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*ylerSage agony aunt


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My new job demands much more of my time! Any advice?

Q.   Three weeks ago I started a job in my career path that I’ve been praying for for a long time now. Great location for me, benefits, union, pay is good, the whole nine yards. I feel so overwhelming blessed for me and my family. The only downside to ...

A.   29 December 2018: You need to actively start managing your time better. Outside of your working hours start scheduling meets up and arrangements with friends and family. It doesn't need to be anything demanding. It could be a movie, a dinner at your house, a picnic ... (read in full...)

I went out of my way to make my friend feel special on his birthday but he didn't do anything for me on mine

Q.   It’s really bugging me that I spent my birthday alone. When my best friend has his birthday, I planned dinner, made sure all his friends were there. I personally took them, paid for him etc. We had a great time. Recently it was my bir...

A.   22 October 2018: It's clear you're a very considerate person. The average man doesn't go out of their way for others usually because they care mostly about themselves at any given time. The main problem here is the fact that you believed that your good deed wou... (read in full...)

My will be joining another couple for a threesome

Q.   So let me start by saying my wife and I have been married for 8 years an are blessed/ deeply in love. So last night we had a couple over for cocktails, I was at work when they arrived and when I got there my wife was already buzzed and was acting v...

A.   26 August 2018: Your wife sounds incredibly disrespectful. Something like this should be thoroughly discussed before any further steps are made, not a by-the-way I'll be screwing another man next week because it seems "fun" statement. This also comes down ... (read in full...)

Is it wrong to cut ties with former friends who let me down?

Q.   Two years ago I worked for a small company of approx 60 people and my colleagues were like family. We worked together, socialised together-it was very tight knit. Then unfortunately one of our clients gave us a project that went wrong. One of my...

A.   7 August 2018: The truth is, no one can live up to the standards we want in our lives. No one person, will always say just the right thing, or do that thing that makes your heart melt or respond to us the way we need them too. These are our own fantasies, our d... (read in full...)

I saw my boss on a dating app... and swiped yes! OMG!

Q.   Shit I didn't realise it was her until after I swiped Yes. Normally at work my boss is this conservative lady with thick glasses but she was this totally hot chick on this dating app. I mean I have never seen her even wearing a sleeveless top in the ...

A.   2 August 2018: You're willing to up and leave your job over something as simple and quite humerous as this? You're human, she's human. You both have needs as well as a sexual side. They only thing you may have to worry about is the awkwardness this can bring i... (read in full...)

Can I call her my close friend if she forgot I had skin cancer?

Q.   I was diagnosed with a cancerous mole a few months ago and had it removed. It was a simple procedure and I am very glad I caught it early, therefore I wasn't too shaken up by it. I had only told a few of my close friends that I had skin cancer. ...

A.   24 July 2018: You did mention that two of you were both drunk on a beach together, so the fact that she was under the influence of alcohol is an important factor to focus on. Who remembers anything when they're drunk? Yes, it is odd that the your best friend... (read in full...)

Everyone tells us moving in together after 2 months of dating is too soon!

Q.   What's the consensus for knowing when you're ready to move in with someone? My boyfriend and I have only been dating for a little over 2 months, but we see each other every day (we work at the same company), spend hours/weekends at a time togeth...

A.   16 July 2018: Your letter sounds like you're trying your absolute best to convince us as well as yourself that this is a good idea. I'm sensing a degree of uncertainty from the energy in your words. If you're so certain within yourself why even bother coming to ... (read in full...)

After years of neglect, my teeth need dental care! Is this how I go about it?

Q.   Hi guys... I think this is more for support as well as advice. I've been on before about this topic but a new angle this time. So I've now got a boyfriend and one major issue I had was I hate my teeth. It's because of years of neglect ...

A.   14 July 2018: If you're able to enter a relationship with your bad teeth and still kiss and converse and smile with your boyfriend for a year, heading to the dentist to have them remark at how bad they really are should be a breeze. It's clear you're insecure ... (read in full...)

