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Do women dream about male virgins too?

Tagged as: Sex, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 January 2017) 19 Answers - (Newest, 6 February 2017)
A male Switzerland age 30-35, *omi00077 writes:

Dear female cupids

Many men dream of making love to a virgin Girl and teach her all about sex. Do women dream about male virgins too?

Personally I haven't had this Kind of desire, although i lost my own virginity to another virgin. My first time was good, but also a bit clumsy. It was wonderful to discover sex together. But still now, 20 years later, i often do fantasize about how it would have been that I would have lost my virginity to an experienced and older woman. She would have taught me how to please her and many other wonderful Things. Do women like that exist or do women usually want the man to take the lead?

In that context another question. Are there women who would like to role play such a Scenario (as i'm not that Young nor a virgin anymore)? Or would that be too weird?

View related questions: lost my virginity

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2017):

From my perspective, the answer is "depends". Being a fat ugly male virgin who's never kissed a girl, no woman is dreaming about me and seeking me out. It's just that simple.

If he's good looking and in shape, then I think there would be some women who would be curious about him being a virgin. To the point where some would want to "help" him out with that.

So yeah, in my opinion it just depends on what you look like.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2017):

Not me!

I prefer a man who teaches me!

And that is exactly what I got.

I was the virgin. He was much older.

It was and is quite a HOT fantasy!

;)

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A female reader, chigirl Norway + , writes (10 January 2017):

chigirl agony auntAh, that's the classic student/teacher fantasy. I love those. They work for me in all scenarios, even boss/secretary, young/old etc, and doesn't matter to me which gender is in each role. It's a classic. One is the seducer, the taker, the other is the naive and innocent being lured in. It's not so much about dom/sub, really. To me it's a fantasy about the power of seduction. Dom/sub is more about controlling and being without power.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom + , writes (10 January 2017):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntLots of women would try that, if fantasies are openly talked about. The problem would be expecting them to want it outright. you have to be the one to mention it, if she doesn't, as it might not be her fantasy, but it doesn't mean no woman would try it, if you were in a serious relationship.

Obviously, if she didn't want to, that's fine. However, you then decide how important the fantasy is to you - better than the relationship or not?

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A male reader, tomi00077 Switzerland +, writes (10 January 2017):

tomi00077 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

tomi00077 agony auntThanks for all your answers. Maybe it's another Thing that fascinates me about this Fantasy. I think there is also a bit of a dom/Sub active/passive element in it. In my Fantasy the woman would clearly take the lead. Showing me where she wuold like to be touched and how, explanining her Body to me, and then helping me penetrate her. I would certainly not act just as a passiv doll, but i'd love her to take the lead, which is something i haven't experienced that often when making love to a woman.

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A male reader, tomi00077 Switzerland +, writes (10 January 2017):

tomi00077 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

tomi00077 agony aunt@honeypie

I have faded These aspects out as for me the most important Thing regarding love and sex is mutual consent. But you are right, that in many cultures female virginity is very important. Maybe its also that in contrast to females, you cannot tell, whether a man is a virgin or not, at least not physically.

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A male reader, tomi00077 Switzerland +, writes (10 January 2017):

tomi00077 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

tomi00077 agony aunt@chigirl

Thank you for that tip. Let me know if you have any recommendations what to read, maybe via pn?

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A male reader, tomi00077 Switzerland +, writes (10 January 2017):

tomi00077 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

tomi00077 agony aunt@singingbluebird I agree with you but might add, that the same Level of playfulness or willingness to Experiment is also very important. Wasn't it Special to know that you are the first woman that is touched by a man, that he will never ever Forget how your Skin feels?

@ Anonymous. Well i think the past makes you to what you are. But i agree with you that in an ongoing relationship the past is secondary if the Person doesn't get bothered or preoccupied by it.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (9 January 2017):

Honeypie agony auntI'm sure you can find people who are up for JUST about anything these days.

