My work colleague has left his wife for me. Should I get involved?
Q. I have been working at my work place for 11 months. It became obvious 6 months ago that one of my married work colleagues had developed feelings for me. He constantly hung around my office area during his lunch. I steadfastly ignored him. Even some ...
A. 22 February 2010: I applaud you for not getting involved with this guy just yet. However, I can't imagine anyone leaving an unhealthy relationship and successfully moving into a successful one without taking some downtime to recover and reflect. Clearly his marriage ... (read in full...)
I told him I would call his home!
Q. I was in a relationship with a married man and I thought I got pregnant and tried to contact him several times. So I called him a few times for about 5 days and he didn't answer. Then I sent him a message stating that I thought I was pregnant and I ...
A. 4 January 2010: At this point, none of this matters anyway since the relationship is over, right? There's no need to go back and forth over right and wrong because this ENTIRE situation is wrong on so many levels. It's over. Let it go.
Now that he's gone, pl... (read in full...)
I told him I would call his home!
Q. I was in a relationship with a married man and I thought I got pregnant and tried to contact him several times. So I called him a few times for about 5 days and he didn't answer. Then I sent him a message stating that I thought I was pregnant and I ...
A. 3 January 2010: I get what you're saying; it was an emergency and he wasn't available to you. When you were able to connect, he was angry that you would have called his home to find him. You are hurt that he believes you would intentionally hurt his family. ... (read in full...)
I feel so guilty, please help me?
Q. First of all I'd like to thank all of you who are currently reading this..you have all served as another method of therapy for me, I don't know what I would do without your guys' advice.. I'm 17 years old, and my (now ex) boyfriend is 18. We have ...
A. 2 January 2010: If you think he's going to move on when he finds someone else, he is not "the one". If he talks about marriage but you know it's unrealistic, he is not "the one". If he will only get back with you when you're ready to have sex with him, he's not ... (read in full...)
Sexual tension between me and my cousin's husband!
Q. I was at my cousin is house for a party and i got really wasted with her husband we had like shot after shot after shot long story short is we ended up making out touching and he fingered me, i didnt stop him tho, i felt horrible in the morning ...
A. 2 January 2010: Little girl, you're playing a VERY dangerous game. This guy is a predator and is using your age and inexperience to get you in bed with him. For him, this is all a game. But understand that if you play along, you are going to lose your relationship ... (read in full...)
Our affair..does it stand a chance to last?
Q. I have been in a relationship with a married man for 18 months we call and text daily. I am seperated from my husband he moved out 4months ago due to my affair. Last week my estranged husband confronted my lover informing him he is naming him in ...
A. 2 January 2010: Your lover doesn't care if your husband exposes his affair because he has no intention of ending his marriage. Even if his wife finds out, he's not going to leave her and she's not going to leave him. It wouldn't shock me one bit if you're not the ... (read in full...)
Do I let a married man divorce his wife or should I move on?
Q. Okay heres the deal, I have fallen for a married man, and he likes me as well. Hes going to jeporadize his marriage to be with me. Do i go ahead and let him, that way me and him can be together, or do I just cut contact completely? ...
A. 2 January 2010: According to your post, you've fallen for him, but he only "likes" you. Whether you consciously meant to write this or not, I think your wording says volumes about your relationship with this man. A man doesn't leave his wife for a woman he "likes", ... (read in full...)
I told him I would call his home!
Q. I was in a relationship with a married man and I thought I got pregnant and tried to contact him several times. So I called him a few times for about 5 days and he didn't answer. Then I sent him a message stating that I thought I was pregnant and I ...
A. 2 January 2010: He broke up with you, right? Are you asking this question so you can convince him that what you did wasn't wrong so he will take you back?
The fact that you couldn't contact him when you needed him is part of being the woman on the side. You don'... (read in full...)
I need to detox myself of my ex, and generally tidy up my life. Help me!
Q. Hello advice-givers of DearCupid! First off, I'd like to say, it's so ridiculous how this whole situation plays out and all because of my own stupidity. And trust me, there's a lot of stupidity in this situation. Extremely long story short: Ex ...
