Mid-Life crisis?
Q. I'm basically a mummy's boy. Never had a functional relationship; find sex confusing; lots of emotional relationships with women; just broke someone's heart, knowingly, and probably put her on track for a relapse in her recovery from abuse; have ...
A. 5 May 2010: Face the fear. Look whatever it is that is keeping you from having a fulfilling life dead in the eye. Get to the truth of why you avoid closeness and intimacy. Confront your feelings of inadequacy and acknowledge any anger that may be feeding your ... (read in full...)
Oral sex faux pas, and I'm totally embarrassed. How can I get over it?
Q. Well one day i was giving my boyfriend head, and when i was doing it he was putting off more body heat then usual. So i started sweating, Alot...:( and Also when he came he stopped for a second i thought he was done and so i put my head up, But he ...
A. 5 May 2010: You are taking this far too seriously...it's not a big deal. Part of the fun of sex is that sometimes things end up in places they are not intended. Embrace the humor of the situation!
Also, don't let your self-esteem hinge upon such things.W... (read in full...)
Girlfriend doesn't want to meet my ex wife.
Q. My girlfriend of 10 months is the love of my life. Both of us are divorced with children, all of whom are the same age. I recently moved in with her and things are great: kids are happy, we're happy. The one thing that is eating me up is that she ...
A. 4 May 2010: Meeting the ex-wife can be a scary experience. Inevitably, your girlfriend is going to compare herself to your ex-wife: Is she prettier than I am? What will she think of me? These are the fears that are feeding your girlfriend's reluctance to meet ... (read in full...)
When does an age difference become important?
Q. When it comes to dating or falling inlove does age really matter? Would 10 years difference really matter? For example a 20 year old and a 30 year old. That is a 10 year difference so would it matter if the age gap is that big?...
A. 4 May 2010: It depends. I think the gap between 20 and 30 is pretty large, only because of the potential differences in maturity level. The 20 year old is still in college or still trying to figure out their life's path where the 30 year old is closer to ... (read in full...)
Should I date someone my own age or stay with my older boyfriend?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for about 10 months. He is a lot older than me (i am 18, he is 32), which isnt a problem between us in terms of personality but i cant tell my family about him, and i have not been introduced to his friends or him to ...
A. 4 May 2010: It seems like distance and the lack of communication is the issue with your boyfriend, and because of these two issues you don't feel like you truly know him. You haven't met each others friends or family. He hasn't told you he loves you (which he ... (read in full...)
I am 13 and a lot of other girls tell me I should have sex, but I don't want to!
Q. im 13 years old and a lot of other girls are saying that i should have sex but i havent gone through puberty yet and i heard that dry sex reeeeeely hurts and i want to lose my virgenity when im married to the man of my dreams what sould i do?!...
A. 4 May 2010: The last thing you want to do is listen to the advice of people who don't know any more about life than you do. At 13, they have no clue what they're talking about; they're dumb and want you to be dumb, too. Stick to your guns on this issue. ... (read in full...)
I want to have sex with a grown man
Q. One of my adult friend's won't have sex with her husband unless he has the snip. I talk to him often and we get into conversations about sex. It is becoming increasingly obvious that there is a lot of sexual tension building up in him. We talk about ...
A. 4 May 2010: What should you do? 1. Stop having sexual conversations with this man. 2. If you do continue these conversations and decided to sleep with him, learn to fight because his wife and everyone she knows is gonna kick your ass.... (read in full...)
Why after 8 years do I feel jealous that my wife has dated a black man?
Q. my wife of 2 yrs (together for 8 years), had mentioned casually that she dated a black guy in colllege. Now i feel like Im not good enough to satisfy her beause he was so much bigger. She also has dated a lot mofe guys than me and it makes me ...
A. 2 May 2010: "So if you get violently raped and then you keep reliving the trauma afterwards, is that a sign of obsessive compulsive disorder too? "
Actually, PTSD and OCD are connected, so yes, a rape survivor may actually be suffering from both disorder... (read in full...)
Why after 8 years do I feel jealous that my wife has dated a black man?
Q. my wife of 2 yrs (together for 8 years), had mentioned casually that she dated a black guy in colllege. Now i feel like Im not good enough to satisfy her beause he was so much bigger. She also has dated a lot mofe guys than me and it makes me ...
A. 30 April 2010: If your wife casually mentioned dating a black man, I sincerely doubt that she also "casually" mentioned the size of his penis. You're assuming that because he's black he must have a big d*ck; why are you buying into a stereotype? Are you worried ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend cheated and got another girl pregnant!
Q. please help im 19 years old. my boyfriend{of 2 years} and i agreed that we would take a break because he was going to jail.. when he was in jail we talked once a week..and both agreed that when he was out we would get back together. he got out of ...
