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*appytochat

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I unhooked her bra when we were kissing, but that was going too far! Now what?

Q.   Hi. I have been with my girlfriend a month now, and it was going great. Until last night. We were kissing and I thought maybe we could move to the next step. So I undid her bra at the back but she immediatly stopped kissing and shook her head. I ...

A.   1 January 2006: This girl can't be angry at you, because its not your fault. Sure you went to take a further step then she may of wanted but did she tell you ever before that she did not want to go that far? You had no way of knowing. She must be angry at herself ... (read in full...)

Why is dating so difficult for me, when it seems to natural to other guys?

Q.   I am 39, tall and always smart dressed, and have got a good but dry sense of humour, but I find it almost impossible to find women. I have not had any sort of relationship for over 8 years. I am sick of girls who I do get to know keep saying "you...

A.   31 December 2005: Hi there, I can see how this can be very frustrating and you can be getting anxious as you are getting older and there is that pressure to 'find someone and settle down' coming up. Firstly you need to think about where you are looking. You said... (read in full...)

She gets so drunk, she's always talking to her exes, and I can't help but wonder: Is she cheating?

Q.   My girlfriend of 6 months has been drinking a lot lately. Whenever she gets drunk she calls all her exes. I work in a remote location for 2 weeks at a time and every night I call she's so drunk. I call and she's always talking to an ex. When I...

A.   31 December 2005: Omg, your poor person. This girl just as no sense of loving someone does she? Whether she be cheating on you or not, her behaviour is completely wrong, in appropiate and most of all HURTFUL to you! That is not right. What she's doing amazes me that... (read in full...)

Four months after I got her number, she's still got excuses for why we haven't gone out!

Q.   Is this girl interested? Is it harder to tempt a girl who has approached a guy? I have had an approach from a girl and I got her phone number. It's 4 months on but have never been out on a date. She keeps agreeing to go out on a date but doesn't ...

A.   31 December 2005: I think she is treating you very very unfairly and think's that she can get away with and that you will wait. I think you should try to move on, because this girl whether she be interested or not, obvisouly isn't right to be in a relationship as s... (read in full...)

My married guy will be with me... if I wait 16 years for him!

Q.   About a month ago I started seeing a guy at work, he's 14 years older than me and married with 2 kids. I've fallen in love with him and he's in love with me, the problem is he keeps telling me he wants me to wait for him for 16 years until his kids ...

A.   28 December 2005: I suppose it all comes down to, are you willing to wait around 16 years? Part of me thinks that you aren't but the other part gets the idea that you really want him so you think you should wait. Is that corect? I think that, if you are going to w... (read in full...)

Why does he say I should be grateful?

Q.   Hi, When I have a grievance against something my boyfriend has done or said, he'll say 'you could have it worse, you know. You could be with someone that lies to you and cheats on you.' He'll say that to just about anything I complain abou...

A.   28 December 2005: I think that his over reaction to the situation by making out like its not a big deeal, is a sign that hes hiding something. Hes trying to make excuses for his actions, and they shouldn't be accepted. He doens't repsect you, yet tires to make out ... (read in full...)

Would it be better for me to have sex with another virgin, or with the girl who I'm in love with?

Q.   Hi, I am 16 years old and just met this wonderful girl who I am in love with. However she does not seem to feel the same way. I am still a virgin and she rather prefers a sexual relationship. I know she slept with other men before and I w...

A.   28 December 2005: It seems like you wouldn't be very comfortable having sex with this girl as she isn't a virgin and that makes you feel inferior. You shouldn't feel like that in a relationship and she doens't seem to respect you and your wishes and isn't in love. ... (read in full...)

How can I help her with her parents?

Q.   Hey guys/girls well anyways I'm having a problem with my girlfriends parents. First of all I'd like to state that we're both 17 and seniors so we're getting ready to move up in the world. Our problem is that her parents don't like me for some sort...

A.   28 December 2005: Her parents are being very narrow minded, man I hate people like that! They obviously don't like people who are in the military and have this negative view of them, yet you should remind them that not all stereotypes are true, and for each ... (read in full...)

How do I make things go back to the way they were?

