A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: I know I'm too young. Thats what everybody says. But recently I've met a boy I really love, he loves me too. Trust me you haven't heard him. He wants to have sex with me. Please answer me. With all risks and everything, thank you. :). Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, dasonras +, writes (31 December 2009):
Please do not use 2 condoms at the same time. That does not increase safety. It actually increases chance of the condom breaking.
A
female
reader, Leo1989  +, writes (30 December 2009):
 if i may just add you do not need to love someone to enjoy sex with them. you do not need emotional attachment. and at 13-15 you can love. if you didnt know what love is at 13 then i think parents and family would have a shock. think before you write things people. the risks of sex are numerous but as always can be prevented or made unlikely by using birth control and condoms.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2009): Maybe that boy intends to love you. But he cannot take care of you if it comes down to that. He's just a kid, like you. Don't have sex with him.
Would your mom be disappointed if she found out you did it? Why might she feel that way? Is she just being over-protective? What would she try to protect you from, anyway? Would you feel uncomfortable even discussing this with your mom? Is that why you are asking us?
If you did something as important and momentous as losing your virginity and had to keep it from your parents because you'd get in trouble, would that bother you? If you did it and then your parents moved away somewhere, would you have to follow them and leave the boy behind? How would that make you feel? Should you wait until marriage? After all, if he's really committed, he shouldn't be opposed to marriage, right? That's what his words are telling you. You and only you, forever. Love. Proof?
These are the kinds of questions I would ask myself before making a decision like that. I can't tell you it works, since I made a mistake anyway. But I thoroughly recommend thinking this through. Volumes of history speak against the decision you are about to make. Pretty much the only people who agree it's good are crazy and misguided academic liberals who never left school and skulk around poisoning the youth and their pathetic protege's, those with damaged self-concepts, low self-esteem, and mutated concepts of intimacy.
...............................
A
female
reader, sallyrogers29 +, writes (30 December 2009):
I think it's interesting to note that you mention he wants to have sex with you but don't mention anywhere whether you do or not. I could be totally off-base about the situation, but let me give you a piece of advice: submitting to things you aren't sure about for his sake isn't going to make the relationship work. It screws it up, VERY effectively. Think very carefully about what YOU want before you commit to this.
Anyway, the risks are: vaginal abrasions (resulting from you not being wet) HPV, herpes, pregnancy, a plethora of other STDS, pregnancy, your vagina making mortifying noises at inconvenient moments, and pregnancy. Use condoms. If you can, use birth control. And if you can use birth control, still use condoms. Oh, and make sure that at some point the two of you start working on YOUR orgasm if you're not a can-come-by-intercourse kind of gal.
...............................
A
female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (30 December 2009):
 Risks:
Pregnancy
Sexually transmitted disease (herpes, chlamydia, genital warts, gonorrhea, syphilis and HIV)
Loss of reputation
Loss of your parent's trust
Increased risk of cervical cancer
Broken heart
...............................
A
male
reader, dasonras +, writes (30 December 2009):
Firstly, I think that if you asking this qustion you already have an idea of the "risks." Had you not considered certain "risks" then you would never have posed your question as it suggests you are aware that there may be "risks" associated.
Secondly, there are really two things to consider: risk and responsibility. Risk involves probability and chance. Responsibility involves the understanding of your actions.
The risks are somewhat obvious. You risk getting an STI, you risk getting pregnant, you risk rape, you risk emotional pain, you risk regrets...etc.
The question is whether or not you are responsible enough for sex. This is usually what people mean when they say "you're too young for sex." Are you responsible enough to handle the emotional attachment associated with sex? Are you resposible enough to practice safe sex? What happens if you do get pregnant? Do you have a plan for that?
Because you are young you have not had the opportunity to handle real responsibilities. It's not because you're just some dumb kid. It's because you haven't lived long enough.
So I would say you should eveluate whether or not you have the experience to take on such a big responsibility, especially since you understand the risks involved.
