A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I had been dating a man off and on for 3 years now. He wants to get married and start a family and I am the one who has major reservations. Our relationship has not been the most stable so until it is, marriage makes me nervous. I do love him. And I really want it to work. But it just isn't. We break up, get back together and then the same issues we had before pop up again. Constant cycle and not healthy. The problem is I can't seem to move on. I've tried to date but I can't stop thinking about him. I think about him all the time. And while yes, I know being away from our drama and issues is good, I miss him so much. It's like this addiction I can't seem to shake. I have never had this problem before. Normally I can move on and not dwell much on the past. I guess it's because I love him so and the thought of us finally moving on with other people crushes me. I know he feels that way too because we've talked about it. I have cried so many tears over him and our relationship and I just need to move on. Easier said then done. Any advice?
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female
reader, LovelyLo +, writes (2 January 2018):
Just my opinion. Best to call quits. Hate to say you might be wasting ur time. You said it yourself, yall r always breaking up, that its not healthly relationship etc etc.
Love is a strong feeling. Love can also hurt. Its okay to feel heartbroken. People grow and change all the time. Its not fair for either of you.
Hes ready for a family, and if that what he truely wants and thats not on ur agenda then love him enough to let him go.
Eventually youll find someone to distract your distract your mind lol.
A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (1 January 2018):
 Have you considered trying to get to the root of what your disagreements stem from? Perhaps some relationship counselling would be something to try. It sounds as if you both care for each other, but you keep running into the same old problems. Then you and he throw your toys out of the pram, and stomp off.
Ask yourselves, what is the alternative? If that alternative course seems the right one then you have to accept the consequences - and turn the page to a new chapter.
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