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What should I do to save our relationship? BF says he loves me more as a close friend than a girlfriend

Q.   So I'm feeling my bf is pulling away from me, I think he is just not that interested in me as he did before. We've been together for 8 months, and last week we talked about break up, he clearly wants to be real close friend if break up, like he ...

A.   10 September 2011: Yeah, just stop contacting him. Hang out with other people. Catch up with friends you haven't spoken to in a while. This sends him the message that you are a strong person who does not need him. If he does really love you, your absence will give him ... (read in full...)

What should I do to save our relationship? BF says he loves me more as a close friend than a girlfriend

Q.   So I'm feeling my bf is pulling away from me, I think he is just not that interested in me as he did before. We've been together for 8 months, and last week we talked about break up, he clearly wants to be real close friend if break up, like he ...

A.   9 September 2011: Yeah back off from him. I know you really love him, but you can get over those feelings with time. If you do as he has suggested - just be friends - then if it IS meant to be he will realize he made a mistake and will want to make it more than ... (read in full...)

How do you find the inner strength to help people?

Q.   I just want to let everyone know that I have been on this site for at least 4 years and its been the best site from heaven.... I have been troubled by my broken marriage and have a hard time putting things together ....how do you people do it ...ju...

A.   6 September 2011: Because I have been in a bad place emotionally before, so I want to help other people see a way forward again. I don't know, answering peoples questions is also interesting for me, because it helps me to clarify my own thoughts and feelings around ... (read in full...)

I'm gay, my wife says I can look not touch and my b/f won't be with me unless I'm single!

Q.   Here it is I have been married for three years, and have a 3yr old son. Im gay but my wife thinks im bi, she tells me i can look at guys but can't touch. To top it all off I have a boyfriend who only wants to be with me if im not married. I feel ...

A.   6 September 2011: Why on earth did you marry a woman and have a child with her, if you are gay? The right thing to do now would be to leave your wife and work hard at keeping a good civil relationship with her so you can regularly see your son, and to give your wife... (read in full...)

We are not official - can we date other people?

Q.   Heya I have a quick question I,ve been dating a young man for nearly two months now. We're not officially girlfriend and boyfriend. He hasn't been with another girl since we met but since we're just dating is it ok for him to be with other girls...

A.   5 September 2011: My suggestion is, if you are considering this, don't make it official with this man. Just date and see other people. if you are interested in other options, this guy doesn't do it for you enough for you. ... (read in full...)

These past few days he's been different. mean to me. How does anyone cope when a boy friend gets like this?

Q.   Hello Everyone, I am pretty upset now and don't know how anyone deals/copes with it. Anyways my boyfriend and I have been going out for almost 4 years now. We had our ups and downs, never broke up EVER. If we did it lasted like 2 days. These pas...

A.   5 September 2011: I am sorry he ended your 4 year relationship in such a cowardly way. But look on the bright side, he showed you his true colours before you were married with kids. You are a genuine person who has the capacity to truely love someone. Feel ble... (read in full...)

Why do certain men have a girlfriend if they're just going to cheat?

Q.   Why do certain men have a girlfriend if they're just going to cheat? What's the point in being in a relationship in the first place? I mean the men who have a girlfriend but cheat on her any chance they get. Do you think they do it just because they ...

A.   5 September 2011: Like YouWish says, it is a person who cannot control his animalistic urges with his morality and empathy. The type of person who does things that hurt other people like stealing, pedophilia etc, have an inability to realize that their id desires ... (read in full...)

Why do certain men have a girlfriend if they're just going to cheat?

Q.   Why do certain men have a girlfriend if they're just going to cheat? What's the point in being in a relationship in the first place? I mean the men who have a girlfriend but cheat on her any chance they get. Do you think they do it just because they ...

A.   5 September 2011: Good question. I think they want to have their cake and to eat it. A girlfriend can provide long term comfort and security, but they still get the excitement of sleeping with as many women as they can. They basically are very selfish and have no ... (read in full...)

I want to love him, but its just not happening

Q.   Ok, i have been seeing this guy Dave for a year now. He is good looking , hard working and really kind to me and my two children from a previous relationship. The problem is no matter how hard i try i just dont get proper feelings for him. I thou...

