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Is my way of orgasming normal? And was it normal to start so young?

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Question - (11 July 2018) 6 Answers - (Newest, 14 July 2018)
A female United States age 18-21, anonymous writes:

When i was 8 years old, I've literally been having an orgasm and i didn't even knew what orgasm is. I would get it when ever i squeeze my legs together, and i would feel pleasure and relaxed feeling, i also feel pressure down there when i do it. However, i knew that this thing I'm doing is masturbating/orgasm. And through all those years I've been doing it. Until now, whenever i have sex with my boyfriend, i would only have an orgasm by squeezing my legs together, and we tried almost everything to have an orgasm without me squeezing my legs. I'm wondering if it's normal? And how come was i having an orgasm since i was 8? I only knew about sex years later, and i had my period at 13, so i don't know if that's normal (to feel sexual pleasure at a very young age)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2018):

Yes I was about three or four when I started masturbating and like Betty Boup said, it's embarrassing to think that you would do it in front of others, but you did because you didn't have a conscience about it. I orgasmed at that young age and have done so ever since then from masturbating, but I also find it easier to come with my legs more closed. Everything feels too sensitive otherwise. It's never been a problem though.

Find whatever position works for you. We're all different, so why should you try and change? I orgasmed with one of my boyfriends regularly through penetration. He could just hit mu clitoris right while penetrating me. But I've never had that since. Who cares? There are lots of different ways to enjoy sex and have orgasms. Just find what suits you. Relax and have fun!

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A male reader, TylerSage United States +, writes (13 July 2018):

TylerSage agony auntIt's possible. Stimulation of the genitals as a child can lead to pleasure just like an adult, but the child isn't aware of this until some accidental rubbing takes place and even then they probably won't know what it is. It's not until around puberty you understand how you can stimulate your body for pleasure.

I think you body is just familiar with climaxing a certain way. Its a comfortable habit. To fix this you need to break the habit. You have work at it with consistency and stop doing it the way you're so use to.

Practice makes perfect.

All the best.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (12 July 2018):

aunt honesty agony auntThe answer to your question is yes it is completely normal! It does sound young at eight years old yes, but if you look in to it babies as young as one masturbate!! It can be soothing for them or something that they do out of sheer boredom. Now obviously most children don't know that it is sexual. As for you it sounds like it is something you got in to the habit of because it felt good, off course not in a sexual way at that age but something that probably gave you comfort. It is like a child picking there nose or eating there hair, it can just become a habit! You don't hear many people talking about it because it is a taboo subject, and quite often children don't share it with there parents.

Now as for you only being able to orgasm when closing your legs over that is more than likely because you have trained your body to do this. It can be a hard habit to break but it is possible. It is similar to a man masturbating to porn frequently, when he then goes to have sex he cannot reach orgasm because it feels different and things are not as tight as his hand was. Again all perfectly normal. Does it effect your sex life or are you just worried that there is something wrong? If it doesn't effect it then don't worry to much about it. Try different positions. When you are masturbating try opening your legs a bit and a bit more until you get out of the habit of needing your legs closed. All in all have fun practicing.

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A female reader, BettyBoup United Kingdom +, writes (12 July 2018):

BettyBoup agony auntI was the same as you. I learnt to orgasm from a young age, by squeezing my pelvic floor muscles with my legs together and my hands between my legs. It is the pressure, I guess, that works. I don't know how common or normal it is but I have read that it can start from a young age. Obviously I didn't really know what I was doing was an orgasm, I just knew it felt nice. It's embarrassing thinking about it now, but that's what happened. I did a bit of research about it, because I wanted to know if I was normal, and apparently most children discover their genitals by age 6. I think I was younger. I remember being told off for doing it in front of adults and being told to do it when I was alone, because I didn't know what I was doing. It's really embarrassing to think about it now!!! It's quite embarassing to talk about it to people. But it happened to me and if it helps you or anyone else feel less "abnormal" then its worth it! It wasn't my fault, because I was a child. Like Honeypie said, it's a bodily reaction thing, and I think it was done as a kind of soothing thing, not sexual, because I wasn't sexually aware at that age.

I wasn't able to orgasm with a partner until I was in my 30s, and it happened from fingering, I guess I have more control that way. If you ask your partner to finger you, you can squeeze your legs together and get an orgasm that way, so he is taking part in getting you off.

I have been able to have an orgasm from sex once or twice, and I don't know how, I think it was the chemistry with that particular man, he knew how to just turn me on mentally so it didn't take much to send me over the egde, also he had a substantial sausage, which helped.

Keep trying different things with your boyfriend and don't feel bad if you have to squeeze your legs together to have an orgasm. That won't stop you enjoying having sex and other things, before doing what you gotta do to have an orgasm. Also, at least you know how to come and you are comfortable enough to be able to do it with your partner. For a long time I could only orgasm by myself, because my first long term partner found it hard to make me have an orgasm, and gave up trying because it was too hard, he said. At least your boyfriend is willing to try different things with you. Relax and have fun with sex, don't feel like there's something wrong with you, there isn't. There must be other women like you and I. Everyone is different.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2018):

Since I was about 3 years old I would rub myself against the edge of a door or pole and would get an orgasm. Of course I didn't know what it was then. I just think some of us discover our pleasure zones earlier than others.

Women get orgasms in different ways. You probably need to have your clitoris stimulated in order to have an orgasm. The clitoris is an erogenous zone for us women.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (12 July 2018):

Honeypie agony auntI don't know if it's normal for 8 year old's to orgasm. I DO think it sounds normal that you had no idea of what it was - just that it felt nice. Like some one scratching your back.

Orgasm is just a bodily reaction. It is not ALWAYS sexual. There are women who can get off from riding a bike or a horse because of pressure applied to the "right" spot. I knew a girl who would get off from a good sneeze. Bet that complicated her sex life.. but I digress.

Women (and men) who are raped can experience orgasm and definitely NOT because they feel they are in a sexual setting, it's one of fear and violence but the RIGHT physical area is stimulated.

You have trained and conditioned yourself to reach an orgasm with you squeezing your legs together. Which means in order to find other ways to reach an orgasm your have to retrain your brain and/or find positions that works sexually with your partner where you CAN squeeze your legs together.

Like have sex while spooning (he be the big spoon in the back you in the front) for instance - that might work.. it might not.

Women who have used vibrators solo can find it hard to climax with a man as he can't "buzz"/"rub" as fast and furious as a battery operated toy can. But... with a little retraining it MIGHT happen with a guy, sometimes in COMBINATION with the toy.

Keep trying!

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