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1 June 2017: GET out there..It might be terrifying,but you need to broaden your social horizons.Go on line,join a club or go to a speed-dating night You will not find love in your living room.REVAMP your image;Ask a good friend to appraise your style.Do you need ...

CatFish, and tips to keep you safe

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10 May 2017: CatFish,has nothing to do with either Cats or Fish.As you will probably know a person male/female who will put a fake profile on dating sites....and will contact many people or maybe just one and have a relationship be it ...

Nora B, Sharing thoughts on observations about life and struggle

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22 October 2016: In this day and age when trains stations are crammed with people,coming and going,roadways are congested with traffic. Meeting deadlines maybe at the cost of ones job. Emotions have taken a backseat,love and friendship are something to be ...

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I'm married and making out with my husband's best friend

Q.   I made a mistake again... I know once is a mistake and two types is purely stupid but I didn't think and now I need help to stop. I am in a troubled marriage but we are still trying to work through it as we truly love one another. However his best ...

A.   22 September 2020: The only way to Stop is do not meet this guy again.Right now you need to focus on talking to your husband and trying to sort out whatever problems you have.If these problems cant be sorted between you..perhaps you both would consider going to a ... (read in full...)

I'm having a hard time coping with LDR

Q.   Hey y'all, I was together with my bf for 4 months in the same city. We spent the nights and days together in the same appartment for most of the time. So it was almost like we lived together.. However it's been almost 2 months now that we are in a...

A.   20 March 2020: It is very difficult to cope with a L.D.R.and while you feel that you understand it all..that is not so.Otherwise you would not be seeking help...and i can understand ,First in a L.D.R.there must be [1] A commitment on both sides [2] there must be ... (read in full...)

Letting someone know in the simplest way that we can't keep in touch.

Q.   I ran into an old friend from childhood. We reminisced and he some of the other people from our group of friends. He told me how he reconnected with many of them and talks with them through phone calls in text. I found out a few of my friends have ...

A.   14 March 2020: In a situation like this and as you are a married lady The next time he calls be honest with him..and tell him in a gentle but firm way ..that while it was nice talking about old times..and with the greatest respect to him you would see no point to ... (read in full...)

Fiance cheated, how do I move on from my first serious relationship?

Q.   My now ex-fiance and I were dating and living together for three years. He proposed in December 2018. Starting in April, he started going out often and neglecting our relationship. Last month, he finally confessed everything to me. During this ...

A.   2 February 2020: How difficult it is on you right now...and the pain that you feel..thinking he was the man i was going to have a future with.But as time goes will heal...but yes it will take sometime...but you will get there.Thank your lucky stars that you ... (read in full...)

No matter how much of an effort I put in, my husband looks at me like I'm am old dish rag

Q.   I feel my husband is not attracted to me . He shows very little interest in me . I could walk around naked or in lingerie and he wouldn’t bat an eyelid but with other younger women who he clearly finds attractive he definitely pays attention . If we ...

A.   29 January 2020: Men will always find younger women let them enjoy..their own lost youth.Delighted you stated that you are attractive..well done you and yes keep this up.For yourself..would you consider maybe a different hair ... (read in full...)

How do I stop looking back and get busy building my future?

Q.   I’m at a bit of a crossroads in my life. I left a great job about 8 months ago - for all of the right reasons - but, my new role is not really great (or panning out). My family situation is OK but not where I want it to be - especially because I ...

A.   19 January 2020: As you stated you left your last job for all the right reasons..but i do understand why you would question now as your new role is not panning out.But please be gentle with yourself on this level..otherwise you will become stressed out..and that ... (read in full...)

Is he trying to or currently cheating?

Q.   I am a little concerned as to whether my OH is in fact trying to or is currently cheating. Let me give you a bit of background. 6 years together. Engaged. Living together 2 and a half years, dog, cat, saving for house etc. He has cheated in the p...

A.   19 January 2020: This is a very difficult situation for you to deal with.However lets start [1]He cheated on you in the it is always very very difficult to trust again.[2]With regards to the ..threesome someone will always. get hurt and it is never ... (read in full...)