A.   23 August 2011: I guess you shouldn't have to try hard to have feelings for someone, they should naturally be there. You've givem it a year. It would be unfair to string him along for more years if you don't truely love him. Go with your gut. ... (read in full...)

How many men at 51 are actually having sex out there?

Q.   How many men at the age of 51 are able(phisically) to have sex? Does erectile disfunction strike at this age too? Masturbating doesn't count as sex. If you, a 51 year old man, could have as much sex as you wanted in a week, how many times would yo...

A.   23 August 2011: Well it's good to know that some guys out there love sex in their 40s and 50s, as well they should. My experience, as a woman, is different. I am the one with a 40 years man who would rarely have sex if I didn't want it. But I could have it every ... (read in full...)

Tricked by a man - again!

Q.   What is going on with me ? I have just been totally tricked yet again.I have had my fair share of life lessons regarding relationships but seem more naive than I have ever been. I met a guy who I thought really liked me .he seemed so genuine and we ...

A.   23 August 2011: Please be careful. Perhaps he does have good intentions and wants a relationship with you. But he could also have contacted you again because he was lonely and knew you would speak to him and possibly have sex with him again. How can you know for ... (read in full...)

Is it wrong to have a relationship with a much older man?

Q.   An older man contacted me. He is older by a lot but likes me and wants to have a relationship. I like him but he is old! and i am waaaay younger. He wants me sexually but is it wrong to like someone with a 50 year difference? Is something wrong with ...

A.   22 August 2011: Hey. I'm with k c100. I'm currently dating someone 16 years older, so I'm not against age differences. However, 50 years is a massive difference. But it depends what it is you want out of your love life. If it is long term partnership, I'd say ... (read in full...)

For the guys: Do you like it if a girl wears just one perfume? Or changes?

Q.   GUYS: Do you prefer a girl wears only one perfume or should they change it up? Would you want your girlfriend to use one perfume, always smelling the same, or should she change it up and wear different perfumes all the time? Is it better to hav...

A.   19 August 2011: I'm sure a lot of guys wouldn't ever think about it. My boyfriend only notices when he doesn't like my perfume. So I guess most guys are happy as long as you smell nice and not bad. I know you want a guys opinion on this, but my advice is wear perf... (read in full...)

He had been drinking a lot but said he wants to marry me one day.....did he mean it?

Q.   The other night my boyfriend was drinking a lot and we started a very in depth conversation about what is in store for our live and what we wanted out of it.... long story short he told me that he was going to marry me. That he wanted to marry me so ...

A.   16 August 2011: Yes they can mean it, but don't rely on it. When drunk we can express our deep unconscious hopes and dreams, but the next day we can forget the whole conversation, or be more realistic about it. Also people change, so although in the heat of the ... (read in full...)

Advice to be less controlling with my boyfriend?

Q.   Hi all! I have a problem, I am quite needy and I find that this affects my relationships as I can become quite controlling. Let me explain…I have just spent a chunk of time with my partner. he wants some space now to spend time with his friends. I ...

A.   16 August 2011: Aw I'm sorry you are struggling with this. I am a bit like you. I like to spend a lot of time with my closest loved one, at the moment by boyfriend, and he likes his own space. So I can understand where you are coming from. I would suggest spen... (read in full...)

I feel so ugly and gross! My only boyfriend just broke up with me...

Q.   I feel so ugly and gross... I recently broke up with my only boyfriend. Granted, I'm only 22 and I met him when I was 17. It was a long, serious and intense relationship. We had a lot of issues but we always thought love could help us make it. ...

A.   16 August 2011: Hey lady, I'm sorry you're going through a bad time right now. Reading your post made me realise I should be happy for what I have. I, like you really struggle with liking myself. I am pear shape and have celulite, and a bum much bigger than my b... (read in full...)

My brother walked in on us having sex. Now its awkward. What should I do??

Q.   This is quite a long story but please stick with it. A few days ago, my boyfriend was away doing preseason training with his and my brothers team. They are both professional rugby players so are away a lot training and playing etc. Anyway, i h...

