Is it possible to have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder after an emotionally abusive relationship?
Q. Is it possible to have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder after an emotionally abusive relationship?...
A. 30 July 2009: Yes it is most certainily possible. In fact, it is quite common. I was in an abusive relationship and suffered from it. You should see a doctor about it. Even if you arent suffering from it, going through any traumatic expeirence such as an abusive ... (read in full...)
I was in danger and could of died, but he couldnt care less because he needed his sleep!
Q. My boyfriend and I had a rocky beginning. I loved him more than anything and it wasn't mutual. I did let him go and it took me dating another for him to realize he loves me. We've been together for five years and I thought everything was fine but ...
A. 23 July 2009: I dont think you are exaggerating. The point is, you felt you were in danger, no matter what the situation is, whether people here or your bf finds it dangerous or not so dangerous, the point is YOU felt in danger, and he should of been there to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is playing games with my head!
Q. I need help! Okay my boyfriend he's amazing everytime I lay in his arms I feel like I have the world and I love him to pieces but..he calls me beautiful and says that I love you...but the next couple of days later he says he's annoyed of me when I d...
A. 12 July 2009: Darling what your bf is doing is NOT OK! He is emotionally/mentally & verbally abusing you. This has got to stop. More then likely, he wont stop abusing you, because he is an abuser. It has nothing to do with you. So dont start thinking things like ... (read in full...)
I need help understanding shy guys, does he like me or is he just being polite?
Q. Shy guys are very confusing and frustrating. This guy at my work is around 26. He is so so shy his dad tries to set him up on dates and from what I have found out he only has had one girlfriend. One of my friends at work told him that I thought he ...
A. 7 July 2009: did you say he gave you a huge hug and said you would have to do it again? if so (especially the hug part) then i would say thats more then being a polite! a person being polite would of just say i had a good time, and left it at that, and they ... (read in full...)
Brother's friend..wants phone sex but is that all he wants from me?
Q. I need someone else's perspective on my situation. I met my brother's friend 4 years ago at a bar. Nothing happened but I was attracted. As they both are in the army, our paths crossed briefly over the years but nothing went further than jus...
A. 2 July 2009: Sadly, I think hes using you. If he wanted more then he woudlnt be behaving in the way he is. Sure he contacts you alot, but some guys are willing to give you fake signs to give you false hope which makes you hold on- so basically they do certain ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend threw a chair across the room!! What do I do?
Q. My boyfriend of 3 years just threw a chair across the room because he got mad that I was questioning him about an online account he has. We live together now for 6 months and in the entire 3 years he has NEVER throw anything, let alone a chair!!! ...
A. 28 June 2009: Abusers generally start showing signs of abusive behaviour towards other things and other people, but not you! At least at first...eventually it will be your turn.
Sure, he threw a chair, no one got hurt, but that doesnt matter. Someone could of... (read in full...)
For the guys: If you were showing all the signs of being into one girl, would you be likely to see others too?
Q. Out of curiousity for all you men out there- If you met a girl and are seeing her for a month, and you text her everyday and you ask all your friends (that are friends with her) about her and you mention her to your close family, are you likely t...
A. 27 June 2009: Im not a guy btu I will answer anyway because I have 'experience' in this type of situation.
I dont think anyone can say if he is or wants to see anyone else based on his behaviour towards you. In my expeirnece, sometimes, a guy who texts you non ... (read in full...)
First date go on a ghost walk?
Q. I've just started chatting to this girl who seems to like me and I like her. This may sound a strange thing to do on a first meeting, but would it be acceptable if I asked her on a ghost walk? If not, what do you think and where would readers ...
A. 22 June 2009: Ok so going on a ghost walk is not what you would consider the norm, but being different to the norm doesnt make it a bad thing as such.
Do you know if shes into ghosts and all that type of thing? If so, then it might be a good idea. If shes not... (read in full...)
