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female
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* wnt Aniyah
writes: I want to have a baby, but my fiancee doesnt.What can I do to make him change his mind? Its stressing me out a whole lot and im feeling unhappy and depress @ times
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female
reader, I wnt Aniyah +, writes (2 January 2006):
I wnt Aniyah is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell I thank you for the answers you gave me. And to answer one of your questions; He does want to have kids(2 to be exact) but he just wants to wait and he says hes scared. Im still very young & so is he. I understand his reasons for wanting to wait, but I guess you can say im being selfish & stuburn..
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2005): The real question here is when this guy asked you to marry him and you said yes did you know that this was his position on children, or is the fact that he doesnt want children something you where aware of all along? The one piece of advice I would give is never marry a man thinking I dont like that but I'll change it. Never ever marry a mn thinking you can change his attitude to anything. This is one of those questions that all couples should discuss in depth before getting married lets face it its a deal breaker if you want a child and he doesnt then the only thing to do is split because if you feel that he kept you from having your own child this will lead to deep resentment maybe even hatred of him! Maybe he hasnt really thought about it in terms of actually loosing you erhaps if you put it in that context and he realises that you really do want a baby more than anything maybe even more than him itll make him think more seriously about it,also the other question is, is he saying no or not right now.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2005): Buy a great lingerie, sometimes men talk first without such act, wear them and your man will be staring at you... try it...
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female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (27 December 2005):
Well I must ask, why did you and him get engaged in the first place? Didn't you talk about what you both want in life, like kids and so on.
I think that before even continuing with the wedding you both have to sit down and talk about what you want in life, kids careers, homes, money, religion, cars- everything.
People shoudlnt go into mariage without finding out if they both can live with each other.
Honestly, if he doesnt want a kid and wont come around then thats it, dont 'persuade' him or anything like that, because that would be manipulating him and he will forever have anger if you pretty much force him into saying 'yes i want a kid'.
If you both cant aggree and compromise on your future i strongly suggest thinking twice about thise proposed marriiage.
A child that isn't wanted by one or both parents won't be happy, he/she will notice when born.
Find out exactly why he doesnt want a baby, perhaps he is just really scared? Then find a way to calm those fears and work through them.
Also is it that he NEVER wants to have children of just riight now?
You really need to talk to him about it more. and all those other issues i listed, because if you go into this marriage with you wanting a kid and him not, you will both become very bitter people as you want somethign that is so iimpportnat ot you yet he doesnt.
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