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Never needed it before. What would be the reasons why, after all this time, I have now started to need lube to have sex?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 August 2012) 5 Answers - (Newest, 14 August 2012)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Dear cupid, I'm a 33 year old woman with a healthy sexual appetite and a boyfriend that I've been dating for a year.

With my previous sexual partners I never had to use lube, I was always wet enough to have sex although I've never been so wet that a guy could slide right in. It always took a minimum of gradual back and forth to get in but it's always been enough and once he's in im usually pretty wet.

With my current bf though, we systematically have to use lube otherwise he can't get in. Even after he goes down on me and make me orgasm, I'm still not wet enough for sex even though I really want it.

We always have to get the lube out and I feel self concious because I know he's never had to do that before and it's also very odd for me.

Is it possible that you get "dryer" after a certain age?

Or maybe it's the pill? (ive been on it for over 10 years). Or is it possible that it's just us? Again, I never had this problem before. I'm fine using lube every time but I'm still not sure what's going on.

View related questions: orgasm, the pill

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A male reader, DoubleM United States +, writes (14 August 2012):

DoubleM agony auntAs others noted, you can get dryer with aging. Let me try to explain. The biological purpose of people is to reproduce, up to a point in life. As we age, the physiological abilities of our organs can change. We are supposedly not supposed to become parents after a certain point in life, so that we can be around long enough to raise them. You can blame God or whatever, but we do age and our abilities decrease. Other factors can also affect the abilities, as others suggested, notably medications.

You are still apparently quite young, as posted, so I tend to think that age should not be much of a matter. Nevertheless, aging does affect our lives as the time goes by. Things about our bodies simply change. Use the lube as needed.

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A male reader, Hugh.J United Kingdom +, writes (13 August 2012):

Hugh.J agony auntMight I suggest that you use GRAPE seed oil - NOT rape seed.

Apply liberally to his penis and your vagina as part of foreplay and you may be surprised.....

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (13 August 2012):

person12345 agony auntAs you get older it can happen, so can antihistamines, antidepressants, and other medications, so can being dehydrated, and yes the pill can definitely do it. It doesn't mean anything about your feelings for him. If you're having orgasms it's all fine!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (13 August 2012):

Honeypie agony auntYes, you can get "dryer" as you age.

Also, like So_Very_Confused pointed out certain medications can make you produce less natural "lubrication".

Make sure you drink plenty of water, that can actually help as well.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (13 August 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntneeding lube does not mean you don't find him attractive.

you're getting older and as you get older you lubricate less

if you take antihistamines for allergies it also could deplete your body fluids.

It's not a reflection on your desires....

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