I do think the amount of women looking for a male "virgin" is WAY lower than men. NOT because they WANT an "experienced" partner but because there isn't as high a "value" on virginity in men as there is in women. For many religions and cultures, a woman's value is tied to her virginity and it's somehow a "badge of honor" for a woman to "save" herself whereas society expects the men to get as MUCH "experience" as they can, sow their "wild oats" before marriage.

But who knows?

Personally, I don't nor did I ever give a flying fart about "virginity". For me, it's irrelevant - all that mattered is that the PERSON was someone who was a good MATCH for me in every aspect.

Maybe you should look for people with that kind of kink? (fetish) and see what pops up?

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A female reader, chigirl Norway + , writes (9 January 2017):

chigirl agony auntYes, there are women who like this fantasy/like male virgins. It's not as hyped up in porn, because porn is made primarily for men to watch. But if you read romance novels, which are very sexual as well, it's the type of porn women read... There are MANY scenarios of male virgins there too.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2017):

I have to just say that I disagree with Brown Wolf. About how anyone would choose a brand new lover with no previous owners. Firstly, you can't speak for everyone and certainly not for me. I am a woman who falls for a man because of the way he is, smells, makes me feel etc etc. I could not care less if is a brand new model or had many owners. Once we were together, the past is the past.

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A female reader, singinbluebird United States +, writes (9 January 2017):

singinbluebird agony auntYes, and I have made love to two virgins. And it wasnt that great to be honest. I think its a fantasy to make a guy cum or to take him for first time and wow him...but the woman isnt satisfied usually with a virgin. My experience is that the best lovers are those with about same experience level. Ive dated men with more experience and less experience and virgins. The best one that I felt safe with and had amazing sex was the guys who had same amount of experience/partners/outlook on sex. Hope this helps =)

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A male reader, BrownWolf Canada +, writes (9 January 2017):

BrownWolf agony aunt

A woman will express herself no problem...but she needs a few things from the man first.

One...TRUST...To know she can trust you completely with her body, and her mind.

Two...She is the ONLY ONE... If a woman has any insecurities that she may not be the only one you want to try these things with, she will not open up. She wants to know you want her as she is, not because of what you saw on a porn site, or because of what you and your ex have done before her. Anything you try must be because of her, her needs, and her desires only.

Three... DO NOT JUDGE!!!... Be careful what your ask for...she may freak you out. She may want to experiment in ways you yourself may not be comfortable with. If that happens...DO NOT JUDGE HER!! If you do, she will shutdown, and never express herself again.

Women are afraid of how the man will judge them, if she truly says what she wants. Nothing hurts a woman more, then when a man judges, or criticises her womanly ways. Whether it be house cleaning, to how she performs in the bedroom.

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A male reader, tomi00077 Switzerland +, writes (9 January 2017):

tomi00077 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

tomi00077 agony aunt@Cindy

Thank you for your answer. I agree with you that one should "talk during sex" about what one likes and what one doesn't. And i would wish for a relationship in which both parties are willing to sometimes try something new. In my not that exhaustive experience, i noticed that women sometimes are afraid of expressing their Needs and desires, which i find a pity. I would love to try new Things out to bring her pleasure. And i'm sure that one can find out a lot by experimenting, which is super fun to do, but i think it would be lovely, if the woman sometimes said waat she wants.

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A male reader, tomi00077 Switzerland +, writes (9 January 2017):

tomi00077 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

tomi00077 agony aunt@Brown Wolf

Thank you for your answer.

I totally agree with you that sex and love are not the same and that sex with love is by far better than only sex.

What i think of would be some Kind of summer romance or something like that, Lasting much longer than only a Brief "hump".

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A male reader, BrownWolf Canada +, writes (9 January 2017):

BrownWolf agony aunt

Let me put it this way....

If you can afford to buy a brand new sports car, with all the upgrades, zero mileage, new car smell, the works. Would you turn that down for a car that is used, high mileage, in need of maintenance, and had several owners? No one in their right minds would do such a thing.

