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*oucannotbeserious

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My aunt embarrassed me in front of everyone at the wedding & I dread facing everyone now!!

Q.   Basically what happened we all attended a family members wedding last week. After the wedding breakfast and before the evening doo my aunt decided she wanted to go back to my house to freshen up - she left a change of clothes at my house as I...

A.   13 April 2024: Anyone with any sense of decency is going to think badly of your aunt for embarrassing you in such a way. I think you need to laugh this off with a light-hearted comment like "Well, that will teach you to take my clothes without asking, ha ha". ... (read in full...)

My aunt embarrassed me in front of everyone at the wedding & I dread facing everyone now!!

Q.   Basically what happened we all attended a family members wedding last week. After the wedding breakfast and before the evening doo my aunt decided she wanted to go back to my house to freshen up - she left a change of clothes at my house as I...

A.   13 April 2024: Anyone with any sense of decency is going to think badly of your aunt for embarrassing you in such a way. I think you need to laugh this off with a light-hearted comment like "Well, that will teach you to take my clothes without asking, ha ha". ... (read in full...)

My aunt embarrassed me in front of everyone at the wedding & I dread facing everyone now!!

Q.   Basically what happened we all attended a family members wedding last week. After the wedding breakfast and before the evening doo my aunt decided she wanted to go back to my house to freshen up - she left a change of clothes at my house as I...

A.   13 April 2024: Test... (read in full...)

Neighbors haven't been supportive since the death of our dog!

Q.   We have known our neighbors for 12 years and have always got on well- we both had dogs which we took walking together, plus we’d look after each others dogs from time to time. 4 years ago their dog died, as soon as my husband and found out w...

A.   10 April 2024: I'm so sorry for your sad loss. As a pet owner for most of my life, I know what you are going through and how hard it is. That said, I prefer to grieve privately and not share my lowest moments with others. I used to have a friend who would... (read in full...)

I got involved with engaged co worker and made her choose

Q.   Hi everyone! Here's my situation: two and a half years ago a new coworker arrived into the company I've been working with for the last 7 years. A couple of weeks after she arrived, she started to flirt with me in a real intense way, I mean, she...

A.   1 April 2024: I bet she's very pretty. Am I right? She uses her looks to get what she wants - a rich fiance and, also, attention from other gullible males, who will never mean anything more to her than an ego boost. She may be pretty on the outside but she is ... (read in full...)

Falling in love unintentionally to my best friend's boyfriend. Title (e.g. My

Q.   It's hard to put into words the mess of emotions swirling inside me lately. I've found myself caught in a whirlwind of feelings I never expected to have, all because of my best friend's boyfriend. It started innocently enough. When I first met...

A.   30 March 2024: You can't stop your feelings but you CAN stop yourself acting on them. You CAN distance yourself from this guy, until such time as you manage to get a grip of your emotions. Put yourself in your best friend's shoes. How would you feel if she was ... (read in full...)

Would it be acceptable for my cousin to walk me down the aisle at my wedding?

Q.   When I was 19 years old, I had a one night stand with a friend and ended up pregnant. My parents, who always been judgemental and verbally abusive kicked me out when they found out. My cousin, Justin, who is a year older than me, was always close...

A.   16 March 2024: I'm sorry your parents were not there for you when you needed them most. Some people are just sh!t parents. Sounds like Justin stepped up when you needed help and, in my view, sounds like the most appropriate person to give you away. He sounds v... (read in full...)

Should I stay or should I go? Help!

Q.   Please can I get some career advice - I’m so torn….. I’ve been working for this company in customer services for almost 18 years. I’ve always felt a bit over looked and never really given much opportunity to progress - unfortunately it...

A.   16 March 2024: I have always maintained that, if I am worth a certain amount of money, then that is what you should be paying me. Don't suddenly decide to pay it me when I look to leave. Six months down the line, the new job won't be so new any longer and, hop... (read in full...)

Crazy man I've never met will not leave me alone

Q.   I matched with a guy online. We have FaceTimed one and agreed to meet on date however before the date I changed my mind as he was very pushy and whilst at work he sent me repeated messages despite knowing I was at work asking why I was ignoring him, ...

A.   10 March 2024: The guy sounds insane. Most worryingly, he sounds dangerous. Does he know where you live or work? No idea about other social media but I know on Facebook you can close down your account so only your friends can see it. Don't post on any social media ... (read in full...)

Crazy man I've never met will not leave me alone

Q.   I matched with a guy online. We have FaceTimed one and agreed to meet on date however before the date I changed my mind as he was very pushy and whilst at work he sent me repeated messages despite knowing I was at work asking why I was ignoring him, ...

