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Was I sexually assaulted?

Q.   Was I sexually assaulted? Long story short 2 years ago at uni a couple of years ago I fell out with someone I was in halls with. (We're both male). He had previously told me he fancied me.One night I tried to make up with him by having a mat...

A.   26 June 2008: You said "What if he didnt realise I was asleep/passed out?"- its HIS RESPONSBILITY when commiting a sexual act to someone to make sure they are in the right frame or mind (awake and not intoxicated etc...) to give consent. If he doesnt do that, ... (read in full...)

Was I sexually assaulted?

Q.   Was I sexually assaulted? Long story short 2 years ago at uni a couple of years ago I fell out with someone I was in halls with. (We're both male). He had previously told me he fancied me.One night I tried to make up with him by having a mat...

A.   25 June 2008: Yes you were sexually assaulted. What this guy did to you was 100% wrong. It is illegal to have sex with somoene who isnt concious or under the influence or drugs or alcohol so much that they cant say yes or no. The fact that he broke down your... (read in full...)

I depend too much on my boyfriend, how can I change this?

Q.   I have a problem regarding my social life. Seems like my only social life is my bf. I have no friends, because 1) Most of them moved away for college 2) The ones that stayed and I have grown apart, and got into different interests. 3...

A.   25 June 2008: Hey, Its not ok for your bf to be so jealous to the extent at which is controls you. You having no friends or 'life' outside of your relationship with your bf is not healthy, which im sure you are aware of as its having negative effects on you. ... (read in full...)

Would girls date a guy that looks way younger than his age?

Q.   I'm almost 24, and I've never been in a relationship, nor have I ever been approached by women. Part of this is because I've never tried flirting with girls due to my inability to keep conversations going, but I believe the big reason is because I ...

A.   25 June 2008: Hey, I dont think a girl would turn down a guy just because he looks younger then what he is. In fact, I think it would be great to date somoene who looks alot younger because if you get married to the guy, when he turns 50, he'll still look rea... (read in full...)

Should I lose my virginity before going to Uni?

Q.   Hi, I'm 18 and will be going to university in September. I'm still a virgin, although nearly lost my virginity with a boyfriend last year. He was also a virgin and was too nervous, so it was impossible. I'm really worried about the rumours about ...

A.   24 June 2008: The fact that you are even thinking about having sex just because of what other people will think suggests that you arent mature enough yet to be making such a big decision. And I dont meant that in a harsh mean way saying your immature either. But ... (read in full...)

I've started feeling really paranoid about him checking out 'XXX' sites

Q.   I'm 18 and my boyfriend is 19 and i just needed some advice. Is it ok if he browses for girls to check out on sites such as myspace? And he also goes on a site where people put up sexy videos and pics. I have a feeling he gets off to them. I dont...

A.   24 June 2008: If I was in your position id be pretty upset too!!! So dont feel like you are overeacting, although if you confront your bf he may like to try and make you feel and think that you are just making a big deal out of nothing. I understand why you ... (read in full...)

Do all men manipulate you when you are vulnerable?

Q.   I have found in two long term relationships with men that as I get to know them and I start to talk more openly about my feelings and vulnerable aspects of my thoughts or personality they use those very things to either undermine me in an argument ...

A.   23 June 2008: Not all men, or women will take advantage of someone like guys have done to you. But I think alot will. Its sad that many people, when given the chance will do that. However, not eveyrone does it, thats why its important you do not accept s... (read in full...)

My BF makes it sound that every problem we have is my fault. How to make him understand how I am feeling without him threatening to break up or blaming me?

Q.   Okay this may be a long post but I need some advice. I've been with my boyfriend for 10 months now and have put so much into our relationship and trying to make things work here lately but I feel like its a waste of emotion and time. My boyfriend ...

A.   23 June 2008: "Just because somebody lies and just because somebody acts shady doesn't mean you should throw them out like yesterdays trash and give up on them." Um doesnt he threaten to dump you???? Everytime you fight he makes that threat. seems to me like ... (read in full...)

Can men tell if a woman has low self confidence?

