary for me to be ill treated by someone?

Q.   Why does it matter for me if i am in the spotlight and i am judged or criticized by others in public? Many people don't care even if they are hated by many in general, then why should it be scary for me to be ill treated by someone? ...

A.   13 February 2007: Nobody likes to be mistreated or ridiculed. People in the spotlight tend to grow a thick skin. They have to or they succumb to the pressure of the media. That's why you hear of so many celebrities that abuse alcohol and drugs. For you to be gene... (read in full...)

I feel the age gap is just too much. I want to go out and do things, he seems content to stay at home. I'm thinking of calling it a day... Any advice?

Q.   Hi, I have been seeing my bf now for neally 2 years. I live with him in his house and have been doing so for about a year now. Thing is he is 19 years older than me, I'm 20 he's 38. He has his career, his house, lived his life etc etc so when he ...

A.   13 February 2007: 18 years is a large gap at your age. But if you love him as much as you say, maybe you can work it out? I was 40 dating a 23 year-old, so I know the situation fairly well. At 40, I enjoyed going dancing, going to clubs, etc. . . and I still do. ... (read in full...)

I'm a guy and REALLY like this other guy but how do I know he's not straight?

Q.   The school year just started up a few weeks ago, and it started way better than any other beginning of the year. For some odd reason I seem to be quite approachable to the new students and i've already made heaps of friends. But heres where my ...

A.   13 February 2007: Percentage wise, it's probable that he's straight. If you already are talking with him, ask him general questions like "Have you seen the latest James Bond film, Casino Royale?" If he has, ask him "Who do you think was the hottest person in the ... (read in full...)

The pain of leaving this man is unbearable but I am scared he still has feelings for his ex-wife!!

Q.   Dear Cupid What should I do? I have been dating a man for one year. When we met he told me he was married but separated from his wife. I met him on an online dating site. He said he had 'stuff' to sort out but he still wanted to see me. He told...

A.   13 February 2007: Here's what I think, for what it's worth: This guy has no intentions of leaving his wife. You are his "chick on the side". . . or mistress, if you will. If you don't mind being that, then hang in there for as long he wants to have you. Because ... (read in full...)

Is my boy too young to start puberty??

Q.   When do boys start puberty? The reason i ask is because my 7 year old son has started getting pubic hair not under his arms! I thought this was a bit too young but anyone who can help would be much appreciated. Thankyou...

A.   13 February 2007: I'm not sure I follow this. He's "getting pubic hair NOT under his arms"? 7 is pretty young, but I guess it's possible. He doesn't take any growth hormones or any other drugs that may effect his advanced maturity does he? My son is 7 and he has p... (read in full...)

Why doI crush after this other guy when I love my bf sooo much?

Q.   Hi..I've been with my bf for one and a half years and we are sooooooooo very much in love!! Things are going great, could not be better and he's become even more loving than usual of late, we're so crazy about each other, it's sooooo obvious to ...

A.   13 February 2007: I think Eddie has this one pegged. I've had girlfriends who had girlfriends that would turn anyone's head. You just don't act upon your attraction . . . IF you treasure your relationship with your boyfriend. Next time this guy comes over, pict... (read in full...)

Should you remain friends with your ex after they cheat on you?

Q.   Should you remain friends with your ex after they cheat on you? After 4 years of being in a relationship with my girlfriend. She met a guy a work. She went out to lunch with him and kept it from me. After 2 weeks she told me about it. My girlfrien...

A.   13 February 2007: She wants to keep you "waiting in the wings", just in case the new guy doesn't work out. Move on and forget about her. She's not worth your sweat and tears. You say, "How can she show no emotions and act if nothing happened?" She's a woman. That... (read in full...)

Want to ask my wife's sister out for supper...how do I go about this?

Q.   Dear Cupid, My sister in law is currently living with me and my wife, well over 5.5 years. I am 34, the SIL is 45, and the wife is 42. My sister in law is very sweet. Soon, my wife is taking a trip to London the last Tuesday of next month,...

A.   13 February 2007: Superfly, I think I'd talk it over with the "wifey" before you ask out the "SIL". If you're just doing it to be a nice BIL, there shouldn't be a problem. If you have other intentions, you best be rethinking those intentions, unless you want to end ... (read in full...)

I want him to want me! Do I text him every day so he doesn't forget me or what?

Q.   My boyfriend and I broke up a few weeks ago but I didn't think it would be for good because everytime something happens we say its over but we always work it out and carry on because we really do love each other. (the thing that happened is a bicker ...

A.   13 February 2007: There's an old saying (and I think Sting stole part of it for some song lyrics) that goes something like this: If you love someone, set them free. If they come back to you, they are yours forever. If they don't, they were never yours to begin with... (read in full...)