A.   10 March 2024: Test... (read in full...)

Tired of his drama

Q.   Hello, I met someone online and we began a relationship. He has moved to where I am and I'm seeing a lot of red flags. I didn't ask him to move here, firstly. He did it on his own. Once he arrived here he got angry that I didn't see him ...

A.   9 March 2024: Why are you still stringing this guy along? You are quite obviously not really interested in him as nobody is too busy for a whole month to see someone. There is nothing good about this relationship from what you have written. He is demanding of ... (read in full...)

How can I make my dream a reality?

Q.   I know that this will seem like a silly want to others, but there is something I desperately want. Some women want a baby, some Women want a career, some women want a Gucci bag. I love horses and have always dreamed of learning to ride one, an...

A.   28 February 2024: As someone whose life has revolved around animals, especially horses, for around 40 years, I totally "get" your need to have a horse. Yes, I did use the word "need" because, for some, that it what it is, myself included. After losing 4 old horses in ... (read in full...)

Should I be suspicious of his ex-wife?

Q.   Friend with benefits just got out of the hospital for open heart surgery. His ex-wife has been at his house twice a day to cook breakfast and dinner since he came home, though I offered to help. Should I be suspicious that something more i...

A.   17 February 2024: By your own admission, you are merely "friends with benefits", i.e. no ties, no commitments, just sex. If he and his ex wife are on good terms, and especially if they share kids, she is going to want to look after him when he is not well. You know ... (read in full...)

He is controlling and I'm worried that the bad outweighs the good

Q.   I was in a relationship for 8 years, 2 children and a wedding booked when I found out he was having an affair with a woman he worked with. We split up but stayed amicable for our children. 3 years down the line and I went through some serious ...

A.   27 January 2024: "I will never find good qualities in a man like he has to offer"??????? Seriously? You really need to take off your rose-coloured spectacles when looking at this individual. He is a cheater (if he's done it once, he is capable of doing it again) and ... (read in full...)

Something just feels off about him

Q.   I started seeing this guy at the end of November 2023. On our second date, he asked me about my dating history and he proceeded to tell him his. He told me he still talks daily to his most recent ex and that she is always asking him to get back ...

A.   24 January 2024: MY gut instinct is that he is actually married and pretending to his wife/SO that he works away during the week, when he pops round to see you. Telling you about "dating the other woman" gives him an alibi. ... (read in full...)

Unhappy with hairdresser should I call and tell her or put it on social media?

Q.   Been going to the same hairdressers 2 years now, Before that I went to another one for longer. I always get my roots done and a wash and blow dry and it costs £60. The one I go to now is never been as good as the one I went to years ago. This hai...

A.   17 January 2024: You admit the reason you go is because this hairdresser is cheaper than ones where you live. In my experience, it is often the case that you get what you pay for. If you are having to travel 40 minutes to get there (assuming each way by car), that ... (read in full...)

I don't understand what she is doing

Q.   My girlfriend dumbed me coz she says I wasn’t serious about her and I was showing her love. I told her that if that’s what she wanted it’s okay. Then I asked her if she has found someone n she said no. That was on Boxing Day. Then I said if they no ...

A.   10 January 2024: It means you are allowing her to live, rent free, inside your head, when all she is doing is yanking your chain and messing with you. Delete her, block her, move on. ... (read in full...)

My family found out I don't keep the gifts they give me. How do I handle this?

Q.   My family (my parents, my brother, my sister-in-law and my sister-in-law's family) are terrible at buying gifts for me. They usually buy me clothes that don't fit, items that I don't need or want and other items that are useless to me. I us...

A.   6 January 2024: First of all, sorry for your loss. The effect of the loss of a loved pet should never be underestimated. They leave a huge hole behind when they leave. I hope you are ok. Secondly, why not suggest to your family that, going forward, they "cut out... (read in full...)

My family found out I don't keep the gifts they give me. How do I handle this?

Q.   My family (my parents, my brother, my sister-in-law and my sister-in-law's family) are terrible at buying gifts for me. They usually buy me clothes that don't fit, items that I don't need or want and other items that are useless to me. I us...

A.   6 January 2024: Test... (read in full...)

Boyfriend's admission of cheating has left me uncertain

Q.   Hello My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship about a year. He just admitted because of my work schedule he cheated once with an older woman he met online. He was very casual about it when telling me. I suspected something was up...

A.   24 December 2023: I find it strange that he was "casual" about admitting something like this. Why has he admitted it now? Usually, cheaters don't admit to cheating unless there is a reason, which is usually that they are going to be found out or that they want to end ... (read in full...)

I am interested in him but is a married coworker also interested in him?