A. 1 January 2010: You're bringing a lot of unnecessary drama into your life; if you want to detox from your ex, STOP HOOKING UP WITH HIM! Take his number out of your cellphone to make it harder for you to act on any temptation to call him. Start dating other people ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my friend that her ex called her fat?
Q. one of my friends just broke up with their boyfriend, and i was talking to him and he called her fat, do you think i should tell her?...
A. 1 January 2010: Why? What good would it accomplish, except to make your friend feel even worse after her breakup? Just let it go, and stop having conversations about her with her ex-boyfriend.... (read in full...)
My work colleague has left his wife for me. Should I get involved?
Q. I have been working at my work place for 11 months. It became obvious 6 months ago that one of my married work colleagues had developed feelings for me. He constantly hung around my office area during his lunch. I steadfastly ignored him. Even some ...
A. 1 January 2010: Why limit yourself to the same species? Sure, you may have something to talk about with someone who shares your profession, but more often than not all you will talk about is WORK. Finding a partner who is not a teacher may actually generate more ... (read in full...)
I feel sad, I cry a lot, have low self-esteem, can you help me in some way?
Q. I don’t really know what’s wrong with me, or how to write this. Basically, I’m very unhappy, and I have been for a year now, and I don’t know what to do. I’ve had various issues with self-esteem, sleeping, my mood, confidence, appetite and energy ...
A. 30 December 2009: At 14 I agree with your mum about the medication thing, but you could probably benefit from talking to a counselor. Since the unrequited love issue is hanging heavily on your mind and you don't want to discuss it with your mother, you may find it ... (read in full...)
I'm staying for my son basically but I Want to know how to remove myself from this guy?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have only dated my bf for a little over a year. He had previously dated the girl before me for 4 years. 4 months after we started dating we found out I was pregnant and 3 months into pregnancy I started having nightmares about his ex, ...
A. 30 December 2009: Truthfully, you got pregnant by him before you got a chance to know him, so it's no surprise that you're seeing things about him that you don't like. I applaud you for trying to make this work, but you're not doing your son any favors by staying in ... (read in full...)
I need to know all the risks of having sex!
Q. I know I'm too young. Thats what everybody says. But recently I've met a boy I really love, he loves me too. Trust me you haven't heard him. He wants to have sex with me. Please answer me. With all risks and everything, thank you. :)....
A. 30 December 2009: Risks:
Pregnancy
Sexually transmitted disease (herpes, chlamydia, genital warts, gonorrhea, syphilis and HIV)
Loss of reputation
Loss of your parent's trust
Increased risk of cervical cancer
Broken heart... (read in full...)
I am interested in swinging but I worry the other men are too 'big' for me.
Q. My husband and I are very interested in swinging. I have been wanting to try this for years and now that we have discussed it for some time now we both are anxious to get into the game! I have a little fear though. I am small, height, weight and ...
A. 29 December 2009: Being that the vagina can expand to accommodate a baby, a penis shouldn't be too much of a problem! :-)
Seriously, bring some extra lube and try different positions (doggy-style works). If you're really turned on, you'll have less of a problem,... (read in full...)
I need to get out of this relationship!
Q. The person who I call my "boyfriend" is very abusive, but I'm too way too scared to leave him. I've quite literally woken up from the delusion that he "loves" me. He has never hit me, but he has been intentionally rough: He has left bruises all...
A. 29 December 2009: I seriously doubt he is powerful enough to hurt your friends and family; this is a classic threat used by abusers to keep you under their thumb. Don't let his threat keep you from getting out of this situation.
Is there a domestic abuse hotline ... (read in full...)
My sister is embarassed by our mother, can you help our mother?
Q. i am asking this question on behalf of my Mum because she cannot use a computer. My sister is 32 years old and has disowned my Mum because she is "embarrassing because she is poor". My mum works so hard to make ends meet, bought her first house la...
A. 29 December 2009: As a kid who grew up in a home where I was reminded that I was not wanted, I know what a "bad" parent is. Your mother is not a bad parent and should be honored and respected for providing a home and security for her children.