Q.   Can men tell if a women has low self confidance? I have low self confidance and it seems all the guys I go out with ethier dump me in a few weeks {the normal ones} Or I end up with some jerk that hits me and takes advantage of me. How can I let men ...

A.   23 June 2008: Yes, when someone is low in confidence it is very easy to see. Thats why people with low self confidence often end up being the tartget of abusers, as abusers can tell they have little self esteem, so they are more likely to put up with abuse. A... (read in full...)

My BF makes it sound that every problem we have is my fault. How to make him understand how I am feeling without him threatening to break up or blaming me?

Q.   Okay this may be a long post but I need some advice. I've been with my boyfriend for 10 months now and have put so much into our relationship and trying to make things work here lately but I feel like its a waste of emotion and time. My boyfriend ...

A.   23 June 2008: To the original poster- I do not belevieve that Ask Older Sister who called your bf a narcissist was trying to 'bash him'. If a counsellor lables a person a narcissist or something that is not bashing is it?! You seem like you are in denial to... (read in full...)

As we started seeing each other again, I see he has not changed at all hsi unreasonable jealousy - yet I want to get him back and earn his trust?

Q.   This is a bit of a long one..I hope you take the time to read bc I am in need of some advice My ex and I were in a relationship for 3 years..we had our fair share of ups and downs due to his jealous nature..he would always accuse me of cheating o...

A.   22 June 2008: You cant earn a insecure person's trust. They arent insecure because of you or what you do. They are insecure because they arent secure WITHIN THERESELF. Its all about them. So until he works on why hes so insecure and does some deep thinking and ... (read in full...)

My BF makes it sound that every problem we have is my fault. How to make him understand how I am feeling without him threatening to break up or blaming me?

Q.   Okay this may be a long post but I need some advice. I've been with my boyfriend for 10 months now and have put so much into our relationship and trying to make things work here lately but I feel like its a waste of emotion and time. My boyfriend ...

A.   22 June 2008: Your bf is abusing you darling!!! What he is doing is soooooo wrong and you deserve to have a bf who is not like this at all. His blaming you for everything, the put downs and name calling, the lies, threats (to break up with you) and disrespe... (read in full...)

Does he like me now or was it just in the past?

Q.   i have this friend and he is like my best friend and i know for a fact he liked me in the past. i think i like him more then a friend now but see i dont want to mess up are friendship. he is a wonderful friend and i dont want to lose him over ...

A.   22 June 2008: If you like your best friend and wanta bf then I think you should go for your friend!!! If he liked you in the past, I bet he still likes you! He might just not make it obvious as he prob thinks you dont like him. If your friendship is st... (read in full...)

She told me she was raped by an ex when she was drunk. What should I do or believe?

Q.   the mother of my child told me after 2 and a half years of seeing each other she was raped by an ex when she was drunk. she dosent really know excactly what happened but it has left her in a bad way what sould i do or belive?...

A.   22 June 2008: Why dont you believe her? Why would she make something up like that? ... (read in full...)

We were stupid and the condom came off....

Q.   hi, i had sex my bf last week saturday 12/06 and we have used condom.but for some reason we stopped using it so he put his pennis inside me for abut three second. is der any chance of me getting pregnant.my last period was on the 3rd june. plz help...

A.   21 June 2008: Yes there is a chance, although I think its very slim. I know its scary when there is a chance you could be pregnant, so to put your mind at risk, go buy a home pregnancy test from the shop and use it as directed. You might have to wait so many... (read in full...)

I feel such a loser, why did I have to take the bitterest end of this?

Q.   I'm breaking apart. I'm such a loser. My bf broke up with me on tuesday, because he said that he was fed up with the relationship not working, that he loved me but this was just too much. What happened? A long time ago he asked about my past, ...

A.   19 June 2008: Awww I'm so sorry for what you are going through!!! First off, I think you are WAYYYYYY better off without your abusive ex bf. Think of him dumping you as a favour. You werent realy happy in that relationship were you? I mean he was abusive-... (read in full...)

Is this abusive behavior. I feel useless !