Q.   They are supposedly 'just friends' but I have possibly noticed a few things but will focus on asking about one. Whenever I am at work and dressed really nice, looking pretty or what some would consider 'sexy' she goes out of her office to talk and ...

A.   15 December 2023: Nobody notices more "inappropriate" behaviour than someone who fancies someone. Women who have the hots for someone notice EVERYTHING around that person - just as you are doing. However, whether they interpret what they see correctly is often ... (read in full...)

Do I need to be more ambitious in life?

Q.   I’ve been at my current workplace for almost 18 years. Im 40. I’ve had a couple of promotions (nothing fancy) and I get to work on different projects which varies and to be honest I admit I’m settled and happy and have no desire to find ...

A.   2 December 2023: People who define others' worth in terms of what job they do make me cringe. What happened to discussions like "what gets you out of bed in the morning at the weekend?" and "what excites you about life?" Instead everyone asks about your job and then ... (read in full...)

Partner wants to run off to work party leaving me alone to deal with things

Q.   My partner and I have been together for 7 years, last year we went to his holiday party and I had a terrible time, this year comes around and he waits until it’s in less than a month to tell me he’s going to travel for it again. On top of it, we ...

A.   22 November 2023: He's going, whether you give him your blessing or not, so why not do the decent thing and just wish him a good party and let him get on with it? It's not his fault you didn't enjoy bar hopping; it's not for everyone. In your shoes I would be ... (read in full...)

Women love experienced men, what do novices do?

Q.   I've noticed a lot of women love men who are experienced. A lot of them say it's a turn on and a preference. So I have to ask; where does that leave guys with none or limited? You can't gain experience when you're not being given a chance. ...

A.   18 November 2023: In my experience, "experienced men" are grossly over-rated. Many think one size fits all and that, because a previous partner liked something, the next one(s) will as well. Everyone, whether male or female, has individual likes and needs and, ... (read in full...)

Tired of being a bank

Q.   Hi, So, I met someone online. We chatted for about 7 months before I went to visit him. He was going to come to see me, but his visa was declined. Before I first met him, he would ask for money. Usually, it is about 300 or 400 monthly. I sent...

A.   18 November 2023: Sweetheart, listen to your friends. They are trying to look out for you. Of course he is using you. These scammers tend to have a few sugar mummies on the go at the same time, keeping them - and their friends and families - in the style to which ... (read in full...)

Professional versus working relationship

Q.   I am a female and have a crush on an assistant principal at the school I work with. I have noticed he is good friends with another teacher. While she is married, pregnant, and has a child I am jealous of how he seems to respond and relate to her. I ...

A.   4 November 2023: Nobody is more observant than someone who has a crush on someone. I'm speaking from past experience, when I was younger and more foolish. You admit it would be inappropriate for him to have an affair with a "subordinate" so, logically, your cru... (read in full...)

Friend wants to rent our spare room but we don’t want to rent it out.

Q.   I’ve found myself in a very awkward situation that I know I’m to blame but I need advice on how to let my friend down gently and not ruin our friendship…. Last year my husband got a new job which unfortunately meant he had to travel away ever...

A.   3 November 2023: You need to tell her sooner rather than later so that she has time to make other plans. She is more than likely going to be quite upset and yes, she will probably assume you only want her around when your husband isn't, but you need to stand your ... (read in full...)

Mother is creating drama over my wedding dress! Help!

Q.   I’m getting married next year and a few months ago I went bride dress shopping with my mum. Now initially I wanted to bring with me (in addition to my mum) my best friend (who is my MOH), my aunt (my mums sister who was never able to have ...

A.   3 November 2023: As you were not that close to your mother to start with, I would just carry on planning your wedding as you intended and let your mother come round - or not - in her own time. Worst case? She'll boycott the wedding. Will that really matter to you? ... (read in full...)

Just figured out that my wife is bisexual

Q.   My wife is bisexual and I never knew until we got married. She got saved late in life and has a past (drugs) but has repented and we did church counseling before agreeing to court. She claimed she never prostituted but that she had been "raped" by ...

A.   30 October 2023: As if the original post was not bad enough, you are now replying as an anonymous female. You really do need professional help. ... (read in full...)

Just figured out that my wife is bisexual

Q.   My wife is bisexual and I never knew until we got married. She got saved late in life and has a past (drugs) but has repented and we did church counseling before agreeing to court. She claimed she never prostituted but that she had been "raped" by ...

A.   29 October 2023: What the hell did I just read? Have I woken up in the 19th century? The further I got into your post, the higher my blood pressure got. You are a condescending evil petty self-righteous judgmental man and your poor wife, who has already suffered so ... (read in full...)

