Like what
she writes?
... Add *ystiquek to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *ystiquek a private message | | | *ystiquek's profile:
People are like stained - glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
I've been on DC since 2007. I have seen just about everything you can imagine on here. I am a "softer" responder. I try to always give good advice with kindness. I genuinely want to help people and never want to hurt someone by the words I type since most people that come to DC are already hurting in some way.
|
|
Is this too good to be true?
Q. I have been dating a man for about a month, he told me that we was falling for me almost immediatly. We seem to share the same world view, he tells me he's been looking for his mate for two years. He is divorced since 2001. He has opened up his ...
A. 10 March 2010: If you are feeling maybe its too good to be true, then maybe it is. There's no way to truly know someone after just a month. Take your time! If he's genuine, you'll know, and if he's not..well..you'll find that out too. But thinking of marriage ... (read in full...)
Should I continue to allow him to be sexual with other women?
Q. I have been with my husband for 5years now. Married for less than one year. I have allowed my husband to have a threesome..should I allow him to continue to be sexual with other women? ...
A. 10 March 2010: I don't think you should be asking total strangers this type of question. This is something that you have to search your heart for. Can you deal with it? Do you want to deal with it? We don't know what your marriage is like, or what you or your ... (read in full...)
My question is, all things considered, is this relationship even worth trying to save?
Q. I'm so confused on what to do anymore. Over a year ago, I found pictures of my boyfriends ex hidden on our computer. Provocative pictures. This was after 3 years of being lied to on and off about her. I flipped out, we fought a lot, and after a few ...
A. 9 March 2010: Honestly? No, it doesn't sound like its worth the effort, especially since its all one sided. Why waste your time? It takes two to make a relationship work, and he just doesn't seem to care either way. Sounds like its time to move on babes. Its ... (read in full...)
He cheated...it drives me crazy...completely crazy...
Q. By bf and I just turned one year last Feb. And last Friday I found out that a month right after we got together, he had sex with a girl from our work (it's a restaurant franchise). I don't work there anymore, but I knew the girl he had sex with. My ...
A. 9 March 2010: You knew he was "a bad boy", and now he's just shown that he's went back to his old ways. If you really love him, you can forgive him, but the pain of what he has done will be with you for a VERY long time. Plus you have to remember the expression ... (read in full...)
She won't tell anyone about our relationship until it improves. But it can't improve because I am unhappy she won't tell anyone!
Q. OK, me and my girlfriend been dating for 3 years. The only thing is that no one, not her friends or parents know we are dating. Thats the way she wants it. This situation makes me unhappy and we end up argueing over it. The arguments make h...
A. 6 March 2010: What are her reasons for not telling anyone? Has she ever explained it to you? Is she afraid her parents won't like you, won't approve? This is just plain weird. If she was proud of you, I would think she'd want to show you off. I don't understand ... (read in full...)
Is it right for us to settle down or should we wait?
Q. i am with this boy for five years and we are planning to get married and have a baby...do you think that its right for us to settle down????? or do you think we should wait...
A. 3 March 2010: No one can answer that but you. If you are having doubts or concerns, then I certainly wouldn't recommend getting married just yet. The odds are NOT in favor of someone your age having a marriage that lasts, but that doesn't mean you can't make ... (read in full...)
Competing with alcohol!
Q. I love my wife very much. But she drinks so much she was put in a cardiac care unit six months ago. The doctors said she had almost depleted her body of iron and her blood count was six. Yes that's right six. I was shocked as well as the doctor who ...
A. 26 February 2010: I'm living with an alcoholic. Its a horrible sad, destructive life that they lead. And honestly? Unless they want help, there isn't much you can do, becuase they will lie, cheat, steal, do whatever they have to do to get that drink. My ex was put in ... (read in full...)
I keep upsetting my work colleagues.
Q. Hello.l I am a female office worker who just cannot seem to get on with her colleagues mostly when it comes to interpersonal relationships at work, although I still socialise with them outside work sometimes. Don;t get me wrong, I have lots of ...
A. 26 February 2010: Yes, it does sound as though counselling might be a good idea. Sounds like your pent up frustration is bubbling over into work and obviously people are picking up on it. Since its job related, perhaphs there is something through the job you can go ... (read in full...)
