I'm like a lovesick teenager over this married woman! Help!
Q. I'm a single guy in my 40's and am extremely love sick, as silly as it may sound. I feel like a teenager with the feelings I have for someone, who is married, so this person is unattainable. We have known each other for several months and saw a...
A. 5 August 2011: come back down to earth and think about this. you are fixated on her cause you do not have a relationship of your own. she has. this love you feel is totally one sided. have your fantasies, have your butterflies, have someone who brightens your ... (read in full...)
Husband says he didn't buy extras at a strip club, but he spent a lot of money.
Q. My husband went to a strip club (more than once) and spent alot of money. He says he had beers and a few dances, but no extras. I'm having a hard time believing his story, but don't want to end our 38 years of marriage, if he is telling the truth. ...
A. 21 July 2011: he has got some SERIOUS answering to do. drawing out over $1,560 and can't/won't tell you why?
i know you respect the 38 years you have put into your marriage. i just hope that he does too
x... (read in full...)
He replies to my texts but never wants to meet up. Is he really interested?
Q. Do you think this guy is shy, or not interested? He gave me his number, and he always replies to me when i send him a message. But he hasn't asked me to meet up with him, and the times when we were supposed to meet up, he said he didn't have a lot ...
A. 21 July 2011: have you told him yet that you are not with that boyfriend anymore? x... (read in full...)
He replies to my texts but never wants to meet up. Is he really interested?
Q. Do you think this guy is shy, or not interested? He gave me his number, and he always replies to me when i send him a message. But he hasn't asked me to meet up with him, and the times when we were supposed to meet up, he said he didn't have a lot ...
A. 21 July 2011: just ask him, can i ask is all your communication done online and in text messages? if so it is hard to get a proper 'feel' of is he interested or not. and vice versa for him i imagine. just be straight with him. it seems like you are the one doing ... (read in full...)
He replies to my texts but never wants to meet up. Is he really interested?
Q. Do you think this guy is shy, or not interested? He gave me his number, and he always replies to me when i send him a message. But he hasn't asked me to meet up with him, and the times when we were supposed to meet up, he said he didn't have a lot ...
A. 19 July 2011: " hi, how are you ?. i've noticed it's your birthday this week. are you doing anything nice for it ?"
that is PERFECT, don't say it any different than that! :)
to him it will probably be a good sign that you have noticed when his birthday is,... (read in full...)
Does my boyfriend's ex-wife still turn him on?
Q. I'm in my 40's and divorced and so is my boyfriend. He and his ex have a good, civil relationship and it works really well for everyone. She's a very calm pretty rational woman and I don't get the thought like he's going to leave me for her like I ...
A. 19 July 2011: yeah, good call OP, just watch the situation instead of jumping in and saying something coz quite honestly i don't think you have anything to worry about, it seems to be that they are just maintaining a stable upbringing for their kids, even though ... (read in full...)
He replies to my texts but never wants to meet up. Is he really interested?
Q. Do you think this guy is shy, or not interested? He gave me his number, and he always replies to me when i send him a message. But he hasn't asked me to meet up with him, and the times when we were supposed to meet up, he said he didn't have a lot ...
A. 19 July 2011: ah well this shows things in a different light, (although he doesn't seem shy coz when you first met he was flirty with you) yep, maybe he does think you're still seeing the other guy. if he is a very good looking man, he may have a few women that ... (read in full...)
He replies to my texts but never wants to meet up. Is he really interested?
Q. Do you think this guy is shy, or not interested? He gave me his number, and he always replies to me when i send him a message. But he hasn't asked me to meet up with him, and the times when we were supposed to meet up, he said he didn't have a lot ...
A. 19 July 2011: that's fair enough that he wants to take things slow and be a friend before getting into an Rship. but from what you tell me he does not seem interested in forming even a friendship with you.
maybe he does not want a relationship with anyone, ... (read in full...)
How do I overcome being attracted to gay men?
Q. I find myself attracted to gay men often unknowingly, most of the time I don't find out they're gay until later. I realize it's mostly because they're safer and less threatening than straight men, who I almost have a fear of. How do I overcome this? ...