I'm obsessing about her sexual past
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for a little under a year and I find myself obsessing about her sexual past. We are both in our late 20s, so we’ve been through the highschool, college, and post-college freedom experiences. I’m sure that she ...
A. 16 June 2009: Just to clear something up, do you KNOW she has a past of sleeping around? Or do you just suspect it? Or are you worried about the unknown,thinking this could be a possibility?
If you arent sure about her sexual past, then you should start a ... (read in full...)
Guys, what does it mean?
Q. If a girl is standing somewhere focus on something, not really paying attention, and a guy reaches over her to get something and press his body against her butt. The girl took it as an accident and thought nothing of it. Then he did it again, and ...
A. 16 June 2009: Im not a guy but I think I can still give you an accurate opinion based on my experiences with guys.
It sounds like it was no accident what this guy did. Like you said, he did it twice and there was PLENTY of room for him to go around.
It does... (read in full...)
Mother trying to force her religious views on me and break up my marriage
Q. My mom (she's christen) doesn't like my wife (of 3 years) because she's atheist. My mom has been on my case about it since she read her facebook religious status. She says if I don't find someone who believes god or I'll cut out her will and I'll go ...
A. 15 June 2009: You are how old and you are pretending to your mother that you are a christian? i think that is half the problem. she probably thinks that since you apparantly beleive in god, heaven and hell, she probably thinks you would CARE about going to heaven ... (read in full...)
When a girl asks you "Are you a player" what is the best answer?
Q. When a girl asks you "are you a player" ? What is the best way to answer this question Usually I just laugh it off and move on to the next topic but is there a better way to address this problem because I don't want to have girls feeling as if I'...
A. 12 June 2009: Well are you a player????
If you are not a player then I suggest you answer them seriously and dont laugh at the question because that may be seen as being insenisitve to their feelings. and it will also make you look guilty of being a player! ... (read in full...)
He promised to quit smoking but its been 9 months..how can I not hate it!
Q. well here's the story.. i met him as a smoker.. i did not want to date him because of that but he insisted and insisted and insisted promising that he will quit if i gave him a chance..but he have been together now for 9 months now and he still ...
A. 31 May 2009: That quote really does not apply to this situation, because there is someone with an addiction involved! It doesnt matter how much he loves you, you threatening to break up wont ever be able to be enough to make him quit. He has to do it for ... (read in full...)
How do I know if a guy really likes me for who I am?
Q. It seems like all the guys I date just use me. Now I have a hard time trusting guys and always think they are going to use me. How can I trust guys again and How do I know if a guy really likes me for who I am? ...
A. 31 May 2009: Ive been in the same position as you before.
What Ive learnt is that users wont typically stick around for too long if they wont get what they want quickly. Trust is earnt over time, so a decent guy will wait around and put in the hard effort t... (read in full...)
Are we responsible for her even though she chose to move out?
Q. My 16 year old daughter has decided she cannot live with our rules. As much as it is killing me to let her move out, I think for her it might be the only way to learn that our household rules were not that bad. She has always been very strong ...
A. 31 May 2009: Unless someone else is offically taking over your job as a parent, i.e. guardian, then yes you are responsible even if shes not living with you. ... (read in full...)
Do good looks mean a better life?
Q. do good looking guys have more options of girlfreinds and more freinds and be very popular ...
A. 20 May 2009: No, take it from someone who is a model, just because you are good looking doesnt mean you are guaranteed a happy life. There are so many other factors that contribute to a happy and healthy life. Things that are much more important. In the grand ... (read in full...)
What do people think about casual sex?
Q. I'd like peoples opinions on casual sex (one night stands and friends with benefits). Do you think either are morally ok? I am trying to make my mind up on weither i think they are accetable and would like some opinions. ...
A. 20 May 2009: You shoudlnt base your opinions on such a topic on what other poeple think. Base them on what you beleive in. Think about how you would feel after a one night stand? Think about the consequences and how you would feel having to go through with them? ... (read in full...)
