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female
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*wanttoleave
writes: I am 16 years old and I will be 17 in July of 2006. I live at home with my mom and my brother and I am just so tired of being treated like crap. My boyfriend is 16 also and he will turn 17 two days before me. We have been talking about getting married and having a baby. The thing is he is currently in foster care. We want to find out if I get pregnant can we still get married without having to have a parent sign for us since he is in foster care? I have read that if you are 16 and pregnant you can get married without parents’ permission as long as you have a doctor’s note stating that you are pregnant. We are just scared that he will get in trouble. Please respond if you can help. This is really serious and we need help as soon as possible! Thank you! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, owensgurl16  +, writes (13 January 2011):
i am 16 years old i an im pregnat i dont stay with guys very long i dont have a boyfriend wht should i do my sister has a kid it doesent look that hard to take care of onr but i have a problem im pregnat to my sisters boyfriend plzz help me i dont know wht to do
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2010): you have to do what is best for you guy im also 18 and my boy friend want 2 stay with me.follow your heart,and think for your future."nothing but the truth guys"
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female
reader, CHINASO  +, writes (27 November 2010):
I think you should be aloud to get married decausa the baby needs a father and if the childa grows up without his father we might think he will be ok without his father its not easy everyone needs there father.......
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female
reader, twins4dec2010 +, writes (1 November 2010):
Hey I was in the samething earlyer this year I was 15 and pregnant and I didn't tell my parents yet but we already wanted to be married and our parents hated it. So we told them about the pregnancy and his parents were more understanding then mine but we got married later that month because we wanted to before i got too pregnant. After te wedding we found out we were pregnant with twins and they are due this December(2010)
Its really up to you we are doing great hes a year older and got out of high school by passing the test and is in college to be a lawyer. I also did the same but I am on bed rest to i will wait to go to school.
I would talk to you family about it, its up to you but think before you act if you get pregnant make sure the foster system dosnt keep you 2 away from each other!!! Good luck!
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female
reader, klo17 +, writes (3 March 2010):
i would not rush into it....i am 17 and i had a baby at 16 and thought me and my bf was going to be together but as soon as u have your baby he will be in your life for a short while and out the next...so im telling yu from experience that its not a good idea
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female
reader, tinks818  +, writes (28 August 2009):
hey im kind of in the same situation :L me n my boyfriend r going to scotland on the 18th of december n marrying at gretna green, ignore all these people saying ur to young, are ya hell as like, you can marry at 16 wiv parents permission in some places u can without, thts y i am going to scotland coz there u dnt need permission. If you really love this lad then go for it try for a baby and get married, i think that if u was pregnant you parents would want u to be married anyway so ur baby wud have parents. good luck :)
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female
reader, meme101 +, writes (7 November 2008):
I am currently 16 (17 in January) and I have read all the responses from people. Dont listen to them all. This is your decision, if you want to get married and have children at 16 then as long as you are mature about it, you can improve your life and add a sense of motivation. I know this from experience. I currently have a 14 month old son and I have been very happily married to my husband for 10months. We got married on my 16th birthday (with my parents permission). With financial support from both Chris (my husband, 19, works monday-friday 8:30-5:30 as an estate agent), his family, mine and the government, we now have a 3 bedroom townhouse and have enough money left over to enjoy holidays together as a family. Yes, its hard to be a mum but you learn how to make it work and it is the most rewarding thing i have ever done and I cannot describe the connection that we all have together. I always longed to be independant and now I have gained independance and love my new life.
Think about it first but good luck if you choose to go ahead with your pregnancy and getting married!
xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008): For all the very young women here considering motherhood-- go find another young woman with a baby or toddler (preferably a teen mother) and offer to babysit for her on a regular basis for a month or two. Especially, volunteer to babysit, and do cooking and housework, for two or three days in a row, a minimum of 10 hours a day. You'll be doing a good deed, and getting a sense of what you're in for.
If you did a good job taking care of the child, still want a baby afterward, and know that you could afford the costs of an apartment and all the things that are needed to support a family of 2 or 3, then... wait another year to see if your boyfriend will stick around for you.