Is my way of orgasming normal? And was it normal to start so young?

Q.   When i was 8 years old, I've literally been having an orgasm and i didn't even knew what orgasm is. I would get it when ever i squeeze my legs together, and i would feel pleasure and relaxed feeling, i also feel pressure down there when i do it. ...

A.   13 July 2018: It's possible. Stimulation of the genitals as a child can lead to pleasure just like an adult, but the child isn't aware of this until some accidental rubbing takes place and even then they probably won't know what it is. It's not until around ... (read in full...)

Why couldn’t he understand that I needed his emotional support that day?

Q.   Monday was a sad day for me. I lost my job and broke up with my boyfriend of 4 yrs. Although I'm not too worried about being able to find another job, it still is not a happy event to be let go... I called my boyfriend and he sounded shocked ...

A.   13 July 2018: I think you just got caught up in your emotions. You were having a bad day and just needed some love and attention, someone to talk to, someone to comfort you, someone to vent with you, someone to tell you that everything is going to be OK. Your... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is nasty when we argue. Does he not care?

Q.   My boyfriend is loving and caring but when we argue he likes to name call, being nasty and defensive, as if trying to hurt me back for upsetting him (however unintentionally). I KNOW this is not the ideal conflict resolution scenario. I'm just ...

A.   3 July 2018: I think your intuition is the best entity available for answering this question. You've highlighted the angelic and demonic sides of this boyfriend of yours and something inside you has lead to questioning if he sincerely cares about you. Pers... (read in full...)

What if they award the golf match to him?

Q.   It never ceases to amaze me how rude and arrogant some people can be... I have to play a match in a golf tournament.The match has to be played by July 29th (4 weeks time). I had agreed to play it on July 1st, but 2 days prior I had a personal s...

A.   1 July 2018: Regardless of your reasoning, you didn't show up on the assigned match date, so by default the other man wins. He's not obligated to reschedule, if anything you might beat him and that could easily mess up his chances of winning the tourname... (read in full...)

I basically have Chandler Bing's personality! How do I change?

Q.   Dear Aunts, I realized that I have a flaw in my personality which is that I enjoy putting others down/make fun of them. I always did it thinking that the person wouldn't mind, would take it lightly and laugh at it. I told myself that it was just...

A.   28 June 2018: Seeing that you are already aware of the low esteem factors involved I recommend you gather all your friends and tell them what you just told us. Let them know that you are having a problem and that you're having a hard time stopping. This way your ... (read in full...)

My crushes never last long. Is this a sign of commitment issues?

Q.   I keep having this issue where I'll crush on guys I barely know pretty hard, then all of a sudden, the feelings fade. Is this normal? Is it just because I don't know them that well? The only time my feelings for someone haven't faded was in my first ...

A.   28 June 2018: You're displaying a combination of anxiety and indifference. Most likely it's some form of a defensive mechanism or mental block which is usually the result of fear. Your emotions start off pretty normal but then your brain hold a conference meeting ... (read in full...)

Am I mean to delete all our photos from his phone?

Q.   I plan to break up with my boyfriend but I don't want to let him know until I delete all our photos together from his phone. Am I mean to delete all our photos from his phone? I never wanted to take pictures with him in the first place because I ...

A.   26 June 2018: Doing something like that is a huge invasion of privacy and incredibly disrespectful. It's his property; you have no right to delete anything from his phone including pictures you willing allowed him to take with you. You'll be breaking his hear... (read in full...)

I hate my boyfriend’s best friend and don’t want him at my wedding!

Q.   I got engaged to my boyfriend and we are currently planning the wedding, making guest lists etc. My partner wishes to invite his best friend to the wedding. The thing is i can’t stand being in the same room as my fiancées best friend as he severely ...

A.   21 June 2018: It's not just your wedding, it's also your boyfriend's wedding. If you dislike his friend so much that you want him out of the wedding how will it determine his inclusion in the rest of your lives. Something like this needs to be talked about... (read in full...)

How can my boyfriend love me when I think I can't keep up?

