She says she wants space. How much space is space?
Q. Hi. Could do with some advice. My girlfriend of three years (great relationship etc) recently told me she 'needs space/a break'. Not 'breaking -up', just needs 'space'... Everything was good until she started studies on her university course...
A. 20 December 2007: Hmmm this is very confusing!! Like you said, you two barely see each other and have contact already, and how she wants space??? How much more space can you have??
All valid thoughts.
Heres a guess though...maybe she feels that she cant be the ... (read in full...)
Why hasn't he popped the question?
Q. I've been in a relationship for over 12 years with someone I love very much but he refuses to marry me. The last time I brought up the topic he responded "we don't need to get married...what for? To get divorce." I know that the relationship is ...
A. 20 December 2007: Hmmm sounds like your bf has a negative attitude towards marriage. Are his parents divorded? have many people close to him been divorced? If so, this may be why he is like this. When people you love alot get divorced it can hrut and it can destroy ... (read in full...)
Are we officially a couple or not??
Q. hes 32 me 22 we both kno we both like each another cuz we hav told 1 another but neither 1 of us hav cleared the air weather or not were bf/gf but the last time we chilled he asked me if i would go out wit him sumtime and i said yea well 3 days ago ...
A. 20 December 2007: Hey,
First off I have to point out that using text messaging is a VERY insufficent way to talk to someone, especially about such important issues! Why would you do this? People can lie so easily through text messages so the answer you got may not ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend suffers from low self esteem and bulemia, I came up with some ideas to boost her confidence but my friends say I will drive her into the arms of another man
Q. I have been with my grilfriend for a over a year now, she has recently told me she has suffered from bulemia and is desperate to feel good about her self and more importantly to feel sexy again. She is gorgeous and has a beautiful face and the most ...
A. 20 December 2007: I dont think that your suggestions would drive her into the arms of another guy. If anything, its usualy very insecure people who have affairs more often compared to confidence people because they need that ego boost...so if you can help her boost ... (read in full...)
I have never been cheated on and I had imagined we'd be together forever. Should I excuse his infidelity?
Q. So here is my problem, plain and clear: My boyfriend makes no god damn sense. I am 22 years old. I am in University for engineering with a 4.0 GPA. I work out 5-6 days a week and I weigh 125 pounds, I am in top notch shape. I keep every part of ...
A. 19 December 2007: I am sorry that your bf cheated on you- NO ONE deserves this. Its horrible what he did and I can understand this has shattered your self esteem.
I dont really know why he did it. Perhaps although he may have alot of great qualities, he may stil... (read in full...)
Maybe my ex disrespected me because I did what I originally said I wasn't going to do, so was it in fact my fault he was abusive?
Q. Was it my fault my ex was disrespectful to me? I ask this because even though he was emotionally abusive, maybe he disrespected me because I did what I orignially said I wasn't going to do (ex. have sex with him before marriage and get drunk)-of ...
A. 19 December 2007: DO NOT think it was your fault!!! Because it wasnt!!! Your ex bf was an abuser and abusers abuse those they know they can manipulate, control and take advantage of. No one deserves to be disrespected, not you, not anyone.
You cant blame your... (read in full...)
I can't stand my husband's female co-worker!
Q. My question is I can't stand my husband's female co-worker! I met her at his christmas party and from the moment I met her I did not get a good vibe from her. I consider myself good looking but she is 20 years old, very gorgeous and has a body that ...
A. 19 December 2007: I understand how you feel- very jealous, and perhaps you are starting to feel a bit insecure in your relationship as you worry maybe something will happen.
I know its very easy when your in a relationship with someone to feel threatened by other... (read in full...)
Why does he lie about his naked picture thing?
Q. why does my husband hide and lie about forwarding and looking at pictures of necked women?...
A. 15 December 2007: Because he obviously thinks you woudnt approve and perhaps assumes it may upset you. A fair majority of women dont like there partners looking at porn and stuff...so no suprise here that hes tryign to hide what he does. ... (read in full...)
Christmas present dilemma. Bought her a present last year, which she didn't reciprocate, so how do I proceed THIS year?