Q.   After a wonderful one year relationship i moved in with my girlfriend. Now it seems i can't do anything right. She criticizes me for the littlest things like how i fold the bathroom towels, the way i wash up and dry, how i make the bed, where i ...

A.   19 June 2008: Do you answer yes to any of the following questions? If so, they are HUGE warning signs you are in an abusive relationship. -do you feel nervous around your boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner? -do you have to be careful to control your behaviou... (read in full...)

I'm really hoping there's another option I have completely overlooked, is there, or do I just stay unhappy?

Q.   This is gonna be long. I have a lot of concepts to convey. First off, I have a severe anxiety disorder, stemming from events (not sexual) in my childhood. This leaves me extremely fearful, often to the point of panic attacks, when dealing with...

A.   18 June 2008: There is one option you havent mentioned. Rather then avoiding your anxiety disorder why not try and deal with it? It sounds like you might be on medication or something already, but have you tried talking to a professional???? In my opinion, ... (read in full...)

What's the main reason men cheat?

Q.   Y do MOST men CHEAT? What gives them a reason to have more than 1 women? I no theres alot of reason but whats the MAIN reason? Does SEX plays a BIG role in a relationship?...

A.   17 June 2008: The thing in common that ALL cheaters (men and women) have in common is insecurity, low self esteem, not much self worth and/or a high need for attention, affirmation and a desperate need for an ago boost! People cheat because they dont feel hap... (read in full...)

Do you think it's okay for a 19 year old to party till late or travel to a different city with friends?

Q.   I would like to know your opininon for the following question 1) Do you think its okay for a 19 year old to party out with her friends until late in the night (say about 3 am) 2) Does she have the right to plan a trip with her friends to a dif...

A.   17 June 2008: Hmm thats a hard one. I know how you feel. When I was 18, I started to do things my parents didnt really like. Such as going out clubbing and partying till the early hours of the morning (like 6am!) and seeing my first boyfriend. I wanted to sleep ... (read in full...)

Would a man get this involved if he just wanted weekend fun?

Q.   Hi all, looking for a male pespective probably more than anything but all advice/comments welcome. I have been with my bf for a year now ( we're late 30's)and live an hours drive away. We have wonderful times together, great sex life and laugh a lot ...

A.   17 June 2008: No I dont think he would get as involved if he just wanted weekend fun. He must see something very special in you, to go to the effort of driving to see you and keeping in contact. Long distance relationships are hard and if he only wanted f... (read in full...)

Is there any way you can tell your boyfriend loves you?

Q.   Is there any way you can tell your boyfriend loves you? I know i love my boyfriend and im pretty sure he loves me but is there any way you can tell for sure so im not just assuming it. thxx for any opinions!!!...

A.   17 June 2008: Actions speak louder then words. One of the best pieces of advice I have ever heard was that you should pay attention to how a guy acts, not to what he says, as any guy can say "I love you", but only few special guys can actually act like they love ... (read in full...)

I'm not ready for sex but should I have let him do it between my boobs?

Q.   I'm still a virgin but my bf really wants to have sex with me. I'm not ready but I do love him so last night I let him talk me into having sex between my boobs (boy is that messy). Will a guy be happy with something like that or is he just going to ...

A.   17 June 2008: You're so young darling, you shouldn't have to be making big decisions like this. Thats why its illegal to be having sex at your age. I cant say whether or not it was right of you to let him do what he did. The more important thing to think ab... (read in full...)

I want to have an affair but I don't know where to look for someone else?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been having problems and he never gives me attention. I want to have an affair but I dont know where to look for someone else. Any advice? I cant go to a bar becasue I am 18....

A.   17 June 2008: I dont think anyone here is going to give you tips on where to find a guy to have an affair with. I understand that geting attention from your bf is a very important part of your relationship. However, if you look for that attention outside ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend doesn't want to have sex. Help please!

Q.   Hi, my girlfriend doesn't want to have sex with me at the moment. Its been since last sunday that we had sex. I am really frustrated, but trying not to let it show. I asked her what was wrong and she claims that she has no sex drive. 2 days ag...