I suspect your sis... (read in full...)
I don't want to ruin his marriage but he took my soul and I cant move on!
Q. I lived in Singapore for 2 years and ready to move to the States for college. Before I left, I prayed hard that I would taste what real relationship is because I have never really been in one. I only had flings. I was a virgin until I met this...
A. 29 December 2009: It is in your best interest to look upon your time with him fondly, cherish the memories, and start moving on with your life. He's your first great love, and for that reason he will always be special, but he is not the last man you will love. He ... (read in full...)
Which protection is safer?
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together for a year now. I've decided i want to loose my virginity to him. when we started talking about what protection we would use we had an issue. for my first time i want a guy to cum inside me, but of course i ...
A. 28 December 2009: My brother died of AIDS at the age of 35, so right now the LAST thing I want to hear is that nobody enjoys condoms. I live in a city with a higher AIDS rate in West Africa, so using a condom is not really a matter of pleasure, it's a matter of life ... (read in full...)
Affair with college tutor
Q. So heres my question, I've been having a year long affair with my college tutor. It was great at the beginning all the excitement and stuff that came with it. Yes he is married and she is another tutor at college. And yea they both teach me. It r...
A. 28 December 2009: Tell him you will tell his wife everything if he doesn't leave you alone and mean it. You played a dangerous game and if you lose everything, well, those are the consequences of your actions.... (read in full...)
Should I save my virginity for someone I will love the rest of my life?
Q. Male, 18: I'll get strait to the point, should I save my virginity for someone I will love for the rest of my life? I'm scared that I wont find someone to love and marry in my life-time because I'll be joining The Air Force after school gets over...
A. 28 December 2009: At 18, it's impossible for you to know who you'll love for the rest of your life, but I think you will have a more meaningful experience if your first time is with someone you are in love with.
As far a shyness and meeting women, the Air Force wi... (read in full...)
I never had any problems making friends at college. What's wrong now?
Q. INTRO: I live with my parents because of chronic unemployment. They spent Christmas Eve and Christmas at a distanced city with our extended family and I refused to go as usual. I'm the only Christian in the family, and I'm in my thirties and still ...
A. 28 December 2009: Sounds like the breakup and unemployment have taken their toll on you and living at home doesn't help. Your feelings of loneliness and isolation are understandable.
Have you visited other churches? There are some that have younger members and offe... (read in full...)
Should I speak to my mother again? I really need help!
Q. my "mother" is a terrible person. She makes me feel worthless everyday. I try talking to her and all she does is make me feel like I'm not worth anything. I am a college student and I am having difficulty adjusting with all the stress in my life. In ...
A. 28 December 2009: Since you can't leave home, not talking to your mom doesn't seem like an option. You need to find other support systems so you don't have to be so dependent on your mother or your boyfriend for emotional support; although they love you, it sounds ... (read in full...)
What our chances of success, I am in love with her.
Q. leaving my wife of 10 years 2 kids for a woman who was my wifes good friend of 5 years She(the other woman) is still married but seperated, left her resent boyfriendof 2 yrs for me and we plan to get an apartment next week, we started the affair a ...
A. 28 December 2009: Not only do you need to ask yourself what kind of person you've gotten involved with, you need to ask yourself what kind of person you've become. She has already proven herself to be unfaithful, a liar, and a snake-in-the-grass; you, too, have ... (read in full...)
Should I euthanize my daughter's rabbit to save on vet bills? And not tell her? Help!
Q. Thinking of killing my daughters pet rabbit! The rabbit is ill, it has a tumor (possibly or an abscess behind the eyes) which is visible about the size of one eye and oozes puss. It requires twice daily eye drops and medication which I administ...
A. 28 December 2009: Please talk to her before you put the rabbit down. Give her a chance to say goodbye to her pet and spend some time with him before he is euthanized.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is 8 years older then me
Q. i am 15 and i love this guy i think he loves me to but the problem is he is 23 and everyone is saying he is too old for me and only wants one thing but we have been together for 3 months now and he havn't had sex or anything i now that it will be ...