A. 30 April 2010: You're 19 and you don't have kids of your own; don't tie yourself down with someone's else's. There's no need to be a step-mommy at this age, especially to a child who came about because your boyfriend cheated, didn't use protection and waited 9 ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend says he could never marry me because I hate my own mother.
Q. My mother does not support me in anything. I'm in my 3rd semester in college working on a crimal justice bachelors degree. Shouldn't I parent be proud? I guess they should but she isn't. She calls me "worthless" and worst things. So I have tried to ...
A. 29 April 2010: Your boyfriend cannot expect that everyone shares his family experience. All mothers are not created equal: some are loving and nurturing, others are cold and critical. You happened to get the latter, yet you've survived and made something out of ... (read in full...)
Been in this relationship for six years and have a yen for a no-strings fling
Q. I think about having sex with another man but ive been in a relationship for almost 6 years is that normal? Its not like I don't love my Husband I just want to feel new dick with no strings....
A. 29 April 2010: Eyeswide, it's stapled. ... (read in full...)
He says he'll come back if I kick my brother and his girlfriend out!
Q. me and my ex partner got back together five months ago, after seperating two years before when our son was born. the relationship endend badly last time as he cheated on me time and time again and as much as i wanted to be with him i couldnt take it ...
A. 29 April 2010: "Excuse me, I though the logical thing here is innocent until prooven guilty, not guilty until prooven innocent."
Only works in a court of law, baby. In real life, past behavior is a predictor of future behavior. Maybe the OP is overreac... (read in full...)
Wondering whether to be honest about 'cheating' before he moves in
Q. i need advice...bad! i have been with my boyfriend for two years now and we have been through alot together and still have remained in a relationship. things were going to so well but then i kissed another girl. you see i am bi. but this isn...
A. 29 April 2010: No need to tell him about the kiss, but you do need to tell him that you're not ready for the same level of commitment he is. If you don't tell him now, when are you going to tell him? Ten years from now when you're married and having affairs ... (read in full...)
Does he love me if he feels the need to cheat?
Q. My boyfriend and I were dating for 4 years, until about 2 months ago. We broke up due to mutual decisions, which we both realise now are trivial compared to how much we love each other and want to be together. While we were broken up, I slept with ...
A. 29 April 2010: Your relationship can't work. If he sleeps with someone else, you're going to feel betrayed and your relationship will start off on the wrong foot. If he doesn't sleep with someone before you officially are a couple again, he's either going to cheat ... (read in full...)
Are his actions justified by my cheating?
Q. Hi, so ive been seeing this guy for a few months now and about a month ago i cheated on him with my ex. i felt so bad afterwards and expected it to be over but he didnt leave me. hes 19 and im 16 btw. then.... last weekend i did it again. i ...
A. 29 April 2010: Nothing in this relationship sounds normal.
You cheated on your boyfriend TWICE because he was too controlling. Then for some crazy reason, the two of you got back together. Now you're confused because he's being *surprise* too controll... (read in full...)
He says he'll come back if I kick my brother and his girlfriend out!
Q. me and my ex partner got back together five months ago, after seperating two years before when our son was born. the relationship endend badly last time as he cheated on me time and time again and as much as i wanted to be with him i couldnt take it ...
A. 29 April 2010: Your boyfriend is changing the subject. The real issue is whether or not he cheated, but instead he's making your brother and his girlfriend the problem in your relationship. Until he gives you reasonable proof that he did not cheat, you shouldn't ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants me to get rid of all my pictures and letters from my former girlfriend who died in my arms, is she in the wrong here?
Q. I have been dating a young woman for a few months. She is very sweet and I care very much for her. She came over to my apartment when I wasn't home yesterday and my room mate let her in. She went into my room and found an old year book I had ...
A. 28 April 2010: It's not like you've built a shrine to the girl and have her photos prominently displayed. You've placed the photos and letters out of sight but in a place that is meaningful for you, and she needs to respect that. Although this girl wasn't The One, ... (read in full...)
He's upset and snapping at me -- why?
Q. i dont know whats going on with my boyfriend, he got rejected by the raf becos he has a shellfish allergy, and his so annoyed by that, i understand. since then though he has been in a funny mood with me, and i try an easure him but his telling ...
A. 28 April 2010: If you want to keep your boyfriend, don't tell him what he could be doing. He has dedicated his life to a goal that he cannot achieve; he's obviously grieving about it and now he has to suddenly switch gears and think about other options. He ... (read in full...)
Ladies, what could be causing this discharge? Is it normal?
Q. iis white or yellow vaginal dicharge normal? does it happen often? what r its causes? i ask because my gf has cheated before and has been acting and doing "funny" things again lately....
A. 28 April 2010: White is normal. Yellow ain't.... (read in full...)
Would I be naive to believe my husband will change?