Q.   Hey...i just want people to tell me what they honestly think... I love my boyfriend so much (we're 26/25) and we have been together for 18 months. However over the last 2 months he hasn't made an effort to contact me...i am always the instigat...

A.   28 December 2005: I can totally understand how this is frustrating for you and also upseting and hurtful and can mkae you worry even if he cares a tiny bit anymore! I think either hes just very very very comfortable in the realtionship and has slacked off cause he r... (read in full...)

My partner seems doesn't listen to me, and spends most of his time at the pub or on the computer...

Q.   This Christmas has been terrible. Christmas day my partner just seemed to spend half the day yelling at my oldest son(he's 5) and my partner could not seem to understand that it was him and not my son who was ruining the day. My partner and I th...

A.   28 December 2005: Your relationship with your partner seems to be very similar to my parents, who are still together yet are very unhappy. It seems like everyone in your family is quiet unhappy at the moment, which isn't good and mustn't be the best place to live ... (read in full...)

Am I a fool to consider forgiving my wife's infidelity, after she dated 18 other guys?

Q.   I have been in a relationship for 30 years, 25 of them married.Three days ago, by accident, I found out my wife has been registered with 2 ''swinger'' sites in the last 6 months. She has admitted to lunchtime dates with about 18 men and sex with 6 ...

A.   28 December 2005: Its not your fault why she has cheated on you! Noway, just because you have erection problems DOES NOT give her the right to go sleep with other men. She should treat yo uwith respect, love, and dignity, not that your no good if you aren't the best ... (read in full...)

I can see my wife making the same mistakes during our separation that I did. How can I make her understand?

Q.   My wife and I separated last year for a year because of my verbal anger problem, and had a female friend that I did not do anything with until we were fully separated but she thought otherwise. Six months later she asked me to come back to her and I ...

A.   28 December 2005: You shouldn't be her 'back up' just because if something with this guy doesn't work out, thats not right, its not fair on you. I think you saying that you will 'wait for her' just makes hte journey for her all the more merry, as she knows that she ... (read in full...)

If I get pregnant, can we get married at 16 without our parent's permission?

Q.   I am 16 years old and I will be 17 in July of 2006. I live at home with my mom and my brother and I am just so tired of being treated like crap. My boyfriend is 16 also and he will turn 17 two days before me. We have been talking about getting ...

A.   28 December 2005: Marriage isn't something you should just go into to escape reality, deal with reality and don't run away, because it won't work out otherwise. I don't think you and your bf have really thought about what mairrgae is and what it really would be like ... (read in full...)

I've never really had a boyfriend, and I don't understand it... I think I'm friendly and have a lot to offer!

Q.   I am a 23 year old female who hasn't had a proper boyfriend. I hear things like 'people can't love you until you learn to love yourself' and similar things, but I do love myself and feel I have a lot to offer and a lot of love to give. I go to cl...

A.   28 December 2005: Its great that you see all the great things in yourself, keep that up! Alot of people these days don't have that, and its a horrible way to live if you can't even love yourself. By having that, your already half way there! Thats good. You said you... (read in full...)

Cheating and lying is out of my character... But it keeps happening!

Q.   Well where do i start, my best friend (lets call him James) has been in love with me since we met. I have realised over the past two months that i love him and it's not friendship love its deep love, i have been with my bf Alex for three months. ...

A.   28 December 2005: Do what your heart tells you. It seems like you really do love James, yet your in a relationship with Alex but don't know how to get out of it. Breaking up isnt easy, it never is, especially when the person has been nothing but really good to ... (read in full...)

The rumour is that she broke up with me because I wasn't affectionate enough...

Q.   Me and my girlfriend broke p a month ago and since then we haven't really spoken. Her reason for breaking up was because she was working on both weekends we couldn't meet up and she feels it's unfair to me. However I knew there was more to it, as t...

A.   27 December 2005: If giving her more affection would feel ok for you then, yes do it. Just make sure that you won't be feeling uncomfortable and stuff like that. I wonder, why you didn't give her so much affection in the first place? was it because you didnt feel ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend's mum is trying to destroy our relationship!

