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He still has a dating profile up ...

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 January 2017) 7 Answers - (Newest, 11 January 2017)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My new boyfriend ( of 2 week ) still has a dating profile online , hes open about it and says he has 'friends' on there . should i tell him he needs to prove theyre friends by showing me the conversations hes having or demand he deletes his profile . I know theres other ways people keep in contact but not everyone adds people on social media. By no means am i making excuses for him and im no walk over . I think hes keeping it just incase it doesnt work out between us but having that profile is not helping things , he knows im looking at us long term and i did tell him he needs to delete his profile but he still hasnt . what do i do ?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2017):

Tell him it's either keeping his profile or keeping you.

His choice.

You don't need to be played, blind sided or strung along by a player.

Whatever choice he makes will show you his true colors.

Stand firm. There are just way too many losers out there willing and able to use you for sex while trying to reel in other women for sex at the same time. In fact, the sole purpose of most men on these sites is trying to fuck as many women as they can. That's the cold, hard truth. Don't let him treat you that way. You are too special to be one of many!

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (11 January 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntI think you are demanding a lot for only being with him two weeks, you will be lucky if this lasts another two weeks if you are going to keep making demands to him. This should be the period where you are both having fun getting to know each other, going on dates and enjoying each others company. So far it doesn't sound like it is off to a good start. It is more than likely he is thinking it is not going to last and that is why he has not taken down the profile. However you must also have been on it if you say he still had his profile there?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2017):

2 weeks of being an official boyfriend is just around the time he should be taking down his profile on his own.

He probably just wants to make sure that this brand new relationship will "gel" so to speak, that you are truly going to be an item before taking it down.

I think he definitely needs to take it down soon. I imagine you've known each other for longer than the 2 weeks you've been official? Thus he should be committing to be faithful.

If he still hasn't done it by the end of the month I would say you have insight that he is looking to play the field.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway + , writes (9 January 2017):

chigirl agony auntYes, he is keeping it because he doesn't think your relationship will last, so he doesn't want to stop the contact his has with the other "potentials" online.

If they were real friends he'd have added them elsewhere to keep contact with them, not on a dating app. And people who go on dating apps are not there to make friends. So I smell BS.

No, my dear, you do not tell him to delete the profile or make demands. You simply realize that your new boyfriend is a dickwit and end things. Count yourself lucky he revealed his commitment issues this early on, so you only wasted two weeks and not two years.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (9 January 2017):

Honeypie agony auntJeeeeez lady!

It's been 2 weeks! You don't OWN him. It's IMHO perfectly OK to keep your profile up for a few more weeks. He isn't COMMITTED to you just because you have given him the "BF" title.

RELAX or you will push him away.

GET to know him, SEE if he (aside from his profile) is someone you can SEE yourself with long term. After 2 weeks HE is still a stranger and YOU are still a stranger.

And yes, I can see why he keeps his dating profile when you are being so pushy to tell him what to do.

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A male reader, BrownWolf Canada + , writes (9 January 2017):

BrownWolf agony aunt

Two weeks and you want rights into his life, conversations, and his friends???

How long do you plan for this to last? Two more weeks?

Yes he is right...Two weeks is not written in stone that things will work out. Has he made it clear that you are exclusive? Or are you just assuming he is now your boyfriend?

Trust... or lack of it.. is one thing that will destroy or build up your relationship.

Go into this with both eyes opened, both ears like radar, and your mind calm, and receptive.

In other words, do not let what you see, or hear, drive your thoughts crazy with insecurities, and judgements. Stay calm, but make sound decisions as to where the relationship goes.

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A female reader, NORA B Ireland + , writes (9 January 2017):

As you stated your new boyfriend of 2 weeks,this is a very short time.Right now do not do anything,because if you do he could very well deceide that he is not happy being told what to do.A relationship is build on friendship and above all Trust.Now i know this is a new love for you and you are very serious about him, and that he is upsetting you by not deleting his profile.....but give him a chance...give yourself time to get to know him.However there is harm at all in both of you having friends outside your relationship.No reason to mistrust unless he gives you reason to do so.Enjoy the start of your new romance.Best wishes NORA B.

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