Q. My husband of 9 years (together for 16) had an almost 4 year long affair with his office manager who had a live-in boyfriend. Although I've decided to give him a second chance he has not stopped all contact with her as she still comes into the ...
A. 23 April 2010: Your hanging on to a memory. He's a cheater, he's not interested in this relationship and he is no longer the man you fell in love with 16 years ago. You can both be good parents without being in a relationship with one another, so staying for the ... (read in full...)
Should I give into my desire to cheat? Or try my best to push it away?
Q. I really need some help. We have been married one year. I love this woman with all my heart. While we were still dating though. My then girlfriend, now wife, took a trip home to visit her family. They live two states away. While she was over the...
A. 23 April 2010: You seem to think that letting go of past hurts, loving your wife, and moving forward makes you a chump. It doesn't.
You seem to feel that the fact that you've only had two major relationships makes you a sucker. It doesn't. Actually, it makes yo... (read in full...)
Why does my ex's girlfriend act so mean. He dumped me for her.
Q. My boyfriend of two years and I just broke up in Janaury and its been really hard for me espically since he left me for somebody else. But the girl he left me for is really mean to me. I knew who she was before they started dating but ever since ...
A. 23 April 2010: You're a threat and she views you as competition. She looks for your faults so she can feel superior to you, yet she finds none. This makes her insecure. Even though he broke up with you to be with her, she's still not entirely sure that he chose ... (read in full...)
I can't believe I was stupid enough not to think he cheated on me!
Q. I don't know what to do. I was told yesterday that my boyfriend of a year and 5 months that he slept with someone at the start of the relationship. I know the girl as he was sleeping with her before we started going out. Then I was told yesterday ...
A. 22 April 2010: Over the course of a lifetime, a year and five months is nothing. Again, forget about whether or not he cheated, get away from him because he's violent!... (read in full...)
I can't believe I was stupid enough not to think he cheated on me!
Q. I don't know what to do. I was told yesterday that my boyfriend of a year and 5 months that he slept with someone at the start of the relationship. I know the girl as he was sleeping with her before we started going out. Then I was told yesterday ...
A. 21 April 2010: To hell with whether he cheated or not, get away from him because he's violent!... (read in full...)
Boyfriend angry we broke up and says "Once a whore, always a whore!"
Q. I need your help. I have no one else to turn to about this. I can't talk to my family and I no longer am able to talk to my best friends. This is alittle complicated, my boyfriend and I dated in highschool for 2 years and during that time I did some ...
A. 21 April 2010: There are women all over the world who put up with abuse because they have no choice. They have no control over who they marry. They don't even have control over their own bodies. Their governments overlook their abuse and view it as the right of a ... (read in full...)
Should I give into my desire to cheat? Or try my best to push it away?
Q. I really need some help. We have been married one year. I love this woman with all my heart. While we were still dating though. My then girlfriend, now wife, took a trip home to visit her family. They live two states away. While she was over the...
A. 21 April 2010: "It sucks having someone wrong you and you have to be the bigger person."
Sweetie, it's called forgiveness. It doesn't suck to forgive someone you love. It's forgiveness, not retribution, that evens the score. It's only a no-win situation if you s... (read in full...)
I want to share my wife with my friends! How do I ask her?
Q. dear cupid: i am stuipd?? i want to share my wife with friends? it truns me on to think about it. how should i ask her?? do wives enjoy to be pass around to your frieds??...
A. 20 April 2010: If they are more well-endowed than you are, then by all means, yes! ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my brother the truth about his wife?
Q. My older brother and I went to the same college. I lived in a different dorm than him and rarely saw him in the two years we were at the same school. One night my room mate brought a girl in and had sex with her. They were both very drunk. ...
A. 20 April 2010: Before you do anything, you should confront her and give her an opportunity to come clean to your brother about her lies. The baby may be your brother's, so dropping this information into his lap without definitive evidence of paternity could do ... (read in full...)
He won't let go of his separated wife for me.
Q. Hi, i am a 41 year old woman, i have been with my boyfriend for 4 years now and it has been a very up and down relationship, he has always been a very angry man and i have found it very hard with him, we have a 2 year old child together of which he ...
A. 20 April 2010: 1. There is no need for you to be ashamed of what your uncle did to you; it's only a secret if you fear exposure. If you're willing to let the truth come out,he no longer has any power to use this against you. Right now your priority needs to be the ... (read in full...)
We lost our babies..but he's so fragile emotionally. Should we grieve over this apart or together?
Q. Hi I recently lost my twin baby girls at 23 weeks. I got pregnant after a one night stand. I am confused because I feel like the babies connected us. But he is not emotionally strong. And tries to support me. But it doesnt seem to work. Because w...
A. 20 April 2010: Now is not the time for either of you to be emotionally strong. You've experienced a devastating loss and the two of you must support each other as much as you can. Even though other people sympathize with you, the girls' father is the only person ... (read in full...)
