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female
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*arahbum
writes: I'm 16 and my boyfriend's parents are going away for a week. My boyfriend is staying at mine, but I'm on a mattress downstairs and he is in my room. It was a yes to him staying in my room but now they've changed their minds. I don't want to have sex with him but we both want to cuddle together each night. How can I persuade my parents to trust us not to do anything? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2008): im 16 and my parents wont even let me stay at my fella's i have told her that im not ready for sex and she needs to start trusting me on these things. my boyfriend is 22 and he told me that when im ready then he's ready. he has had sex before but he said he would wait until i was ready. it really pisses me off coz i dont get to spend much time with him. i have tried talking to them loads of times but they just dnt listen to me. x
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female
reader, $bbylea$  +, writes (13 December 2008):
 im 16 and my parents wont even let me stay at my fella's i have told her that im not ready for sex and she needs to start trusting me on these things. my boyfriend is 22 and he told me that when im ready then he's ready. he has had sex before but he said he would wait until i was ready. it really pisses me off coz i dnt get to spend much time with him. i have tried talking to them loads of times but they just dont listen to me. x
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reader, jenz1992 +, writes (8 September 2008):
For the benifit of the people who are saying that boys can't control their hormones, they can. If the 2 of them want to lie together all night then good on them. I wish my parents would let me.Obviously if your parents say no then you have to respect that but assuming that because she is 16, she is automatically sex obbessed is unfair coz a lot of teenager actually do love their partners and care about more than sex
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2008): Why dont you just go to sleep on the couch with him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2008): well im 17, nearly 18 and my mum lets my bf stay over,BUT she wont let him stay in my room or even the spare bedroom upstairs. He's not allowed im my room with me downstairs but he has to be downstairs. Yet she will let us sleep in a tent together. Cant say i can work that one out. Does she think that to have sex it has to be 1) at night 2) in a bed and 3) in a bedroom.
Another thing if my boyfriend was to stay in my room we wud not have sex. I mean my mum and dads bedroom is next door to mine and out of respect i would not have sex with my boyfriend why they were in the house. Yes me and my boyfriend do have sex and we do always use protection, but really it is possible to have sex during the day time. My boyfriends parents have been away for the past week and my mum never questioned me when i was going round his after college and work. Again apparently sex is only possible at night.
All me and my boyfriend want to do is fall asleep lying next to each other and waking up to each other. Is this such a crime.
So i can totally see where your coming from.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2008): just have a talk with your parents and tell them not 2 worry
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2007): First thing's first. Yes, if you are a UK resident at 16, you are considered to be an adult with the right to give consent. I don't know what on earth the poster who believes she must give consent to her children is on about, perhaps that's just wishful thinking.In this situation, you have to realise that your parents are worried about you getting yourself into an emotional and physical connection with this guy when you're just not ready for it, aside from the obvious worry that they think you might get pregnant.You really need to sit down and talk to your parents frankly about how you feel about sex. Tell them you're not ready. I'm sure they won't believe you because parents seem to forget a lot of the time that teenagers actually aren't going around looking for sex the whole time. So if that doesn't work, then you need to at least convince them that when you are ready to have sex, you intend to be safe. That really is all you can do. Parents won't listen to logic when it comes to protecting their kids.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2007): heyyi'm going on 17 in november and my parents are sooo gay. I live probably 15 min drive outside of town in the middle of nowhere and my curfew is like 1. If i have to work till 10 that doesn't give us a lot of time to hang out especially with travel time. So sleeping over at his house seems like the best option sometimes, especially when we want to go to partys and he can't drive me home cuz hes drinking. My dad says that im only 16 and that im too young to stay over at his house, its not my fault i have a late birthday and i won't be 17 for another 5 months. They have to realize that nothing is going to happen between cuz because we are both very responsible, and that if we really wanted to have sex, we could always do it during the day, rather then at night over at his house..GOD why do parents suck???
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2007): well i'm also 16 and kinda of in the same situation. i've slept over my boyfriends house a couple times...in different rooms ofcourse..and i've been down the shore for the weekend with his family. we've been going out for a year now. i wanted to go to the shore with him and stay overnight but there wouldnt be any parents becuase we would be staying at his brother (age 21) and sisters (19) shore house. ofcourse my parents wouldnt let me stay over ngiht..but at least i got to go for the day. i was pissed off at them all week and barely talked to them at all. and that didnt help one bit. i dont understand much of it yet..but im guessing youll just have to trust that parents are doing the right thing. i know it sucks..but the best you can do is show them how mature you are and maybe their trust in you will grow...
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2007): I'm in the same situation nearly and the same age, try to convince your parents, depending on what they're like, they might change their minds, they must trust you to some extent.