Q.   My boyfriend has quite a bit of intelligence, and I find it to be quite an attractive trait. All the same, a lot of his discussions and debates go over my head. When I see him talking with others who can carry the conversation, he always seems so ...

A.   16 June 2018: Lots of people feel happy when they go fishing, or ride bikes, or read books, or play a game. Just because one thing or activity is delectable to them doesn't mean everything else in their lives is worthless and dismal. If he's as smart as you say... (read in full...)

Why did he throw the gifts in the trash?

Q.   ok my ex boyfriend of 6 years when we met we were both 45 it’s weird cause I just had a broke up wasn’t looking and he was on Facebook I didn’t wanta like him I had just lost a lot of weight cause I had my first child only child so I was very ...

A.   10 June 2018: Once you give someone a gift, you can't control what they do with it. You found out he has been throwing your gifts away; the best approach to this would be to stop giving him gifts...simple. He's made it clear he's a piece of shit. He could e... (read in full...)

My boyfriend says if I don't lose weight after our baby's birth he will dump me!

Q.   I am 24 weeks pregnant. My boyfriend is constantly calling me fat. He says he is teasing. He also said that if I don't lose the weight after the baby is born he will dump me. I have taken all these things to heart. I was really skinny before I got ...

A.   10 June 2018: I think you should back-track a bit and focus on the magnitude of your insecurities here. Your boyfriend, called you fat...which is technically true...because you're pregnant. The comment about him dumping you sounds a tad bit passive-aggressive but ... (read in full...)

I moved to another city to be away from my ex and I found him here

Q.   Hi There, I broke up with my ex 2 months ago, It was a one and half year relationship, It was impossible to me to get better unless I move to another city, I hated the city that we were living in, I hated every single street in it, and everythi...

A.   9 June 2018: How do you know your ex lives there? Maybe it was just a coincidence and he was visiting the area. You're actually thinking moving again just because you saw him. You shouldn't allow others to have so much control over your actions. Responding the ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend often tells me small lies, how do I get him to stop?

Q.   Been tigether 2 years and the past 6 months my boyfriend has the tendancy to change his stories often and its getting to a point where Im always get upset and angry and then we end up in a big argument. Theyre usually small pointless ones, but if he ...

A.   8 June 2018: He said it himself, he worries about your reaction. It seems you could go just about anywhere in the world and find a frustrated wife or girlfriend complaining about the lying men in their lives. I think the real question here is: "Why does the... (read in full...)

I think she thinks we are in a full-blown relationship!

Q.   DearCupid, I've been good friends with this girl for 2 years. We hang out on a pretty regular basis with our group of friends. One night she told me she liked me over text messages. I told her I liked her too. We talked about setting up a dat...

A.   7 June 2018: I agree with @HoneyPie. The sooner you talk to her the better. Let her know that she's moving a bit too fast and you're still working out your feelings towards her before things get complicated and tense. Just move slow and privately on your fee... (read in full...)

Should I text him again or do you think he decided not to meet up with me?

Q.   I have a friend who has a gay friend I've met him several times, she ask him if I could tex him, he said sure, we did ,about a month ago, I sent him three tex,s , then I didn't, here back from him, he said we could meet for coffee, I said that would ...

A.   7 June 2018: Seeing that he hasn't responded to any of the texts that you sent to him and you can confirm that he got them, it seems that he isn't interested. Since that approach didn't work maybe you could just ask your friend to find out if he would be ... (read in full...)

Why hold a grudge for 3 years, after a crush wasn’t reciprocated?

Q.   If someone who had a crush on another person, felt rejected by that person, why would they hold a grudge after 3 years? They did not ask the person out. But dropped "I love you" lines here and there. But this was not taken seriously. So this other ...

A.   7 June 2018: Hurt people, hurt people... Not to mention this guy was rejected 3 years ago, has moved on to another relationship and still treats the rejecter like she's invisible or insignificant. This shows that the person is REALLY REALLY hurt by the reje... (read in full...)

