I feel we're drifting apart and don't know how to fix things...
Q. I feel we are drifting apart... My boyfriend and I have been friends for 10 years and boyfriend/girlfriend for 7 months. We moved in together 2 months ago. Things were absolutely fine until an unfortunate series of events that began 4 weeks ag...
A. 25 September 2007: Thats alot to go through I must say! I cant even imagine how horrible you must be feeling at the moment. But good on you for asking how to fix things, rather look for a way out of the relationship- that shows courage, commitment and dedication.
... (read in full...)
I preformed oral on her but she never wanted to return the favour. Do you think thats fair?
Q. hi im a 39 year old man im very sexual, i used to eat out my ex girlfreind all the time and she enjoyed it. but every time i would ask her for a blojob she would get upset,do you think this is fair of her? were no longer going out....
A. 24 September 2007: I dont think your ex is being unfair. If she isnt comfortable with doing something then she just isnt. You had a choice to perform oral on her, and you did it. Its not her fault that you had hidden motives- that being you were probbably only doing ... (read in full...)
Does she want me or what I have?
Q. Do girls need material proof for love? I have been with a girl almost 5 months. At the beginning everything was going great. I think she likes me enormously and I her. Now things have started to get difficult. She calls me, we go out or something ...
A. 24 September 2007: Its hard to say from what you have written whether or not shes with you for what you buy for her or for you yoruself!
I guess you have to look at the picture as a whole. You mentioned this one time that she wanted you to buy her a dress...now ... (read in full...)
I saw a text on my boyfriends phone saying another girl was "Hott" and I am pissed!
Q. My and I have been dating for two years. I recently just had a baby and i can honestly say i have let myself go a little. Well the qustion is i was looking through my boyfriends cell phone and saw that he had meet up with an old "friend" and text ...
A. 24 September 2007: I think you had every right to be angry with your bf.
He may say it was harmless and it 'didnt mean anything' but if it wasnt such an important thing for him to say then why did he feel the need?
Although he said what he said, it doesnt mean h... (read in full...)
Can someone who is in love cheat on you?
Q. my byf cheated on my but says it was a mistake and he really loves me. I wont take him back. Is it possible that someone who is in love with you could cheat on u? i reckon he's lieing about his feelings cus the other girl didnt want him in the end. ...
A. 23 September 2007: Sure, a cheater or an abuser or anyone is capable of love. They can feel it, they can have it. But the REAL question is when you are involved in a relationship with someone who does something like cheat, is, is this a healthy loving relationship? in ... (read in full...)
How much "looking" is too much... my partner spent our whole date ogling other women!
Q. OK - I understand guys 'look', and sometimes 'talk' about the other pretty women in the room, but what is 'too much'? Within three hours of a date last night, there were approximately 20 comments from my significant other about the 'arm candy' ...
A. 21 September 2007: what your date did was very insensitive and totaly inappropiate. and just rude. i honestly dont understand why a guy did that, but my ex bf who i went out with for 7 months used to do that...all the time for 7 months! it was torture.
guys ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for husbands and wives to spend a night apart?
Q. My fiancee and I recently did our first pre-marriage counselling session. As a part of it, we did a test, in seperate rooms, that is sent off and then sent back and we see what our areas of strength are and what areas we can work on. One of th...
A. 21 September 2007: Im only 18, so I have no experience in marriage myself, but ive seen my parents marriage last for many many years. they got married when they were 18 and are now in there late 40's...so i think i have something good to talk about :)
my parents ... (read in full...)
I love my boyfriend but I don't feel he loves me as much back. Does anyone else have this problem?
Q. I am in love with my boyfriend, but sometimes I feel he doesn't love me as much as I love him. Does anyone else have this problem, or am I just overreacting?...
A. 21 September 2007: I think lots of people feel this way. Whether or not you really are less loved is a difficult question to answer though. Sometimes it may just be that your partner doesnt show how much they love you, when they do. Or maybe you just dont recognise ... (read in full...)
Would girls go out with someone thats ugly but has a good personality?