A. 19 July 2011: when you said you are scared of straight men, you need to address this, get to the root of WHY you are scared of them and then work through these feelings or get counselling to help. then you will stop going for the gay ones. maybe you are ... (read in full...)
Does my boyfriend's ex-wife still turn him on?
Q. I'm in my 40's and divorced and so is my boyfriend. He and his ex have a good, civil relationship and it works really well for everyone. She's a very calm pretty rational woman and I don't get the thought like he's going to leave me for her like I ...
A. 19 July 2011: nah, i think he got affectionate with you coz he got a sudden rush of good feelings about you, he was so happy to be with a woman who lets him spend time with his ex and the kids without getting all arsey about it! so he gave you a cuddle and then ... (read in full...)
Husband says he didn't buy extras at a strip club, but he spent a lot of money.
Q. My husband went to a strip club (more than once) and spent alot of money. He says he had beers and a few dances, but no extras. I'm having a hard time believing his story, but don't want to end our 38 years of marriage, if he is telling the truth. ...
A. 19 July 2011: hmm, the cell number and lying that he wanted to ring her boyfriend (did he give you a reason that he wanted to speak to the boyfriend?)- i can understand why your hubby would lie to you, its coz he's scared but he must think your pretty stupid if ... (read in full...)
Is he spending too much time with his female best friend?
Q. Now, it might be a little long so please bear with me. My boyfriend and I have been together for a while, and at first, I really didn't mind him spending time with his female best friend because well...they're best friends! But now, it's starti...
A. 19 July 2011: you are right to be insecure. he tells you you two can't explore coz there is no where to go, but he goes with her?? she likes him as more than a friend and she is very open about this?? (are you SURE that she likes him as more than a friend or have ... (read in full...)
What should I do to save my children from this situation?
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles, I have been active on this site and giving advices as well to those who seek emotional help but at this point in my life, I would like to seek some enlightenment of making decisions. When I got married, my family disowne...
A. 19 July 2011: sorry to hear about this truly awful situation! why do you feel you would have to 'steal' the children? they are yours and you are doing what's best for them. it is possible that your children could live with you and i mean all of them, including ... (read in full...)
He replies to my texts but never wants to meet up. Is he really interested?
Q. Do you think this guy is shy, or not interested? He gave me his number, and he always replies to me when i send him a message. But he hasn't asked me to meet up with him, and the times when we were supposed to meet up, he said he didn't have a lot ...
A. 19 July 2011: ask him. i know its daunting but its gotta be better than sitting around wondering.
he may be shy and needs a bit of encouragement from you so he might say yes and you've got yourself a date OR he may be simply not interested in you - in which... (read in full...)
We got back together, but how long will it last?
Q. Thanx for the advice guys, but on Tuesday me an my ex got back together. I guess he really did miss me, but how can I tell how long it will last? The last few times its been a month, but we really missed each other, spent the whole night cuddling in ...
A. 19 July 2011: whatever made you split up before - if it is still there or at least if you/him has not learned to deal and accept the problem - you will break up again... so, what you now need to do is do some work to sort the problem out, that newly-just- ... (read in full...)
Husband says he didn't buy extras at a strip club, but he spent a lot of money.
Q. My husband went to a strip club (more than once) and spent alot of money. He says he had beers and a few dances, but no extras. I'm having a hard time believing his story, but don't want to end our 38 years of marriage, if he is telling the truth. ...
A. 19 July 2011: no one knows the answer to this but your husband (and of course the people at the club) if he is frequenting places like this and paying girls for dances, what real difference does it make if he getting extras or not? the fact that he is there ... (read in full...)
He asked about my sexual history and now he's become extremely jealous.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for coming up on 5 months. We love each other very much and have been discussing moving in together. However,last night we had the conversation of 'past' relationships/flings etc. Before I was with this guy, I was married ...
A. 19 July 2011: you are not wrong, if you are not ashamed of your past then that's great and its great that you were honest with him rather than try to cover up -
but he is not wrong either - he knows what he finds and doesn't find acceptable. he has two choi... (read in full...)