A.   15 June 2008: I can understand why you may be worrying, even though its only be a week. The point is, how long will it last??? And it seems you are taking this very personally which is understandable. You must feel like there is something wrong with you because ... (read in full...)

My BF is a very abusive person, swears at me and even tried to strangle me. Is he iterating his father's violent behaviour?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have always had a great relationship but recently he's started to sort of bully me..ie pushing me pull my hair etc, nothing to serious. However, the violence seemed to escalate further just last week as we had been out at a pa...

A.   11 June 2008: Omg, this is not right at all! This relationship is wrong on all levels. Its dangerous and you should leave NOW! Not tomorrow, not next week, today! Yes the reasons behind your bf's abuse is probably due to his childhood, however LOTS of people c... (read in full...)

Am I being just another married man who wants to have his cake & eat it?

Q.   I should start by saying that this is going to sound very stupid coming from a 57 year old man, but it is honestly causing me a great dilemma. Over the last 6 years we have spent many fantastic holidays in Phuket, staying in the same res...

A.   10 June 2008: "should keep in touch in case I am ever in a position to do as she wants?" Marriage is commitment for life and you have a wife who you made that commitment too. Yes, these days geting a divorce is sooooo easy and people tend to take marriage... (read in full...)

Spotted Dick. Has he got his just desserts for cheating?

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a bit and we always had a great sex life until he started a new job as a labourer. Since then we've had sex about 10 times in the last 7months!! He says he doesn't want to have sex because he keeps...

A.   10 June 2008: There is a chance it could be an STD or it may not be. The only way you can know is if your guy gets himself checked out at the doctors. If your bf is saying he doesnt want to have sex because of the spots, then what does he think they are? If ... (read in full...)

It's that time of year when the girls start exposing more flesh... Do they mind it when the boys start looking?

Q.   It's that time of year in the northern hemisphere when girls' tops get a bit more revealing and boys start looking a bit more. So, sticking to the topic of hemispheres, how do girls feel when boys check out their boobs? Is it fun? Is more than ...

A.   10 June 2008: When its obvious a guy is checking a girl out, she may take it as a compliment. But when its clear that hes admirering her boobs and not her pretty face she might not be so happy. And staring at a girls boobs would make most girls think the guy ... (read in full...)

I am tired of him and want out of this relationship!!

Q.   my boyfriend and i have been together for 2 and a half years. we get into arguments about three times a week. its not just a regular little argument he gets to throwning stuff around breaking my stuff to make me mad. punching wholes in the ...

A.   10 June 2008: What your bf is doing is abuse and its in no way acceptable. He may not be physically hurting you, but this is still abuse. Often physical abuse does start with the abuser damaging the abusers items (such as your car) and throwing things around the ... (read in full...)

Is he in it for the sex or does he also have feelings for me?

Q.   hi im writing for some desperate advice..im 25 years old and me and my guy friend have been best friends for 5 years now... im deeply in love with him and i have indeed revealed this to him already but he claimed he didnt want to break up the ...

A.   6 June 2008: "you have to have some desire for them, some "feelings" for them right?" well not always. females connect sex with deeper feelings, where as with males, they dont always do that. for some people all they need is a physical attraction. ... (read in full...)

Is he in it for the sex or does he also have feelings for me?

Q.   hi im writing for some desperate advice..im 25 years old and me and my guy friend have been best friends for 5 years now... im deeply in love with him and i have indeed revealed this to him already but he claimed he didnt want to break up the ...

A.   6 June 2008: Hmmm this is a hard one. Considering you have been friends for 5 years would suggest that he does care for you and value you as a person as the friendship has lasted so long. However the fact that he isnt willing to commit to a real relationshi... (read in full...)

How can I have feelings for a stranger? Is it even feelings or just curiousity?

Q.   Well I dont know quite how to start out with my question. I guess I just need some advice. Well, I guess you could say I kinda have feelings for a guy I dont know at all. See, I work at a pharmacy and there is this guy who came into my work about a ...

