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People are like stained - glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
I've been on DC since 2007. I have seen just about everything you can imagine on here. I am a "softer" responder. I try to always give good advice with kindness. I genuinely want to help people and never want to hurt someone by the words I type since most people that come to DC are already hurting in some way.
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We are not dating but he was my first, is this wrong?
Q. I dated a guy for a month in hopes to get over my ex of almost a year. After me and the guy broke up he started coming over to see me and we began to "mess around" this has been going on since 10 months and last night we finally did it. Is this ...
A. 8 June 2010: This is a question that only you can answer, dear. Is it wrong? Does it feel wrong to you? It doesn't matter what we think..its what YOU think. You have to live with what you have done..not us. So if you feel it was wrong, ok..maybe it was wrong for ... (read in full...)
She doesn't want children but I want to have them one day, am I just wasting my time with her?
Q. so i'm with the girl of my dreams, and a brief conversation we had one day is kind of bugging me. Were both in our early 20's, so this isnt anything to necessarily worry about any time soon: she is crazy about one of her sisters children- pictures...
A. 8 June 2010: First of all, I know this has to be quite upsetting to you. Second, I'd like to clear up a misconception you have...NOT ALL WOMEN WANT CHILDREN! I never did, its not that I hated children, I just didn't see myself as being a mom, I never had that ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says if we have a baby he will settle down with me and stop hanging out on the streets, what should I do?
Q. hi i'm 17 and my boyfriend is 18 and wants to have a baby but he is alway out in the streets he say's if we have a baby he will settle down with me. What should i do?...
A. 8 June 2010: Oh sweet young girl...don't assume that he will change! Many years ago I was in a similar situation..both 19, found out I was pregnant. The man promised to change, we'd get married..have a happy little family...UH RIGHT...that lasted about 2 months. ... (read in full...)
What can we do to stop the itching?
Q. my sex life here lately is non existent .Because my girl is experiencing itching problems in and around her vagina .My question is what can we do to stop the itching .Doctors just don't seem to help her they keep saying all kinds of different things ...
A. 3 June 2010: DC can be sooo very helpful to people, but as the other aunts have stated, we are NOT doctors here, we aren't experts, and seriously..take advice from uneducated strangers could be very dangerous. The problem could be sooo many different things...a ... (read in full...)
Am I over-reacting to his remark?
Q. Me and my lover were apart for a few weeks due to a row,anyway we just made up tonight by email because he was at work and he lives in another town from me,anyway he had finished work and said that all this emails had drained him tonight( we were ...
A. 3 June 2010: I agree completely with Caring Guy. We girls do tend to have deeper meaning behind our words, but guys don't. They say what they mean, and that's why they don't understand us, because we are saying one thing, but sometimes have hidden meanings in ... (read in full...)
Found a condom in my car, boyfriend cheated, do I need to know who?
Q. My bf cheated on me in my car! I was at work and later found the condom wrapper. We split for a couple of days and I really want to know who it was. Is it better to know or not know?...
A. 24 May 2010: Finding out who it was may make it hurt that much more. I'd say let it go, and let him go. You deserve so much better, sweetheart.... (read in full...)
Back home, clueless and confused after meeting my online love. I'm 20, she's 40+ married with kids!
Q. Hey everyone. So I met a woman online 2 years ago when I was 17 and we started typing to each other really often. It wasn't on a site like facebook or myspace so it was basically anonymous to a degree, with no real orientation around dating or ...
A. 22 May 2010: Oh sweetie..I'm sorry. Of course you are confused! But..the bottom line is that she IS married, there are children involved, and you live in different countries. How are you really going to make this work? And do you even want to? I personally know ... (read in full...)
I don't think I can leave her until there is actual proof she has cheated on me! What should I do?
Q. I have been in a relationship with a confusing lady for 6 months now and I believe she is not only cheating on me but has the belief system in place to continually do so but I have no proof. She is part of a sect headed by a guy called isaac ...
A. 30 April 2010: Sweetie..I'm sorry....but what more do you need to know? Do you actually want to see her with someone else?? After everything she's said, you've seen...how could you possibly NOT think she's cheating?? You are involved with a person who has very ... (read in full...)
