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People are like stained - glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
I've been on DC since 2007. I have seen just about everything you can imagine on here. I am a "softer" responder. I try to always give good advice with kindness. I genuinely want to help people and never want to hurt someone by the words I type since most people that come to DC are already hurting in some way.
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Bought a sex-toy, but I'm not sure if it is safe to use.
Q. So, I have recently purchased a sex toy called "Ring o's" which is a small rubber hoop, which you put on the base of the penis, it is described as "enhancing the lastability and hardness". Now, I tried it out once, and it was pretty tight, so tight...
A. 25 April 2011: Doesn't sound like a good idea to me. What if you get it on and can't get off? Think of not only the pain, but the embarrassment of having to go to the hospital for help. Uh no, not a good idea at all. As ampersand says, cutting off the blood flow ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to ask a married man out for coffee?
Q. Hi everybody. First time here. Could use your advice. I am friendly with a married man. Our sons go to karate together. We talk a lot when we see each other twice a week. He always finds me to talk and seems to enjoy my company. I enjoy his compan...
A. 25 April 2011: I agree with Aunty BimBim. Ask out him AND his wife. Asking him out alone looks very suspicious, and I don't think his wife would be too thrilled if he went alone. Don't invite trouble. ... (read in full...)
Will my gums heal? Is my smile ruined?
Q. Today, while playing with my dog, she accidentally jumped up and her tooth hit my top gumline, just above my two front teeth. It started to bleed like crazy, but now it has stopped, and I have a wound just above my teeth. I'm worried that my smile ...
A. 25 April 2011: Normally the mouth heals very quickly. Years of having braces taught me that. Unless the wound was very deep, I would think that it will heal without too much delay. I think the wisest thing you can do is to see your dentist. He can tell you ... (read in full...)
Is it worth it to keep up this long distance relationship?
Q. I've met this guy online about 5 months ago and he was very sweet and caring. He's a couple years older than me and although we've never met he tells me he has very strong feelings for me. He lives in New York though and i live in Arizona. Its very ...
A. 25 April 2011: A LDR is very difficult to maintain, even under the best of circumstances. Given your age, its not really a wise decision to stay in one. You are limiting your dating possibilities. Its no fun staying at home waiting for an email or a phone call ... (read in full...)
Should I give an ex gf gifts from my parents from Christmas?
Q. Ok. The situation is that I dated a girl from Oct to just after valentines day. I've gotten over the anger, humiliation, and frustration of that. I was a wreck but I did not show any of that insecurity. I did contact her once, then ran into her once ...
A. 21 April 2011: Class act all the way. ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with this man who I met online, as I've fallen for his personality, but I'm completely repulsed by him physically!!
Q. okay so this is a bit of a weird one. i met this guy on the internet and we quickly became close. for almost 2 years we chatted online every night until the early hours of the morning, and on the phone, texting ect. We've met up a couple of times...
A. 15 April 2011: Oh boy...this is the bad thing about LDR and not meeting them quickly. You really can fall for someone's personality. It happened to me. I went through a dating company, we talked for hours on the phone ect, he sent me a very small photo, kind of ... (read in full...)
How right is it to lie in order to meet your gf/bf?
Q. I am 22 years old. I have just finished college and now I'm back in my hometown. During my last year there, I got into a relationship with a guy who belongs to that city but is now doing an internship near to my hometown. He plans to visit me soon. ...
A. 14 April 2011: Parents want their children to be happy. I have 2 children grown and if their mate makes them happy, then I will gladly accept them. I would only disapprove if their mate was hurting them by lying, cheating, ect... Please don't lie or hide about ... (read in full...)
Do you think this could be the start of the end of our relationship?
Q. my partners mum passed away yesterday morning. I met him at the hospital to comfort him, went back to his brothers house after- put my arm around him on the couch but when we got home he told me to save it for when we're alone(he usually doe...
A. 8 April 2011: As already stated, everyone grieves in their own way. I would prefer to have others around me, but many people really do wish to be alone and grieve, process things. I know that you only wanted to comfort your mate, and I'm sure that the message got ... (read in full...)