A.   6 June 2008: Its very normal to have feelings for a stranger. What you are experiencing is a crush. A crush is where you have feelings on someone who you dont know at all or know very little about, its where you build them up in your head, they are like a f... (read in full...)

How can I make my BF break up with me?

Q.   Yellow. well, I have this amazing boyfreind. he is PERFECT. he cares about me, treats me well and all. but he lives in a different state. And I've realised, that i dont want to be with him. Not now though, maybe after i graduate from college. ...

A.   1 June 2008: You said you dont want to hurt him by breaking up with him, well doing it your way would hurt him too! If you do something so horrible to him to make him break up with you, thats hurting him stil and in fact probably more. I think he would rather ... (read in full...)

I've cheated on him, but I really do love him!

Q.   Okay so i've been dating this guy for a year on and off and i've cheated on him more than once, but I really do love him and I'm not entirely sure why I've done it. But I know I'd never do it again, but now he doesn't trust me and he wants me to ...

A.   1 June 2008: Knowing what caused it is solving half the battle! You cant possibly make a promise that you will never cheat on him again if you dont even know why you did it. You need to understand why you did it, and realise what lead you to it. Then once you... (read in full...)

He didn't add me to his list of friends. I don't know what to do.

Q.   I dont know wat to do.. i am dating, well i dnt kno if he is my bf. but i asked him to add me to his facebook and he never did. and i was snooping on his facebook like looking at this friends. and i saw this one girl's profile. well there is like ...

A.   31 May 2008: Hmm this is a rather confusing situation isnt it! I admit its odd that he didnt accept your friend request on facebook. But is it possible that he hasnt been on his facebook since you sent the request? Does his page list any activity after yo... (read in full...)

Could my fiance be cheating on me if he hasn't had sex with me for 2 months?

Q.   Should I be worried if my fiance hasn't had sex with me for 2 months? I give him oral sex, but it also, is very rarely returned. I didn't think a male could go for that long without it. Is he cheating on me?...

A.   31 May 2008: It is a possibility but there are other reasons why sometimes poeple withdraw from sex. Could be due to depression or maybe he has a hormonal imbalance which is decreasing his sex drive? ... (read in full...)

Should I send him a "congratulations on your divorce" card to his parents to let him know that he has no power and control to stop the divorce, and to let him know that I am no longer his stupid little wife?

Q.   my ex was a horrible nasty piece of work and loves to control and is a power freak but since december (just gone) i have stood up to him and given him abit of his own medicine!! see how he likes to be abused although i only gave him about 1% of the ...

A.   31 May 2008: The relationship may be over but the effects of the relationship are still to come. And it may take sometime for you to heal from this. I understand why you want to send that note. Your ex hurt you so badly and treated you so wrong. Forever ... (read in full...)

My best friend likes a girl and I'm playing cupid to find out if she also nurtures feelings for him. Any suggestions?

Q.   hey, ok my mate(a lad) really likes this girl he's at college with. She seems like nice girl, i've spoke to her on the odd occasion but now we've started talking more i've got her msn. Thing is we are becoming beter friends and talking more so what ...

A.   30 May 2008: So you are trying to find out if this girl likes your friend so you can tell him so he knows whether or not its safe to make a move on her?? You could start by casually bringing up the guy in conversations with her, and see how she speaks o... (read in full...)

Is cybersex classed as cheating?

Q.   when i was with my boyfriend i was having cybersex online with another man, is it cheating? ...

A.   30 May 2008: Yes that is cheating. Cheating isnt just physically having sex with someone else other then your partner. It can include- -kissing -touching -dirty dancing -talking dirty -sexual intercorse and oral sex -talking to another person other the... (read in full...)

I have not started my period yet and am worried...

Q.   i am slightly worried i have not started my period yet and i am in year nine but my discharge has started going brown should i be worried ? i need some advice thanks ............

A.   30 May 2008: Some girls dont get their period until they are 16 or even 18. So you not having yours yet does not mean that there must be something wrong with you or to worry about. Have you developed boobs yet? If not then you are probably a late develope... (read in full...)

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