Hi. I have been with my girlfriend a month now, and it was going great. Until last night. We were kissing and I thought maybe we could move to the next step. So I undid her bra at the back but she immediatly stopped kissing and shook her head. I feel really bad now, she won't tell me how she really feels. Please help.
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reader, happytochat +, writes (1 January 2006):This girl can't be angry at you, because its not your fault. Sure you went to take a further step then she may of wanted but did she tell you ever before that she did not want to go that far? You had no way of knowing. She must be angry at herself that she almost let something happen that she didn't want to.
If she holds a grudge against you well then thats her problem. As soon as she gave you the sign that she didn't want to go any further, you didn't pressure her and that shows alot about the person you are, a good one. Just re explain to her that you had no idea that she didnt want to go that far and that you went a bit to fast and are sorry for making her feel in any bad way she might of. But also tell her that you both need to discuss how far yo uwant to go. Otherwise mistakes like this may happen again.
Don't feel guilty, it was a mistake.
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reader, Bev Conolly +, writes (31 December 2005):It's OK. Don't worry.
You took things a step further than she wanted to go, but she didn't have any hesitation in showing she didn't want to do that. (Good for her, by the way, and my saying that doesn't mean I think you did anything wrong. You just moved too fast for your girlfriend.)
All you need to do is to make sure she understands that you're sorry you overstepped, and let her know that you won't do anything she's uncomfortable with in future.
That's all you can do, isn't it? If she doesn't forgive you for such a small indescretion then she's not really old enough to be in a relationship with anyone, but I'm betting she's as anxious to put this behind her as you are.
Apologise, then ask if you can both move on. I feel confident that she'll say Yes.
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