A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Need your opinion on this one.I am a woman in my forties. I have a great family:a husband and a 23 years old daughter. I look very young, sometimes people think I am in my mid-thirties.The last few years really young guys started to like me. At first i noticed it, i really didn't believe in what i was seeing. When it repeated several times in a row, i realized that my intuition doesn't lie to me.When we were visiting my daughter in another state, we went for breakfast w/her friends. One of the guys,28, was really shy around me. It was funny for me also and a little uncomfortable to see this absolutely gorgeous and big guy w/huge muscles looking at me w/puppy eyes all the time.I even told my daughter that a young man looking at me strangely. She said that he is just shy like this. Few months later she visited us, and in a converstaion mentioned suddenly that her shy friend has a huge crash on me. He talks about me all the time and asking when i will be visiting again.I am not going to describe every single time it happens, just the last one, because this time it's a 22 year old. We met through work training just for 4 days, and i never saw him again.During the course of training we had to exchange phone numbers as we did a progect together. I noticed something in his behavior, but very lite, like little jokes, or telling me about how good i look. A week later after he texted me, asking how everything was. That was surprising. I told myself:o, no, not again. Then week later another text. Since then for a month now we are texting each other almost every day. He is a smart boy, smooth talker. Our converstaion took a different turn. He askes me personal questions, we joke all the time, it's fun. Sometimes i catch myself on a thought that i am acting childish.I don't know what he hopes for. He is really good looking w/funny hair, so young. He probably has girls chasing after him. What is the facination w/older women, i don't understand this? You can't even start comparing the physical beauty of a body of a 20 year old and 40year old. He mentioned something about young girls wanting relationship, and getting attached. May be that's what it is? Here he can just have sex, and no attachment?Is it some kind of disorder in young men, or normal? Or at that age they really don't care who to have sex with? But why to pick someone so unavailable as me, and so much older. With this last guy, i am probably the age of his mother.I'd like to hear young guys opinion on this most of all. Thank you
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2010): i am 32. Personally, i love mature women cause they are a true women not girl.. The one who i love is older than me 16 years old..
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2010): I can't speak for all men. Also, I am primarily attracted to younger women. That said, I'll tell you exactly what attracts me to older women, when it occurs. br br
I have been attracted to women 10, and even 20 years my senior. There are a few common traits. br br
1) They care about their appearance. br
2) They are intellectual, and possess good communication skills. br
3) They are financially secure, perhaps moreso than I. br
4) They are calm, together, and pleasant. br
5) They are assertive. br
6) They are wise. They know what does and doesn't work in life. br
7) They show grace under pressure. br
8) They are confident and self-assured. br
Some older women don't have these traits. I don't give them second glances. The ones that do have these qualities can seriously capture and hold my romantic interest. Notice how unlike a teenager most of those descriptors are? br br
Also, I know that it tips the balance of power in my favor. Youth is a bargaining chip in a relationship, and the person who has it doesn't have to bring as much to the table. I can get a woman with a higher OVERALL quality if I'm the younger one, just like young women can attract very wealthy and powerful older men without bringing as much to the table. br br
For example: My doctor is a very attractive married woman in her 50's who is cool and collected, assertive, and, by virtue of being a doctor, extremely wealthy and well-educated. If she was available, I would undoubtedly flirt. If she was receptive, I would break up with my 19 year old girlfriend and pursue a relationship with her without hesitation. br br
I can match her education, demeanor, assertiveness, and appearance but I am a journalist. I cannot compete with her wealth. That's where my youth comes into play and balances the books. It allows me to pursue a woman above my station, whereas if my doctor was younger, I wouldn't be able to offer as much as she could. It would be more difficult for me to demonstrate enough value to be appealing to her. br br
I hope I was able to shed some light on the matter for you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2010): Women elder to young men are attractive because they are more experienced. That's all.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2010): as a good looking thirtiesh man
i can say that since my teens i have always and still
find women in thier 40's 50's and even 60's
are very very sexy and attractive
and thier bodies are more mature and lusty
and i believe there are allot of guy like me out there
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (3 June 2010):
 Older women are more attractive to younger men because they are more experienced,financially stable , not demanding
and their expectations are lower .
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (3 June 2010):
 Q1605 is right. A good woman is a good woman at any age.
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A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (3 June 2010):
 I'd put my chips on that MILF obsession thing. Sorta freaks me, really. I'm 39 and recently had a neighborhood 17 yro hit on me...like point blank..mildly flattering in an old lady kinda way. But kinda creepy in that I am as old as his own mother, just gave me the Willies, is all. Since I'm married to man my own age, I thanked him for his kind, but blunt offer and said no thanks. He took it well. and that was that. Sorry, not a youngster here, but I've had the same experience.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2010): Young men as myself like older women from age 30-50 because they are still "hot" and mature in kinda way and that's attractive. It's just something in our minds that makes us want attractive older women because they are usually serious and mature mentaly and younger women don't have this because they're kinda silly in few ways.The most basically i would describe it it's like optposite what women see in "alfa-male".They mature women got that experience and usualy want to have a fling.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2010): I am an original poster:
The title of my question is incorrect: i was not looking for an answer 'does he just want benefits'. I didn't create title myself, i was given one.
I am not looking in having an affair with a 22 years old, it's flattering and entertaining, but no more than that. 'Benefits' what they called, of-course it would be just 'benefits', what else? life together?LOL.
I was looking for an answer why older women, if there are plenty of the same age women.
Peterpan, thanks, it was a good answer, i was looking for general answer, as it happens to me quite often lately.
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A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (29 May 2010):
 I don't know if it's appropriate to make wide, sweeping generalizations, but it seems like you're looking for that kind of answer. Speaking from experience, I would say that the attraction for an "older woman" might be the usual lack of BS and typically grounded personality -- ie. no (or less) drama. But in general, there really isn't one pat explanation. Clearly it's an interpersonal chemistry thing in my opinion.
Of course, that's the positive swing on it... if you wanted the darker side, you could always say that the young man in question has "mommy issues," but I don't have a degree in psychology, so take that opinion with a huge grain of salt.
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