...............................
A
female
reader, lovelife1437 +, writes (30 December 2009):
You said you've "recently" met this guy, recent does not equal love. It sounds like lust and lust is not a good reason to have sex. You said "he wants" to have sex with you but do YOU want to have sex with him, that's the more important question. Don't do it because he wants to, in addition, at your age, you might end up with mixed feelings after having sex because mentally and physically you're probably not ready for such an intimate act. If you're going to have sex, then for the sake of yourself, do it safely with protection because the consequences of careless sex could ruin your life (pregnancy, diseases, and more. Maybe you can talk to someone, a nurse/doctor for example, at the clinic/hospital that you go to for your physical checkup to get more facts in regard to the risks of having sex in addition to practicing safe sex. If possible, wait until you're older and more knowledgeable about sex because it'll be much more meaningful with someone you love and not lust. Most importantly when you feel that YOU are ready, mentally and physically. Good Luck! :-)
...............................
A
female
reader, meg2989 +, writes (30 December 2009):
 Well I agree that you are too young, and sometimes guys love you one day and then they don't the next just beware. When having sex you risk your health and pregnancy. STD's range from Chlamydia, Siphillus, Genital warts, Herpes, Gonorrhea, HIV, AIDs and several others. Some are treatable and some are not. Others if left untreated can kill you. You also risk pregnancy. If you did get pregnant your options would be abortion, adoption, or keeping the baby. Each one is a very hard choice that you have to live with the rest of your life. Sex is not only a physical risk, but its very emotionally stressing, and for some it is almost too difficult to deal with. Because you are such a young age I think you should abstain from sex until you are older. However if you do want to go through with it, I suggest that you get on birth control and that you use condoms everytime to help prevent STD's Condoms and birth control are not always 100 percent effective so keep that in mind too. I also suggest that you both get tested for all STD's before and after each partner. Its much better to be safe than end up with an STD. I would also reccommend that if you are going to be sexually acive that you at least tell your mom about it, that way if anything happens she can take you to the doctor right away. Best wishes and I do hope you wait.
...............................
A
female
reader, Audrey27 +, writes (30 December 2009):
Okay so I totally know the boat your in. I had sex for the first time on October 13, 2009 and I absolutly loved it at the time even tho it wasn't really pleasurable the first time. Bit trust me don't do it yeah everyone says that but honestly do you think you could handle get pregnant and your parents hAving to find out. Yeah that sucks trust me I would know. Tho I didn't really get in trouble tho. But do you think that you can honestly say your gonna marry this boy. Yeah you wanna but probley not gonna happen. I say just fool around some at least just wait as long as you can. And he might just be all talk anyway. He might not even know what to do. Well anyway good luck with your choice hoped I helped!
...............................
A
male
reader, hameleon89  +, writes (30 December 2009):
 i think you are too young for that (i think it's something you know and don't want to hear it from me)
Well gues again,i'll tell you things that you allready know, boys aren't damaged when having sex in young age, but girls are.I'm tellingyou as a doctor (4th year of med school). Your body isn't develloped yet for such things, try waiting the longest the possible, statisticaley at age 18-19 it's great to have sex for first time.
The damage, hmmm, well i can say that first time it hurts like hell, and all the ladies,women will agree.so imagine you are young + it hurts.And i'm even not talking about protection: condoms,pills (witch is medecaly not good for you!!! )
think about it befor doing it.
...............................
A
male
reader, AgonyUncleDan  +, writes (30 December 2009):
 I will say what you have heard but you are too young.
Firstly you have to be ready for sex. and do you really know what love is at your age? with sex comes great responsibility, there are countless STD's and STI's (Sexually Transmitted Diseases/Infections), unwanted preganancy. If you do have sex be sure he wears a Condom. To be fair I would wait until you know it's ready and until you're a little older. I think you must know what the risks are before you even start thinking about having sex.
-AgonyUncleDan
...............................
|