Q. Right i got a christmas present dilemma! Last year, i bought a friend a present 4 xmas (Big box of malteasers) and i never got anything back! Even though she kept saying that she was gonna send me some money in a card! Anyway I put that in the ...
A. 15 December 2007: I think you have let the whole idea of christmas slip your mind...its to give, to show how much you lvoe and care for someone, not to give and hope for some awesome present in return. You shoudlnt really be thinking about what YOU get or hope to ... (read in full...)
Open-relationship is making me self-conscious. What can I do?
Q. I'm not sure if I'm okay with the open relationship I have with my boyfriend. I don't think ordinarily I'd be so worried or upset, but the girls he wants to go after are thinner than me, and it makes me feel very self-conscious. Like, if he's go...
A. 15 December 2007: You say you are worried that he wants a girl with a thin body...no he wants as many girls as he can have, all at once! He wants a girl who he can manipulate into using. Thats waht he wants. Someone who will step down and settle for being 2nd best, ... (read in full...)
We have a brilliant relationship and hot sex life, so why does he need all these virtual chats?...
Q. why is my husband addicted to chatrooms and online flirting? why can't he realise what he's doing to me. i've caught him many times and every time he says it will stop. we have a brilliant relationship and hot sex life, so why does he need all this ...
A. 14 December 2007: He does it because its a ego boost, makes him feel good about himself knowing that other females are flirting with him and so on. With some people, no matter how much love and reassurance you give them, they still seek more from somewhere else, ... (read in full...)
3 yrs of dating, and suddenly he hangs up the phone on me. Why?
Q. I've been dating this guy for almost 3 years, but here's the problem. He went to his country which is Haiti, we talked a couple of times over the phone, but all of a sudden after Thanksgiving I have never been able to speak with him again. When I ...
A. 11 December 2007: Is it possible that while visiting his home country, his family have some influence on him and maybe gave him some reason not to see you anymore?
Was there any issues in your relationship at all that maybe he is just to gutless to face?
... (read in full...)
Is wearing a brace (retainer) a big turn off for girls???
Q. Is wearing braces a big turn off for girls??? Will it make girls think twice about a relationship with a guy with braces?...
A. 11 December 2007: Noway!!!! If anything having braces is great because once you get them off you will have the best looking teeth ever! Just remember that. I had braces and no guys seemed to be turned off from me because of it. And believe me, its sooo worth having ... (read in full...)
I want to go abroad... but he says he loves me less for it!
Q. I have been having a relationship with a guy for two years and it's pretty serious upto the point of marriage.I want to go abroad for higher studies but he doesn't like it. He agreed to it reluctantly but he told me once that he loves me less ...
A. 7 December 2007: Your bf isnt being more 'firm' with you...thats a understatement! Hes being abusive it seems. No one says they will love you less for going after your dreams, for geting a education and building bridges to a brighter future with so many more career ... (read in full...)
Could this be a rejection?
Q. On Tuesday my crush sent me a text message.. so we were chatting.. then somehow he finds out that I like him.. it didn't freak him out he just wanted to know why.. so I told him that he is a pretty cool guy.. then he sent me a message saying that he ...
A. 7 December 2007: I don't think this is rejection at all. Since YOU didnt reply to his text saying he thinks you are pretty he may of thought maybe he freaked you out? Generaly if someone sends you a text and you dont reply, its you turn to make a move, sorta like ... (read in full...)
We've been going together 5 months and he hasn't tried to kiss me yet!
Q. I have a boyfriend in 8th garde and I am in 7th grade. We really like each other and we have been going out for 5 months, but we have not kissed. WE were watching tv and when he had to leave I asked him to stay for 2 mintues. I just don't know if I ...
A. 2 December 2007: When I was your age I was in a very familiar situation. When I was 16, I had a bf and after 6 months of dating we still hadnt kissed. I started to think all terrible things like maybe he doesnt like me enough and so on. But it turns out he was just ... (read in full...)
Once you cheat will you cheat again??
Q. OK, a poll: Do you think once you cheat you will always cheat? Even if you found your soul-mate, married and are happy with each other and both agree that finding each other was the best thing that ever happened to you? I cheated and know it was w...