Is this dream a sign to me
Q. had a dream last night and its really bothering me, i dreamt my man had someone on a back burner he knew and was friends with there in his life, just incase things didnt work with us, i was going to text him and tell him this, but he might think i ...
A. 18 July 2011: yes, but i think you are missing the point a little bit, asking him if he has anyone on the back burner coz of a dream you had will make you sound a little bit flaky to him as does questioning him because of something a psychic said (the reliability ... (read in full...)
Can being nervous mean a man can't keep an erection?
Q. I recently went home with a man I've had a crush on for the past year or so. He is twice my age and we've known each other in a strictly professional capacity, so it was quite unusual and exciting to have the chance to sleep with him. When we got to ...
A. 18 July 2011: aw it sounds like he had a lot on his mind, you had a crush on him and he did not want to disappoint you by not living up to the fantasy, his age - again did not want to disappoint you, your working relationship - might have made things in work ... (read in full...)
If we are just "friends", why did she get all dressed up to go out with me?
Q. Dear Agony Aunts, I know this girl and I like her, but she said she just wants to be friends. I was heartbroken at first but then said to myself, I like her enough so why not just be friends. So we made an arrangement last week to see a movie...
A. 18 July 2011: maybe coz she wants you to fancy her. she may fancy you but was too shy to make a move, or unsure of your feelings to her or she maybe one of these girls who think that men should always be the one to make the move. a lot of women think its low to ... (read in full...)
Husband of 17 years left last week, already wants our kids to meet his girlfriend!
Q. My husband of 17 years left me last week and the children (aged 12 and 14) were naturally upset. Well me too, but this question is about them, not me. He has moved in with another woman, who he apparently met in the pub about 2 months ago - she...
A. 18 July 2011: jeez! sorry but what an insensitive a**hole he is. he sound like a poster boy for 'middle aged crisis'. i think this decision should be entirely down to the kids as to when THEY feel ready to meet her. it certainly is not his call. he has lost ... (read in full...)
Is this dream a sign to me
Q. had a dream last night and its really bothering me, i dreamt my man had someone on a back burner he knew and was friends with there in his life, just incase things didnt work with us, i was going to text him and tell him this, but he might think i ...
A. 18 July 2011: dreams are a great way of bringing things to our attention. you obviously have concerns about them but you pushed them to the back of your mind and ignored them. however, when we are asleep the the unconscious mind takes over and starts working ... (read in full...)
How do I catch THAT fish?
Q. The saying 'There's plenty of fish in the sea', followed by 'I dont care, I want THAT fish!' My problem is that the above saying very much rings true to my situation at the moment (in regards to a girl). Any suggestions on how one catches T...
A. 18 July 2011: the particular fish in question might not like your bait, but plenty more will, why not give them a chance, they may surprise you
x... (read in full...)
I really liked my waitress and want to ask her out
Q. For my birthday yesterday we (mates and I) went to the 7 Diner, which is a place local to me 10 mins drive from here. The waitress was called Anna, and she was beautiful. She came over with a birthday cake later and sang Happy Birthday to me, and ...
A. 18 July 2011: you left your number. she knows you have been trying to reach her. she should ring you this time. if she fails to do that it is because she does not want to see/talk to/date you. she does not even give you the courtesy of a call to say ' hi what's ... (read in full...)
Is it love, or is it loneliness?
Q. Love or loneliness? When I finally decided to tell her my feelings, she asked me if I really liked her or if I really liked being with her. Honestly, I couldn't think of an answer, and I still can't answer that. She says that she was worried that...
A. 18 July 2011: i think she was testing you and when you could not come up with an answer it made you look like you couldn't think of any thing about her you really liked, this must have made her feel like you were just using her for the sake of having someone. if ... (read in full...)
Is this abuse?
Q. I really really really need some help. Ive been in a relationship with this man for about 8 months, although there was a break in between there when I broke up with him for about a month for the same reason Im concerned about now. He is constantly ...
A. 18 July 2011: yes this is definitely abuse. sounds VERY much like an ex of mine, and i'll tell you this - if i was not the strong character that i am, that guy would have trodden me into the carpet! he doesn't love you or else he would not risk losing you by ... (read in full...)