What is the average sized penis for a guy?

Q.   hi, im 15. my gfs 17. i was talking to her about penis size, and started going thru them and what she though eg(1 inch? 2 inch? 3INch?), well i said my penis size and she laughed at it, im 4 inch 5. she laughed at all other sizes up to 4.5 an sed 5 ...

A.   12 February 2007: I have to disagree with CD206. 5" soft is stretching the average, so to speak. LOL. ... (read in full...)

Are there guys out there, that don't look at other pretty women when they are with me?

Q.   my ex really did not care to look at other females- I know this because every time we were together and even when females in bikinis passed by he really only concentrated on me and didn't care to look.... he wasnt interested at all... my new ...

A.   12 February 2007: This sounds very similar to a note that I read here before - The girl who had a boyfriend that focused his entire attention on her, 24/7. What happened to that pillar of fidelity? If you can't stand to have your boyfriend look at anyone else, even... (read in full...)

He wants to have sex with me with no ties as he has a girlfriend

Q.   Hi Tom, my x-boyfriend and I broke up 3 yrs ago. We lived together for 8 yrs, he moved in with a other woman instantly. One month after the break-up he came to my house, we had sex. He has came to my house every month for over 3 yrs. He says he ...

A.   11 February 2007: Hi Kathy, You're every man's dream (maybe not every man's - LOL), because you put out with no strings attached. A freebie!!!And yes, you will have this to look forward to for the rest of your life, if you don't do anything to change it. You need... (read in full...)

Send a guy-friend a "f***-me-now" text when I was drunk... now I'm worried he'll take it literally!

Q.   I'm in need of advice... I got really drunk the other night and i sent this guy a text saying i want to f**k him and the next morning he texts me saying "i can help you with that" and i read it haveing know clue what he is talking about so i look ...

A.   11 February 2007: You're 13 - 15 and you're getting wasted?!!!! In the US, it's illegal to drink before you're 21. . . with good reason. You're not mature enough to handle it, for one (not that anyone is ever mature enough to handle it). There are no redeeming qual... (read in full...)

Am I in an unhealthy relationship?

Q.   Hi, I am 21 years old and think I may be in an unhealthy relationship. I have been with my partner for five years and love him to bits, in the time I have been with him both my parents have passed away and so as you can imagine I am very attached...

A.   11 February 2007: When he cycled 15 miles to tell you to come home or the relationship was over was an opportunity missed by you to lose this guy. He may think that he owns you, but he doesn't. You need to get out of his controlling grip and learn to live on your ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend has had such a wayward past! I can't get it out of my head, do I break up with her? I'm so confused.

Q.   I met this girl in the summer, and there was an instant connection. I am a mechanic and she needed her car to be fixed, so I offered to help her out just so I'd have an excuse to see her again. Things were going well, and one night she spilled to me ...

A.   9 February 2007: She has never done anything to you but be honest about her past. When she grabbed the guy's dick, she didn't know you from Adam, so why is that an issue with you? If she grabbed a guy's dick while she was with you, then you've got an issue. If you ... (read in full...)

I saw this guys picture on line and he blew me away! How can I talk with this guy?

Q.   i like some one on-line and i dont know them i saw there pic and it was like i was run over by a bus he seems a nice guy but i dont hink i can talk to him....

A.   9 February 2007: How do you know it was a picture of him? I've heard of people using photographs of models to attract women, or men. There was a local guy that sent a woman that he met online, $50,000. He fell in love with her photograph and her ability to con him.... (read in full...)

Why did my boyfriend refuse to kiss me in front of the receptionist?

Q.   Quick question. My boyfriend had started new job and had taken the receptionist mobile number and was texting her when i wasn't about. I told him i knew and he was to put a stop to it cos there was no need for it. Today we got dropped off outs...

A.   9 February 2007: Just a hunch, but he might have told the receptionist that he doensn't have a girlfriend. If she then sees him kissing someone (you), she'd realize that he was lying. It appears that he wants to keep his options open, which doesn't bode well for ... (read in full...)

How can my husband be so cruel to me?

Q.   Help!, Me and my husband been seperated for over 20 years and are still married!. I am young lady! he owns an estate and i am homeless.(HE SAID TO ME HAS IS GONE ON WITH LIFE)!telling to me leave him alone! I need a lot of HELP and answers! how can ...

A.   9 February 2007: You need to see a good attorney. It's time to put the squeeze on your husband.... (read in full...)

I love my husband but I can't trust him any more. What can I do to regain that trust?

Q.   I have been married for 3 years, however i feel my husband is not in love with me anymore, He hardly ever pays any attention to me and on the odd occasion he does want to have sex, i feel that that is all it is - that he just wants sex - not that ...

