A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Did I do the right thing?Am a gay female, quieter loving and quiet person, been out of the gay scene a while, been years since my last girlfriend or date.Have tried dating apps this past 2years and met 3 people. One now a friend, one was a player and never saw her again. One was weird.Apps arent easy! and I’ve come across a few nasty women and game players, and those who judged too quick, expected! They were quickly blocked.I was chatting to this woman “Mary” for 6 weeks, older thanMe, and we planned on meeting for coffee but as I’m a shift worker it’s hard to find a convenient day for us both and she has no insight into shiftworker and told me “wow, weekends” yes weekends! I work some and I have some off.I put a few b and w photos of me on the app, 3/4 of my face asI’m super insecure of my looks and am average and very pale (which has resulted in Rejection and nasty comments about getting a tan)Mary was quite judgemental.. commenting on my photos and saying i need to make them color not b and w, and my whole face.Mary and I also messaged about the frustrations of internet dating And the odd People you come across.She asked me if I was Female Had ever had a rshipIf my name was even true.If I was genuine or a player like the others Very judgeWe smoothed things over and made small talk, agreeing to meet end of feb I left the app out of frustration of the women there and gave her my “kik” app name to keep chatting with. She messaged me once, I then rejoined the app 2 weeks ago, giving it one more chance. We briefly chatted. It.I “liked” 7 other women on the app but heard nothing from anyone.So I’m Leaving it, for a while.I sent Mary a message today saying his and telling her to contact me on kik, if she wanted Was this ok?She’ll think I’m a player which I’m not!I have selective mutism , which means I’m socially anxious in groups.I’m not on the autism spectrum!! Just extrmeme soclal group anxiety.I’ve met many women over the years online, for coffee, 99% I never see again.I’m not sure I even want to meet her, she’s way more experienced and she’s suspicious of me and me of her, but we’ve been chatting 6 weeks!Help!What if I don’t hear from her see her on kik but see her around and she recognises me?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2018): It’s good to be cautious but don’t close yourself off.
A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (28 January 2018):
 Well, what if? No bones broken. It is always going to be fraught when you try to find someone online. If you live in the outback then I can understand that it is perhaps your best chance. Otherwise keep it real why don't you. Find real people in real life. Anyone can say anything about themselves online. They may not even be female.
It sounds like you current person of interest has been burned so is being as cautious as you.
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