A. 24 December 2009: Ask your mom or dad if a 23 year old only wants your for sex. If don't feel comfortable talking to them about your relationship, you have no business dating someone this much older than you are.... (read in full...)
I'm becoming violent and very angry because I suspect of him cheating, are my fears justified?
Q. hello i really need some help i dont have anybody to talk to. i just got married 4 months ago,my husband is 33 years and i'm 21 years old.my problem is that i can't trust my husband at all. i have been for a while obssesed with him cheating on me. ...
A. 23 December 2009: The behavior you are describing sounds like you may have Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (counting eggs and pancakes, looking for hairs, etc.). The "evidence" of his cheating is flimsy at best, but the compulsion tells you otherwise and you get stuck ... (read in full...)
17 and a 40 year old having sex?
Q. Hello. I was just wondering if it's ok for a seventeen year old girl to have sex with a forty year old man? I've known him for a few months and we've been talking a lot. I really like him and want him. I know that it is a significant age difference, ...
A. 21 December 2009: You say you like him and want him, but there is no mention of how he feels about YOU. You might want to think more about whether or not he gives a damn about you before you start planning to have sex with him. As a matter of fact, you should be ... (read in full...)
Will I fit into his circle of high class friends?
Q. i met a guy a couple of days ago. hes awesome hes the type i go for. im 22 i dnt like dating younger guys my age because i dont find them in my level. so therefore i always go for older guys. so about this guy i met he 55 years old and hes a doctor ...
A. 21 December 2009: Being that you only met him a few days ago, you are jumping the gun even worrying about all of these things. You're not in a relationship with him yet, so slow your roll a bit and find out if he's even interested in you.... (read in full...)
I am pregnant to my step brother and don't know where to turn
Q. I was looking for advice and found this site. Ill try and make this short. I had a bf for 8 months he was ok at first and we started having sex mostly because didnt want him to cheat after awhile it seemed like thats all he wanted me around for ...
A. 20 December 2009: Please tell your parents after Christmas! Believe me, they won't be too distracted to be mad. If anything, they will be annoyed that you dropped this on them at a time and place where they can't discuss things. You've made some adult choices and now ... (read in full...)
How do I keep the bullies at bay?
Q. Hi im 15 and i live in a pretty rough place my school is bad i get bullied all the time and beat up i stick up for myself but theres to many they use weapons too. when i walk home they will follow me and beat me up in the alleys. I dont bother any ...
A. 20 December 2009: The main thing is your safety. If you truly fear for you life, you don't need to go back to that school. Have your parents contacted your school system to see if there are other schools you can transfer to? I don't know where you live, but in my ... (read in full...)
How do I properly welcome him home in the bedroom?
Q. I need some quick help. My boyfriend of two years is finally home and I will be seeing him tomorrow. I know this is last minute. I want to do something for him to "welcome him home". Anything but sex, because we have decided to wait but something in ...
A. 20 December 2009: A blowjob is always a nice way to say "I missed you!"
... (read in full...)
Will he divorce his wife for me?
Q. I met this guy at work and he was interested in me a lot bcuz he started talking to me and he told me he was in the process of a divorce. Little by little he mentioned to me several times that he loved me. I fell deeply in love with him and we would ...
A. 20 December 2009: First of all, any man that uses his wife's car to pick up his girlfriend is trifling. Why doesn't he have his own vehicle? He's already proven himself to be a liar and a cheater, so it would be in your best interest to assume that anything that ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant by a married man. How do I cope?
Q. I am married with 2 children and recently had an affair with married man who also has two children. It did not last long but the emotional impact ran very deep. I stupidly let myself get pregnant and everything blew up from there. Our spouses both ...
A. 20 December 2009: Legally you know you can't cut this man out of his child's life; if you attempt it, you will be in for one hell of a court battle. As cruel as it sounds, I think your former lover's apathetic attitude toward you is completely appropriate. Unl... (read in full...)
Dad is cheating on mom I have the messages as proof do I let mom hear them?