Am I doing the wrong thing trying to change sexualities?
Q. I am really confused. I left my husband 3 months ago because he was abusing me...he was hitting me.....anyways right after that i spent a very short time with a loser who only wanted to use me for sex and obviously that didn't work out either.....so ...
A. 25 February 2010: You are confused and jumping from one relationship to another one isn't going to help. I think you need to just be by yourself for awhile to figure out what it is that you TRULY want. Don't try to categorize yourself at the moment. Its ... (read in full...)
Is that weird that I want to try anal sex?
Q. okay, this one is a bit different, I want a woman's opinion. As I said before, I'm 17 years old and a virgin and I don't plan on having sex untill I'm married. But I've always wanted to try anal with who my future wife will be, but I don't want to ...
A. 25 February 2010: Its not weird, but just keep in mind the majority of women don't want to try it, won't like it, and it will hurt them very much. Lets just say its not for everyone.... (read in full...)
Should I go out with my ex boyfriend who lied to me about having cancer and is a lier?
Q. Let me say the basic im a 15 year old girl when i was 14 i went out with an 18 year old he was a sweet heart nice,sweet,kind and all other good stuff one bad thing about him is that he lies alot about things that are important like him having brain ...
A. 25 February 2010: Why on earth would you go out with him? You will never be able to trust him. No, don't go out with him again. What he lied about was HORRIBLE! Drop him. He'll cause you nothing but pain if you continue to see him. The first time things don't go ... (read in full...)
Sould I stop talking to this married man for good?
Q. Hey, I need your help. Please don't be so mean against me when you read my story, because we all make bad choices and I never planned on being with a married man nor do,I want to break up anyone's marriage. So, here's the story. Some years bac...
A. 25 February 2010: Yes, you should stop talking to him and try to forget you ever knew him. A married man who cheats on his wife will say ANYTHING to get you to sleep with him. Don't believe any of his lies. In the end, no matter what he says, he'll still be going ... (read in full...)
Will the tearing of restored hymen hurt?
Q. I am sexually active for 1 year with my ex-bf. I told my current bf that I am a virgin and I gone through the hymen restoration surgery 3 months ago. We plan to have sex next week after a party and I worry he will hurt very bad like my first time. ...
A. 24 February 2010: Why don't you ask the doctor not us? And why go to such lengths to deceive someone? Are you that ashamed? I can't believe someone would actually go to that much trouble. And just guessing yes..I would imagine it will hurt. ... (read in full...)
Should I leave my husband so I can be happy with the friend I have been in love with for years, or stay in order to keep my family together?
Q. my husband of 4 yrs had an affair with my little sister but i really do love him and we have 3 beautiful kids.On the other hand my best friend of 5 yrs told me hes tired of watching me hurt and he has always loved me just too scared that if he told ...
A. 24 February 2010: Kids or not, I could never stay with a man who had an affair with my sister! That's just wrong on so many levels! LEAVE!... (read in full...)
Please help me before I do something I regret! I'm sure he has cheated and it is driving me crazy!
Q. I have been married for about 2 years now,everything has been going very well.We loved each other like crazy,beginning of this year 2010.I started noticing my husband started to act very strange e.g when we are going to bed he will switch of his ...
A. 24 February 2010: If you are so angry that you want to kill him, then you shouldn't be around him at all. I understand that you are hurt, upset and confused, but trying to kill someone is NOT the answer. I suggest that you get some counselling and anger management ... (read in full...)
The man I had an affair with has called me 8 months after it ended, should I call him back?
Q. I need help! the guy i was having an affair wtih for the pass 3 years called me last night. We haven't spoken in almost 8 months. I don't know if I should call him back! What to do what to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...
A. 23 February 2010: If its been 8 months, and you've made it that far without him, then you can continue to make it without him. I wouldn't call him back, just ignore the call. It certainly can't be a good thing to get things all started up again. You've proven that ... (read in full...)
Would it be appropriate to introduce him to some of my friends?
Q. I am in my mid thirties and dating again after divorce. A little on the rusty side when it comes to dating so hope you can help? I am in the early part of a new relationship with a great guy. We have just started spending the night at each others ...
