A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So I've been with my bf of and on for the past two years he is 28 I am 32. Recently things have been really progressing with us it's been good. He has told me that he has wanted to take a trip to Canada and for financial reasons I am just strapped at the moment and don't want to make him pay for everything, but I told him as soon as I can save up we will def go. So last night he called me and said he wanted to see me since we saw each other on tues. I was not feeling very well so I just wanted to relax and stay in . He said he would call and check up on me. In a little while. I did not hear from him I called him the next day and got no response until a little while later he said he just decided to drive to Canada for the weekend . And told me not to be mad. I was just surprised then the conversation ended. Should I be mad? am I jumping the gun I just feel hurt. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (6 March 2016):
 I'm with Ciar.
You told him you weren't feeling that good, so he decided to give you some space to feel better.
Though I think he could have told you ahead of time that he was spending the week-end in Canada.
Overall, I don't see the big deal either.
I live a couple of hours from Canada (haven't been yet) but my husband have. He went on a week-end fishing trip with his brother and some other guys. Now I knew ahead of time so I didn't feel left out or anything. I actually encouraged him to go and have a good week-end. And I enjoyed my own quiet week-end.
Dating or being married doesn't mean you are joined at the hip and MUST do everything together. BUT I do think your BF i a little inconsiderate in not letting you know that he went. My guess is... he thinks it's easier to "beg" forgiveness than ask for your "permission".
Why are you two on/off?
And why do you feel you should be angry at him? For going? Or not telling you?
A
female
reader, LJCX  +, writes (6 March 2016):
 It doesn't matter if you are right next door, how many miles is it from the most southern point of the US to the most northern? I live in the UK and the distance between Florida and Canada is the same as me driving to Greece for the weekend. I don't know how close you actually are to Canada but it's still another country.The fact that you made plans to save to go together makes it completely selfish. I don't really know many people who go off travelling to different countries alone for the weekend and to be honest I find it a bit bizarre.He could have actually told you he was going before he went and if he can get himself there by driving then it wouldn't exactly cost him extra for you to sit in the passenger seat. It's not like he spent money on a flight.In any case England is right next door to me, if I ignored my boyfriend for the day who I promised to get in touch with and then suddenly sprung the fact that I was in Wolverhampton or something for the weekend I very much doubt he would be impressed with me.He did it in a sneaky way. I don't want to say get mad with him or argue I just don't get why he did it.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (6 March 2016):
 Most people, especially women, would feel hurt for no reason in an on and off relationship. There's nothing to be bad about, the fact that he went to Canada without you. The question might be, what's he doing up there that could be causing you anger? Did you have a pattern that you get mad at him for something, then you argue and break up? Did he specifically asked you to go with him, or you were confident that it were meant to be for you two?
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A
female
reader, Ciar + ♥, writes (6 March 2016):
 What is there to be angry about?
You're right next door to us so it's not like it has to be a once in a lifetime trip.
I don't see a big deal here.
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