A. 2 December 2007: The saying can be true in some situtions, but in others not. Some people will cheat and continue to do it, but others will understand why they cheated, learn from it and DEAL with the issue as to why they cheated. So if you are able to do that, ... (read in full...)
A neighbour changing in view of my wife and I!!!
Q. Hi Over the past few weeks our neighbour has been putting on a show in their bed room. What I mean by this is, she get undressed and gets changed without drawing the blinds. My wife and I can see all this from our lounge room if we have our blin...
A. 30 November 2007: Like many other people have said, get your wife to talk to her. Because if you do that would be more awkward because your a male and may come across as a pervert. Oh and like someone else also said, I wouldnt mention having seen her do it many ... (read in full...)
My gf periodically posts degrading pictures of herself in the net, semi-naked. Do I over react?
Q. I have been seeing a girl for a year and a half. She is amazing, but here is my problem. She will periodically post degrading pictures of herself on her Facebook as her profile picture. The first one was of her knealing (or standing, I couldnt...
A. 30 November 2007: You have a right to be annoyed by her photos. And what gets me even more anoyed is that she first posted a photo in a bikini top, and you let her know it bothered you. Then she puts one up in her bra (which is worst right??). Now im sure your gf ... (read in full...)
Do you remain in contact with someone if they were emotionally abusive to you?
Q. When you break up with someone, what should be the rule on how long it is before you talk to them? I always heard at least 3 months. But, do you remain in contact with someone if they were emotionally abusive to you? Or, should you just forgive them ...
A. 30 November 2007: You dont have to talk to your ex ever again if you dont want to. Those so called rules are stupid and you should forget them. When it comes to abusive ex's, being polite doesnt matter! You have no need to smile at him and say hey if you see him in ... (read in full...)
I feel totally betrayed by her moving on so quickly.
Q. Hi everyone, I know I've been droning on about this, but I'm trying to make sense of it in my head and up until now I'm totally unsuccessful. My ex told me she loved me, but due to a bit of stupid drunken self pity, text her 2 days later asking h...
A. 28 November 2007: Just because shes 'moving on' so soon doesnt mean she never loved you. Some people have the menality that as soon as you get hit you get straight back up into the game and get going again! Dont even have a little break. This could be what shes ... (read in full...)
Will conservative man suck the life out of fun lover?
Q. I have been dating a very conservative man for 6 years. I use the term conservative as a euphemism for bordering on boring. My children (19,21,26) see us as completely incompatible in this regard. Although they think he is an honest and likable ...
A. 28 November 2007: I guess what it comes down is if you are happy with your relationship. It sounds like you arent, and you feel you have so much more to do in life, that he doesnt want to do, which you feel he should and/or want him to as he is your partner. Seems to ... (read in full...)
Am I being silly or do I have a reason to be irritated?
Q. Given all the questions about photos of ex's on this site I thought I would throw my own worry into the mix. My boyfriend has pictures on his computer of his ex posing very provocatively in her underwear, touching herself, naked, bent over,etc...
A. 28 November 2007: I think its VERY wrong of your bf to keep NAKED photos of his ex gf. It IS NOT the same as porn. Tell him this, because it trly isnt. Porn is a fantasy!! His ex is reality! She exists. He has met her and done all those things with her. Very ... (read in full...)
Men!!! Why are they so confusing?
Q. Men! why are they confusing, ok.. I am happy happy happy wid my boyf..4 years..we have ups and downs..but all good..! we both share the same best mate..he use to be my boyfs best pal..but now hes mine too! we have a laugh..and when i first met...
A. 28 November 2007: Either theres some miscommunication thats gone on, so thats why you both think each other asked each other out, OR he is lieing because hes embarrsed you said no, or maybe he feels weird that he asked out his now best mates gf? ... (read in full...)
I was going out with a control freak, but then again was it my fault he was like this?
Q. I knew things between my ex and I were changing the weekend he went away on vacation snowmobiling for 5 days with his friends. I didn't live with him at the time, and the night before his trip he yelled at me because I didn't have the oufit he was ...