Q. would girls go out with someone who is ugly but has a good personality? I'm bein honest here, i'm not very good lookin (and i'm not sayin it so people feel sorry and say i'm negative, its the truth) but i have a good personality. So would popul...
A. 21 September 2007: I find it interesting that you ask would the 'popular girls' go out with a ugly guy who has a good personality. Why are you asking about the popular girls? Generaly the popular girls can be shallow, so therefor they probably woudlnt go out with ... (read in full...)
Was my wife overly promiscuous or fairly normal before we got together?
Q. Was my wife overly promiscuous or fairly normal before we got together?? During High School she had sex with 3 guys. 2 of them were boyfriends and one was a friend who she had a crush on. She had sex a total of 4 times in high school. A few weeks be...
A. 20 September 2007: I can see how knowing that she had a one night stand can be upsetting. It may make you question her values and belefis? You clearly seem to be like the person who is against one night stands and for someone to do that, it gives you doubts in the ... (read in full...)
How can I show others that we're a couple?
Q. I've been in a relationship for 5 months now. My girlfriend is complaining saying that we don't do anything to say that we are in a relationship. We don't really do much as a couple except I go to hers or she comes to mine and the odd occasional ...
A. 17 September 2007: Well you dont have to pay for everything. You could both go halves in dates. Like to the movies, to dinner etc.
But seriously if your gf is making a big deal about it then she seems ab it like a poser. It shoudlnt matter if everyone can tell or ... (read in full...)
She used to give her previous guy oral, but she dosen't want to give it to me. Why?
Q. I have been dating my girlfriend for 8 months. We have a great relationship, physically and otherwise. But she won't give me oral. Originally she wouldn't even allow me to give her oral, but now it is ok. She seems to enjoy it now, but she has only ...
A. 17 September 2007: Have you asked her WHY she wont do it for you?
Have you asked her to do it for you? Maybe she doesnt realise that you want it. Maybe she thought you dindt enjoy it the one time she did it for you, so she didnt offer to do it again.
Maybe s... (read in full...)
Could she be pregnant? I pulled out a few seconds after the condom broke, each time.
Q. I am 16, My girlfiend is 16... we were having sex and two condoms broke in same day (2hours of sex maybee less). *I never came till way after penatration*... The first time it broke I pulled out with in 3-6 to seconds,then i got a new condom and ...
A. 16 September 2007: I would say there could be a very TINY TINY chance she is pregnant. But id say its fairly unlikely. However since there isa slight chance she could be pregnant its important you guys find out soon whether or not she is.
You could go buy a home pre... (read in full...)
Should I forgive him for getting with someone else when we broke up!?
Q. Hey guys, So i just broke up with my ex 5 days ago and last night he made ou with some exchange student hes always telling me that he loves me and i love him soo much too!! Should i forget it happen and forgive him or give him hell for it for...
A. 16 September 2007: I can see how you feel pretty hurt by what he did. However that '2 week rule', ive never really heard of that. The reality is that poeple will get with someone when they want. Your bf may of just done it out of hurt. You said YOU broke up with him, ... (read in full...)
She thinks I've made a big mistake, and now I think she's gone off me! I don't want to lose her! Any advice?
Q. I'm currently dating a fantastic girl. Everything was going perfect for ages until she had to do these important exams.. Her mood totally changed around this time. When we were out she was aloof and detached and unaffectionate. I felt it best to ...
A. 16 September 2007: From what you have said in your updated responses shes def superficial and from my expeirence, superficial people are so hard to be with and it doesnt work out if you arent superfical too. I mean how can it really? Take this as a sign that you two ... (read in full...)
She thinks I've made a big mistake, and now I think she's gone off me! I don't want to lose her! Any advice?
Q. I'm currently dating a fantastic girl. Everything was going perfect for ages until she had to do these important exams.. Her mood totally changed around this time. When we were out she was aloof and detached and unaffectionate. I felt it best to ...
A. 15 September 2007: Hmm her behaviour is rather confusing to me. Perhaps its because the way shes treating you isnt right or healthy? I wouldnt do half the things shes been doing to you. It seems to me shes being too hard on you, immature and disrespectful. Now Im not ... (read in full...)
I was drunk and had sex with my neighbor, I am not sure if it was rape. What should I do?