Q. My parents have been married for 19 years and my dad has been cheating on my mom for as long as i can remember i believe she knows i thought he stopped but i have his voicemail password and i secretly check it a few times a week and there are ...
A. 18 December 2009: If there is a discussion of any sort that is to be had, it's between you and your father, not you and your mother. From the tone of post, it seems like you want to let your dad know that you're on to him, and getting this out in the open is ... (read in full...)
How do I figure out which employee to cut?
Q. The company I work for needs to down size my office by one position. Since I'm the manager it's up to me to figure out which position can be eliminated and create a strategy for re-directing the work load to the other 4 workers. There are two ...
A. 18 December 2009: Let go of the one that doesn't need to work. Perhaps seeing that she could be let go of next will make the 22 year old improve her habits.... (read in full...)
What am I supposed to learn from my affair and failed marriage?
Q. I had the affair first, im still trying to understand why. I pushed my wife away then she had an affair. I have lied and cheated, i have been egotistical and controlling. I have hurt my wife and my young children. I have destroyed everything that i ...
A. 16 December 2009: Gazzy, I completely understand where you are coming from. My mother didn't want me and was neglectful, so I, too, have attachment issues. Accepting love and affection from others is very hard for people like us; things such as this that seem to ... (read in full...)
This pervy man has threatened me, posted pictures of me on the internet and I just don't know what to do!,
Q. This might seem like a strange question to ask help for, but I don't know who to turn to for advice. When I was 16 I was friends with an older man who told me he was a photographer. I was happy at first because I was studying photography at c...
A. 15 December 2009: Baby girl, it's time to fight back and stop allowing yourself to be victimized by this pervert, your friends or your boyfriend. Don't blame yourself for the bad behavior of others, and don't let others tell you it is all your fault. The more you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend got another girl pregnant but when I confront him he's denying it!!!
Q. I recently found out my boyfriend has another girlfriend that's pregnant and he told me its not what i think. I really like him, and im like falling apart without him. He called me the other day becuase he didnt know i knew about it. Then aft...
A. 15 December 2009: Well, if there's a "situation" that needs explaining, I guess you have your answer...... (read in full...)
I'm being bullied at school, what can I do? Help!
Q. I'm really scared of going to school at the moment because im being bullied. Facebook people are calling me things and telling me there's a gang after me. I havent been going to school lately, i will just walk out the door and hide in the wood or ...
A. 15 December 2009: No one can help you if you don't tell them what's happening: is there another school administrator besides your teacher that you can go to? Is there a way you can tell your parents about the bullying without mentioning that you are gay? Hopefully ... (read in full...)
Is it me being in an emotionally weak state or just normal because he is the love of my life?
Q. Hi, I'm hoping to get some advice re my situation. 9 months ago I split up with my partner of 7 years because he walked out after a series of arguments which I think were mainly caused by him being depressed and at that time he was verbally abusive ...
A. 14 December 2009: I hardly think 9 months is long enough to get over a seven year relationship, so I don't think you are emotionally weak. Is there a chance for reconciliation? Has he gotten treatment for his depression?... (read in full...)
The man I am involved with is waiting for a married woman, how do I get rid of her from our lives?
Q. I'm seeing a man who has been involved with a married woman for a few years, she tells him that she will leave her husband but they have children and has yet to do so, how do I get her out of our lives....
A. 14 December 2009: You get her out of your lives by getting yourself out of this situation. Why would you be with a man who wants another woman? The fact that he is "waiting" on this married woman should tell you a lot about where you stand in this relationship. You ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend got another girl pregnant but when I confront him he's denying it!!!
Q. I recently found out my boyfriend has another girlfriend that's pregnant and he told me its not what i think. I really like him, and im like falling apart without him. He called me the other day becuase he didnt know i knew about it. Then aft...
A. 14 December 2009: He is lying to you. If the rumors weren't true, he wouldn't be avoiding you. He says "it's not what you think" but he won't give you an explanation. Move on. You're too young to feel like you're falling apart behind some jackass.... (read in full...)
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