Why after 8 years do I feel jealous that my wife has dated a black man?
Q. my wife of 2 yrs (together for 8 years), had mentioned casually that she dated a black guy in colllege. Now i feel like Im not good enough to satisfy her beause he was so much bigger. She also has dated a lot mofe guys than me and it makes me ...
A. 30 April 2010: I think you would be very wise to let this go. Unless your wife is bragging about this guy and rubbing your nose in it, then what is the problem? So she dated someone else..I would imagine that you dated others too, right? Almost all of us have a ... (read in full...)
Do you ever get over your first love?
Q. Hi, I have a question that maybe subjective but do you ever get over your first love? I am a happily married 37 yr old and have been with my husband for fourteen years now. My first real boyfriend was when I was 17 and we went out for two year...
A. 19 April 2010: I think we all have fond memories of our first love, and look back with fondness and nostalgia..because after all, they were our "first". But I agree totally with the other aunts/uncles, I don't think after all this time that you need to let either ... (read in full...)
Should I file divorce? Is enough enough?
Q. Do I leave my husband?? I need help please. I have been married for 17 years and have two beautiful children. However I feel that I need to put an end to a failing or failed marriage. I feel that I am in it just for the sake of the children. S...
A. 10 April 2010: I have been where you are..except for the fact that we didn't live overseas. Married the exact amount of time too. As caring guy says, when the kids start telling you to leave..its really time to get out, sweetie.Sometimes you just have to accept ... (read in full...)
I feel lonely and unloved in my marriage, but excited by LDR
Q. I have been married for 5 years now but i feel lonely and unloved my husband cant get an erection in the first two years he did try to get help with ths from the doctor but has given up on this he did try and fullfill me in other ways but i was left ...
A. 5 April 2010: I'm sorry about the problems you are having in your marriage, it cannot be easy when you are not sexually fulfilled. I was in a marriage like that, and it is very devastating! With that said, I also understand how having an internet romance makes ... (read in full...)
I've been having unprotected sex with my boyfriend for months,but I did take 3 contraceptive pills at once, could I be pregnant?
Q. im a bit confused.... 2 days before i was due on my period i took 3 conterception pills in one night, i heard that by doing that it can delay your period for a couple of days, is that true? but im now 5 days late on my period, these past few m...
A. 3 April 2010: Sweetie..I know that right now you are in shock and very confused..but it will be ok.I'm sad for you that this turned out to be such a difficult lesson to learn..but it could very well out to be a wonderful wonderful thing ok?? Its going to take ... (read in full...)
I've been having unprotected sex with my boyfriend for months,but I did take 3 contraceptive pills at once, could I be pregnant?
Q. im a bit confused.... 2 days before i was due on my period i took 3 conterception pills in one night, i heard that by doing that it can delay your period for a couple of days, is that true? but im now 5 days late on my period, these past few m...
A. 1 April 2010: Oh my gosh...your post really freaked me out...sweetie..WHAT WERE YOU THINKING??? As the other aunts said..Don't EVER take another person's medicine! Especially something like birth control pills! I don't mean to bash you, but do you have ANY idea ... (read in full...)
How can I end this painful and perpetual cycle and finally get together with someone? Preferably her?
Q. I am a 38 year old guy with not much experience of sexual relationships but a lot of experience when it comes to missed opportunities. 5 years ago I met a young woman who I really hit it off with. I worked with her but every time it came to asking ...
A. 1 April 2010: Sweetie, take the other aunts advice. I know it won't be easy, but you have GOT to be brave and make the move. The girl has already made it clear that she likes you..don't let the opportunity get away! I think she was just waiting for you to make a ... (read in full...)
Did I cheat? Am I obligated to tell my wife what happened?
Q. One night in the first year my wife and I were together we got into a huge fight and we broke up. we wernt married yet. She left my house and went home and at the time I was completely devastated. I went out to an all night grocery store where ...
A. 1 April 2010: You had broken up, I don't see that as cheating. Ok, it was a little creepy about having sex on the same sheets, ect..but that kind of thing happens sometimes. You don't say how long you've been married, but it doesn't really matter so much. I think ... (read in full...)
