A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:The saying 'There's plenty of fish in the sea', followed by 'I dont care, I want THAT fish!' My problem is that the above saying very much rings true to my situation at the moment (in regards to a girl).Any suggestions on how one catches THAT fish? I'd be interested in knowing how anyone who has been able to 'catch that fish', and how they did it.If you did, was it because the fish she (or he) wanted to be caught?People say, 'go find yourself someone else' but Im not that interested in doing that- If I cant be with them, then Im not settling for 'second best' just for the sake of it- its probably unfair to both myself and them.Many thanks for your answers Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI agree with your statement though about impressions of a woman- She cant win! ;)
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks CindyCares for your answer- I'll have you know that I have made no attempt whatsoever to try and catch her, so there is not really anything 'uncalled for' other than being a friend. I do very much respect her current situation.
I guess the question itself makes it look like I am scheming to try and take her away from her fisherman, but in reality I would not do that to her or him (I like them bothe) , making the question hypothetical to some extent- Just interested thats all, in whether, as my question states "I'd be interested in knowing how anyone who has been able to 'catch that fish', and how they did it"
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (20 July 2011):
 Slightly off topic, but...I am afraid it goes to show how girls - or fish - can't ever win.
If a woman is distant, unresponsive, indifferent to your attentions and emotions- she is conceited, egocentric, a "princess", a stuck up b...h. If she is warm , friendly, caring and shows a (non-sexual ) liking to you... 9 out of 10 she gets an over- eager, uncalled- for fisherman who won't respect the fact that she is taken and will scheme and contrive a way to "catch " her.
Ah what murky waters girls have to swim in :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou're right, I am just a bit (oh all right, a lot) obsessed with this woman. Although already taken, she has been friendly, nice, cheerful, always happy towards me, always prepared to listen, as well as tell me about her life as well. She is a rarity I guess and another reason is the fact that for reasons known to her, she likes me and has never minded showing it.
I guess understandably it wasnt difficult to fall for this fish, although i dont think it was her intention as she is just a nice person, and Im extremely jeolous of the fisherman who got there first :D
There is no other fish at the moment that even comes close to this fish in my opinion, overall, in terms of looks and personality.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLove all your answers, thanks! Yes this fish is in someone else's net already sadly (arent they always?) , which probably makes me look like even more of a sad case ;)
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (18 July 2011):
 Which reminds me of a joke:
What's the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can't tuna fish!
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (18 July 2011):
 Is the fish in someone else's net already? Does the fish swim in a large school or is the fish a solitary type, hiding in a reef?
Has the fish sniffed the bait and swum away, or does this fish have no idea the bait even is interested?
Some fish dislike being stalked.
We need more info about this particular fish.
Another way to think about capturing the interest of a particular woman is to think about it as a job interview. First of all, is there actually a job vacancy? If there isn't, there's really not much point in submitting the resume.
If there IS a job vacancy, consider the skills needed for the job. Do you possess the necessary requirements? If not, don't bother applying. If you know what they are, and can fulfill them, go do so.
If you don't know if there is a vacancy, or what the requirements for the position, then you aren't qualified for the job.
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male
reader, Odds +, writes (18 July 2011):
 If you're so fixated on one woman that no other will do, you won't get her. Believing that failing to get one particular woman will only cause you to avoid taking necessary risks. You might not work up the guts to ask her out, or you might do so awkwardly, or you might be afraid to take the conversation in the edgy, sexual direction necessary for attraction (or you might overdo it and turn her off).
Even if you do all that stuff right, in the end, being the only girl for you before you've even dated is tremendous pressure to put on a girl. She will not like it, no matter how great a guy you are.
Sure, she's a unique snowflake, just like everyone else. That doesn't make her special. What makes her special is the shared memories of a relationship. Until then? "Second-best" is no better or worse than she is.
To get that one particular girl, you must do it within a very narrow timeframe - either the first or second time you see her in person. Any stories you can find of a guy liking a particular girl, going for it, and getting her? I'd be willing to bet they happened within that timeframe. It's just life. Ask her out, and best of luck with it, but don't beat yourself up too bad if it doesn't work out.
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female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (18 July 2011):
 the particular fish in question might not like your bait, but plenty more will, why not give them a chance, they may surprise you
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2011): OP for the record, women and your love for certain ones comes and goes. So there will be a time when she won't be top of your list anymore.
How do you catch that fish? Fishing won't work because that's luck of the draw and you may catch a herring, so just dive in and swim after that specific one.
What I mean is just go for it. There is no special trick, no magic formula you just ask her out simple as that. Women aren't difficult to get, if you like one you woo her, you ask her out and go out on dates with her. If she's unavailable or not interested then you stop being a lovesick pansy and man up. You stop pining for someone you can't have and do all that's necessary to move on.
As for the second best thing, it is always better to wait until you're over someone before you start dating someone else. So if for whatever reason you can't ave this one then do the sensible thing and move on emotionally first. it's easy as hell but it takes time.
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