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reader, mystify +, writes (4 January 2006):
 i would just like to point out that although a couple of people have said that it is legal for you and your boyfriend to have sex, it is in fact simply the age of consent so you still must have their permission, i am a mother of 2 and i know that i would not give that permission to my children as i would like to promote to them and teach them good morals and values which is what your parents are doing so repect to them for being superb parents and count your blessing that they care.
when i was 16 my boyfriend was never allowed to stay over but he was allowed over till 10.30 and we would just lay in each others arms hugging till then, then wed go our separate ways sleep then call on each first thing i couldnt of imagined it being any better
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reader, llqueen +, writes (27 December 2005):
Girl, come on. I am 26 years old and if my boyfriend and I went to stay at my parents house, no way would my dad let us sleep together. Get real. You are a 16 year old child and your parents are only looking out for you. Be grateful that they are even letting him stay at your house. Most parents wouldn't even do that. I would say you have pretty cool parents. You should try appreciating that.
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reader, iloveamy +, writes (27 December 2005):
You might not be wanting to have sex with your boyfriend, but you've got to respect your parents wishes I'm afraid.
I am 24 and my girlfriend is 22, if I stay at her parents I have to sleep in the spare room...I have to respect their wishes because it is their house.
On the other hand, my parents are totally fine about us sleeping together - so we do at mine.
I think that if you respect what they say this time, it might be different next time - maybe not...but its not worth making them mad...If you know what I mean.
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reader, Tinkz  +, writes (27 December 2005):
 My angel, i'm 21 and my parents to don't allow my BF to sleep in my room, let alone my bed.
You must try and understand that they only have your best interest at heart.
Sure you say you don't want to have sex with him, but he is male and unfortuneatly males can't always control there hormones, especially at that age.
I know that cuddling turns me on and i'm 21.
Don't pressure your parents, if you really want to cuddle, then stay up late on the couch under a blanket till the sun comes up, that is more special than on a bed where you can be tempted in dissappointing your parents.
It will also allow you and your boyfriend to get to know each other on a deeper emotional level.
And if you happen to fall asleep on the couch in your boyfriends arms, and your parents happen to walk in then rather let them think you fell asleep watching TV, than walking in while you in bed and thinking you were "doing the nasty"
There are always ways to get around it, just use your head logically.
Hope i helped
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reader, chloe +, writes (27 December 2005):
well i no that im only 16 my self so i can understand where your coming from, but, your parents are always goin to be heavier in you since you are now " legal" but your parents are like all parents they dont want to get bitten i the year with the news that your "expecting" just be lucky that he is allowed to stay at all this still shows that your parents do trust you to a certain extent any way you have my wishes let me know how you get on goog luck!!! (p.s don't be bothering your parents abaout it otherwise they might chinge their minds!!!)
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reader, happytochat  +, writes (27 December 2005):
Well I think unfortunatly this is a very tricky situation and they might not change there minds! :(
Your parents are letting him stay at your house, which shows they must like him somewhat. Over the week he is staying they should get to know him better and even trust him and you, perhaps you could use this week as an advantage for him and you being able to share a bed next time he stays over. Its something that will take time for your parents to actually let you guys do, but in time it can happen as they grow to trust and realise that you will make the right choices for yourself.
And like mommyofthree said, my parents wont even let my bf's sleep in the house neverless in a different room. When I was 16 they were like 'we will give him a tent to sleep out side in', lol. Ok so count your blessings and work your way up to your parents permission for you both to sleep in the same bed. Your already half way there, letting him be in the house and stay the night, I mean there is always the risk you will sneak into his bed, but they must trust that you won't do that.
So just give it some time and work on the trust. Also showing them that you are mature enough to make right and good choices in life for you will make it better as well.
good luck and hope it all goes wel lfor you and have fun that week!
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reader, mommyofthree +, writes (26 December 2005):
 I think your parents are being very resonable letting him stay at your house in the first place. I doubt that there is any way to convince them that you won't do anything. I also feel that telling them you just want to cuddle will not make it much better. They are just trying to do their jobs and protect you as much as they can, and while you are under their roof they probably would rather you did not cuddle all night or anything else. Trust me you are lucky, when I was your age my parents would have let my boyfriend sleep outside in the snow before they let him stay at my house over night in any room! Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2005): are you both 16 if so its legal and your not doing anything wrong if you were to have sex try explaining that too them. alsp does your b/f have to stay at yours if not why dont you go round his instead?
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reader, danb +, writes (26 December 2005):
Tell your parents exacly this and address them when your both togather.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2005): Good Luck....
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reader, Shelly2006 +, writes (26 December 2005):
Frist off if I were your parent I would not let this happen either. Yopu nor your boyfriend can garantee that you two will not have sex. You just can't you cansay you don't want to now but how can that be a guarantee? Can yopu truly tell me that you will not have sex with your boyfriend if you both wanted to you would be able to stop in whatever proceedings were takeing place and walk away no matter how much you wanted it are how good it felt? You should really reconsider being that close and alone with someone who you have feelings for . For you can't know what situations may arise while your all cuddled up alone and warm in each others arms.
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reader, princeess1111 +, writes (26 December 2005):
Are you sure that nothing is going to happen? I am around your age and being in your situation is what caused me to have sex.Sometimes temptation is really strong.However I think your parents trust you but are afraid of the temptation.If you are sure nothing is going to happen then talk to your parents about the situation and try to work out a comprimise.
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