Remember, once you have a baby, it stops being all about you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008): hey,
i agree with you. i am also currently 16 and am dying to have a baby however i do not have a boyfriend at the moment but i am so desperate i am willing to do anything (sensible) for one, such as getting adtifically inseminated by a donor's sperm. i love babies and children and i would do anything for them. they are the things that keep me going in life and the dream of having a baby has been going on since i was 13. i have dreams of being pregnant and feeling my baby move inside me, then when i wake up i feel so so sad.
However i know that this is not realistic at this time in my life. i have two more years until i go to university and i am definatley aiming to finish them. i wish to get a degree in child psychology and child care, which involves a 4 year course at university, this will allow me to get a well paid job which will pay for all my expensives and will allow me to spend my whole life working happily with children.
but until then i suggest you get a job babysitting or childminding (which i intend to do soon) because it will allow you to spend time with babies/children without you putting yourself in debt and trouble.
it is a very bad idea to get married without your parents permission because they will later oppose to your 'husband' and will not support you. parents are suppost to be happy and proud when their child get's married or pregnant but i guarantee they won't be if you hide it from them, and especially if you're this young.
please take this advice on board. i, like you, would love a child of my own right now and feel i am mature enough to take care of it and i have enough patience and resposibility to take care of a baby for the rest of it's life. but you and i should put the rights of the child first and allow it to have the best possible life, with a mum AND a dad who are in well paid jobs, and are willing to do anything for them. this is only possible if the parents finish their education first and have enough financial support to provide well for themselves and for the baby.
take a second think, and i hope you wait for a little while.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008): im wanting to do the same thing.
im confused.
i would have to go with the disicion of getting pregnant and married.
thats wut im going to do i think.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008): You moron!
Grow up, get an education, dump your loser boyfriend who wants to get you knocked up and get a life!
You are what's laughable when kids say they are "in love" at 16. which by the way you didn't mention at all.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2008): Honestly, I think you should stop and think, how would it of been for you if you're mum was 16 when you were born. And think of it this way, if he loves you, he will stay with you until you are done with school, and got as far as you want to get in life, if he is still with you, there's a good chance that he will stay with you for a long time, but if he's left you, it's saved you the pain of being left as a single mum, with no work prospects, and no home. Hope this helps and hope you do well whatever you choose.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2007): girls like youare just trying to grow up to quickly and honestly i think its pathetic you have a chicld becasue you want to have that something special in your ilfe not becasue you want a ring on your finger personally i think your a little messed in the head
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2007): You definatly need to wait till you are of age 18 don't waste your teen years taking care of a baby when you should be out there having fun like going shopping, Fourwheeler riding, mudriding, whatever you do just think it only takes one second to screw up your life and to lose the love of your life... As you grow up.. You learn that even the one person that was never supposed to let you down probably will.. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and every time its harder. You might even break hearts too. So remember what it feels like when your heart was broken.. You'll fight your best friend, Youll Blame a new love for somthing an old one did, You'll cry because time is passing too fast and youll probably lose someone you love. So take too many pictures.. Laugh so much and love like you've never been hurt. Because every 60 seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you can't get back.. So live your life to the fullest extent and never screw your teen years up because after your a teen and you get grown you think back and wanna be a teen again but you can never get that back
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2007): Well, I strongly recommend that you wait until you are 18 and your bf is in a full-time job and pulling down at least $11.00-$20.00 per hr. FT (full time) Baby costs (formula, diapers, apartment, etc) $1000.00 a year. You would also have to work a full time job and put your kid in daycare unless your bf is willing to take a "graveyard shift" job. The odds of your marriage failing are about 99%, I am basing this on prior research.