Q.   My boyfriend and I are really close, but he is older then me. His mom dislikes me and tries to mess with our relationship constantly. He is really sweet and I have no doubt he loves me, and I love him back, but his mom leaves threatning voicemails ...

A.   27 December 2005: You know what I was going to say something, but then I read what Bev wrote, it is absolutly 100% correct! i couldn't agree more and wouldnt be able to put it any better. so yes, take that adivce i say. Just another thought, get your parents to talk... (read in full...)

I want a baby..how do I change my fiancee's mind?

Q.   I want to have a baby, but my fiancee doesnt.What can I do to make him change his mind? Its stressing me out a whole lot and im feeling unhappy and depress @ times ...

A.   27 December 2005: Well I must ask, why did you and him get engaged in the first place? Didn't you talk about what you both want in life, like kids and so on. I think that before even continuing with the wedding you both have to sit down and talk about what you... (read in full...)

I'm hurt that my 5-year-old is calling my husband's new wife "Mom"!

Q.   My ex-husband recently got married and my 5 year old daughter called her "Mom" the other day. This hurts my feelings and besides the fact that I don't like this at all. I've already told my daughter that I'm her mother and that it hurts my feelings...

A.   27 December 2005: Hello there, I can imagine how hurtful it is to have your daughter call another woman, 'mom'. When you give birth, you have this bond and ownership of your child and feel like your there mother and no one can ever replace you. And its true, an... (read in full...)

Shouldn't I be ready to make this girl my girlfriend? How do I know it's the right step?

Q.   I like her, I enjoy her company, sex is great, I care for her. Then why in the world haven't I made her my girlfriend? I have never had a serious girlfriend and I'm a womanizer. How do i know if I like her enough? Is it just attraction? Being us...

A.   27 December 2005: I think sometimes some people 'search around' for the perfect person and knock down so many really great people as they see one flaw in the person and think 'nope not right'. I'm not saying you should settle for someone who treats you like utter ... (read in full...)

She's 16, I'm 14 and we almost had sex. She wants to see me again..I love her but I dont know what to do.

Q.   Hi People, I hope you can help me my problem is as follows,; I have just had a boxing day party and this girl was there, she was 16 and i am 13 almost 14, we got chattin and found a few things in common, after a few hours we ended up just lying on...

A.   27 December 2005: Hi there John, Seems like there are a few issues going on that need to be adresed here. Firstly, you said that you 'love her', now I don't mean to be rude, but how can you love her? You barely know her. And she barely knows you. You both had a on... (read in full...)

What questions would you ask your date?

Q.   I would like some input from men and women on this issue. When dating someone, it is customary that you ask questions to get to know the person? Some common questions might be: What drugs have you used, do you drink, do you want children, etc. Is ...

A.   27 December 2005: I think that question can be very inappropiate, especially if the person is a virgin they might get very embarrased, yet, you DO have the right to ask that if you two are gonig to have sex. As you need to know what are the risks of STD's and so on. ... (read in full...)

His roommate is too intimate with my boyfriend and I want her to knock it off!

Q.   So I have been dating a great guy for 5 months but he has a female roommate that is highly inappropriate with him. I know that they have been friends forever and I don't want to get in the way of their friendship, but it's not right for her to be ...

A.   27 December 2005: Talk to him about it, he is your bf and should respect how you feel and do something about it. She is more liekly to listen to him, the friend then you, the 'jealous gf' (as she may see you, but you AREN'T! you have every right to feel that way). He ... (read in full...)

No self-confidence and I'm a virgin at 25. Where do I start?

Q.   Hi, Got a good question. I am 25 and I am a virgin. A pure virgin. Never been kissed, Never had a girlfriend. I have a low self confidence since been bullied at school and I've just watch "The 40 Year Old Virgin". It was very uncomfor...

A.   27 December 2005: What you have went through in life in the past and what is still affecting you now must be terrible. You suffer from severe cases of bullying as a child and probably as you have gotten old feeling excluded, unwanted and unloved. As this has been... (read in full...)

My girlfriend's been acting weird and abusive, then announced she's pregnant... but it's not mine!

Q.   Hi all, I am a guy who is experiencing a terrible time in my life right now. My 'girlfriend' and I have been having problems as of late. Basically here is what is going on. The girlfriend and I fell into bliss love and sex and have been...