A. 27 November 2007: There is NO doubt in my mind that your ex bf was emotionaly abusing you. No doubt at all. You were not to blame. He is an ABUSER, and thats what they do, they blame EVERYONE and ANYONE around them, as long as it is not thereself. Please please ... (read in full...)
People call me a slut, but it's not true, how can I stop this?
Q. ok,so at school im called a slut.i dont even know why.guys usually say to their friends that if they need to "get some",then go to me.but im not like that.i do have a big chest and a big butt,but id give up all that to stop being called a slut.i ...
A. 26 November 2007: Well you cant really 'prove' you are not a slut. People will judge you by how you look, you dress, what you say & do, who you hang around with and so on...so either you can keep on doing what your doing which makes them judge you wrong (as a slut) ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend and I have an open relationship because we're so far apart but it's making me depressed
Q. Me and my girlfriend started an "open" relationship about a month ago. We had an intense relationship this summer and I fell in love with her. I went back to school at the end of the summer, and she stayed where we met. When we parted, the ...
A. 25 November 2007: I agree with what daniel said in his point C, how an open relationship is just like have friends with benefits, or f*ck buddies as called it. I dont think that if you really lvoe someone, having an open relationship or frineds with benefits would ... (read in full...)
She seems to be turning me away.
Q. Hi DearCupid. Ive been seeing this girl for about 2 months now and its finaly official. Problem is we started out great going over to eachothers place ect ect. Now everytime i put an idea forward to go over to her's she says yea no probs the ...
A. 23 November 2007: I could think of millions of possibilities of why she is acting like this...but in the end you still won't know whats going on, thats why I think its important you talk to her. Like someone else suggested, gently raise the issue with her. Dont ... (read in full...)
Broke up many times, but still want him back. Help!
Q. ok, me and my ex boyfriend got 2gether 6 times and only got back 2gether 5times.its bin a week since we boke up and all i can do is think of him.i have never felt so special about a guy b4.i tried everything to get over him but its doesnt work!!he ...
A. 22 November 2007: Breakups are always hard, especially your first break up. Is this your first guy you have been out with and been dumped by?
The first thing you need to do, to be able to get over him, is to ACCEPT that it is over. It doesnt seem like you are real... (read in full...)
I had sex with him on the first night out, which I had never done before! Now he accuses me for that!
Q. I am 45 just divorced and met this man. He seems genuine and caring and loving. I've been unhappy for a long time in my marraige for years. So I decided to go for this man. I had sex with him on the first night out. It's something I've never ...
A. 20 November 2007: Who is he to make you feel bad when HE slept with you on the first night too??? Seriously how does that even make sense in his head? Is there one rule for men and another for women? Or one rule for him and another for him? Talk about double ... (read in full...)
Normal to have hair around the nipple area? I'm very self-conscious about it.
Q. I have a lot of hair growing around my nipple areas. I am very self-conscious about it. My boyfriend has noticed them before but he says it doesnt bother him. I try to pluck as much off without letting him see them. It's so annoying though to keep ...
A. 20 November 2007: Alot of women have that. The only time it may be considered 'unsual' is if you had alot of body hair, then there may be a hormonal imbalance. I suggest if it really bothers you, and you have alot of other body hair, then see a doctor. ... (read in full...)
I don't want my parents to break up my relationship. Help!
Q. hi. i've been with my guy for almost 2 years. We love each other a lot however for the past few months we've been fighting about little stuff and big stuff. We'd get into arguements about nothing and then make up..and then we'd get into big fights ...
A. 19 November 2007: I think most of the time, that you should listen to the people who are closest to you, those who care about you most, because they can see things objectivly, without love blinding their vision type of thing. However sometimes parents judgment can be ... (read in full...)
Has my boyfriend cheated and given me a sexually transmitted infection?
Q. My boyfriend of 1 year (we don't live together) left his email open on my computer recently. I couldn't help but look, and as it turns out he has a profile on AdultMatchMaker looking for someone special to share 'oral sex and one on one sex'. when ...