I helped him to get back on his feet and he repays me by cheating on me!
Q. I know I can never tell anyone this because its too disgusting and bizarre but when I graduated high school, maybe the stress of the transition, I became interested in a homeless man. I know its horrible and disgusting and just wrong, I helped him ...
A. 18 July 2011: what you did was not disgusting. you gave someone a chance, without you who knows where he would have ended up? it is not your fault that he abused your generosity. you can always be proud to know that you helped someone who needed it, there is no ... (read in full...)
How do I move on? It's been over a year now!
Q. So my exboyfriend broke up with me over a year ago and I just don't know how to move on. I am still very depressed and I just keep thinking why he didn't love me as much as I loved him. He got back with his exgirlfriend and I am completely ...
A. 18 July 2011: please don't feel like you compare poorly against his ex girlfriend that he went back to. in life we meet people along the way, some we hit it off with and some we don't so much. with relationships sometimes we are the one who wants to call it a ... (read in full...)
Should I stay or should I go?
Q. Well, my ex and I have a crazy relationship. Every time he's left me, he's come crawling back. So we decided to try to patch things up, but I didn't want to make it official until I saw changes. We got into a small argument a few weeks ago, and ...
A. 18 July 2011: this little boy doesn't know what he wants but there is one thing for sure - if he cared deeply he would not want to run the risk of losing you and he would not behave this way.
he knows he has got you on the end of a piece of string and he is ve... (read in full...)
I asked her to give me more oral, and then found out her ex's used to force her to give them oral and now I feel terrible....
Q. I have a problem and I want your imput on how to deal with it. Im afraid I may have been sexually assaulting my girlfriend, but its a complicated situation So me and her were dating for 11 months and I knew she had some problems in the past wi...
A. 18 July 2011: you shouldn't feel bad, they forced her but you were different and you asked, that means you are nothing like them and i am sure she realises that. be kind and gentle with her, don't ask for it again, when she realises she can trust you she may just ... (read in full...)
Looked at boyfriend's phone.....now I'm struggling to trust him.
Q. Once I read my bfs phone (I know, but don't judge me, I did have valid reason) and read some really inappropriate stuff to a girl he once dated (photos, sex talk and other stuff you don't say when you have a gf - it was his relationship with her ...
A. 18 July 2011: your trust has been destroyed by him, and there is not really any way to comeback. i would say that maybe you have a self confidence issue but there is more to this situation - you looked at his phone because you had some red flag that told you to, ... (read in full...)
I'm terrified of losing him. Or am I too paranoid?
Q. Hi, I have been going out with this guy for nearly a year. We were totally full on to begin with as he was away travelling. We moved in together in April. In the last few weeks I noticed he has cooled off a little bit and I have been trying extra ...
A. 18 July 2011: to get things on an even level you have to become a little less involved with him. go out with your friends, have interests of your own, it will give you other thing to think about and stuff to talk to him about. maybe you are feeling worse ... (read in full...)
Apparently her boyfriend has the same name as mine does. Is this just a coincidence?
Q. Hello, i've been with my Boyfriend now for 9 months and i love him to dealth. About a week ago we had an argument but sorted it all out, problem is since we had the argument a week ago he's started texting me a little less but texting an old friend ...
A. 18 July 2011: he should have let you see the message if it was an innocent mistake, if you are being 'paranoid' it is because of his behaviour. my instinct from the things you have said is that if there is nothing going on between them, there is at least the ... (read in full...)
Have I scared him away with my behaviour? What should I do now?
Q. Hello all I need some advice. I was seeing a man for 15 months when he ended it and told me that e cared for me but could not give me what I wanted. He told me that he wanted to stay friends. I have never stayed friends with and ex before and in...
A. 18 July 2011: well i hope you stick to your guns then, unfortunately some 'lads' never ever grow up! i hope you are getting out and having some fun yourself and not just sitting around waiting for him to text you when he is at a loose end. fill you life with ... (read in full...)
Falling for my sister's best friend, what should I do?