A.   16 August 2011: Aw, this is just one of those really awkward things in life that seem awful and cringy when they happen. But in a few days, weeks and months it will be less and less awkward, until you forget about it. Eventually it'll turn into a funny embarrassing ... (read in full...)

Is love really worth it?

Q.   Is love really worth it? I always see people that are in relationships struggling and it got me thinking there are far more negatives than positives when it comes to the subject. I see in life and on here that people are always cheating or hurting ...

A.   16 August 2011: It can be difficult yes. But it has great benefits over being alone. Although being single does have its benefits also. Is love worth the trouble in life? Yes, it can be. But, yes, you have to relinquish the idea that it will be like it is in the ... (read in full...)

The little things are starting to get to me.....any advice?

Q.   My wife and I have been married a little over a year and we have been together for 5 years. I love my wife but i'm forseeing problems that I don't know we can help. Everyone has their hangups. Not flushing the toilet sometimes, being a little messy, ...

A.   16 August 2011: Learning difficulties or not, you are letting her rely on you too much. There are programs that help with dyslexia etc, and she must learn to be self sufficient. Teach her to use spell checker. I am bad with spellings, and find it much less hassle ... (read in full...)

I don't know what I want to do with my life!

Q.   I've been always trying to avoid to answer when someone asks me about my dream and what I wanna be because I've never been able to tell. I don't know what I want and what I wanna be. I'm 21 now with no goals. I'm not sure of my life. I'm studying ...

A.   16 August 2011: Try not to worry too much. There is too much pressure these days to make these decisions, and we are expected to know what we want to do from our early teens. Well, not everyone does. You are still figuring out who you are, and what is important, so ... (read in full...)

I tried being less available hoping he'd propose ...

Q.   Hey everyone, seen a few similar posts, so thought I'd ask for help too! I have been trying this new 'technique' where I've stopped being so readily available and have started taking a renewed interest in my own life - work, hobbies, friends and the ...

A.   13 August 2011: Hi there. Ok, I have to tell you. It sounds like your guy is misinterpreting your behaviour, because he doesn't know why you are being less available and attentive. All he can do is guess. He isn't nessassarily going to guess that you want him to ... (read in full...)

He wanted to spend so much time with his friends. We were missing out on more intimate moments. Was I out of line in this ?

Q.   Hi all, Ok so my boyfriend of 3 months broke up with me suddenly on Wednesday night over the phone and I have not heard from him since. The situation is as follows: Things were always really good when we spent time alone, although we also spe...

A.   13 August 2011: My suggestion is move on. This guy doesn't sound like he really wants a real relationship, he just wants a girl he can hang out with and sleep with when he doesn't have plans with his friends. There's nothing wrong with having an active social life, ... (read in full...)

Can I please have every suggestion you can think of to keep a LDR interesting, happy and successful?

Q.   Im just starting a long distance relationship and i really want it to work. so im just looking for advice on how to keep it going for the long run. when i mean advice i mean how to keep things interesting even when you cant see each other what keeps ...

A.   12 August 2011: I was with my boyfriend over 3 years of Uni and will be going away for 3 months to have a mini gap year. It is difficult, but it can work. If you really love each other you can make it work. I guess what you have to do is to accept that while you ... (read in full...)

I finally feel happy....so why is my ex contacting me again?

Q.   Hi there:) I was just wondering if you guys could clarify something for me. I dumped my ex in April after an extremely difficult 3 year relationship. To cut a long story short: he drank too much, treated me like dirt, took me for granted with his...

A.   10 August 2011: Maybe things didn't turn out so cosy with his best female friend, so now he misses you. But you left for a reason, and have finally started to feel happy again. So if I were you, I wouldn't risk messing up your life again by letting him back in. ... (read in full...)

Do men lose their sex drive? He's 34 and he's just 'not in the mood' any more...

Q.   Dear Cupid, I have been together with my partner for a little over 2 years now and most things in the relationship are great.. actually they are more than great. The problem is my man has gone off sex and I don’t know what to do about it. I ...

