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Is it okay to send your boyfriend a video of you masturbating?

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Question - (10 March 2015) 13 Answers - (Newest, 11 March 2015)
A female Canada age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Would you consider it okay to send your boyfriend who is away for a few weeks on business a naughty video of you masturbating? Just to keep the spark going and to give him something to look forward to when he comes back?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2015):

Hi, it's OP.

Thank you all. I value your opinions. You all have made some good points.

I know it is my choice and I will be doing it.

Just wanted to open a discussion and see what others would do.

Curious really.

Thanks again for taking the time to contribute. :)

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (11 March 2015):

Tisha-1 agony auntSo OP, if you are comfortable with the situation then why the need for the question in the first place?

I'm guessing he's the married guy who is a bit older than you and you are the poster who gets upset when he's away.

If you are good with it and he's good with it why the need to ask the aunts here at DC?

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (11 March 2015):

ID'd day do it. Personally I'd never share such a thing with anyone else, but obviously not every guy is the same...

For your own sake, maybe leave your gave out of it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2015):

It's the OP.

Thanks for all your answers.

Well Lightspeed Lemon, many people who are going through nasty divorces and were "within the safety of a permanent, monogamous relationship" may have been surprised to see their (EX) husband or wife post such a video for the world to see.

There is no safety in any relationship, married or otherwise. Things can go wrong for anyone at anytime.

I have been with him for 3 years. I trust him not to post it publicly EVER even if there was a break up. If I did not trust him or had the slightest doubt, I would not even consider it. So I do feel safe with him.

I will also tell you I am not worried because I have some goods on him and could retaliate very effectively if he decided to do something like that. Let's just say I also have videos of HIM if you know what I mean! ;)

He is gone for a month and a half. So this is a long time. We like to keep connected sexually so for us this kind of a thing is normal. We are very open and comfortable with our sexuality and are not afraid of trying new things. For some it is risky, for us it is spicy and sexy.

So I am getting that the consensus is that if I decide to I should but most people think he is going to post the videos somewhere. I know him and I could not see this happening. But I can certainly understand that fear.

I think that most men find it a turn on to see a woman masturbating. And no man will ever be offended to receive this kind of a video. ;)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2015):

You are an adult. In an adult relationship. Why do you need permission from strangers for something like this?

If you trust him and you want to do it. Then do it. You are more than old enough to know the risks and rewards. As well as deal with any consequences that may or may not arise.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (11 March 2015):

Tisha-1 agony auntHow old is boyfriend? And does he have other girlfriends? Or a wife?

I'd assume any digital images could be hijacked or misused. It happens to credit card holders all the time.

Are you concerned that he's not thinking about you while he's away or something? Why not just have some nice phone sex?

You obviously are concerned that it wouldn't be okay or you wouldn't have asked. So what else is going on here? Is he married?

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A male reader, Lightspeed Lemon Canada +, writes (11 March 2015):

Lightspeed Lemon agony auntIf you said husband instead of boyfriend, it wouldn't be much of an issue, as it would be within the safety of a permanent, monogamous relationship. So you have to consider how long you've been together, whether you love each other, and if you're together for the long-term. This is not something that should be exchanged casually between partners still getting to know each other because we all know where these videos can end up! And if he's crossing international boundaries, authorities can search his laptop as well as his luggage. They sometimes go through computer files looking for illegal content, and while your video wouldn't qualify, it just might get seen by strangers.

If you two had a formal commitment and wanted to take the risk, I'd tell you such videos do serve a purpose for some couples. Guys need stimulation and release even when away from their partners. Obviously you should only do this if you are completely comfortable being exposed to such a degree (not just your body but your face and voice during orgasm, without which it's not really worth it). And know that when he sees this, he will become erect and masturbate - just in case you weren't fully aware of that fact. lol.

An alternative would be doing it live on video chat (preferably encrypted) which wouldn't leave "evidence" behind. (I assume you can trust him enough not to record screen shots.) It would also be interactive, with you able to see him and get immediate feedback. That's if you are comfortable performing live on the spot, which can be more daunting. The advantage of a recording is you can do it anytime you want and have more control over the quality - as well as him being able to watch and re-watch it over and over during his time away.

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A female reader, BettyBoup United Kingdom +, writes (10 March 2015):

BettyBoup agony auntI really wouldn't, simply because once it's recorded, it is entirely possible for it to end up being viewed by someone other than your boyfriend. That would have repercussions for you down the road. Worst case scenario it gets out there after you brake up or someone else gets a hold of it, then it could effect your future employment options and it would really feel pretty bad.

It is up to you though, but I'd suggest if you do, make sure you cannot be recognised in it. Or send a picture in lingerie, or a sexy outfit. That's more suggestive and flirty anyway. It will make him imagine what you look like underneath, rather than being able to clearly see it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2015):

It's the OP. Thanks for the opinions.

Anybody think this IS A GOOD IDEA?????

I would also like to hear from you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2015):

Most emphatically NOT!!! These days people put things over the internet without your permission, they show intimate videos of their mates to their friends, and I find the whole idea ridiculously risky! If not totally stupid!!!

You have no idea how long this guy is going to be your boyfriend, or what he'd do with the video if you have a nasty breakup. If he wants to watch you tickle your fancy, give him a live in-house performance! Let his memory record the show!

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A female reader, mystiquek United States + , writes (10 March 2015):

mystiquek agony auntI wouldn't do it. Too many people have come on DC upset saying that their ex decided to put their sexy pics/videos on the internet to share with the world. It sounds good at the time but if things cool down or you break up...yuk. If you are going to do that, I would follow honeypie's suggestions..no face shots.

I personally..would never do this. I just don't like what could happen if it gets into the wrong hands. I'd prefer some sexy emails or some suggestive voice messages...

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (10 March 2015):

Honeypie agony auntIf you want to and if you think he would appreciate it. I'd just have ONE suggestion... don't have your face in any of the shots.

He is your BF, not fiance or husband so if... anything turns sour you don't have to worry about it ending up on the Internet as a revenge..

Personally, I don't get it. I don't think it's sexy. I find dick/vag shots kind of gross. Now I don't MIND seeing my husband's penis, but I don't want THAT on my phone. I know it might sound old fashioned or prudish, so be it. I know how many people's "sexy" home-movies have ended up in places they weren't intending them to be. I also know how hard (and costly) is IS to get them removed of the Internet.

For me, those moments are for when you are together. Now letting him know what you "might" be doing while he is gone can feed an imagination. I guess people rather NOT use their imagination when it comes to gratification. Because an up close and personal shot or video of a lover or stranger is but a click away.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2015):

If you think he is receptive of that and that he won't post it on YouTube then go right ahead!

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