I hired a PI who tells me my wife has been cheating on me.

Q.   I recently found out that my wife has been having an affair for the past two years with a single male friend of ours who we had a drunken threesome with two years ago..that threesome which i initiated wasnt so fullfilling for me, since i had ...

A.   12 January 2020: That is the Price you pay for a Threesomes..always someone will get hurt...The trust is broken...The Love is broken.The friendship is broken...Is there a future in this relationship..that is the question..Talk to your wife and suggest going to a ... (read in full...)

I feel lost and miserable around my long term partner

Q.   Ive been trying to make my relationship work for many years and Im tired. I lack the motivation and positive outlook for our future anymore. I am not depressed but my partner has been for many years, up and down, but the last 3-4 years half been ...

A.   12 January 2020: This is a very hurtful and difficult situation for you..and you must feel alone.However as you have tried everything to give your partner every chance to help herself..and she refuses..she may still depressed...and cant see any point in going ... (read in full...)

How do I stop feeling like I'm not good enough?

Q.   I need advice on how to stop or control the feeling of not feeling good enough. I’ve been with my partner for 5 years and I’ve always felt this way, I feel like it’s a bad trait to have but I can’t help but feel this way. My partners friend ...

A.   4 January 2020: In the last line of your letter you yourself..have answered your own question..That you really need to love yourself.Your low self esteem is not something that has happened over night.This may have happened as far back as your childhood..but it is ... (read in full...)

My husband's action toward his family and the way they treat me is making me want to leave him

Q.   I've been married to my husband for about 11 years. He's a very good man and treats me right, but has a weak personality when it comes to his family. We've had alot of problems regarding him staying quiet whenever his mom and his sister hurt me and ...

A.   10 August 2019: This is a very difficult situation for you and even more so because you love your husband.However there is a limit to a persons [you] understanding on this matter.While you say your husband is very nice to you...and this is lovely.But he must ... (read in full...)

Online romance was going well till we face timed. He acted like things were great but has now said he can't be in a relationship

Q.   So I'm pretty upset...been chatting to this guy for a month...we have talked every day for hours. We get on really well or so I thought...similar interested he makes me laugh loads and he was initiating texts like good morning texts etc. He used to ...

A.   4 August 2019: one of the situations with ..Online..romance is it is possible...your friend..was more than one girl.Have no doubt that you did ..Nothing...He changed his people do.Do not give it another thought...because he is not worth ... (read in full...)

We are uneasy with our son's choice of a wife that we know very little about

Q.   My son works abroad and is engaged to his Brazilian girlfriend for a year. They were planning to get married next year. Now he has told us that they tend to marry next month in Brazil without us being there! Both myself and my husband feel ver...

A.   4 August 2019: At a time like this it is very difficult to be a mum and dad..and maybe watching your son make a big mistake..yes i do really understand your situation.First of all would you consider having a gentle but firm words...on helping out on a money level ... (read in full...)

5 months into our relationship and partner is dragging his feet filing for divorce from wife.

Q.   A guy I've known over the years went through a split up with his wife. He was staying at my brothers house but it was crowded there so i told him he could stay with me. I just so happened to be searching for a roommate to help out. It wasn't long ...

A.   27 July 2019:  He is a married man and the whole family situation is in a dreadful mess.What an unhappy situation for his children.Let him decide what he wants..he sounds like he does not know what he wants give him all the space and time...also be aware he ... (read in full...)

I'm unhappy in my marriage husband cheated may have gotten another woman pregnant

Q.   Hi all. I am unhappy in my marriage. I want to leave but I know my eldest son would feel so hurt. I can't take it anymore. My husband cheated after us being together for five years. He brought a child into our marriage and it's like I can't get over ...

A.   22 July 2019: It is very sad that the ..child is mixed up in this as you stated the child is the innocent party .Regardless of the fact that he may be your husbands or not...perhaps it might be a good idea to let your husband deal with this issue..if he wants ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is being really distant and cold.