A.   10 August 2011: Jamie Starr, there was something wrong with you though, wasn't there? You had no empathy or respect for anyone but yourself. Your answer makes me so angry. If you stopped being excited by your girlfriend, why were you too scared to leave her, ... (read in full...)

Are girls jealous that I hook up with guys that they can't get with?

Q.   im single and when i get drunk i like to have fun every now and then ive hooked up with a few guys that i know and like from school. are these girls jealous of me for hooking up with a few guys from school that they couldnt get with?...

A.   8 August 2011: It might be jealousy, or it could be that these girls have different values to you. By calling you easy, it shows they don't respect girls who hook up with lots of guys. It's your life, so do what you feel is right for you. Sometimes that will mean... (read in full...)

Guys: Would you be with a virgin? Or is it really 'too much drama'?

Q.   Most guys I know say that they don't want to sleep (or even date because that will eventually lead to sleeping) with a virgin, because it's 'too much drama'. I feel like I'm way behind and I won't find anyone to ever be with me just because of that....

A.   2 August 2011: (to the one who wrote the question) Sure times have moved on, but guys will still look down on women who are free and easy with their sexuality. The purity and sacredness of virginity may not be thought of bymany young people in western society toda... (read in full...)

Guys: Would you be with a virgin? Or is it really 'too much drama'?

Q.   Most guys I know say that they don't want to sleep (or even date because that will eventually lead to sleeping) with a virgin, because it's 'too much drama'. I feel like I'm way behind and I won't find anyone to ever be with me just because of that....

A.   1 August 2011: Quite the opposite for a lot of men. A lot of men would rather be with a virgin than someone who has had many partners. Virgins used to be considered pure and sacred, and it was considered sinful or shameful to have sex before marriage. It still is ... (read in full...)

Husband caught playing "sexual chicken" now what?

Q.   I've been married to my husband for over a year. Two months ago I found a sexually explicit text on his phone (I wasn't snooping, it displayed the text when I plugged his phone in the charger. You can bet I snooped after that, though). It was from a ...

A.   29 July 2011: Please leave this man. He is totally disrespecting you by flirting so innappropriatly with this woman. It is deceitful and hurtful to you. He can't justify it by calling it a game. It is not fun for you and is not behaviour of a married man. It ... (read in full...)

Should I be on the lookout? Or let these memories fade?

Q.   My boyfriend's ex wife recently put a picture of her and my boyfriend looking very cosy together as her facebook profile picture. They've not been together for almost two years and so I was nonplussed why she would do this. My boyfriend says the ...

A.   26 July 2011: It sounds like the woman has issues. She has been divorced for 2 years yet still hasn't moved on. It is a bit sad to put up a picture of your ex husband as your profile picture after 2 years. Even if there are still feelings there, clinging to a ... (read in full...)

After 8 years of being friends I'm finding it hard seeing us as a couple

Q.   I don’t know how my relationship with my best friend/boyfriend will work. The situation is, we were best friends for 8 years, and then about 4 weeks ago I told him that I liked him more than a friend. He said he felt the same and we have been goi...

A.   26 July 2011: Take things slowly. It may take some time for the transition from friends to patners, which is understandable when you have been friends for so long. Try not to question it too much or think that it will be weird or awkward. If you think like that, ... (read in full...)

He chats and tells other girls I'm just a helper. I love him, but I love me more!

Q.   Hi, I really need advice, I m with a guy and I m happy, he says he loves me, and sometimes he says I'm the most wonderful thing that happened to him, but I know he still chatting, and looking for girls, and even said to one of them that I'm just a ...

A.   26 July 2011: You deserve better. Helper? How insulting! He doesn't deserve you.... (read in full...)

How do I moderate my behaviour and be a good girlfriend?

Q.   Sorry for any rambling but here is a quick low down of my situation. Basically,I have a boyfriend who is kind, sweet, ect. ect. I am not in love with him and doubt I ever will be but we are really close and I genuinely like him a lot and he knows...

A.   26 July 2011: I have a question, if you don't love him and never will, why are you in a relationship with him? You say you want to change your behaviour to be a good girlfriend, yet it sounds like you see this relationship as very casual. So I am wondering why ... (read in full...)