Sex brings on terrible cramps & pain..does anyone know why?
Q. this is a serious question, its a bit crazy. i know you guus arent doctors or anything, i just want some advice so i dont feel so alone on this issue, i dont have insurance either, so if it is serious i cant really do anything about it. i am a ...
A. 19 May 2009: Even if you may not be able to afford any treatment that is possibly needed, dont you think it would be best to see the doctor, so you know what is going on? It could turn out to be nothing serious, atleast that way you will be able to relax. If you ... (read in full...)
He says I have insecurities but I don't!?
Q. I been seeing this guy for 5 months now, we saw alot of each other in the beginning but now he seems to forget to call, i have spoken with him and sometimes when he cant get me right away and we have plans he goes and does something else. he said ...
A. 16 May 2009: What a loser this guy is! He is too gutless to tell you the truth. He doesnt have the decency to break up with you, so hes making up excuses for not commiting. And then he has the nerve to shift blame on you for being 'insecure'.
Serio... (read in full...)
Sex brings on terrible cramps & pain..does anyone know why?
Q. this is a serious question, its a bit crazy. i know you guus arent doctors or anything, i just want some advice so i dont feel so alone on this issue, i dont have insurance either, so if it is serious i cant really do anything about it. i am a ...
A. 16 May 2009: I had pretty much the same problem a while ago. For me, it was a psychological problem. I was having sex but didnt really want to for numerous reasons. I was also so scared of geting pregnant. So it all came down to fear and anxiety for me. Are you ... (read in full...)
Formally requested RSVP, got nothing... Do I say something? Just a party.
Q. Backstory, good place to start I suppose: Just moved across town. Not many friends, but the friends I have are solid (ish) Anyways, invited a mess of people over for a party, I usually dont throw parties and the roommate was going out of town, ...
A. 15 May 2009: I'd suggest calling those who did not reply and say something along the lines of 'hey just checking to see if you recieved the invitation to my party since i havent heard back from you yet. would you like to come?'. By saying that, they will know ... (read in full...)
I want advice on older women
Q. Hey all I'm 16 almost 17 and I'm talking to this 19 year old... She thinks I'm a bit older - 18. I think she wants a casual relationship thing. I want to know a couple of things: 1. Do other people find that weird? 2. To the women, are you...
A. 8 May 2009: Well when I was 19, I wouldnt consider dating some who is 16 or 17. You may not realise it now, but by the time you too are 19 you would have grown up and matured alot. In fact, you will change so much just within the next 6 -12months of your life. ... (read in full...)
How do I forget about someone I like?
Q. How do I forget about someone I like because he has too many friends, he's too independent and he's too clever. And he's 2 years younger then me, good looking and too popular and sneaky and I am far too inferior for him so I want to forget about hi...
A. 4 May 2009: You arent inferior to him. Just because he has more friends, that does not make him a better person. Just because hes clever, or good looking and popular, that also doesnt mean hes better than you. I bet you have alot of great qualities which make ... (read in full...)
I'm 14, should I spilt up with my 19 year old boyfriend?
Q. i have a 19 year old boyfriend who loves me a lot but i am only 14. my parents will be so angry with me if they find out. this is putting a lot of stress on me and it is affecting our relationship. should i end the relationship?...
A. 4 May 2009: Why do you think your parents would be angry if they knew? Do you believe they have reasons to be worried?
I can understand why they would be worried. A 19 year old male is alot different to a 14 year old girl. For started he can legally have sex... (read in full...)
My husband watches porn over me
Q. I don't know what to do anymore. My husband and I met about 4 1/2 years ago. At first it was all roses and sunny days. But after the first year he started wanting other women. I almost left me when I was pregnant because he was bored with me ...
A. 23 April 2009: I think you should leave him!!! No decent guy would EVER EVER treat someone like that, not someone he loves, not smeone he is in a r/ship with, and just not even somebody he barely knows.