My girfriend may be dying, why don't I care?
Q. Im really stuck here. My girlfriend was recently diagnosed with viral encephalitis which is irritation and swelling of the brain. She had it before and nearly died from it but recovered. I have felt that the relationship has been over for a ...
A. 5 April 2011: I'm sure you don't want her to die, and I don't think you're a terrible person either. Once a person cheats and hurts you, its like something dies inside of you. Things just aren't the same. Sometimes the love can be stoked back into a flame with ... (read in full...)
I have injuries from the war and now no one wants to date me
Q. Here's the deal i got back from Iraq almost 1 year ago from a explosion in which took my leg off, and left me with bullet holes in my back. I had my leg put back on, but now there is a 10 inch scar going down the right side by my knee and wraps ...
A. 5 April 2011: First of all, thank you for putting your life on hold, as well as your life on the line to serve and protect the US! That right there makes you a very special and brave young man, and any girl should be proud to go out with you. I'm sorry that... (read in full...)
B/f wants to have sex without a condom
Q. im 15 and my 15 yr. bf finaly got me 2 give him a b.j after 2 mounths of dating and now after 3 mounths he is trying 2 get me 2 give him my vergenity and he said we should not use a condom cuz it feels better w/out 1 then he said he wnts r 1st time ...
A. 5 April 2011: Please do not let your boyfriend talk you into doing this. This is foolish and dangerous on so many levels! You are so young, and have your whole life ahead of you and a pregnancy at your age would be absolutely devastating. Please know that it is ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's relationship with his mother makes me uncomfortable.
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for a yr and three months now. I've been living with him and his mom and its like a relationship I've never seen before! So here I go... His mom has been married on and off been divorced three times so its real...
A. 2 April 2011: Your boyfriend is used to being "the man around the house" and its been going on for so long, that neither of them probably even realize how it must appear to others. The mother is way too dependent on her son. What would concern me more is the ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my parents I can hear them having sex?
Q. I still live at home and my parents are in their 60's. I keep hearing them having sex and it's getting quite annoying and loud. Do you think I should say anything to them?...
A. 2 April 2011: I'm sorry but if it their home, its really rather out of line to tell them. I dont think anyone would feel too comfortable with that conversation. As suggested, why not use a noise cancelling headset, or get a white noise machine? ... (read in full...)
The constant emotional abuse from my parents has led me to project their negativity against my B/f into my relationship, which I'v now almost ruined. How can I repair the damage?
Q. Hi all, I've been with my boyfriend for nine years now and over that time, I've become increasingly frustrated with the fact we haven't moved in together in all these years. I'm in my mid-late twenties and still live at home with my parents....
A. 29 March 2011: I think that there are many of us out here who can relate to your situation. After years of hearing things stated to you time and time again, its difficult to not let some of it seep through. My parents were/are basically good people. They raised my ... (read in full...)
Should I stay with a great guy in a LDR or look closer to home?
Q. I met a great guy while working in another city for 3 months and we started a relationship which we continued long distance for the past 6 months. He's wonderful, nothing wrong with him, and I love him but I feel I don't want to be in a LDR. I ...
A. 29 March 2011: I think you've already answered your question, haven't you? Maybe you would just like a little reassurance, so perhaps I can help. Long distance relationships are VERY difficult. Not impossible..but definitely more frustrating, and not for the type ... (read in full...)
No reply. No response? Is this his way of just saying goodbye?
Q. I was seeing this guy for one month and things were great. He honestly seemed too good to be true. He was so nice to me and I was very guarded because i have been hurt in the past. He promised not to hurt me and is about 4 years older than me. Ever...
A. 28 March 2011: It appears that whatever you told him upset him more than he let on. Its a shame that he couldn't talk to you about it, but at this point I don't think you're going to hear from him again. He's had several opportunities to respond, and hasn't done ... (read in full...)
Confessing to cheating..ONLY experiences from cheaters or cheated-ons.