Now for some advice from personal exprience: If your bf is trying to "rush" you, he just wants to sleep with you and isn't serious about marriage. He will dump you, that 100% certain. If you have parents or a church, ask them if it's a good idea, they'll say; "Wait" That's what any rational person would do. Most girls who drop out of high school and have babies usually wind up on drugs and on welfare. You don't want to do that. There are a painfully few instances where the teenage couple actually didn't divorce but most do. If you havem't married him yet: Finish High School, try to go to college and THEN marry him. If you don't want to go the college route, just wait until you are graduated from High School. Great way to fail at life is to be stupid. I'll tell you what happened with me and my ex. I wanted to marry her (I was 30 and she was 27) but I was only making 9.50 an hr. and to make it worse, I proposed to her on the first date! BAM! She lost interest in me after 2 weeks and I canceled the engagement. The interloper who "took her" was a freind of mine. Pretty stupid on my part, huh? Here is the lesson: True love waits. May the Lord Jesus Christ bless you. (John 3:16)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2006): i live in georgia
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2006): can me and my partner still have sex allthough im pregnant?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2006): i think you guys should do whats best for you im in the same problem your having but i ranaway now im getting married and going to have a kid
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female
reader, TaylorMay +, writes (9 January 2006):
 im sorry you have to be 18 to get married without perental permission
but im really asking you to stop and think before you get pregnant a baby is for life its not a toy or a dress it its hard work all the way through you have to ask yourself if you could cope or would this child end up in care having a crappy life like your boyfreind is please stop and think ! lotsof love hunni
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2005): well u have to be 18 u can't get maaried witout ur parents perssion
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2005): What is the rush to get married? to say that you have a ring on your finger? Love is so much more than being married. You too should enjoy each other's company and just love being together, don't bring a child into when he or she won't get the best life out of their parents who just had the child to put a ring on their finger. Think about it all, really, love is so much more than marriage.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2005): I really wouldnt even consider this course of action if I were you, you are 16 enjoy it!! I think we all had feelings like this I think I felt hard done by and put upon and treated like crap from I was about 12 until I was about 18, you know what now Im 25 I realise that maybe a lot of it had to do with my own attitude call it hormones or whatever you like or maybe ive always had a bit of an indepenedent streak and didnt like being told what to do.
16 is way to young to have a baby or to get married you change so much from the age of 16 right up to you get into your 20s even from your 20s to your 30s. Im 25 and I was in a relationship up until a year ago that relationship believe was the same one I was in from I was 16 to 24 8 years and I never thought of getting married well not seriously anyway the thing is that we both changed we grew into two very different people I still love him and we are still the best of friends but I am so glad that we never had any children because it would not be so easy to say you know I love you but Im no longer in love with you if you have children it was hard enough and that was just the hurt from admitting that we werent going to grow old together but I am glad that we had the years together that we did but we where too young to get married and frankly so are you! You may prove to be the exception to the rule you may change over the years and still want to be together but please give yourself a chance to see who you really are before you make important decisions on children and marriage please get yourself a career and a life goal independent of any man
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (28 December 2005):
 The answer to your question depends on where you live, what country, what region etc.
But whether it's legal where you live is so much less important than the fact that it's so selfish.
Parenting isn't what you do to get away from your parents (if fact, doesn't that sound a little ironic to you?). Having a child is something you do when you're settled in a life-long relationship, you're in a time in your career when you can afford to take a break for a few years, and because you *really* want the challenges and rewards of raising a child, and because nothing else will do.
Every single 16-year-old who ever lived thinks that their home life with their folks is intolerable (in a few years, you'll look back and laugh at yourself) but thinking it isn't the same thing as it being true.
If you think you're feeling like crap now, imagine how you'll feel after you and your boyfriend have been working three part-time jobs between you, just to keep a roof over your heads, have been kept awake four nights running by a colicky infant, and are going to be late on the rent because you have to buy nappies! That's one version of a possible reality for you.
Your life could be SO much worse... and it will be, if you selfishly leave a place where people take care of you and pay your expenses, and want you to get a good education without a lot of adult responsibilities, just so you can play Houses. Getting married and having a baby is a huge step to adults who are twice your age; never mind age sixteen-and-a-half!
Have you given much thought to what happens AFTER a couple like you has a baby to take care of and raise, 24/7 for the next 20 years? Who's going to work? Where are you going to work? Who's staying home to look after the child? Have you done up a budget based on your expenses and earnings to see what you can afford? Have you thought about the cost to your social lives (no nights out with friends, no parties - you have a child who needs you)?