Q.   My boyfriend is being really distant and cold. We’ve been together 8 months. He is currently depressed because his ex hasn’t allowed him to see his child. This has been going on for 3 weeks. We never even spoke for the first week - he often shuts ...

A.   13 July 2019: I can understand your situation very well and it is not easy to deal with it right now.However your boyfriends behaviour towards you at the most unfair and out of order.On the other hand i do know he would be very unhappy and not being ... (read in full...)

Marrying a Second Time With a Strong Porn Addiction

Q.   I'll be turning age 72 next month. I've been divorced for almost 9 years now. I've had a strong porn addiction since I was age 12. I usually masturbate using busty babe porn videos at least once or twice each week. I want to get married again, but I ...

A.   7 July 2019: Well the best of luck to you on your thought of wanting to get married again.My question for you ...why ..why would you need porn..when you would have a real woman to make love to.My best advise is to STOP.....its just like any addiction.Yes it ... (read in full...)

Why did she cheat in this way?

Q.   Hi everyone! So I recently just got out of a yearlong distance relationship with another woman. I was half her age and was the older one in the relationship and she was also the “man” as well. She lives in another country and even has a fiancé of ...

A.   4 January 2019: Right from the start..she was a player and continues to be one.As you would be aware if she is willing to cheat with You.....she will also cheat on You.This woman is into playing games.....and has no intention of doing otherwise.Your understanding ... (read in full...)

I'm really sad and discouraged with my life

Q.   Anyone have any advice for someone in late 20’s. I have studied to high level, but don’t have job anymore. It’s been half a year, and I simply cannot afford anything. Friends kindly ask why I don’t have work yet,l. I guess that’s their way of ...

A.   24 December 2018: The great thing about life is that you have a ..Choice...Remembering that every day can be a Fresh start for you.Right now the good things that you have going for you.[1]You are lucky to have a high level of education.[2] You are living at home.[3] ... (read in full...)

My friend has gotten himself involved with a bad girl and I want to help him but unsure what to do

Q.   I'm worried about a guy friend as he's got himself involved with a girl who is bad news. Hes started distancing himself from everyone who's warning him and is distancing himself from close friends She's a complete bitch sorry to say - take a mon...

A.   24 December 2018: I understand your worry about your friend and it is difficult to stand by and do nothing.But no man will accept advise..on a woman they find attractive or are in-love with.So in this case....Sometimes in doing are doing something.By ... (read in full...)

Help! I am seeing my crush in other people. I don't think this is normal!

Q.   I developed a crush on a girl a while ago, Im pretty sure she is into me as well but we are both in longterm relationships. So I have limited contact with her but remained polite with just a hello or a wave. The problem is I am seeing her body ...

A.   3 November 2018: Because you are thinking of her in such dept anything can remind you of her.Yes it is ...Normal...However because she is in a relationship there is nothing you can do on that level..because she may be happy in that relationship However i would ... (read in full...)

I’m excited at the concept of an open relationship but I’m not really happy with the current situation.

Q.   My girlfriend of 6 years is studying abroad for a year (since mid-September). We’re fairly committed to each other so we are trying to do long distance. We are also fairly sexual people but have only ever really been with each other. We are also ...

A.   28 October 2018: As you stated you are not happy with the current situation.Let me be very frank with Open living in Fantasy land...a free for all,and never works...Stop and loving and respecting someone does not mean you want to ... (read in full...)

I seem to get looked over for the more "shiny" people

Q.   Options. Everyone has options and like marketing the ones that are the shiniest are the ones that actually make it through. I've been meeting new people and just when I get close to them they start to be become distant and then you see them on ...

A.   14 October 2018: Life as we know it has changed so much not alone in the past 20 years..but in the past 10 years.In life now.its all about .IMAGE...the type of car you drive.the brand of handbag your wear...and it goes on and on.Each person trying to have the most ... (read in full...)

How can I make our first time as pleasurable as possible?