Just figured out that my wife is bisexual

Q.   My wife is bisexual and I never knew until we got married. She got saved late in life and has a past (drugs) but has repented and we did church counseling before agreeing to court. She claimed she never prostituted but that she had been "raped" by ...

A.   29 October 2023: Test... (read in full...)

Double standards Co worker reported me for speaking inappropriately

Q.   I have a hard time explaining to people that my primary reason for not wanting to date or have a relationship is because I don't want sex stuff - including kissing. I generally don't even like touching skin (even my own thighs or armpits touching is ...

A.   28 October 2023: I'm obviously missing something here. What exactly were you reported for? How can you be reported for stating you don't want sex? Have I read something wrong? And what do you mean when you say "This isn't the first time similar has happened... (read in full...)

FWB not working out and I want more

Q.   I stopped sleeping with FWB recently because he insulted me. He said I wanted more and was into drama because I questioned him about a woman that was in his vehicle (ex wife) because they had to take care of a bank issue. Not questioning WHY she was ...

A.   21 October 2023: Sweetheart, he has shown you exactly where you stand. When someone does this, you need to listen and take note. The only way you can walk away from this with any pride is to let it go NOW and move on, even if he changes his mind and contacts you ... (read in full...)

Whirlwind vacationship gone wrong

Q.   Thank you all for reading my story: I am 35 years old, and on a recent trip to the Pacific, I met a man 10 years older and we fell in love. After a brief week together, we parted ways, only to reunite in Thailand weeks later to see where things...

A.   20 October 2023: Would you read a book for a second time and expect a different ending? Watch a film again and expect it to end differently? Of course not. So why would you go back to a relationship which caused you nothing but misery and expect it to be different? ... (read in full...)

I don't want to be pushed into sex. How do I express I want it to come naturally?

Q.   Hello, I was chatting with someone online for about 5 years. He finally moved to my country. I have seen him several times since he moved here. We get along well, he seems very serious. He reminds me he moved here for me. We haven't had s...

A.   15 October 2023: If you had been actually dating for 5 years, I would agree that he had been patient. However, this is obviously not the case. You have been chatting on line for that time. All you know about each other is what you both want the other one to know. ... (read in full...)

How do I resolve the resentment I feel for my partner over 'mum guilt'? Title (e.g. My husband is

Q.   My fiancee and I have been together 8.5 years and have a 1 year old son. We are also getting married next week. There have been a couple of instances recently where my partner has been wrapped up in whatever he was doing and done something that has...

A.   15 October 2023: Early parenthood is HARD. Even those without children of their own, but some limited experience with other people's children, know how difficult parenthood is, especially when the child starts to crawl/walk and get into everything with not a drop of ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend cheated and didn't use condoms. Why?

Q.   Can somebody please tell me why my boyfriend cheated on me with someone and didn’t use a condom? I’ve been with my boyfriend for a few years. Our families know each other and we were at the stage of getting engaged. I was busy with work last Christ...

A.   3 October 2023: You ask why he had unprotected sex with the other woman. My gut instinct is that it was to sabotage your relationship. If she had fallen pregnant (hopefully she didn't but this is still a possibility), he would have been "safe" from going through ... (read in full...)

How can I make amends with my friend about the money?

Q.   I’m currently feeling very guilty for accidentally misleading a friend regarding helping her out financially….. 18 months ago my friend was facing a potential situation where by she would need a solicitor and she was struggling to cover the cos...

A.   23 September 2023: Take a step back and analyse this friendship. She sounds to lead a chaotic life. When you made the offer to lend her money 18 months ago, she assumed you and your husband had it to spare so, when she needed money again, she assumed this was still ... (read in full...)

Early friend dating and sensing a conflcit coming

Q.   I have an inquiry about new friends. I try and be very open to different kinds of friends. I've seen people who are closed off and I feel they miss out on great people because they are so safety-concerned and any sign of remote conflict, sends them ...

A.   23 September 2023: A few things came to mind as I read your post: 1. You have a gut instinct to protect you. If your gut is telling you this "friendship" is not good for you, then listen and call it a day. 2. Friendship should not be such hard work, especially... (read in full...)

Was I wrong to delete my ex and his friends and family from my social media?

Q.   Hello everyone! I wanted to post here because I’m looking for advice, yesterday I unfollowed my ex from all social media, and I blocked him on WhatsApp. Also, I deleted his family and friends from Instagram. This was a huge step for me. It makes...

A.   20 September 2023: Let me ask you something. Would you read a book you had read before and expect a different ending? Would you watch a film you had watched before and expect it to end differently? Of course not, because that is just illogical. So why do you keep ... (read in full...)

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