Q. My younger sister recently moved in with her life long friend "Katie", they are both 19. Katie has a 1 yr old son from her ex bf, whom is an a**. They dated all through out high school but he always played mind games with her. I have always looked ...
A. 18 July 2011: don't forget it just coz of the age difference coz i don't think your ages matter - having a kid makes a 19 year old grow up anyway, probably why you get on so well coz she is mature.
you and your ex only broke up a few months ago though and you ... (read in full...)
Is this dream a sign to me
Q. had a dream last night and its really bothering me, i dreamt my man had someone on a back burner he knew and was friends with there in his life, just incase things didnt work with us, i was going to text him and tell him this, but he might think i ...
A. 18 July 2011: your dream may have been a psychic one (i know they exist coz i have had them) but it is very likely that you had the dream because it is your unconscious mind trying to process the insecurity you have (its an LDR - which obviously can be a cause ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is the love of my life! So why won't he tell me he loves me in person?
Q. Hey everyone, Hope you're well! Okay so me and my boyfriend who IS the love of my life have been together 14 months now. I love him so much! But I'm starting to wonder whether he loves me anymore? You see he always tells me he loves me by t...
A. 18 July 2011: maybe he feels like he doesn't need to say it. tell him you don't agree. do YOU say it to HIM in person? how it the relationship apart from that? does he behave like he loves and cares about you?
x... (read in full...)
Fiance said horrible things to me while really drunk. Was it just the alcohol?
Q. my fiance told me last night whilst drunk that he hated me and how he thinks im a bad mum to our children, he said i should get out of his life and how he can do so much better than me how he deserves so much better than me. this all started due to ...
A. 18 July 2011: exactly! you need to speak to him about this and see what his opinion is when he is sober. drinks and indeed certain drinks can turn people nasty , this sounds like he got angry at you coz you gave him the cold shoulder when he came in drunk ... (read in full...)
I'm like a lovesick teenager over this married woman! Help!
Q. I'm a single guy in my 40's and am extremely love sick, as silly as it may sound. I feel like a teenager with the feelings I have for someone, who is married, so this person is unattainable. We have known each other for several months and saw a...
A. 17 July 2011: yep, its difficult when the head and the heart don't agree isn't it? there is nothing wrong with being friends with her BUT when you say you are lovesick and would jump at the chance of more if she were single then that sort of suggests that your ... (read in full...)
Have I scared him away with my behaviour? What should I do now?
Q. Hello all I need some advice. I was seeing a man for 15 months when he ended it and told me that e cared for me but could not give me what I wanted. He told me that he wanted to stay friends. I have never stayed friends with and ex before and in...
A. 16 July 2011: to be honest it does sound like he just wants something casual with you and as he has known you for 15 months already i cannot imagine he is suddenly ever going to change has mind about you and want to get serious. keeping casual company with ... (read in full...)
He pretended to be young, when really he is a 44 year old man! What should I do?
Q. hi ... i'm a girl 18 ... i met some guy on on internet on a 3D game ..he told me his name is Paul and he is 18 ... i loved him ...he shown me some pic for young boy pretending its him.. after being his gf ... in some night he told me he is Ahmed ...
A. 16 July 2011: i know it hurts right now, it always does when we are lied to and treated like a fool. your feelings will get easier over time. you have learned a valuable life lesson in the meantime though - do not trust a person online until you get to know them ... (read in full...)
Lost, insucure and anxious without my teacher being with me. I'm petrified shes going to abandon me. Why do I feel this way?
Q. I am desperatly in love with my female teacher and i dont know what to do. have been really really depressed in this last year and she is the one who stopped me self harming for good. She is literally the only one i trust out of everybody i know ...
A. 16 July 2011: do you have any other family that you are close to? aunties, uncles, grandparents? you just NEED someone who is there for you, to know someone cares. you see, whatever help you thought at the time your self harm was giving you at the time, you have ... (read in full...)
So what do guys really want?
Q. So what do guys really want? last night I went out with my friends to a pub/club and they were projecting music videos. Of course as "club music" videos go, they all had "hot" girls in them with skimpy clothes. My guy friends were all commenting ...