Q. Hello, As the title says, I would like to know FACTS from people who’ve been through this. I’m not working on a survey or something, but yes, I've cheated on my gf (a fling without intercourse and no feelings) and I'm living hell right now (guilt...
A. 25 March 2011: I was cheated on. 1. He told me, he had sex with my best friend. I was devastated, it was my 1st intimate relationship. I forgave him, then 3 months later he cheated on me with his ex girlfriend. 2. I'm glad he told me because it made me see w... (read in full...)
My problem is his pregnant partner. Is there a chance he will just love me and leave me?
Q. Am girl who is 21 years of age,there is this guy I just met and I love him and I do want to have sex with him, but my problem is his pregnant partner. What if he loves her more than he loves me? What if he just want to have sexual relations with me ...
A. 25 March 2011: Please put your emotions aside and try to look at this from a logical point of view. If you could see into the future, you would know that the odds are slim of him leaving her for you and staying with you. Men like him are the "love 'em and leave ... (read in full...)
He wants to still be friends! Will this pain stop?
Q. My ex broke off with me last year and even after the break, we still maintained contact. On my part of course I am partly to blame for allowing him to call. It was very difficult for me, as that break meant that my dream of spending the rest of our ...
A. 19 March 2011: What you are going through is very very difficult. I wouldn't recommend staying friends if you still love him. No contact really is the best way. As much as it hurts, I think you are doing the right thing by letting things end. Its like having a ... (read in full...)
This is gonna sound bad but I want to cheat on my girlfriend..
Q. Hey everyone This is gonna sound bad but I want to cheat on my girlfriend Now before people start getting up on there high horses and accuse me of being a troll and an ass and so on hear me out... About 6 months ago my gf cheated on me an...
A. 19 March 2011: Anyone who has ever been in love and been cheated on can certainly understand and sympathize with you. But I ask you this...if you cheat on her is it REALLY going to make you feel better? Be honest with yourself. The odds are it won't. Why not be ... (read in full...)
She is so desperate for marriage it is freaking me out, I bought the ring but she wont stop pushing me and let me propose!
Q. My girlfriend of almost 3 years has been divorced twice (once was really young and it was a dumb mistake). We met online through dating service. She has 2 kids. The father is out of the picture completely. I have never been married and have no kids ...
A. 17 March 2011: Never never go into a marriage when you feel pressured! This is one of the worst things that you can do. You need to step back and really search your heart for what you feel for her. She does sound very desperate for whatever reasons, and I can ... (read in full...)
Promise rings......
Q. What are some things I should know about giving a woman a promisory ring? What does it mean on both sides?...
A. 16 March 2011: This article should help you out here...http://honeymoons.about.com/od/onlineshopping/f/promise_rings.htm
Basically my understanding is a promise ring means that 2 people are in a monogamous relationship and are pledging to be faithful to one anot... (read in full...)
Would you rather be single, or with someone you don't know is lying to you about having cheated on you?
Q. Is it better to be alone or in a relationship with someone who has betrayed you in the past by cheating, and who continues to lie about having been faithful and committed throughout the relationship? Is it true that what you don't know, can't really ...
A. 15 March 2011: I'd rather be single. And looking at it from another point of view....what you dont know CAN hurt you! What if your partner catches a sexual disease? Or the HIV virus?? Of course its better to know than to walk around with rose colored glasses on. I ... (read in full...)
After 4 years I finally met my LD girlfriend. Is it normal to feel weird?
Q. I've finally met my long distance girlfriend after 4 years of talking online and on the phone. We met online 4 years ago and despite the distance we have developed a passionate strong loving relationship and even planned on getting married. ...
A. 12 March 2011: 4 years of LD with no meeting is an incredibly long time. I've actually never known anyone to go that long before meeting, so I can only go based on my own experience.
I met someone after talking and emailing for almost a year. Its so easy to ... (read in full...)
Wife slept with another man with my permission but now I'm finding it hard to deal with.
Q. My wife and I have been married for five years and love each other very much. We've been very honest in our relationship and have always shared our fantasies and flirtations with other people. She has always had a desire of sleeping with another ...