Q. ok, not too long ago, i was home alone and my family was out on vacation. well one night, i got drunk by myself and then i heard the doorbell, i opened it thinkin it was one of my friends came to visit me. but it was my neighbor, my 58 year old ...
A. 13 September 2007: First of all just let me say that I think its terrible what you have been through. And that old guy took advantage of you! He shoudl not of done that.
Im no expert but as far as I know if you verbally say no to sex but the person still goes a... (read in full...)
My husband rages!
Q. my husband can not control his get and gets irretated for the least things and starts to insult me and threaten me to leave and my daughter how should i behave when he has this rage?...
A. 13 September 2007: You shoudlnt be putting up with it. You should be somehow letting him know that you wont accept such bad behaviour.
He shodulnt be treating you like this and you shoudlnt be staying in a relationship with someone who is abusive like that. Tell him... (read in full...)
I want us both to give up weed... but he thinks I'm trying to change him!
Q. What should I do? I have been together with my boyfriend for a year and 7 months. We have our ups and downs and he is my first serious boyfriend. He is the only person I have ever loved and I can't imagine being with anyone else. The main problem ...
A. 13 September 2007: You have every right to want to be in a relationship free of drugs!!! Hes trying to use the excuse that 'you should love me for who i am and not try to make me change' but thats just lame. Drugs arent WHO HE IS...so you arent changing him really. If ... (read in full...)
He has no self control when in comes to "checking out" other women, although says he loves me.
Q. My boyfriend is allways checking out other women mostly ones with large breasts and butts when he is with me. ( i wounder what he does when i;m not there). there is looking and then there is pathetic constant gawking! I fell emberraced and also ...
A. 11 September 2007: He may very well love you, however whats lacking in this relationship is respect from him to you. And you can't have a healhty loving relationship without respect both ways!
Have you actually asked him to stop doing it? What was his reaction... (read in full...)
How to say to a guy that has treated you well and cared for you that he is not the one?
Q. How to say a guy, that has treated you well, cared about you, was on your side to support you and who you know has feelings for you, that HE IS Simply Not THE Guy you're looking for?? and not to be painful for him? What's the best way? Please, any ...
A. 10 September 2007: Its going to hurt, you cant avoid that sadly. But depending on how you go about it, you may be able to lessen some of the pain.
If I was you I would thank him for all that he has done- treating you right and being a lovely bf. Remind him of all t... (read in full...)
They love me when I am invincible, but as soon as I crack they don't support me. Do guys only like women who are strong?
Q. I know this sounds weird but guys only like me because they think that I am strong and don't put up with their crap. All my bf's always tell me how I am different from other girls (I hate when they say this). How I don't care about the same things ...
A. 10 September 2007: I think whats happeneing in your situation is something that often happens with a child and their mother or father. The parents are always so strong, they seem to have the answers for everything, they always know what to do etc...and they seem like ... (read in full...)
I feel that he needs to give me something valuble materially to show me he cares
Q. I'm really in deep love with this guy, we know each other for only 4 months, but it just feels good.The problem is, that i put so much value on "material" things u know, maybe because im accustumed to it, and had linked them with love which i know ...
A. 10 September 2007: You cant control or change your bf, but what you CAN do is work on yourself. So rather then thinking of changing him into ap erson who gives you presents (material style) think about change YOUR way of thinking. And in all honestly even if you could ... (read in full...)
How would you feel if your boyfriend had several female friends calling him throughout the day?
Q. How would you feel if your boyfriend had several female friends calling him throughout the day?...
A. 9 September 2007: I'd be pretty jealous!!! I think most people would. It would take an EXSTREMELY confident person who is truly happy with themselvs to not get jealous, as well as no hints that there is anything more to the friendships. ... (read in full...)
I get depressed and my guy gets mad.
Q. I have alot of trouble in life so im kinda depressed but not like bad, just when i get mad or embarresed or anything of that sort. i get that depressed look on my face i try not to but it just happens but my problem is i'll be with my boyfriend i'll ...