Should I tell him I want him to propose?

Q.   I have a question do I risk ruining everything and admit to my boyfriend that I want him to propose or keep my mouth shut until he’s ready to ask me himself ? Both 26 been together 11 years he’s the kindest sweetest most amazing person I have eve...

A.   6 June 2018: It sounds like he loves you very much. Although 11 years is a long time you need to realise that you've been together since your teenage years when he couldn't provide as much. As a man, he is probably waiting on more financial stability before ... (read in full...)

How can I handle the monotony and boredom of everyday life?

Q.   How can I handle the monotony and boredom of everyday life.:? Days off have no purpose, but I go to gym, I get a coffee, I see a movie.. Me alone and counting the hours til bedtime.....

A.   6 June 2018: It sounds as if you're waiting for something.... Don't fool yourself into thinking a prince will come and sweep you off your feet like in those Hollywood movies. I once read a book by Steven Chandler called "Reinventing Yourself" which ... (read in full...)

Do I tell my wife about my bisexuality?

Q.   Hi everyone, I'm a male in my mid-30's and married, but I want to be able to admit to myself that I may be bi-sexual. I'm attracted to men like I am to women, but I love watching gay anal and shemale porn as well as straight porn. I have also had ...

A.   6 June 2018: If it has reached a point where you feel guilty and isolated because of your new found sexuality it is understandable that you wish to share your growth with the ones you love. However, you may have to come to terms with the fact that should you ... (read in full...)

Is it really a big deal that I didn't call?

Q.   I’ve been dating this guy (no official relationship) for a few months. We were old friends who got really close and started a romance. He did the chasing and I finally caught feelings after a while. We would hang out all the time. He would call me ...

A.   3 June 2018: It's possible he could have borderline personality disorder. People with the condition tend to be very hot and cold with people. One minute they love you the next minute they hate your guts. The fact that you apologized for hurting his feelings ... (read in full...)

I’ve made an ultimatum for my cheating husband. Is it reasonable?

Q.   Hello Cupids, Short question. My husband, who I have been with for 13 years, compulsively cheats on me. Last time, I kicked him out and begged him to get therapy, which he said he would. He didn’t, but kept telling me he planned to. Things got b...

A.   31 May 2018: Someone who truly loves you would never repeatedly put themselves in a situation which could cause them to loose you. The man blatantly has keepsakes from his lovers in your face for crying out loud. You cannot control the actions of others, ... (read in full...)

My superiors kept me in the dark about an employee's recent transfer

Q.   Hello Aunts and Uncles, This is not a romance question, it‘s work-related. I’m a department supervisor in a mid-sized company. Long story short, I’ve just learned that one of the employees I manage, and who was hired only 3 months ago, applied fo...

A.   29 May 2018: First things first, you aren't aware of the knowledge or relationship this guys has with upper management, for all you know those nude photo jokes could have some truth to them. His dad could be friends with them. They could all come from the same ... (read in full...)

Should I remain single or take a chance on this guy?

Q.   Hi. I'm a single mum, 36 years old, I've been single for about 6.5 years. I've dated in that time but last date was over 2/3 years ago. I'm considering staying single forever, I'm not good at relationships and I don't like who I become. But I st...

A.   29 May 2018: You're already allowing your expectations to ruin your date. Don't expect anything from this man. Don't expect him to be kind, or to be polite or to ask you on a second date or to open your door for you, or pull out your chair, or to be a compl... (read in full...)

Should I lie and say the baby is his?

Q.   Ive made a mess but now ive got to grow up and sort it out. Me and my 'ex'boyfriend had a break , we didnt say what each other can or cant do and if we were going to get back together. I had a feeling he was seeing someone else but just left him to ...

A.   28 May 2018: You're literally asking us if you should lie in a huge and potentially catastrophic way to avoid the TRUTH from crushing your ex? What exactly do you think the end result will be after the next 18 years when he finds out? Provided you even tell him ... (read in full...)

Help! I’ve fallen for my friend, but I don’t know what to do about it!