A. 12 March 2011: This is sad. Rarely do these kinds of situations ever work out. Its only natural to feel hurt, jealous and left out. Sadly, the damage has already been done, and you can't go back. But you can (and MUST) go forward. The smartest thing to do is sit ... (read in full...)
My partner is abusive so I am going to cheat on him!
Q. Is it justified for me to cheat if my partner is abusive to me? I shouldn't say justified, but rather is it a good reason. I know I should just leave him, but i don't know how at this point. He hits me and threatens me and verbally abuses me. ...
A. 11 March 2011: If he's abusive to you now, what do you think he'll do if he finds out you are cheating? Have you thought about that? I implore you to leave him, before he hurts you so badly that you can't leave. Cheating should be the last thing you are ... (read in full...)
Can you access facebook if you are incarcerated?
Q. Ok I got a question for you...can you comment and access your facebook account if you are incarcerated??? I am confused because I have a friend who told me he is in jail (in new jersey if that helps) and he is commenting on posts on his facebook ...
A. 5 March 2011: My daughter works in a county jail, and she said she's never heard of such a thing.. I realize every place is different, but I think your friend is pulling your leg.... (read in full...)
First love stories...how did you meet?
Q. How did you meet your first love and how? or if your married how did you find each other?...
A. 26 February 2011: I was 17, and was working at McDonald's to put myself through college. My best friend was working there too, and knew his brother. He walked in one day, and the sparks flew. We dated for a year, he cheated on me with my best friend (Yeah..go figure) ... (read in full...)
I cant see a way out of this fog so would really appreciate if someone, somewhere can pull me out of it!
Q. Hello Cupids :) This is complicated so thank you in advance to those who get to the end! I've been with my boyfriend just over a year now, I am 24, he is 31 and I really should feel lucky to be with him, but instead I am ruining this relationshi...
A. 24 February 2011: I really do understand where you are coming from, I've been there. Once someone hurts you and cheats on you, then unless you are made of stone, you worry about it happening to you again in the next relationship. When you are afraid of someone ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend doesn't care about me either way. why?
Q. I cheated on my girlfriend with my ex two years ago and she took it hard. It was a bad move because once I started going out with my ex again I realized that it was my girlfriend that I loved and not her. So i went bck to my girlfriend but she ...
A. 23 February 2011: Just because you cheated doesn't mean that she is cheating on you. When a person is hurt very deeply, sometimes that hurt doesn't go away, and the mind has a way of shutting down, turning off all emotions. Perhaps that is what has happened to her. ... (read in full...)
My guy is making me seriously ill...
Q. My guy is making me seriously ill... Ok so i met these guy on fb(i knoww) when i was 17... i have very controlling parents so i was always a straight A's student, didnt drink, rarely went out.. now im 18 and he's 22.. he is the typical "bad boy...
A. 20 February 2011: Sweetie, it has nothing to do with you not being good enough for him. In all honesty, he's not good enough for you. This is a bad relationship, he is a controlling person, and it makes him feel good to put you down. You must realize this. I know its ... (read in full...)
My daughter broke up with the one I thought was "the one" and I can't get past it
Q. Not sure why I feel this way but something is obviously wrong. My daughter dated this boy for two years. I definately thought he was "the one". She broke it off with him suddenly and he was devastated. I did everything to try to get them back ...
A. 16 February 2011: I hate to sound like a broken record, but I'm going to have to chime in with everyone else. As a parent, we see people that would be great for our children but we cannot dictate whom are children date. I learned early in the game to keep my mouth ... (read in full...)
How can I stay strong and not fall back when he sobers up and wants me again?
Q. Any advice welcome. I have been seeing a man for a year now and it has been one heck of a ride. Love is not the question here, we are both very much in love. Except the man I get to spend time is only on this planet about 50% of the time because ...
A. 14 February 2011: Loving an alcoholic makes your life extremely chaotic, frustrating and sad. No one can possibly understand unless they have been there. My ex husband is an alcoholic. I always likened him to Dr. Jeckell/Mr. Hyde. It was inconceivable to me how a ... (read in full...)