His bad breath and nasty comments about his exes are making me wonder... am I too unfussy?
Q. Hi Guys, I have been on a few dates with a guy recently and the problem is he has very bad breath indeed. He is not very attractive facially and has the bad breath and when I first met him I didn't fancy him that much but he made me laugh and ...
A. 1 April 2010: You know, when we date, let's face it, all of us like to feel an attraction to the other person, that's just natural. And of course, once you start dating a person, they can grow on you, I mean, you look past the physical and into the person--their ... (read in full...)
Can you give me one good reason why I shouldn't just dump him?
Q. I love this guy with all my heart; he's my first love, and every time I think about us breaking up I just start to cry. We began our relationship online in 2008, but since he and I were both under 18 and living on opposite sides of the country, we ...
A. 30 March 2010: I'm so sorry..I can't think of even one reason to keep him, but I can think of about 20 NOT to keep him. Kick him to the curb, sweets. It may hurt, but if you stay with him he's just going to continue to lie and hurt you even more. You're much too ... (read in full...)
How do I handle this situation with this seller on ebay?
Q. Hi. I was wondering if you could offer some advice about this ?. I won a bid on ebay for some concert tickets, and paid for them straight away. It has now been three weeks since i paid for them, and i still haven't received them. I sent the seller a ...
A. 28 March 2010: Contact ebay, ebay and paypal are connected. You can make a complaint through paypal AND ebay. and since paypal is very highly geared towards buyers, you will win because you have not received what you paid for. And DEFINITELY report this person to ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend ready to hear the important details about my affair?
Q. Ok, so I cheated on my boyfriend 5 months ago and told him almost immediately, but left out details as he didn't want to know them. All he knows is that I cheated on him, we didn't have sex, and it was a one-time thing. The guy I cheated with lived ...
A. 26 March 2010: Ok, why not place yourself in your boyfriend's shoes? Would you really want to keep hearing the details about his cheating? The odds are no you wouldn't. Don't you think the guy has already heard enough? I'd venture a guess that he thinks about it ... (read in full...)
Married and dating a married man for 5 years... am I wasting time thinking he will leave his wife when the kids are older?
Q. I met the man that I am currently involved with at my job. I had been married for 8 years and he had been married for 6 at the time we met. (We are both still married to our spouses) We both have children the same age range.(but he is 10 yrs older ...
A. 24 March 2010: Yes, you are wasting your time..and no, he's not going to leave her or his kids for you. Wake up, smell the coffee, and stop wasting your time, and concentrate on your marriage and family. You have fallen for the oldest line in the book. He's got ... (read in full...)
I regret having an abortion and feel I have no one to talk to about it!
Q. im 15 and had an abortion last year in febuary. all i think of know is what if i kept the baby. I have very strong feelings, and have no one to speak to about this. My mom stood by me when i had the abortion but i feel akward speking to her k...
A. 22 March 2010: Sweetheart, I truly understand your pain. I was older than you, but I had an abortion as well. 22 years later, it still haunts me. What's done is done, and you can't change things. You have to forgive yourself, accept that you did what you thought ... (read in full...)
Girls is it confidence, appearance, attitude; what?
Q. Girls: does confidence matter more if the guy is generally seen as "unattractive"? I have good days where i'm super cocky, other days where i'm almost shy. As confident as I get and as much time as i spend on my appearance and personality, I get ...
A. 17 March 2010: Pinktopaz nailed it..its one thing for a man to be confident, its an entirely different thing for him to be cocky. I cannot stand cocky men. The minute a man starts acting like that, I totally lose interest. A confident man comes across as being ... (read in full...)
Should I keep the dog I'm allergic to or risk losing my boyfriend?
Q. I am in a moral dilema but it is affecting my health and I don't know the best way to handle this. I have been in a relationship for some time now and three years ago I acquired a dog through some emotional blackmail from my daughters and my b...
A. 17 March 2010: I realize it isn't so easy since you are involved, but to an outsider, the answer is very clear. WHY would you want to keep the dog when its making you ill? Any guy that would expect you to do that without caring about you, and getting rid of you ... (read in full...)