A. 8 September 2007: It seems to me that the real reason your bf gets mad is because he is upset that you arent telling him when you are realy upset. Although it may only be a 'small problem' or 'nothign' as you said, it still obviously upsets you and he wants to knwo ... (read in full...)
I think my girlfriend of 2 years is going off me?
Q. i was wondering if my relationship is about to end? me and my girl have been going out for two years now we are both 20.we have lived together about 1 year.the past 2 months have been really hard i keep doing romantic things for my girl such as ...
A. 8 September 2007: I can see how you are very confused. On one hand your gf is saying everything is OK, but on the other, her actions are suggesting something completely different!
Lets not jump to negative conclusions though, that will just have you being upset fo... (read in full...)
How do you attract the right kind of guy and stop them messing you around?
Q. hey everyone! So far i havent had very good experiences with guys,they either mess me about or dont seem to notice that i exist! Im going to university in 2 weeks so was wondering, does anyone have any advice on how to attract the right type of gu...
A. 8 September 2007: Depends what you mean by 'mess around'... If you mean they use you for say sex or something, then I would suggest not doing it with them until you have been going out for a fair while... If you mean they treat you badly then its about giving ... (read in full...)
How can he be true to me when he is doing what he is?
Q. Do you think a man can love you if he sleeps with his ex within weeks of you splitting? And then meeting another, 10 yrs older than he, and uses them for sex then tells you he isn't interested in them for anything but sex. He smokes dope with her ...
A. 8 September 2007: Hmm its hard to say if he does love your or not. Its like saying 'does a guy who beats his wife up realy love her?'...I mean he is human, he is CAPABLE of love. He could very well love her. However eveeryone has their own meaning for love, some not ... (read in full...)
He's never cheated on me but when he left his phone at my house there were texts on it from another girl!!!
Q. hi... I've been with my boyfriend for a while now. He tells me he has never cheated on any of his ex's, and I believe him. Recently I've been on holiday for 3 weeks, when I got back he told me he'd really missed me and been so bored while I was ...
A. 7 September 2007: Hmmm it does sound suss to me. However you said he didnt reply. How do you know this? Did you check his 'sent' or 'outbox' folder? And there was no messages to her? He may of deleted them or he may not record them at all in his phone...However you ... (read in full...)
My Boyfriend hasn't texted all day. Is this normal?
Q. Is it normal in a relationship for your partner to have the odd day where they don't contact you at all? My boyfriend hasn't texted me at all today you see. I have this romantic ideal where the guy beats a path to your door all the time but I ...
A. 7 September 2007: I know every other person so far as told you you are being unrealsitic, but I beg to differ.
I can understand the point that people need there space and need alone time etc...however you can still send a message or quickly call your partner ... (read in full...)
My ex was very manipulative but I get jealous when I see him getting on with his life. What's wrong with me?
Q. Please help! I broke up with my boyfriend three months ago and I was very relieved as he was a manipulative person with my life and what he thought I had to do professionaly speaking. We live close and have since talked a little and on July saw each ...
A. 6 September 2007:
It may be hard to see him move on because he really hrut you and possibly messed up some of your life. You are still suffering from the abuse from him. So your life still pretty much sucks...but he, the abuser is being all happy. It seems pret... (read in full...)
It is now week 3 and he has yet again began ignoring me and I really do not understand why or what his reasons are...
Q. Hi can anybody help? my ex and I broke up just over 2 weeks ago, I love him very much and am hurting greatly, all my attempts at making contact were ignored - the first week after we parted and I knew I had to let go, we began chatting online last ...
A. 6 September 2007: Who ended the relationship? Him? Or was it something you both agreeed to?
Of course your hurting, thats totaly understandable, but it gets A LOT easier! And it dosnt have to take years like it does for some people either. You could get over thi... (read in full...)
I don't want my bf getting sucked into his ex's dramas!!
Q. An old girlfriend tried to I.M. my b/f tonight while we were on the computer downloading some music. He chose the "do not accept" this person as an I.M. buddy, but I was still upset that she's contacting him. He claims he hasn't talked to her and ...
A. 6 September 2007: I can see how this would be very upsetting for you. It must feel like in someway your bf cant let go and if he cant let go of his exs it makes you think all these thoughts like maybe he still has feelings for them and so on?