I have a great sex drive and my husband has almost none. How can this work?

Q.   I was wondering if anyone can relate to being sexually frustrated. I have a great sex drive always have and my husband has next to no sex drive. He says he's very attracted to me and thinks I'm sexy but we hardly have sex. When we do its great but ...

A.   26 July 2011: Jesus that's depressing! I always thought a LTR/marriage meant a good, frequent sex life. And apparently once every 2 weeks is good? wow... Well I can empathise with you. I also have a high sex drive with a partner who would be happy with fort... (read in full...)

I love him with all my heart and yet just like Eve, I surrendered to temptation because of my weakness. Is there any hope to reconcile?

Q.   ive been with my boyfriend for 5 years and we were happy all throughout. We moved in together on our 2nd year and lived together for 3yrs. Ever since we moved in together, we had less and less sex. it would be about once a month.. i would get ...

A.   25 July 2011: I know you feel lost without him, but I think you are being too hard on yourself. I am not condoning cheating, it should never come to that, but I think you were pushed to the edge with his lack of willingness to improve your sex life. You are being ... (read in full...)

Should I tell him I know about the porn he watches?

Q.   My bf is 25 and we have sex once a month! last time I had it was 6 weeks ago. and he was drunk. it was perfect though. but the first 3 intercourses (when we just started dating)were unsuccessful, I mean he couldnt come at all. and he just stopped. I ...

A.   22 July 2011: Cindy, I don't think the OP meant that older women are obscene, rather that she was shocked that he is so into porn with mature women when she herself is a young woman. There is nothing wrong with being attracted to an older woman, or even very ... (read in full...)

Is cybersex cheating?

Q.   I have a cybersex habit. I had it before I met my wife and I still have it. I have a very high sex drive and my wife just doesn't keep up with me by any stretch. To me it is just a step beyond jerking myself off. In fact, that's what it is. Some...

A.   21 July 2011: It doesn't really matter whether or not cybersex can be "officially" classed as cheating. The point is, it is a part of your sex life that you hid from your wife. This is about deception. I'm sure she feels that she doesn't know you anymore. She ... (read in full...)

Why do people get the wrong idea and think that I am flirting?

Q.   dear cupid, Why do people think that I am flirting? I am happily married woman. My man rocks my socks off but other women always accuse me of flirting. When did flirting become synonymous with talking or being friendly with the opposite sex? I ...

A.   21 July 2011: Hey, I can relate. I too have always been a bit of a tomboy and can often relate easier to guys than girls. I think it's something to do with living with just my dad and brother from age 14. But I too have had female friends asking if there is ... (read in full...)

B/f calls my private parts his ex girlfriend's name?

Q.   ok so my fiance has a name for his penus :/ he calls it mr.wiggle.... he also has a name for my private part :/ its a female name "brittney" but i just found out that he actually dated some girl named brittany could he have just named it like that ...

A.   21 July 2011: Does he know that you know his ex was called "brittney"? Call him up on it. Next time he referes to your "brittney" tell him you don't feel comfortable with him calling your vagina by the name of his ex girlfriend. If he cannot understand that he ... (read in full...)

How much porn is TOO much? Is my boy friend's need for Porn excessive?

Q.   Im usually cool with porn. I watch it myself several times a week and often browse naughty picture websites. I generally see it as not a big deal most the time. Sure, sometimes it upsets me and makes me feel bad but I understand those are MY ins...

A.   20 July 2011: Hmm to each their own, but 20 full length pornos a week, and he has a blow job every day, and you have sex very frequently. Does this guy have any other hobbies or interests? I mean, 20 pornos? Thats like at least 20 hours spent watching sex scenes, ... (read in full...)

Why are so many women so selfish? Even the great ones we love dearly!

Q.   MY question is why do women expect us men to give them everything and anything they want that makes them happy, but they won't give us the simplest thing to make us happy; a blow job!? We go to all sorts of lengths, taking an interest in your...

A.   20 July 2011: Feel better?... (read in full...)

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