A. 22 February 2010: Best way around that one is to say "This is my FRIEND..." that way you aren't pushing into anything and if wants to change it, he will. I wouldn't assume exclusive until you two talk about it. You are right, guys don't like to be pushed into ... (read in full...)
I'm 9 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend wants me to have an abortion, I don't know what to do for the best
Q. I am a 25 year old women with 4 kids and I am 9 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend of 3 years wants me to terminate my pregnancy but he also told me its my body and whatever my decision is he will support me no matter what and he will stay with me. we ...
A. 22 February 2010: Right now you are confused and frightened, so its hard to think clearly. But try to think AHEAD..what will you feel like in a year? 5 years from now about this pregnancy? What can YOU live with (or without)?? It will be very hard raising 5 children, ... (read in full...)
Lost my virginity and I just wanna cry...
Q. im 16 and i lost my virginity few days ago, i knew the guy who i done it with wasnt my boyfriend, but since he hasnt spoke to me, i know i was just a bootycall or whatever but now i feel like crapp, i jus wanna cry, i just dunnooooooo :(...
A. 21 February 2010: Sadly, there isn't anything you or any of us can do. All you can do is accept what happened, and move on. I'm sorry for the pain that you feel. I hope that you used protection so that you don't need to worry about other things besides the loss of ... (read in full...)
I'm almost 40 and want another baby..when does menopause start?
Q. problem. im 39 and soon will be 40. im dying to have a baby again. my youngest child is 13. im capable and got enough income to provide for a new baby. the problem is im scared. does anybody here can give me advice. i dont know if im still capable ...
A. 21 February 2010: sweetie, instead of being scared, why don't you go see your ob/gyn doctor? Every woman is different, none of us can answer your question specifically. Menopause can start as early as mid 30's for some, as late as 60 for others, its just too varied ... (read in full...)
I feel I don't have friends anymore
Q. Hi, I'm 28 and I just realised that I don't really have any friends anymore. I have lived in my hometown all my life and had loads of great friends there. One best friend in particular, moved 200 miles away and he was like a brother to me. H...
A. 20 February 2010: Have you tried joining any clubs? What are your hobbies? Interests? Look for groups/clubs that offer classes like this...OR..try something new! Are there any groups at the college that you could try? Don't give up! Go online in your area, or check ... (read in full...)
Does it matter if a guy is shorter than a girl?
Q. Just a quick question for the ladies especially. Would you be put off a guy if he was smaller than you, height-wise? There is a girl in my class at school, who i get on with really well, talk a lot, and sometimes have a bit of a flirt, but inam ...
A. 20 February 2010: This is one of those questions that it depends on the girl, and the guy. If the guy is confident, and the girl doesn't mind, then no problem. I'd like to say that most girls wouldn't care, but I know from my friends that isn't true..some ... (read in full...)
I got drunk and made out with another guy, and now feel guilty
Q. Ive been dating my boyfriend for 6 months now. Right now were doing long distance and i see him every month and a half or so. i was basically with him all the time for the first month, then left for uni, came back and had a solid month with him, we ...
A. 20 February 2010: What if he finds out from someone else? How would you feel if he did this to you? Being drunk is just an excuse for cheating, it doesn't make it right. Fess up and be accountable. Let the chips fall where they may. You owe it to the guy to tell him, ... (read in full...)
He tells me about his beautiful girlfriend but never talks about his wife, could he be interested in me?
Q. I just want to know whether this married man loves me or not.. We've been good friends for sometime now.. we have shared almost everything.. he had a child few months back .. we both like each other.. more than friends.. to be frank i look good ...
A. 20 February 2010: Why do you want to be involved with a man who has a wife, a kid and a girlfriend?? Do you just like the drama? RUN AWAY! Who cares if he likes you? This guy will cause you nothing but heartache!... (read in full...)
He rushed into an engagement, rushed into a mortgage now he is having second thoughts
Q. I apologize if this will be long, but there's alot to say here.... Recently, my fiance (who I've been with for 5 years and have been engaged to for almost a year next month) asked me if we were rushing things. I asked why he thought that, an...