3 years have gone past since our break up and I still can't move on...
Q. my girlfriend and i split up about 3 and half years ago. we were engaged and living together. i havent moved on yet but she has had a few casual boyfriends and one serious one she lives with and is expecting his baby, i think they been together 2 ...
A. 16 March 2010: I'm really sorry for the pain that you are feeling. Its so terrible when we lose someone that we really loved and we just can't seem to move on. I am going through the same thing as you, I dated a man for 8 years, lived together, talked of marriage, ... (read in full...)
Will he be missing me as much as I am missing him?
Q. hello,i need to explain what happened before you can help me!..i work on a militry base behind a bar and i love my job,last sept my dream guy walked into the bar and started to chat..to shorten this tale a little..he was posted in for 8 weeks and ...
A. 16 March 2010: He's married with 3 kids..and you ask if he'll miss you. It isn't that he'll miss you or won't miss you..its the fact that he's married! Do you always want to be the other woman? The booty call?? Because the odds are not in your favor of him leaving ... (read in full...)
He refuses to admit he is still talking to this other woman, should I just leave?
Q. Boyfriend texts a another woman and wont stop. I have been seeing him for 2 years. Quite early on in the relationship my phone broke and I put my chip in his phone (in his presence) just to check my messages. I saw many explicit text between him ...
A. 16 March 2010: Yes. Why would you subject yourself to this kind of pain when its apparent he still has feelings for her and has never put you first. Leave, and the sooner the better.... (read in full...)
Are my husband's lies a cause for alarm?
Q. Why does my husband lie to me so much? Sometimes it is about important things, in which case he usually tells the truth after words. Sometimes, though, I lies about other general less important things. IE: Once he made the comment that, “Oh, well ...
A. 16 March 2010: I don't think you should just sweep it under the carpet, the foundation for a great relationship HAS to built on trust. Without trust, you have nothing. You say he tells you the truth after, but the point is WHY is he lying in the first place? And ... (read in full...)
If a guy goes that far with you on a first date, what does it mean?
Q. ok, so i met this guy and we talked and flirted for about a week. then we were hanging out and he asked if he could kiss me....i said yes and we started to kiss. it was great at first but then he started touching me everywhere and he asked me to ...
A. 15 March 2010: It means he's horny, wants sex and wants to see if you'll go along with it. He will push as hard as you will allow him to and go as far as you will allow things to go. If you're looking for a nice relationship with a guy who will respect you, this ... (read in full...)
Why do guys watch porn when they have girlfriends?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for more than two years now. He is turning 21 while I am 18. We have a 5 month old son together. When we first started going out, i never really took notice of whether or not he watched porn, but when I bought a lapto...
A. 12 March 2010: I hate to tell you this, but its a guy thing. Most men do it. Some try to hide, some hide it better than others. I won't say all men do it, but MANY of them do. WHY?? Who knows exactly? Most of them probably couldn't even tell you. Because they are ... (read in full...)
Do I leave my new life behind for her?
Q. Hey guys, I moved to Australia from England 2 years ago. My (now) partner was my best friend in the UK. She came to visit me, and we decided to take the relationship to the next level and we started dating. We had a long distance relationship...
A. 12 March 2010: You two need to sit down and really hash this out. I don't think EITHER of you should give up your life for the other, because its going to cause resentment down the road if things should go wrong. I gave up my entire life for a man, moved to where ... (read in full...)
All the kissing and no call yet.
Q. I'm 19 years old and so is he, I've known this boy for almost 2 years, he lived in my halls of residence in my first year at uni, we never really got close but were aquaintances, but I always fancied him a little bit. A few nights ago I was out with ...
A. 12 March 2010: Guys can be very weird and hard for us girls to read, but I'd say if you don't hear from him in a week that it was probably the alcohol doing the talking for him that night. You already made it clear that you'd like him to contact you, I wouldn't ... (read in full...)
Sharp pain in my cervix that lasts no more than 2 seconds - what could this be?