And what about your child? He or she doesn't stay a cute, gurgling baby for very long, you know. What happens when the baby gets to the Terrible Twos and does nothing but throw tanties and scream "NO!"? Are you mature enough to deal with that? When you haven't even finished high school yourselves, how are you going to help your child with homework? What's going to be your wise advice when your own daughter is 16 and screams that she hates you, and she's going to move out to get pregnant to her boyfriend, because it seems like an easy option?
You're not ready to be a parent, hon. At 16, most girls have their hands full taking care of their social lives, much less a crying, snotty, full-nappied child.
My advice is go back to Square One and think about your other options. Your best choice is to stick things out for another year or so and finish high school. Get the best education you can, then, if you still feel the same after high school graduation, move out. Do it with no hard feelings, because statistically, there's every chance you might need to rely on your parents again at some point in the future.
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female
reader, babiebarbiedoll +, writes (28 December 2005):
for starters your both only babys your self. you may fink your all grown up, but its a nasty and big place out where reality is.
having a baby may seem like a easy option, however its a lot of responcibility. it doesnt come cheap either. ok you would get housed, but what about bills? who would go out and earn a living? its a lot of pressure bringing up a baby. just be sure that your not rushing into something that once is done you couldn't change! enjoy your child hood, go to college, travelle what ever you want to, remember the world is your oyster but dont wish it away xx
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reader, happytochat +, writes (28 December 2005):
Marriage isn't something you should just go into to escape reality, deal with reality and don't run away, because it won't work out otherwise. I don't think you and your bf have really thought about what mairrgae is and what it really would be like having a baby. I understand that you are really trying to get away from home, but that isn't the asnwere to go get maried and have a kid, at 17.
You soooo many more options, you know. Like seeing a counsellor about your family issues. Try talking to your family about how you feel when they treat you like crap. Do it in a mature way, doin't yell and scream, sit them down and state how you feel in a calm manner. Say sometihng like "when you said that to me the other day or when you do this all the time, it makes me feel upset and unloved', you get what I mean? You need to expess to them your feelings and hopefully thry will see it and try to make a change. If that fails, try talking to a family friend who is older or perhaps a friends parent, someone who will listen ot you and who is older and will know how to deal with this.
For more ways to deal with your family issues, search for some support help lines on the net, i don't know where your from so I couldnt search any for you. I know in Australia here we have Kids Help Line.
I hope you get it all worked out, and I hoenstly don't think marriage and having a baby is the answer.
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female
reader, purrfectionist84 +, writes (28 December 2005):
 I am deeply sympathetic about your situation at home. However, I agree with Tinkz that having a baby is NOT a good idea in your circumstances. At your age, a baby is a financial impossibility. If you start having children from now, you'll end up sacrificing your opportunity to finish high school and attend college (or at least postpone it significantly). You especially need to think of your potential child here. Having a baby just because you want to get out of your parents' house is selfish and not in the best interests of the child, just as getting married just because you're pregnant isn't in your best interests in the long run, when you may end up with someone who doesn't love you enough to stick around for the challenges of childrearing, or who does stick around but is an unsatisfactory partner overall. If anything, you'll end up back at home once you realize that you cannot afford the cost of raising a child on your own (or with your boyfriend, should you choose to stay together). Ask yourself this question: do you love your boyfriend enough to spend the rest of your life with him, or do you just want to marry him because you feel that it would be an escape from your unpleasant life at home? Do yourself a favor and stick it out at home another year or so. You'll have the opportunity to leave home for college soon enough, and that will be a MUCH better investment at your age than starting a family. If you truly love your boyfriend, you two can get married and have children later, once you are both financially secure. You have your entire lives ahead of you--don't rush into something that you will regret soon enough.
Good luck.
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female
reader, Tinkz  +, writes (28 December 2005):
 My sweety, don't be foolish, you still a baby yourself.
it's not just about getting married. You need to think about this, can you afford a child to start of with, because babies don't come cheap any more.
Your hospital bills wills cost about R25 000 and that is just the birth. then it the care for the baby.
Babies aren't like pets, they humans, and i personally think you not thinking straight.
Don't give up your life, you have another 60 years to be an adult don't ruin your child hood for an uncertain future. It will only make things worse.
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