A.   27 December 2005: Hey there, Wow seems like you are going through a really really bad time at the moment! Not only are you have finanical difficulties which can create a huggeee amount of stress, your your relationship with your gf isn't going right and you aren... (read in full...)

I don't love my wife any more and now I'm interested in someone else...

Q.   I am a married man of the age of 21, been married for about 2 years and have never cheated on my wife, or done anything ridculous. I haven't loved my wife for so long and just am fed up with her but I feel like I'm falling for someone else I have ...

A.   27 December 2005: You are in a marriage and have been for a couple of years, and aren't in love with her, and I'm going to assume here that you probably never really did, it was arranged. If 2 people are married they are expecting to spend the rest of there live... (read in full...)

I have a month to get over my ex, before I have to see him with his new girlfriend!

Q.   I need some tips on to get over an ex fast! I'm still madly in love with the guy I was with at uni. I haven't even seen him for about 6 months but have loved him and only him for almost 3 years and part of me still hopes that later on in life (wh...

A.   27 December 2005: Hey there, Oh dear, you mustn't be looking forward to the reunion to havign to see someone you care so deeply about with someone else. It hurts alot hey. Yet you have managed somehow to cover up all those feelings so far, so what is going to stop... (read in full...)

I need help to persuade my parents that my boyfriend and I won't have sex while we're alone for a week...

Q.   I'm 16 and my boyfriend's parents are going away for a week. My boyfriend is staying at mine, but I'm on a mattress downstairs and he is in my room. It was a yes to him staying in my room but now they've changed their minds. I don't want to have ...

A.   27 December 2005: Well I think unfortunatly this is a very tricky situation and they might not change there minds! :( Your parents are letting him stay at your house, which shows they must like him somewhat. Over the week he is staying they should get to know him ... (read in full...)

Am I hypervigilant about the behaviours of my new boyfriend?

Q.   Hi--I was just wondering if there was a way one could tell whether you were taking things too seriously or not? Sometimes I get offended by things my bf does and I tell him so and I'm not sure if I make too big a deal out of it but sometimes he ...

A.   26 December 2005: hey there, No, I don't think you are over reacting, you have every right to feel the way you are, yet thats not to say things could be looked at in a more positive light sometimes. First off, the fact that you may be hyperventelating suggests... (read in full...)

My husband's porn addiction is out of control...

Q.   After being maried for only two years, I recently found that my husband is addicted to porn. He will sneak and watch it when I am gone, while he is watching his mother's house and the list goes on. He constantly says he has no money but when I go ...

A.   26 December 2005: Alot of woman are going through the same thing as you, so you aren't alone! This happens far to often in marriages, the husband looks at porn constantly and it upsets his wife, so he does it on the sneaky yet she still knows and is still feeling ... (read in full...)

He seems perfect and our ages aren't an issue to us. Should they be?

Q.   I am 15 and my boyfriend is 21. We started going out and we really didn't ask the whole age question. We got really close and that's when I asked him how old he was. We had sex but I told him I would rather wait because it is safer. He respects that ...

A.   26 December 2005: I think that if you and him are both happy then YES it is ok, in fact great that two people who care for each other so much are together. You are assured that sex won't be an issue, so thats good. He seems to really make you feel great and has reps... (read in full...)

There's this one woman... I can't talk to her because I'm so nervous, so how can I get around to kissing her?

Q.   There is this women I like. She's a friend of one of my co-workers, and well, we have gotten off to a good start, and usually I'm very comfortable around people and can carry a conversation with a man or woman, but around her I get nervous and it ...

A.   26 December 2005: Hey there, When people like someone, more then just a friend, as a potential bf/gf, we tend to feel like you are right now, its perfectly nomral, everyone has those feelings- men, woman, kids, teeangers, young adults, mid age people and older peop... (read in full...)

I'm shy, 28, and never had a relationship with a girl... How can I work up the courage?

Q.   Hi am a 28 year old who has never had a relationship with woman of any kind. Ive seen a girl that I really like but am too shy to approch her i find it really difficult to approch girls is there something wrong with me. I see guys younger than me ...