Q.   Basic sex question: I just got out of a 2.5 yr relationship. I've met someone new, and we've been very open with communication and I've been able to let her know that while I'm not absolutely ready for something concrete, and that I need some more...

A.   7 October 2018: Yes healing on your part is very important...and to grow stronger.Communication with your new girlfriend,talking to each other at all levels and to be quiet open on sexual matters.Time is a great healer and tender love is take all the ... (read in full...)

Was I taken advantage of by my now ex?

Q.   Hello aunts I'm at a low phase in life right now. In academics, career and health. I'm doing everything possible to set those things right. I feel people take advantage of my niceness. I used to be naive and vulnerable before and never stand up f...

A.   23 September 2018: I know you are hurting from the tone of your letter but time will heal the hurt and hopefully you will have learned a lesson from this experiences.First of all nice people Only are taking advantage of ..if they themselves allowed this to happen.For ... (read in full...)

He threw out something important to me for no reason, WHY???

Q.   I had been buying second hand toys and saving them for a friend of my husbands who had asked for help with a co-worker with a 5 yr old who had no money for toys. I collected two shopping bags of quality toys (Dora the Explorer talking doll hou...

A.   23 September 2018: This is unfeeling and uncalled for behaviour on your husbands side.....just threw out the toys and not a word to you.Would you consider having an indept chat on this matter and asking him....the reason why...he acted the way he did...knowing that ... (read in full...)

We never go anywhere and my boyfriend even sleeps in the spare room.

Q.   Hi everyone I’m in a relationship now for 4 and a half years the problem is it’s so boring we never go anywhere together it’s the same routine everyday I try to get him to come places with me but he’s never interested we have only been out a handful ...

A.   4 June 2018: What a pure waste of 4.5 years....Dump him like now...and start living your life.Find some guy that is fully alive and appreciates and knows how to respect,love a girlfriend.In the meantime treat yourself to new hair style/make-up/buy some fashion ... (read in full...)

Should I tell my wife things are broken even though love is still there?

Q.   Hi everyone. I've come to you all for advice before and recieved a mixture of abuse, passive aggression and sexism. I ask you please to respond as if yuo are the shriks you claim to be! Me and my wife have been together 14 years. We have no kids ...

A.   3 June 2018: What Aunts and Uncles are offering on this site is a caring,coming from their life experience of the University of life[with respect to other Added degrees they may have].Taking the time to give the best advise/opinion they have on a particular ... (read in full...)

I think my boyfriend is stingy, what should I do?

Q.   I have been dating this guy for 8 months now and he doesn't get me anything, he doesn't buy me gifts, he doesn't give me money when am in need,and whenever I complain to him about it he always complain that he doesn't have money but yet he always ...

A.   1 June 2018: A relationship is a two way situation.Yes i understand you would be delighted if he gave you a small token of his love.The question now you give him a little gift ?.Because it works both ways.However it is Most important that ... (read in full...)

I cant get the "cloud 9" feeling!

Q.   hello dear aunts! Don't want to go too long or detailed about this. I'm going to cut it short. I 'm seeing someone who is great. He is known to be an honest and decent guy. I've known him as a friend for a long time but we started seeing e...

A.   27 May 2018: I quiet understand how you feel,after such dreadful treatment from your ex-boyfriend....You have been badly wounded.....after those 5 years...and the wounds of hurt are still healing,and it it no wonder that you expect the same thing to happen ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has naked pictures on his phone, am I not pretty enough anymore?

Q.   I’ve been with my boyfriend about 5 yrs , and I recently he got cought having naked pictures on his phone , he was showing me a picture that he took and by accident ly I saw those , he said that his friend send those to him , so I said would u like ...

A.   26 May 2018: As we become older....i think women in general question are they still attractive....and the answer is a Positive Yes.I can understand why you could question this..after those photos on your boyfriends phone.However would you consider having a chat ... (read in full...)

I'm 25 my girlfriend is 67, its time we went public with the Age Gap.

Q.   This question is about being true to myself in front of my family and friends. I seem like a normal 25 year old guy. I graduated from college 3 years ago. I have a good job. I don't smoke. Don't drink. I go to church when I can. On occasion, I date ...