A. 20 February 2010: Sounds like he's got cold feet. Hardest thing but the best thing to do is to give him space. He really needs to figure out what he wants, and you can't do it for him. This is really going to hurt you, but its better that he figure it out rather than ... (read in full...)
I read my boyfriends texts and now my world has come crashing down
Q. I've been going out with my boyfriend now for neally 6 months, and I've trusted him untill now. Yesterday I was bored and I know it was wrong of me but I had the urge to see his texts. In saved messages I saw a text saying 'well you can see...
A. 20 February 2010: First of all, take a deep breath and CALM DOWN. Rememeber how the word assume looks split up? Ass u me? Don't assume! At this point, the text could mean anything. At least give your guy the benefit of the doubt until you know for sure what is going ... (read in full...)
I told him I loved him, now he says we are not a couple
Q. i was seeing this guy for a couple of weeks. He came to my house feeling no pain and told me 3 times that he loved me. I really paid no attention to it since he was out and had a couple of drinks; ok, alot of drinks. We did continue to hang out that ...
A. 19 February 2010: I'd venture he's freaked out that you said the L word after only a few weeks and can't/won't handle it so he's acting all skittish. Sometimes guys are like that. I'd take Angzw's advice and play it off like you were drunk and wondered if you said ... (read in full...)
Why is he here with me when he has openly admitted he still loves his high-school sweetheart?
Q. Little back ground on us... My husband and I met on-line in spring 2005. We had a long distant relationship for a very short while before he asked me to move to Maine from Ohio to be with him, so I did... what did I have to lose right? I was single, ...
A. 18 February 2010: Oh sweetie..I'm so sorry. I almost cried when I read your post. I'm sending you a *HUG*. You are right, you are being far more understanding than most wives would be! You're not stupid, please don't think that about yourself. When we are in love, we ... (read in full...)
Is a body fat percentage of 11% a turn off for guys?
Q. Am i too thin or muscly and does this turn guys on or off? Im 5 foot 3 inches, have a bmi of 20 but my body fat is really low at 11%. I am quite muscly because I dance and climb a lot, but is having so little body fat a turn off to guys? Also, do ...
A. 18 February 2010: Men come in all different shapes and sizes just like we girls, so there's something out there for everyone! Some guys will like your figure, some won't..but you can't generalize because they all have their own tastes and desires. Some guys would be ... (read in full...)
Could I be pregnant or have caught an STD?
Q. If I had unprotected sex but he didn't not produce inside me, is it possible that I can get pregnant or get an std?...
A. 18 February 2010: Yes to both questions. Having unprotected sex is a very foolish and dangerous game. Be smart and ALWAYS use protection. Its not worth what may happen if you don't!... (read in full...)
My LDR has changes and I think he doesn't love me anymore
Q. i am extremely disappointed with my bf.we r in a comitted relationship and yeah its a ldr.its now 7.5 months.i am upset because he watches a lot of porn movies which irritates me.and if i say i don't like it he says so what,its so normal.this breaks ...
A. 18 February 2010: Oh dearling..you are so very young to be in a LDR! They are sooo difficult to maintain..I know, I'm in my 40's and have been in them. As for your boyfriend, if he's close to your age, then he's young, probably immature, and probably cannot handle ... (read in full...)
I think he doesn't want me because I am not pretty enough
Q. I think he doesnt want me to be his gf bcz i m not pretty enough! dont i deserve to be loved too? i cry every morning once i wake, i cry to sleep every night. i know i sound foolish but i feel extremely down. fine, i m ugly but dont i deserve t...
A. 18 February 2010: I realize that what I am going to say may not be what you want to hear, but I believe its what you need to hear. There is sooo much more to a person than what they look like. A man who is interested in you only for you looks isn't a man that you ... (read in full...)
Should you marry a guy who is not your type?
Q. Should you marry guy if he is not really your type and he is trying to be who you want to be with?...
A. 18 February 2010: No, you should not. He shouldn't be trying to be someone or something that he isn't. You either love him as he is, or you don't. There really isn't any grey area there. In the end, you'll both wind up miserable. ... (read in full...)