A.   16 December 2005: Your not weird or unsual, your a person who is just letting their fears take control of them :( Talking to someone, especailly someone who is a potential gf/bf material can be, wait, IS very nerve recking. Some people get to the point that they have... (read in full...)

I'm in love with my best friend

Q.   Hi.Im in love with one of my best guy friend and i can't just let it go..........its been a long time that ive got feeling for him.Hes 24 and Im 19.I cant stop thinking about him.even i dream about him when i go to sleep........ alot of my friends ...

A.   16 December 2005: This is always a tricky situation, and its often feared that the friendship might be ruined if the other person doesn't feel the same way. I think that if you 2 are 'best friends' and really close and haev a healhty relationship, then if he doesnt ... (read in full...)

How do you make a relationship work?

Q.   I am currently 17 and have been dating my boyfriend since we were both 15. We've been through many things and both changed some to make our relationship work, especially making sure we are on the same page regarding maturity. We don't want to be ...

A.   13 December 2005: hello, Thats great that you have a positive and motivated attitude, with that you are pretty much half way there to a successful relationship! As long as you and your partner can go into a relationship with a positive attitude, keen to work hard... (read in full...)

My crazy sister gets home in two weeks... Help!

Q.   I am 30 and my sister is 28. My sister is turning into the crazy woman from the film ‘single white female’. She is currently overseas but her return in 2 weeks is making me extremely anxious, almost to the point of panic attacks. She puts on this ...

A.   13 December 2005: Hello there, I read your post, and almost cried, I have very watery eyes. I feel for you, its horrible what you have been put through and its hard to cope when you feel so powerless. I too have been and well still pretty much are in a situation like... (read in full...)

Does my boss fancy me?

Q.   my boss has recently been very playful with me ,and saying things like i havent seen you today, and saying things like i like you. we were play fighting, and he likes to get in my face, and i have to back away, it kinda makes me nervous. what does ...

A.   12 December 2005: His actions seem very inappropiate and for the fact taht they are making you feel nervous and uncomfortable means that it should stop. Your boss shouldn't be making you feel nervous like that, its not right. You have the right to feel, safe, secu... (read in full...)

How can a guy avoid the dreaded "friendship trap"?

Q.   When getting to know a new girl, how is it possible for a guy to recognise and avoid the dreaded "friendship trap", where the man's advances are taken as friendly and reciprocated as such. i.e. purely platonic. What signals can the guy give to ...

A.   12 December 2005: You can't realy generalise girls or guys actions, especially in a situation as important as this, as its a risk because if you get it wrong then you might miss out the chance of something great. My advice to you is to just be honest with the girl... (read in full...)

Can I ever trust the woman who cheated on me with her lover, even after we reconciled?

Q.   Are my concerns real or imagined paranoia? Can I ever trust my partner again? Will our fears tear us apart? The back story, is that I have been with this girl for over 2 years. This was a long distance relationship for the first year. 1.5...

A.   12 December 2005: Hello there, What this woman has put you through, is absolutly wrong. She has showed no signs of respect, commitment, loyalty and all those equal love. What she's doing is making you feel very paranoid (and thats ok to feel that way) and unlo... (read in full...)

My "perfect" girlfriend wants to take a break to build up a friendship. How do we do that?

Q.   Me and my girlfriend are perfect for each other, we know this, but we rushed into it. Both parents like each other, so that's good. I am almost 21 and she is a senior in high school. We had some difficult times and we argue. She told me that she...

A.   12 December 2005: I can see where your girlfriend is comming from, do you really understand it? Sounds like from what you wrote that you may not get the full idea. Now from what you wrote (and note there isn't that much detail so I'm going from little info... (read in full...)

My friends tease me about my ugly gf-I thinks she's beautiful! What can I do about these friends?

Q.   I have a girlfriend currently but a lot of my friends think she is ugly but i think she's beautiful and i love her. I do get teased sometimes and it really gets on my nerves. what should i do???...

A.   12 December 2005: Either your 'friends' are exstremely shallow people or are simply just jealous. People who put others down and make fun of them do it either for power and control or through the emotion of jealousy, they see someone with somethign they want but they ... (read in full...)

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