A.   9 February 2007: You're awfully young to be suffering through a one-sided marriage. You both need to see a marriage counselor if you think your marriage is worth saving. Good luck!... (read in full...)

Crush on actress character, but she took it personally, what can I do?

Q.   i have a crush on an actress's carector unfortionaly she has taken it personaly to herself .i have had cast cards and i have meet her , i'v tried to exsplain and ihave apoligised . but now i think i have been blaklisted or something .i only whant ...

A.   9 February 2007: If I'm reading this correctly, you have a crush on a TV or film actress' character? The actress has given you cast cards (photos or autographed cards?) in the past but now she won't because she thinks you are a stalker. Is that about the size of ... (read in full...)

The only time he calls is to ask me to come over and have sex. Is he just using me?

Q.   I have been dating my boyfriend for about 10months now,when I met him I was a virgin, I held out in our relationship for about 5 months Before we had sex. In the beginning the relationship was going great we got along and spent time together almost ...

A.   9 February 2007: I don't think you have to be a brain surgeon to figure this one out. . . and I think you already have. Keep trying to go places with your life and leave the freeloader behind. Good luck!... (read in full...)

I'm not one to buy into the whole popularity fake thing so am I being taken in by this popular girl at school?

Q.   There's this really popular girl and she sits next to me in lessons and often copies from my book. The other day she said that I was really nice, which I was quite surprised at. However, my friend mentioned that a piece of writing I'd done was abou...

A.   9 February 2007: I'm not sure I follow this. . . your friend says that you are mentally trapped (whatever that means), and you sit next to a popular girl that said you were really nice. What is it that bothers you, your friend saying you were mentally trapped or t... (read in full...)

Worried about panic attacks when I'm flying...

Q.   hi ya can anyone help me. i suffer from bad panic attacks, and i am going away on tuesday and iam shitting myself about been closed in on my flight. dont get me wrong i have flown loads of times but since two years ago when my panic attacks started ...

A.   7 February 2007: You have to ask yourself, what's the worst that can happen? The plane crashes and you die. If that doesn't concern you, then the rest should be a piece of cake. You say you take anti-depression tablets. They apparently aren't helping with the pani... (read in full...)

Was this his way of hinting that he doesn't love me anymore?

Q.   one afternoon while were listening to a radio station whose main event is finding a someone to be like gf/bf thing, my bf reacted when a girl in the station stated that she wanted to find a lover, my bf said that "ohhh, your looking for a man and ...

A.   7 February 2007: It sounds like you're reading a lot into his statement, which, by the way, doesn't make a lot of sense to me. Here's another of my famous quotes: Communication: Try It! Why can't you talk to each other? Why do you think he has to "hint" about hi... (read in full...)

My mom got angry at me for being raped among other things! How do I get my parents to leave me alone?? I don't love them!

Q.   I haven't been talking with my parents for several months. This is because I have had a bad childhood because of them and am just now realizing all the hell I went through. I guess I've kept it supressed for a long time - I've just moved out and ...

A.   7 February 2007: You might consider family counseling. Otherwise, change your email address, change your phone number, and live your life without them. You might consider counseling for yourself to get over your past. Good luck!... (read in full...)

When does the arguing mean its over??

Q.   How often do most couples argue? How do you know when the arguments are too much--when they're a sign that, even though you love each other, you need to move on? If you have a terrible, horrible argument--yelling and crying--that's n...

A.   7 February 2007: It takes two to argue. If you're both yelling and screaming at each other, not much gets accomplished . . . only hurt feelings. Have you ever tried rational conversation? What exactly are you fighting about? Is one person trying to control the othe... (read in full...)

Secret relationship to respect my dad - or am I disrespecting my man?

Q.   my bf asked me one time as to why that he cannot visit me at home,were just been 6mos. with this relationship yet i did told him that my father is so strict that he might get angry , im 25 years old but due to my respect to my father ive been a good ...

A.   7 February 2007: 25 seems fairly old to be still under the thumb of your father. You don't say where you live, and I realize that different cultures expect different moral conduct. Since you obviously live under his roof, you are subject to his rules and ... (read in full...)

She demanded I can't hello-hug any women but she says it's ok for her to do it to guys!

Q.   Dear Cupid Early in our relationship my girlfriend demanded that I never give other women a hug-hello since she never hugs guys. Its so rare that I hug-hello anyways, and then, only to real friends who cannot misinterpret it as flirting. However,...

A.   7 February 2007: When you say she "demanded" that you not do something, that sounds pretty scary to me. Tell her that you won't hug anyone as long as she doesn't hug back. In other words, she has to keep her arms to her sides when someone tries to hug her. Overa... (read in full...)

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