Especialy cons... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesnt buy me presents and ignores important occasions
Q. Ok, in terms of problems this maybe isnt huge but it is playing on my mind a bit. i have been with my boyfreind for 2 years now...and he just doesnt treat me with the same care and attention he used to. Yesterday was my 23rd birthday....and i got ...
A. 5 September 2007: I can understand your disapointed. Its not as if all presents cost heaps and if he was so low on cash, he could of still made something, like even a card he doesnt even have to buy. But perhap he just isnt that creative? afterall he is a mmale and ... (read in full...)
Our relationship is based on fun and non-commitment but I expect a bit of respect and time from him. Any ideas?
Q. I have been having an affair with a man for 9 months. He is never going to leave his girlfriend for me but I have accepted that. However, in the past few weeks he has become distant. When we do meet it is as good and as fun as always but we are not ...
A. 5 September 2007: You want respect? How about your give some respect to his gf! Seriously, how can you complain about not geting respect when you arent giving it to peopel? Im a big believer in the saying 'treat others how you want to be treated'. If you are going to ... (read in full...)
Had sex with my twin sister's husband. Not sure if I should tell my sister or wait to see if I'm preganant...
Q. Hi my name is Stacy. I need some advice. I have had sex with my twin sister's husband. I do not know if I should tell her or not. I know it is wrong for me to have done that. The first time it was only anal sex just because I was curious and my ...
A. 5 September 2007: I think thats a bit weird that your sisters husband would take his condom off...knowing he could get your pregnant...then it would be obvious for your sister to find out. Makes me wonder whether he wants to hide it from her or not. What did you ... (read in full...)
I insulted my girlfriend while drunk! How do I redeem myself?
Q. I recently sent a text message to my girlfriend that was taken out of context. She replied and I was drunk and said some really really mean things I wish I didn't say. I hurt her very badly. Is there anyway I can try to redeem myself? I do not want ...
A. 5 September 2007: The best way to redeem yourself would be to be truly sorry. Accept and face what you did, it was a mistake. And show regret. I think you have already done this, so thats good! A lot of people arent able to admit when they make mistakes or admit that ... (read in full...)
How can you tell if you really love someone and its not just a crush?
Q. How can you tell if you really love someone and its not just a crush????...
A. 5 September 2007: Like Duce said, you can tell if you really love someone once you are past the 'warm and fuzzy stage', also known as the 'honeymoon stage'. If you arent sure what that is, its the early stages in a relationship where everythign seems perfect, you ... (read in full...)
I don't want my bf getting sucked into his ex's dramas!!
Q. An old girlfriend tried to I.M. my b/f tonight while we were on the computer downloading some music. He chose the "do not accept" this person as an I.M. buddy, but I was still upset that she's contacting him. He claims he hasn't talked to her and ...
A. 5 September 2007: Personaly I think you're bf needs to step up and be a man. He needs to tell his ex gf off. They broke up for a good reason and shes in the past...she doesnt need to be in his future. He can be friends with anyone he wants to be, he doesnt need her ... (read in full...)
Many talk about writing a letter to their ex but what about sending it?
Q. Everyone (my friends, advice columnists on the internet, etc.) seem to think that WRITING a letter to your ex can be an extremely useful exercise to get some of your emotions out and help you to move on. That said, no one seems to think that SE...
A. 4 September 2007: I guess the reason why people say to never send it is because in the letter you are suppose to basicaly pour your whole heart out. You can be as nasty as you want. Say whatever you want! So thats why they probably recomend you dont send it. However ... (read in full...)
I don't want my bf getting sucked into his ex's dramas!!
Q. An old girlfriend tried to I.M. my b/f tonight while we were on the computer downloading some music. He chose the "do not accept" this person as an I.M. buddy, but I was still upset that she's contacting him. He claims he hasn't talked to her and ...
A. 4 September 2007: I think that it would work better if she heard it from your bf, rather than you. If she hears it from you, she could just think you are being a jealous gf, and still think that your bf wants to have contact with her if he isnt saying it to her. So ... (read in full...)
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