What sort of guy tells his partner that he wants to get w... (read in full...)
B/f watches porn and doesn't care how I feel about it
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 1 year now and the other day i found out he had been watching porn on my computer and lying to be about what he was doing. I was so incredibly hurt by this I cried non stop for days, it feels like im not good ...
A. 14 April 2009: A bf SHOULD care about your feelings. If he doesnt, then you have to ask yourself why are you staying in a relationship with someone who doesnt care about you? Dont you think you deserve to be cared about, and to have a bf who is sensitive towards ... (read in full...)
Can you trusta serial cheater?
Q. Can you trust a serial cheater (woman)? I am dating an woman in her late 30's early 40's who is a serial cheater. She has been married twice and has cheated on both husbands. Her reasons and method of cheating are particularly dis...
A. 27 March 2009: You are right in believing actions over words. Can you trust her? Well, sure people can change, but what has she done to change??? Has she seeked counselling? Unless you can see clear evidence that she has dealt with the underlying issues of her ... (read in full...)
He makes me feel like sex is all he wants me for sometimes
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for nearly 3 years. We are both in our 3rd year of college and busy. He is very much a prototypical 21 yr. old male who wants more sex (right now it's about twice/week). The problem is that I'm very busy and make a long ...
A. 27 March 2009: Firstly, you dont owe anyone sex, not even your husband. That beleif that wive's should obey their husbands sexual orders is very outdated. If you dont want to have sex with someone, whether it be your bf or husband, or ANYONE, then thats perfectly ... (read in full...)
How could things change this quickly? Is there someone else?
Q. my boyfriend broke up with me after being engaged, telling me he loves me every day, that i am going to be his wife soon, met his mother and he spoke of meeting his other relatives too. out of the blue he says its over, that he has issues, that we ...
A. 24 March 2009: I understand your frustration. Its hard to move on when you dont have closure. You are left wondering why???
No one here can tell you an exact reason, but from what you have said, I get the feeling that this other women has something to do with ... (read in full...)
Has anyone ever gone away to forget about an ex?
Q. I am totally in love with my ex and have been for 5 years now! Believe me, I have tried every trick there is to get over him but nothing has worked. Ive dated other men and fancied other men but my ex is the one in my heart. The sad thing is that he ...
A. 22 March 2009: Well, I must say, Australia is a wonderulf place :) hehe I live here.
I think going away could be benefical. I know that when me and my ex bf broke up, I found it so hard to move on, because the city I live in isnt that big- I was always running ... (read in full...)
Sex with my boyfriend's friend?
Q. should i have sex with my boyfriends friend? well he's not technically my boyfriend but we do things that a boyfriend and girlfriend would do...
A. 13 March 2009: Even if you are not technically in a relationship with your 'boyfriend', I suggest that if you care about him AT ALL then you will not sleep with his friend. Imagine how hurt he would be. If you want to sleep with other people, then you should first ... (read in full...)
Is it just pretend or in my mind?
Q. cutting it short i met a guy through the net. he was sweet and into me. we had some rough patch at beginning when going out. now we're good. but our only form of contact is msn or the phone. now he never has credit and doesn't come online o...
A. 12 March 2009: Awww im sorry to hear this darling, but he sounds like a loser. I know to you, he doesnt seem like that, but as they say, 'love is blind'. You dont want to see his faults, so you arent seeing them. No decent guy would ignore you like that. It doesnt ... (read in full...)
I cheated and he broke up with me does that mean he never loved me?
Q. So I cheated with my ex when my boyfriend an I were broken up. He broke up with me 2 weeks after christmas with no explanation, he wouldnt talk to me at all. Now 3 months later I built up the courage to tell him because i cant keep things from him.. ...
A. 12 March 2009: When you love someone, you dont cheat on them.
Im sure he loved you, but he doesnt deserve be cheated on and treated like that. So he did what any self respecting person would do, and not put up with it.
It takes more than love to make a relat... (read in full...)