My emotionally cheating hubby has changed, so why can't I trust him?
Q. I sadly found out just B4 christmas that my husband of 5 years had been emotional cheating on me via emails and texts etc...I had my suspisions and caught hm emailing some random lady on an i phone app, it was quite sexual stuff but it was clear ...
A. 19 April 2010: You only recently found out about his emotional affairs and four months is not nearly enough time to truly "move on". He's going through therapy, which is good, but you still have a long way to go before you feel comfortable trusting him again. I ... (read in full...)
Help! I need some advice about my mothers controlling attitude
Q. Help! I need some advice about my mothers controlling attitude! I'm 26 and live at home but am currently house hunting so I'm hoping some of my issues will subside, My mum has a way of making everyone feel guilty and ever since I was small...
A. 18 April 2010: When you move, do not allow your mother to make you feel guilty for leaving because this will be your next hurdle. Understand that your mother's attitude is a reflection of her own issues. If she chooses to live the rest of her life feeling like ... (read in full...)
I'm 17 and in love with my friend's father!
Q. Hi, I have a huge deliemma and I'm so confused. I'm in love. One of my close friends loves me, but I am in love with his father!!! I am 17 and my friend's father who we will call Max, is 36. He loves me back as well. I know it is absolutly insane, ...
A. 18 April 2010: No, don't go talk to him. Through his actions he's already made it clear that although he thinks highly of you, he feels any type of romantic relationship with you is inappropriate. I'm sure he does not want to compromise his relationship with Nick ... (read in full...)
Friend suddenly stopped talking to me!
Q. Iv'e been really good friends with someone for about three years, theres quite a big age gap in our friendship but thats never been a problem. I was really close to her and we shared alot of things. She has helped me through some really bad times ...
A. 17 April 2010: Tigerlily has some very valid points. I was in a similar situation last year with a friend of nearly 20 years and I started to avoid her because her drama was overwhelming my life. I couldn't attend to my own business because I was always listening ... (read in full...)
I feel sick that she might be cheating on me.
Q. Well this is what I got. My girlfriend and me are getting married next year hopefully. She will every once in a while go out with a girl friend and go to parties and what not. I know she loves sex this trust me i know, we both do we are very healthy ...
A. 17 April 2010: You're happy, spend most of your time together and have a healthy sex life, yet the few times she's away you think she's cheating? Just because she enjoys sex doesn't mean she has to get it from random guys at parties; even you must know that your ... (read in full...)
I fell in love with him then found out he was married!
Q. i am a seperated woman with 1 daughter of 5 years old. my husband left us 2 years back and has filed a divorce case. i'm contesting against it as i want him to come back home. in the meantime i met a man who is 3 years younger than me on the net ...
A. 17 April 2010: I'm confused. You're contesting your marriage because you want your husband to come home, but you're in love with a married man? You can't have your husband AND someone else's. Leave this man alone to attend to his wife; he's never going to leave ... (read in full...)
Can you undo a lifetime of conditioning???
Q. I'm very uncomfortable around gay people. I'd hate to describe myself as Homophobic but maybe that would be accurate. I know the usual answer to something like this is: maybe youre secretly gay yourself. But I'm 100% sure I'm not secretly gay. I ...
A. 17 April 2010: The fact that you made this post suggests that you are motivated to overcome a lifetime of conditioning, so yes, you can get over your fears. Since being called an anti-gay slur was the worst thing anyone could say to you when you were growing up, ... (read in full...)
He won't let go of his separated wife for me.
Q. Hi, i am a 41 year old woman, i have been with my boyfriend for 4 years now and it has been a very up and down relationship, he has always been a very angry man and i have found it very hard with him, we have a 2 year old child together of which he ...
A. 17 April 2010: You have not said one positive thing about him, yet for some reason you want him. By your own admission, he is angry, difficult and a liar.If he divorces his wife do you honestly think his behavior will change?
Having gone from a loving first ma... (read in full...)
Would you let your just-turned-16 year old daughter date a 19 year old guy?
Q. Answers from parents are especially appreciated! would you let your newly turned 16 year old daughter date a guy who turned 19 a few months ago? im scared to tell my mom because i havent even mentioned a word about him and we`ve been talking on ...
A. 17 April 2010: No, but I'm not your mother. She's the only person who can answer this question and the only way you'll get the answer is to ask.... (read in full...)
Did I make a mistake by staying with him?
Q. I was with my bf for a yr. The first summer with him was amazing. Starting off after the summer I found out I was moving. Even though I was moving we decided to stay with each other. After I had left he started to hangout with my cousin. She is a ...
A. 17 April 2010: Staying with someone because they are your first love is not a good enough reason. He's your first love, but not your last. You are too young to be having all of this drama and you do not need to get so emotionally tied up in someone that you allow ... (read in full...)
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