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Why is he not scared that I'll become pregnant?

Tagged as: Pregnancy<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 March 2016) 8 Answers - (Newest, 21 March 2016)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

There's this guy that i am seeing that i had sex with on the third date, after that it has been once a week(everytime we meet).

We have seen eachother for approximately 2-3 months. BUT, there is one thing i dont understand. He always comes inside of me, even though he thinks im not on the pill. I am. And we have never had the talk about to-abort or not to abort, so he has no clue whether i would keep a potential baby or not.

Why arent he scared that i'll become pregnant????

He has had a pregnancy scare with another woman before.(miscarriage) He is a mature guy with a lot going on in his life and he hasnt known me long at all, why is he so chill about this??

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (21 March 2016):

So_Very_Confused agony auntnot his uterus not his issue.

He's not scared.. he does not care.

have you been tested for STDs? I would have a full panel screening as a man who can so easily think he may impregnate a woman may not care if he has a sexually transmitted disease to share.

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A female reader, deirdre Ireland +, writes (21 March 2016):

Because he is selfish and doesnt particularly care once he gets his fun. Sorry to be blunt but it is what it is. I dont feel you know this guy well enough and that maybe communication isnt what it should be. Please heed the well thought out advice of previous posters here and look out for your wellbeing. The pill is not 100% foolproof and you dont want to catch a STI. Best wishes

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2016):

he will have his life to change over night. he wants what he can get for free without having to have responsibility of ownership.

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A female reader, WhenCowsAttack United States +, writes (20 March 2016):

Whoa, what do you mean why is he not scared?

Why are you being so irresponsible? Why aren't you on the pill and using condoms? Don't you care about your health and your future?

Do you really want to have a baby with some random guy you really know nothing about?

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (20 March 2016):

Tisha-1 agony auntHe doesn’t care if you become pregnant or not because he isn’t going to take care of any babies that he might be involved in making.

I expect he’s delighted he’s found someone who doesn’t care about her own personal health and well-being so much to the extent she takes frankly ridiculous risks, just for a few moments of involuntary genital contractions.

He’s not chill, he just doesn’t care all that much what might happen to you.

Why are you not scared you’ll get an STI?

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (19 March 2016):

Ciar agony auntThe pill is also compromised by use of some medications such as antibiotics, unless things have changed and that's no longer an issue. And remember that no contraception is 100% all of the time.

He's not overly concerned because he assumes you've got that under control somehow. That if you do become pregnant you can either get an abortion or keep the child and collect welfare, or give the baby up for adoption. Whatever happens he figures he doesn't have to be there.

We can't know for sure, obviously, but it's a safe bet that whatever his reason it isn't a sign that you're 'the one' and he wants kids.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (19 March 2016):

Honeypie agony auntWhy worry about what HE is or isn't thinking?

WHY are you letting him come inside you if you have no idea of his full sexual history and possible STD's?

Maybe he just don't give a hoot. After all if you did get pregnant he can always "vanish" and leave you with the mess, so why worry?

But to answer your question.. I think your guy doesn't use the head to the North to think with... he just follows the "lower" one. And the lower one just wants to get his rocks off.

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A female reader, like I see it United States +, writes (19 March 2016):

like I see it agony auntJust a friendly reminder, the pill is completely useless against STIs so please consider a barrier method unless you've both tested clean and you trust him to be exclusive with you.

Now that that's out of the way, I agree it's a little odd he hasn't asked you about contraception. He may just be assuming you're on birth control after you didn't ask him to wear a condom on that third date. I dare say most women don't know a man well enough after three dates to be certain that they'd want to have a baby with him, so he probably figured you must be taking something if you weren't also concerned about a possible pregnancy.

Then again, you do mention he's had a scare about this already with someone else so negligence when it comes to contraception may just be a bad habit of his. Some men really don't care for the feeling of a condom so maybe he's thinking with his hormones, common sense be damned.

Truly the only way to know for sure where his head's at (the bigger head, that is) is to ask him.

Good luck and best wishes.

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