A. 18 November 2007: I think its pretty clear that he is no good. But its probably hard for you to be sure of that because you have so many emotions involved and so badly want to see him as good.
I cant say hes cheating and be 100% sure, but I think it is pretty o... (read in full...)
Is it cheating when a wife exchanges expensive gifts and dates another man, even if they never had sex.
Q. A married woman dates a man who is not her husband and for Christmas gives him a gift of a Playstation and two games while accepting an expensive watch in return. She never had sex with this man, but has embraced him and seen him behind her ...
A. 18 November 2007: I would define that as cheating. Obviously, no matter how you define what she did, the fact is she did hurt your feelings and it played a role in the ending of your relationship...so she probably feels guilty more then liekly..and like many people, ... (read in full...)
My ex is pregnant, has agreed to a abortion and I have no problem with it, am I a bad person
Q. I broke up with my ex as i found information she was cheating on me. she denies it and still does a month later (she was telling another guy "i love you"). the problem now is that she is pregnant. apparently the docs were able to tell her the exact ...
A. 16 November 2007: You're not a bad person for wanting her to have an abortion, what may make you a bad person is if the baby was born and you turning your back on it.
What may also make you a bad person is if you were to let something similar happen again. You cant... (read in full...)
Should I see a psycologist for my trust issues - or manage by myself? I feel guilty after I send him check-messages.
Q. hello i need some good advice please. I have a trust problem. I ve read some of the trust articles here and some had really good answers. well done. Im in a relationship which we love each other so much and we ve been together for a year and a ha...
A. 15 November 2007: Go see a psycologist. Seriously, do it. If you try to manage by yourself I doubt you will improve much, beause isnt that what you have alreayd tried? You are obviously lost as to what to do. And fairly often when you have such issues, the help of a ... (read in full...)
Can I get some advise or some clues as to why he may be acting like this?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been talking for 2 1/2 years now. We have just started going out this year. But, recently he's been talking kind of mean to me. He has told me that I am not a part of his family. Any other guy would conside his girlfriend a ...
A. 15 November 2007: God knows why he is acting like this, but what I think I can confidently say to you is that he is emotionaly abusing you. He seems to lack respect for you. And you deserve respect and shouldnt accept anything else.
I would say the reason why he h... (read in full...)
Past and present family alcohol abuse is damaging my relationships and feelings with people I love.
Q. my grandpa was an alcoholic, as was his brother and they almost split up our family and made my grans life a misry. my grandpa is now recovered and the family is getn on well. my parents always like to drink too. they dnt get drunk all the time but ...
A. 10 November 2007: I have been in a similar situation before. I like you, have seen alcohol destory people and relationships. So its only natrual really to fear what it may do to your bf. But like you said yourself, you trust him that he knows his limits and you know ... (read in full...)
He's controlling, what can I do.
Q. I broke up with my ex a month ago, and a week later he had all these new girls added to his myspace. He kept calling me for awhile saying how much he loved me, but how could that be true if he already has all these blondes that are 19 and 21 on his ...
A. 10 November 2007: I know its hard to let go. And it can be particularly annoying/frustrating when he appears to be Mr Perfect to all these other girls when he was a total abusive jerk to you! Ive been in a similar situation before. And sometimes I stil get that ... (read in full...)
It's difficult to leave, hot to save myself?
Q. hie how do you let go of a guy who you know is just using you but does not love you who wants sex from you only but you want more from him, i have tried leaving such a guy but its been difficult.how do i save myself?...
A. 10 November 2007: Well you have to take a close look at why it is so difficult. What stoped you from leaving him? What drew you back to him? Is it because you are dependent on him? Fear feeling alone? Is it because having him as your bf makes you feel ... (read in full...)
Is he only sticking around for sex?
Q. An old aquaintance and I recently got back in touch, and we have gone out every weekend for the past three weeks. We hit it off, and there was obviously chemistry, and in the heat of the moment, we had sex that first night and have continued to each ...
A. 6 November 2007: You have the right to stop the sex and thats what I think you should do. Dont continue doing it with him until you are sure he is serious about the two of you and shows signs of commitment.
Sure he may levae if you give him that ultimatu... (read in full...)
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