A.   20 March 2018: They do not say ....Love is blind and marraige is an Eye Opener for nothing . THINK .. .Your idea of an older woman is wonderful and romantic.But have you thought about ..having children...well in this situation this .is...a No ... (read in full...)

How can I help my sister who has spiralled into depression?

Q.   My sister had faced reality and spiraled into depression. I urged her to seek therapy (not just because of this last episode), but in the meantime she needs support. How can I help her more? Some time ago she had a month long fling with a guy...

A.   20 March 2018: First of all by being there for her is a great help...knowing she is not alone to deal with this hurt.When man/woman falls in love a this level....reason.. goes out the window....keep talking to her in a gentle way without to much ... (read in full...)

I need advice on stepping back gently from a friend!

Q.   So i have a friend who ive known since i was 9 we are now 40. We do not live near each other about a 2 hour drive away. Its not that i do not want her in my life as she is a nice person and we are there for each other. She has lots of issues (...

A.   19 March 2018: As you need to stand back from your friend.I understand your situation and the history with your friend, so it is difficult for you.Yes you do need to step back from your friend....not alone for yourself...but also for your frie... (read in full...)

How do you kill all hope after a breakup?

Q.   My ex and I were together over a year,. And broke up 2 weeks ago. We spent 8 months face to face, and nearly a year apart. He told me the distance was a big factor, but that he also felt 'unsure' about our compatability and wanted to think. I told ...

A.   1 January 2018: For a long distance relationship to try and work,takes extra love and understanding on both sides.This is not the situation with you...You are the person that cares the most,and he is just talking about not being sure of his feelings for you and the ... (read in full...)

Parents can't believe I don't want children

Q.   Hello aunts I was at my family holiday dinner and I said that I don’t want to have kids to my family and they looked at me like a deer in the headlights. My parents are miserable (arranged marriage). I was born in a communist country but I came here ...

A.   27 December 2017: First of all let me say,that not everyone wants to get married and have children.There are many single men and single quiet happy lives and do not feel the need to get married.So if this is your choice it is quiet Normal for you.Nobody ... (read in full...)

Does he want me?

Q.   Hi I am 29 yr old female in a relationship with a guy who is actually my junior and is 3 years younger than me. (Well he told me about his age once we get into relationship) I told him then to stop as I was always having this issue of age but he s...

A.   17 December 2017:  Love is difficult at the best of times,and there has to be give and take on both sides.However this relationship seems to have started on rocky ground and a lot of problems to deal with.The death of his mum would be a major sad issue in his life ... (read in full...)

Should I own up to my size?

Q.   I only have 4 inches erect and I met this girl about month ago. She is very beautiful and has great personality. We have gotten more physical in the relationship but due to nervousness I invent excuse to leave before she sees me naked or before sex ...

A.   17 December 2017: A loving relationship is what is important here,the sharing and understanding of each other.Making love is not measured my the size of a man penis.As your only in the relationship a month,give it a little more time to develope and use your gut ... (read in full...)

My wife wants an open relationship, I don't

Q.   My wife insists on a open relationship for her but not for me. I am very resentful about this but she says its this or nothing. I love her but I am going nuts....

A.   17 December 2017: She may love you ...but she is not in-love with you.The relationship is over.Do not waste time on a person who Only loves herself.Move on..Move out,she is not worth another thought.Give yourself Time and Space to heal and start afresh.After all ... (read in full...)

He wanted to end "whatever this is" and be just friends but he's acting like a jerk now

Q.   Hi, i really need some advice About 2 years ago, I met this guy thru a my best friend. The 3 of us became best friends but he liked me and I never seen him like that. Until 8 months ago I saw him more of a friend. The first move was made by him,...

A.   16 December 2017: As you stated your boyfriend is acting like a Jerk.He is a user and has no real feeling for you...and would only use you for sex.So Block him at all levels and have nothing to do with him again.Remember you will be treated...the way you allow people ... (read in full...)

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