My gay best friend proposed to me! And I want to accept!
Q. My gay best friend just asked me to marry him.... SOBER!! Now, he's a gay man who everyone thinks is straight or bisexual and he can play it straight very well! SoO straight, that he is enlisted in the US Armed Forces! I love him with all my heart...
A. 18 February 2010: Go with your instincts, it isn't fair to either him or you. Being married to him, it would only be a matter of time before he would have the urges to want to be with men again. As much as he may care for you, I doubt if if could stop being what he ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend can't perform in bed as good as he thinks he can.
Q. I just started having sex very recently.My Boyfriend and I have had sex a couple times and everytime it was bad. I cheated on him with a friend who I asked to teach me how to ride and perform fellatio and some other basic positions and the sex was ...
A. 17 February 2010: I realize that you're unhappy about your boyfriend's poor sexual performance, but cheating on him doesn't make it right. Do the guy a favor, and end it with him. Its the right thing to do. If you really loved him, why would you cheat? Obviously you ... (read in full...)
Am I just fooling myself trying to believe that he is not cheating?
Q. I have been married for 5 years. Husband is from a different counrty and speaks excellent english. We have had a great relationship I thought. I have been back and forth from the US to his country and last year when i returned to his country, I ...
A. 17 February 2010: Its one thing to love and trust your mate, but its another thing to close your eyes and pretend you don't see....the signs are there, and as the expression goes "When there is smoke, there is fire". I'd say its highly likely he's cheating. I agree ... (read in full...)
It hurts knowing she doesn't feel the same way anymore and probably never will again. What should I do?
Q. There's this girl that I've had a crush on for a long time. She knows I like her (and basically all our mutual friends), and for a brief time she liked me (I wasn't aware of this until it was too late) but I was too nervous to ask her out. She's one ...
A. 17 February 2010: Like Caringguy says, you can either sit back in agony never knowing, or you can be bold and brave, tell her of your feelings. You have a 50/50 chance right? And sometimes in life you have to be willing to take a chance to get what you want. The ... (read in full...)
He said I'm loose but I've NEVER had sex with anyone else! How can this be?
Q. okay so last night me and my boyfriend we just laying there cuddling and talking and he told me i was loose..... and he was serious... he said its the most noticeable when hes on top which is one of my favourite positions.... hes the only guy ive ...
A. 14 February 2010: Sweetie, your boyfriend is being cruel and disrespectful to you. He doesn't have a clue. Do not allow yourself to be treated in such a manner. Just because he has sex does not make him a man, or an expert on sex. Quite frankly, you would be much ... (read in full...)
How do I forgive myself for being so foolish????
Q. Hi I wonder if anyone can help me, last year I admitted to my husband I had made such a mess of our personal finances we had less money that he thought we had and I was in a terrible state. He told me he would never trust me again and that he ...
A. 14 February 2010: Caringguy gave you excellent advice. Please do seek out counselling, for you and your husband would be great, if he'll go, but at least go for yourself. It does sound like you could be depressed. You know, most of us would give our right arm for our ... (read in full...)
I don't know why I am married but I don't know how to walk away!
Q. I have been married nearly 10 years and have two children, one 9 months after my wedding day! I have tried to keep the marraige together time after time. I know he loves me it is just we have nothing in common. He is as romantic as a brick and ...
A. 14 February 2010: Oh sweetie..I feel for you, I truly do. I have been where you are, and its not a good feeling, or a pretty picture. You need to find the strength inside you (its there..I promise!) And end the marriage before it saps away everything that you ever ... (read in full...)
How can I stop cheating on partners?
Q. Hey everyone.....Im 16 years old and I have this problem. My problem is that with every boyfriend I had, i've cheated on. I can never have a boyfriend and not cheat on him. Its something that i hate doing and I know its wrong but I cant help ...
A. 13 February 2010: I don't think there's anything wrong with you, sweetie. You're young, and need to be free to explore what kind of a guy you really like. When you get committed at a young age, you really can miss out on alot, then suddenly you're older and realize ... (read in full...)
| *ystiquek's friends
These are mutual friends, so *ystiquek has
added them and they have added *ystiquek!
|
