A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay heres the deal, I have fallen for a married man, and he likes me as well. Hes going to jeporadize his marriage to be with me.Do i go ahead and let him, that way me and him can be together, or do I just cut contact completely?advice would be most appreciated.xo
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female
reader, Risingfromashes +, writes (22 January 2010):
Are you from Mississippi?! (LOL...?) please cut the cord, I say this mainly because for all I know I could be the woman on the other end! (Except my husband isnt cheating) Also, It may be karma but I was on your end once and the guy told me he would divorce her and all the things I did want to hear (and some I did n't to make of seem real). He ended up using me for sex and went back to her- they're still together for all I care now! Also I was immature and wrong for staying involved with him at all. I told my husband when I met him and it really took so much away from our relationship even though I was raped by the married man, I had been the one to keep that connection! I love my husband more than anything and somehow being involved with a married man helped to screw it up before I even met him! He's most likely not the one for you, and when you do meet that person you don't need more on your list of guilt. What if you two get together? Can you trust him? I mean really? Maybe that doesn't even matter to you. But I guarantee he's confused right now and will be thinking of her when he's with you. If it's worth it give him time to be legally divorced for a little while at least. No matter what it's not your decision the divorce itself shouldn't be any of your concern! You have to wait and see!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou dont have to be rude. Its not like ive slept with this man. Weve just taken interest in each other.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (3 January 2010):
 How nice, a lovely lady who has no thought for the wellbeing of her fellow mankind...Happy New Year
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWow there are so many different opinions here. Gives me a few more facts to think about. Thank you all for your answers!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2010): Just cut contact. Hes going to risk his marriage to `be` with you. That means he doesnt want to leave his wife for you but he would like some fun. If he does get caught, which he probably will, the chances are they will try to fix things and you will just be discarded. So dont waste your time with him. Find a real man of your own.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2010): Do you want to be with him? If he says he wants to be with you and you know he is not happy in his relationship, marriage or otherwise, and he is looking to get out, the what is the dilemma about being with this guy? What has he said his feelings for you are? If there are mutual feelings for each other and he and his wife are on their way to divorce, then allow that to proceed and then if there is still the desire to be with him, do it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, im not "in love" with this guy lol. I just like him. so as far as me getting hurt, its highly doubtful.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2010): You said "like", is that all the more the emotion is? If that is the case then he is leaving his marriage not to be with you but to get out because he is unhappy, you may have just set the ball rolling.
If you have truly fallen for this man, once he becomes single, then see where he stands. If it is meant to be it is meant to be. Love doesn't come often so hold onto it when it does.
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A
female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (2 January 2010):
 According to your post, you've fallen for him, but he only "likes" you. Whether you consciously meant to write this or not, I think your wording says volumes about your relationship with this man. A man doesn't leave his wife for a woman he "likes", he leaves his wife for a woman he loves. You are an exit affair. He is unhappy in his marriage but doesn't know how to end it, so he cheats with you. At some point he may actually end his marriage, but the last things he'll want is to enter into another serious relationship--especially because he is young. Pretty soon, you'll be the woman he has no spark with.
Move on and let him handle his business with his wife. If he and his wife have no spark, that's something they need to work on without you being mixed up in the situation.
Oh, and as far as his wife being jealous, she has a right to be if you're messing around with her husband.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (2 January 2010):
ox = sucker
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (2 January 2010):
In actuality, a man leaving his wife usually has absolutely nothing to do with a mistress. He leaves his wife because he's truly unhappy and doesn't want to be married to her anymore. So, to think that you have any control over whether or not he leaves his wife is silly thinking. Most married men don't leave their wife for someone else, he could just be saying it to you to keep you around. Even if he did leave her and started a relationship with you, he'd probably keep you around until someone that he thought was better would come along, then dump you like he did his wife.
Definitely move on. You really shouldn't be involved with this guy. If you think that you two actually have a future together then go for it, but don't expect it to have a happy ending.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2010): Sure, be with him people like you two deserve each other . Cheats and liars. What sort of man is married and sleeps with an 18-20 ur old . Just rest assured he
will do the same to you. Spend twenty years of your
life on him and see how you feel when he runs off
with some 20 ur
old.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes i am in that age range. He is in his twenties, not much older than me. It's hard to explain, its as if him and her have no more spark. When they're out together (ive been there) he just walks around silently behind her, they dont talk alot or anything.
we became friends about 6 or 7 months ago, but its been here lately weve been talking about these things. She's a really jealous woman, so we only get to talk at certain times during the day.
I do feel a bit guilty, but what is the point in staying in a marriage just because you feel youre obligated too?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2010): First, I want to ask you if your are that young as your ID says 18-21? That is very early to mess around with a married man.
I was involved with a married man twice and my advice is that it depends.If his marriage was good before he met you, then DO NOT DO IT. He will divorce you later on. Some men are like that. For no reason they cheat.
If his marriage has problems, I would think about letting him divorce. I believe that when people don't get along anymore, they should split.
How long have you been with this guy anyway?
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (2 January 2010):
Cut contact now. You're messing with a married man. If he's willing to leave his wife for you, he will be willing to leave you for someone else. Why not find another guy who isn't married.
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