A. 16 July 2011: guys can be terrible when they get together, it can turn into a testosterone fest! of course they are going to ogles scantily clothed gorgeous looking women, its nature but in reality they would want to date someone who has a personality that makes ... (read in full...)
Is he into me or not?
Q. if a guy says he likes me what actually means? we just met via internet and chatting after couple of weeks. and he has lots of fans in his website. before he asked me whether i'm into serious relationship or not? and i said yes to him. ...
A. 16 July 2011: you said yes you want serious. you need to find out if he wants serious or not. don't be afraid to ask him questions, it is your responsibility to your self for your own emotional welfare - important that you get to know HIM, not just feeding him ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is acting strange.....
Q. okay, so my boyfriend is acting strange. We have been together nearly 2 years and he has been acting extremely weird. for example, he will argue over the stupidest things and he knows I do not like to argue and he continues to argue. He knows i do ...
A. 16 July 2011: you have treated him really nice and he is acting like an ungrateful brat. he knows you are easy going and will do anything rather than argue and he is using this to his advantage so you need to toughen up a bit. unfortunately being nice does not ... (read in full...)
I'm like a lovesick teenager over this married woman! Help!
Q. I'm a single guy in my 40's and am extremely love sick, as silly as it may sound. I feel like a teenager with the feelings I have for someone, who is married, so this person is unattainable. We have known each other for several months and saw a...
A. 16 July 2011: you KNOW what you SHOULD do coz outlined it perfectly in the third paragraph of your post!
as far as you are aware she is not looking for an affair with you or to leave her husband, maybe it is her unattainability that is drawing you to her more... (read in full...)
He has no time for me!
Q. i had a friend and first he used to care for me alot and consider me as his best friend..but now he is completely changed and had stoped bothering me...now he has new friends and he is paying very less attention to me....fact is that i love him alot ...
A. 16 July 2011: stay friend with him, but just accept that while he has met new friends he will want to spend time with them, maybe more so while its early in the friendship and they're having fun. make some new friends too if you can. sometimes the lifelong ... (read in full...)
He pretended to be young, when really he is a 44 year old man! What should I do?
Q. hi ... i'm a girl 18 ... i met some guy on on internet on a 3D game ..he told me his name is Paul and he is 18 ... i loved him ...he shown me some pic for young boy pretending its him.. after being his gf ... in some night he told me he is Ahmed ...
A. 16 July 2011: see this for what it is - you fell for a fantasy characher who doesn't exist. this predatator of a man is now really angry that you turned out to be too smart for his lies, hence the nasty messages.
i know you feel very hurt and dissapoi... (read in full...)
Have I scared him away with my behaviour? What should I do now?
Q. Hello all I need some advice. I was seeing a man for 15 months when he ended it and told me that e cared for me but could not give me what I wanted. He told me that he wanted to stay friends. I have never stayed friends with and ex before and in...
A. 16 July 2011: when you say you have 'hardly' heard from him, that means you HAVE heard from him though? its only natural that he is not gonna be as attentive as usual while he is on a stag weekend. i bet none of the lads are bothering to contact their wives and ... (read in full...)
Lost, insucure and anxious without my teacher being with me. I'm petrified shes going to abandon me. Why do I feel this way?
Q. I am desperatly in love with my female teacher and i dont know what to do. have been really really depressed in this last year and she is the one who stopped me self harming for good. She is literally the only one i trust out of everybody i know ...
A. 16 July 2011: you are fixated on this teacher and you know this is not good because there is a very good chance that one day you will be parted. you need to establish a way to cope with your self harming issues that does not involve being reliant on another ... (read in full...)
I really liked my waitress and want to ask her out
Q. For my birthday yesterday we (mates and I) went to the 7 Diner, which is a place local to me 10 mins drive from here. The waitress was called Anna, and she was beautiful. She came over with a birthday cake later and sang Happy Birthday to me, and ...
A. 8 July 2011: Anna is either the QUEEN of playing hard to get or she is avoiding you coz she isn't interested in a date. She has got your number from the business card you left and she knows you have been trying to get in touch with her at the diner. why don't ... (read in full...)
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