Am I making a big deal of nothing?
Q. i would like to know if i am just being a big baby or if i should be as frustrated (i guess would be the right word) as i am.. my and my girlfriend decided to make the step to engagement on new years FINALLY but like everything there is a problem....
A. 10 March 2009: Your gf, or should I say fiance's behaviour is questionable to say the very least.
So she doesnt tell her her ex bf shes engaged because there was some other person around at the time. She doesnt want her 'private business' spread around...hmm... (read in full...)
Because we don't have sex he accuses me of having it with someone else?
Q. Ok I've been dating this guy for a few months. Things moved pretty quickly as far as emotions are involved. I have deep feelings for him, and from what he says the feeling is mutual. I decided to wait a while before we had sex. He said no problem. ...
A. 9 March 2009: This guy is abusive. So many major warning signs in such a tiny post!
It sounds to me, that he is trying to pressure you into sex- by accusing of cheating. He is basically sending the statement that, since your not having sex with me, you must be ... (read in full...)
I went on his myspace account to see what he was up to
Q. me and my boyfriend have been dating for a little over a year, this is the second time we've dated. the first time, he left me for his ex-girlfriend. but, i figured out his myspace password a couple months ago. i wanted to go on so bad and see w...
A. 8 March 2009: You should not put up with this at all!!! This isnt right what hes doing. If hes in a committed relatonship, its inappropiate and insensitive to your feelings for him to be going around and telling other girls that they are the most beaituful he has ... (read in full...)
How do sort things out when your partner won't "come clean"?
Q. I have sevaral questions to ask. How can we sort out our problems if my partner wont be honest about things and talk i know he has not told me everything i want to know? AS anyone stayed in a realationship just because it is easyier than ...
A. 5 March 2009: Yes, Ive stayed in a relationship just because it was easier then waking up and having to deal with the hurt that comes from a broken relationship. But, in the end, you come to a point where you will have to face the ending, so its better to get it ... (read in full...)
Why would girls prefer the chasing of a guy instead of the safety of a relationship?
Q. So I just had to break up with my gf of 7 months today because I found out that a month earlier while we took a one week break she asked an ex of hers out and only took me back because he rejected her. I know it's not like she cheated on me but ...
A. 1 March 2009: I know alot of guys like that actually. They love the thrill of the chase, but once they catch it, they throw it away like rubbish.
So its not just a girl thing at all, and its not a guy thing either. Both sexes do that and I think thats importan... (read in full...)
I'm unsure about whether I should give the relationship another try if we live closer to each other in the future?
Q. I was in a long distance relationship with a guy who lives many miles away from me for 8 months. We recently broke up after I found out that the entire relationship was almost all lies. He has cheated on me twice, lied about his sexual past, and ...
A. 28 February 2009: I am really sorry that that guy treated you so badly. You deserve so much more than a guy who would do that to you. You deserve a guy who will be faithful to you, respect you, love you, care for you, be honest and loyal.
So he apologised for what... (read in full...)
Am I just a rebound for when his relationships end?
Q. ive been friends with a guy for 8 years now. we've always got along well and flirted a little. when his 1st relationship ended 5 years ago we slept together but it went no further. then we had a couple of dates 2 years back but things got confusing. ...
A. 28 February 2009: Hmmm it doesnt sound like he could be using you. I mean, hes done it more than once, slept with you, and each time hes never suggested anything more?
I think that you need a clear answer though. So I really think you should ask him whats going on... (read in full...)
Friend using my ideas to do well in another subject!
Q. i have recently found out that a close friend of mine has been going through my work with the intention of using my ideas to do well in another subject. I am in my final year of school so this is a big issue as it is considered my final work for ...
A. 27 February 2009: I used to have a friend like this who did it to me all throughout high school! It was so annoying, and frustrating. I would think of a great idea, so I would share it with her out of excitement- after all, that is what friends do right? But then she ... (read in full...)
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