We had unprotected sex three times and now she's scared she's pregnant
Q. My girlfriend started dating about 3 weeks ago. We had unprotected sex 3 times within a couple days of when we started dating. She also is not on birth control or anything. Last weekend she asked me to give her space cuz she is scared about being ...
A. 14 February 2011: I don't want to bash you, because you do sound confused and concerned about your girlfriend, but I do agree with the walking dude, you truly don't sound as old as what you state. But in any case, let me just say this..and this is in no way meant to ... (read in full...)
3 years after husband walks out, I still grieve, when does it stop?
Q. Hi, I was with supposedly the "love of my life" for 32 years. In 2008, I found out he was having an affair. He left my son and I for 2 months, and then returned, stayed for 3 months, kept seeing the other person and then left again. I have not seen ...
A. 31 January 2011: I am so sorry for the pain that you have experienced and are still experiencing. Divorce is a horrible, horrible thing to go through. I have been there. Basically it is a death. Your husband was unfaithful so that makes things all the worse, and ... (read in full...)
I hit my girlfriend, is it my fault or hers?
Q. im 15 ma girlfriends 14 were in the same year but im not proud of what i did but i need some advice me and my girlfriend were arguing after something that happened at school i kinda said she was flirting with my bestmate because she was hugging him ...
A. 29 January 2011: Yes, it is your fault and since you're on here asking you already know you did something wrong. You have a conscious, so thats good. Its never alright to hit someone, especially not a woman, or a child. They are weaker under most circumstances and ... (read in full...)
I gave him a party for his 50th... he gave me a card for mine and I'm so hurt!
Q. I gave my husband a party for his 50th birthday, he handed me a card for mine, I am hurt (we can afford a party)and I can't get over it, help? ...
A. 21 January 2011: I doubt very seriously that your husband meant to hurt you. Men just don't think along the same lines as us ladies, and special days don't have the same meaning to them as they do to us. Come on..haven't you even been in a grocery store on ... (read in full...)
I'm lying to both men in my life, they have no idea about each other!
Q. PLease no one judge me, I know what I'm about to reveal is horrible. I know it and I hate myself. That being said, I couldn't help falling in love with the man I'm seeing on the side. I am married and have a child. The ONLY reason I haven't gotten a ...
A. 21 January 2011: I could be wrong, but I agree very strongly with the poster who said that if the other man finds out you are married he will run. Seriously. No one likes to be lied to, or to made into a fool. At the moment, whether you want to or not, you are ... (read in full...)
Teen mom?
Q. im in a 2 years relationship and we r great with my boyfriend...im graduating this year and we r planning to try for a baby:) whats the difficulitties of being ateen mom?...
A. 21 January 2011: I've been there, done that, and I would NOT recommend it.
I got married at 19, had a baby shortly afterwards. Most young women are just not prepared for the changes that having a baby involves. PICTURE THIS: Friday night--your friends want to ... (read in full...)
I'm lying to both men in my life, they have no idea about each other!
Q. PLease no one judge me, I know what I'm about to reveal is horrible. I know it and I hate myself. That being said, I couldn't help falling in love with the man I'm seeing on the side. I am married and have a child. The ONLY reason I haven't gotten a ...
A. 21 January 2011: You are not the only person in the world leading a double life. You asked not be judged, so I won't. BUT...surely you do realize what your secret life is doing to you, right? There is no way that you will be able to continue this forever. Something ... (read in full...)
How do I stop myself from regretting losing my virginity after its done?
Q. So i've met this guy. it was through a friend of a friend and we met only briefly but i have him as a friend on facebook. So we began talking and the conversation quickly became sexual. We swapped numbers and have continued this to and fro-ing of ...
A. 18 January 2011: You have received some very good advice, please consider it carefully. If you're worried about losing your virginity and the consequences, then plain and simple..don't do it..at least not at this point, in this situation. For some people, losing ... (read in full...)
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