Q. im 36 weeks pregnant feeling really uncomfortable baby moving around a lot but i feel a lot of pressure downstairs and sometimes it feels like the baby's foot is kicking my cervix is this normal? not sure if its babys foot just feel a sharp pain ...
A. 11 March 2010: Please don't rely on the advice of us aunts and uncles. We aren't doctors, and even if we are, we can't tell you for sure what is going on without an examination. To put your mind at ease, call your doctor, go to your doctor, and then you'll know ... (read in full...)
Should I terminate my pregnancy for my boyfriend?
Q. im just 3 weeks pregnant and its the one thing i want most in the world. im 33 and was beginning to fear it would be too late for me. my partner wants me to terminate, weve discussed children and ive always been under the impression it would happen, ...
A. 11 March 2010: Sweetheart, don't do ANYTHING you don't want to do. Once its done, you can't go back. If you want this baby, then you should have it, regardless of what your boyfriend says. It sounds like you want this baby so much, and I can certainly understand ... (read in full...)
Is my girlfriend being unreasonable?
Q. okay guys this is what happen, tell me if this is reasonable or not? so me and my LDR gf was discussing about our friend birthday and when it was. i told her it was during the summer but she said no it was during april. After we hung up, the nex...
A. 11 March 2010: Wow..yes, its a pretty insignificant matter to get upset over. I don't understand what the big fuss is all about. Its not like you two forgot the friends birthday or something. Beats me why she's so upset!... (read in full...)
I broke up with my boyfriend now he is saying he will spread rumors about me.
Q. So I just broke up with my boyfriend that I have been dating since Feb. 5th because he just wasnt the one for me. Plus I swear he was bipolar or something because one minute he would be yelling at me over nothing and the other second he wants sex or ...
A. 11 March 2010: This is sad, and it shows that he is very immature. Unfortunately, you really can't stop him from spreading rumors. People that know you won't believe what he says, and for others, well..if they really aren't your friends anyways, who cares what ... (read in full...)
What in the world does his comment mean?
Q. Have been involved with a man now for a little over 5 yrs and care for this man very much. I recently asked him if he was happy with what we have and he said that he was. I then went on to say if you're happy, comfortable, and getting your ne...
A. 10 March 2010: It means when you are getting the milk for free why buy the cow. He's happy just the way things are and doesn't want to change anything. ... (read in full...)
What can I do for my 22nd birthday? My husband has to work.
Q. what can i do on my birthday?I'll be 22yrs my husband ask his boss for the day off but she said noooo....so what can i do for my birthday while my husband is at work plz plz dont say anything bad becuz i'm a good wife/mother and hate lim...
A. 10 March 2010: Do you have someone who could watch your child for awhile? Maybe you could get a family member or girlfriend and go for a manicure, or a pedicure, or go see a "chick" flick. Pamper yourself in a small way, and wait till your husband is off to ... (read in full...)
My penis sometimes won't get hard.
Q. my penis is some times not getting much harder, and it not getting hard enough for sex...... wat to do ??...
A. 10 March 2010: Go to a doctor and get yourself checked out. There could be underlying factors causing the problem, or perhaps you need some sort of pill like Viagara. None of us on here can really tell you what is wrong from just a description. It could be many ... (read in full...)
I know I'm not in love with him... should I leave him?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 7 years and we have a 4 year old daughter together but I'm not in love with him anymore and I can't decide if I should stay or go. To everyone else we have the perfect relationship which we do but it's not what I ...
A. 10 March 2010: If you don't love him, then you don't love him. You aren't doing either of you a favor, not even your daughter. I dont' see why you have to ask us total strangers if you should leave or not darlin...life is short, and if you aren't happy, and don't ... (read in full...)
Is this too good to be true?
Q. I have been dating a man for about a month, he told me that we was falling for me almost immediatly. We seem to share the same world view, he tells me he's been looking for his mate for two years. He is divorced since 2001. He has opened up his ...
A. 10 March 2010: If you are feeling maybe its too good to be true, then maybe it is. There's no way to truly know someone after just a month. Take your time! If he's genuine, you'll know, and if he's not..well..you'll find that out too. But thinking of marriage ... (read in full...)
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