Same thing goes for a virgin...male or female. As a man, we want to be the first driver, first owner, first one to teach her all she knows. Same if it was a woman.

What is the point of being with a more experience woman or man, and have them teach you EVERYTHING?? Then what?? You will be constantly looking for other sexual partners to try to teach you something you have not experience before. Sex no longer becomes fun. It becomes a NEED to find more crazy ways to get off. Like a drug addict. More you use, more you need to get your fix.

When two virgins explore each other over the years, everything is new and exciting. You have years to enjoy each other. If you try something and it hurts or becomes awkward...what does that teach you? It teaches the man to have more patients with his partner's body. To be more gently, caring, loving, attentive, and responsive.

If you get a woman who you can just hump away like a wild beast...then what? What did you learn then?

Women are NOT a place to stick your di*k and call it love. There is lot more attached to the part between her legs.

Don't get me wrong...There are lots of women who loves a good romp. But even they love a little slow down every so often...and if you as a man have no idea how to slow things down, and be more caring, loving, and attentive, or have no idea how to make love to her...you will run into problems.

That is why it is better for a woman to keep her virginity...to teach the man to love her first. To teach him how to be caring, loving, attentive, gently, and responsive. Not just to hump away.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy + , writes (9 January 2017):

CindyCares agony aunt I partially disagree with N91, in the sense that the experienced man is a myth that seduces more the male imagination than the female one. For the simple reason that each woman is different, with a body that responds to certain things and not to others, with her own sexual triggers and erogenous zones and preferences etc., so I could not care less about all the "experience" they have accrued with other women, who like different things than me. I don't care if he knows - or THINKS he knows what he is doing, if he is not doing what works for me and turns ME on.

As a matter of fact, I had a couple of times (.. maybe more ..:)) to disabuse, as gently and diplomatically as I could, my partners of the notion that " this is how it's done and all women love it " - sorry , naaah, it does not work this way. More so when mist of the experience is gleaned from porn, or from having encounters with young women not really attuned yet to their bodies and therefore eager to just follow the lead and be shown " the way "- or, worse but alas very common, with women who were faking orgasms but were too afraid to jeopardize or lose the relationship to pipe up and say " Erm, wrong move. I like it THIS way instead ".

In short, IMO experience is overrated. Sex is simple and natural, it's not like learning Chinese or trigonometry. If the more experienced woman is patient, non judgemental and has some sense of humpour, it does not take a long time at all for " student " and " teacher " to find a common groove. This even starting from the equivalent of a first grader in school, i.e. a virgin male.

Said that, although I did have virgin or not really experienced partners , and it never fazed me, and it was an occasion to grew, sexually and emotionally, together- I never set out to chase virgins on purpose, and I don't know any woman who does. A very first experience has its downsides too, naturally, and while these are not enough to scare a woman away, they are not either something that one would go seeking appositely.

It just... does not really matter. Either way.

As for your second question, " weird " is a vague and very personal definition. If you meet someone who is not into role play, full stop, she would find it weird. Then again, not more weird than pretending to be doctor and nurse, a hooker and her john, ... or any other of the hundreds of scenarios which may turn people on.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom + , writes (9 January 2017):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntFor once, I disagree with N91; most women wouldn't care if a guy was a virgin, unless they're only looking for a hook up or if him being a virgin at 40 is a red flag, kind of thing.

Some women like experienced men, but that doesn't mean they'd rule out a virgin one. Other women do like teaching virgin guys because they can teach them what they like. That said, I don't think many women dream about virgin guys, just because it seems like an odd thing to dream about.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom + , writes (9 January 2017):

N91 agony auntI don't think a woman who's not a Virgin would actively seek out a man who is a Virgin. I'd imagine a female to want a man who knows what he's doing as sex can become very awkward if one of the parties doesn't really know what they're doing.

Possibly its a fetish for some women, I wouldn't rule that out. But for the majority I think women would like a man who's experiencned in the bedroom.

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