Q.   I was hoping if a female mind would be able to help out here because I'm in love with my best friend and I don't know if she feels the same way. I'm 23 and never had a proper relationship before so not terribly experienced! However, met thi...

A.   26 May 2018: Couple of issues here. First things first, she has a boyfriend, second things second, she has a crush on another guy, third things third she ignores you when she's with the know, the same controlling one you THINK she isn't really ... (read in full...)

Two people in as little as a week have brought me to a choice, and it's tearing me apart.

Q.   For someone bisexual who hasn't had any experience in dating or relationships, I've suddenly been forced with a choice. A woman at work has taken interest in me, and we talk every now and then. Surprisingly, she asked me out on a date. She's nice ...

A.   18 May 2018: It's called dating, and it's not illegal. Don't speak ill of your good fortune. First you had no one and now you have more than enough. See the good in it. Bask it in a bit. I don't see why you can't date both and use the experiences to determin... (read in full...)

Did my boyfriend snub my son by not saying goodbye to him?

Q.   Something is bugging me. I drove my boyfriend to work today. His car is in the shop and he doesn't live with me. My 13 year-old son was in the car too. After I dropped off my boyfriend, I was going to drop my son off at school. Well, my boyfr...

A.   18 May 2018: I think this question stems from you own intuition. It appears you have some reason to believe that your boyfriend doesn't show particular interest in your son and you're worried about it. Mind you, you can't force you bf to bond with your son... (read in full...)

My husband found some screenshots from my sim game!

Q.   My husband is jealous of a dating Sim (similar to otome) visual novel romance game. Recently he came across some pictures I'd saved of one of the sex scenes between the sprites (it's all dialogue) to show to my friend. He got mad that 1) I had ...

A.   18 May 2018: This doesn't sound all that different from a romance novel girls love reading. The only difference here is that you have complete control over the affairs of the characters and you have visuals. It's like playing with dolls. As long as you can ... (read in full...)

He ended our friendship because I loved him as a friend only. He sent me a message yesterday after 3 months. Do I reply?

Q.   Me and my ex guy friend have been friends for years. He started to have feelings for me and he did confess to me that he wants to be more than friends. However, i don't see us being together and i dont share the same feelings with him. I rejected ...

A.   16 May 2018: This can go one of two ways. Either the two of you continue being just friends OR you become a couple. If you refuse to be his girlfriend and he refuses to be just friends then there is a problem. The two of you, unfortunately, have outgrown ea... (read in full...)

He says I’m loose! Help!

Q.   I'm a virgin and today my boyfriend tired putting a bit of his dick inside and he said later that its very loose, I've never played with myself or let anyone else, no one has entered a finger inside me still he's saying this. can anyone please h...

A.   16 May 2018: It could be a means of manipulation. Guy tells you you have a loose vagina, it keeps you spiralling into a frenzy, you start feeling insecure about yourself and fear you might loose him as a bf. In turn you make every effort to please him and g... (read in full...)

I am upset at how he dealt with Mother’s Day! What would you do in my shoes?

Q.   Hello. My bf and I are 35, cohabitating. We have kids but not with each other although I am quite close with his. I was really upset on mother’s day because I woke up to an empty, messy house but a gift and cards left out. Apparently he thought the ...

A.   16 May 2018: The issue here is that instead of highlighting all the pros in your day you focused on all the cons. You woke up to a gift from your loved ones, many woman yearn to be a mother but were not fortunate enough to have kids, you had the house to ... (read in full...)

I love her and really don't feel like breaking up. How can I handle this situation?

Q.   I'm in a relationship with a girl for more than a year now. At first it was all going really well but then in last few months we have not stopped fighting. This is frustrating and it's taking A toll on this relationship. She has this habit of over ...

A.   7 May 2018: We have little to no control over the actions of others, however we do have control over ourselves. Put into the relationship the energy you want to see flourish in it. When she gets antsy and starts screaming, keep calm, answer her questions, s... (read in full...)

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