Like what
she writes?
... Add *ystiquek to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *ystiquek a private message | | | *ystiquek's profile:
People are like stained - glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
I've been on DC since 2007. I have seen just about everything you can imagine on here. I am a "softer" responder. I try to always give good advice with kindness. I genuinely want to help people and never want to hurt someone by the words I type since most people that come to DC are already hurting in some way.
|
|
Why do some people never think before they open their mouth?
Q. I work for a pretty big company and there's one woman there who, in my opinion, really rude. I had the misfortune of seeing her today and it got me thinking: why are some people so tactless? I will give you an example: The subject came up of ...
A. 15 November 2010: I'm sorry, its very difficult having to work with such a negative person. I've been in that situation. I guess the best you can do is to have as little as contact with her as possible, and if you do have to talk to her, just make it very short and ... (read in full...)
Got quotes?
Q. got good quotes ? any kind . love , life , dark , light . you name it . I need some good ones for my class . lol . help me out . post one or more(: thanks ....
A. 13 November 2010: "People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within." Elizabeth Kubler Ross... (read in full...)
We're both married but does he love me?
Q. I am 40, in a friendship type of marriage, and am also in a love affair with a married man, 50. I have allowed myself to get into this affair with the assumption he is in the same situation as I am.; a friendship type of marriage. During the course ...
A. 13 November 2010: I don't think he's jealous because you are his little piece on the side, the dessert..and nothing more. Sounds like his wife and marriage still come first and more than likely always will. It sounds more like he loves his wife, but likes excitement. ... (read in full...)
Why do some people never think before they open their mouth?
Q. I work for a pretty big company and there's one woman there who, in my opinion, really rude. I had the misfortune of seeing her today and it got me thinking: why are some people so tactless? I will give you an example: The subject came up of ...
A. 12 November 2010: Its called "open mouth, insert foot". Many people really just don't think first, they just blurt out what they are thinking, later realizing that they made a mistake. Some people are just very direct, and blunt. They just state the obvious. And then ... (read in full...)
Average woman likes a penis 7.2 inches plus? Is this survey correct?
Q. i read something that says the average penis size is 6inc by 4.75inc around. I also read a survey that said the average woman likes a penis between 7.2 and 8inc by 6inc around. If the mean average for a man is as above and only 20% of men have ...
A. 12 November 2010: If that survey is right there must be a heck of alot of unhappy women walking around right now! No, I don't agree with the survey, and I don't think its accurate by any means. Again, "its not so much what ya got, but how ya use it!" Bigger is not ... (read in full...)
Did I just take her virginity?
Q. We are friends and unintentionaly,i just entered her once,only one shot and then out,and she saw a little blood and felt pain walking.is she virgine anymore?...
A. 12 November 2010: Penetration with blood...she's no longer a virgin. How do you "unintentionally enter" a girl?????... (read in full...)
In your own personal experiences, how long does it take you to get over someone?
Q. Just a question, for anyone to answer... on average, how long does it take you to get over somebody whom you've broken up with? Or who you've liked. I'm just asking because I feel as if it takes me so long to get over someone. My relationship with ...
A. 12 November 2010: You are quite correct in the fact that every person has their own time frame. My 1st serious relationship at 18 after dating a year, it took about a year to get over him completely, but I started dating within a month. My 1st marriage..about 3 years ... (read in full...)
From Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde.
Q. hello well i have a boyfriend and he was really nice when i first met him and we have been going out for almost 2 years now but now he likes to hurt me . like when we first had sex he was so gentle and careing for me but now h...
A. 12 November 2010: This is a no brainer. You walk away from the relationship. When a man doesn't respect you and hurts you, its time to leave. End of story. He's threatening you? BIG RED FLAG. Run, don't walk away from this relationship. End it NOW. He will continue ... (read in full...)
I do it all for him.
Q. On the inside I’m the crazy girl with tattoos piercings and emo hair, on the out said I’m plain Jane and I do it all for my boy friend because he says its gross when girls look like that. We been together for 4 years and when we met I still lived ...
A. 12 November 2010: If I can offer some advice, its be true to yourself. Be who you want to be, who makes you happy. Why are you pretending to be what you are not? You aren't happy..and you're not going to be happy. The longer this charade goes on, the more unhappy you ... (read in full...)
Why do some women wish they were taller?
Q. The question is easy: why do some women wish they were taller? This is the reason most women wear high heels for example. I'm just wondering why, is it to scare off predators or do they just think taller women are more attractive? Is i...
A. 10 November 2010: This one is a no brainer for me. I'm only 5"0 tall and I wear high heels just to feel a little bit taller and more able to look like an adult, rather than a child..lol.I certainly don't have to worry about being taller than a guy because he'd have ... (read in full...)
How do you stop having feelings for someone?
Q. I met a guy on holiday 4 years ago and we got on really well and spent the whole holiday together. Then when we came back to the uk he came up to see me and i went down to see him, but it just fizzled out and we lost contact. I actually really ...
A. 6 November 2010: If someone had the answer and cure to your question, they'd probably be the richest person in the world! Its never easy to forget someone that you love, but seriously the best things to do are to remove all traces of that person if possible..put ... (read in full...)
Am I doing the right thing?
Q. Im a chinese divorced woman met this Englishman 18 years older than me. I love him and try my best to learn English. We've been together for 2 years but we dont live together. My english improves a lot but there is still misunderstanding ...
A. 4 November 2010: Your boyfriend is arrogant and rude, and his behavior towards you is demeaning. Please do not continue to allow him to make you feel badly. Yes, you are doing the right thing by distancing himself.
I dated a Japanese man for 9 years, English ... (read in full...)
Struggling to cope with the distance.....
Q. i cannt cope with distance releationship and now im making the wrong decisions. cant stop thinking that he is cheating on me too....
A. 4 November 2010: Long distance relationships are extremely difficult. You either trust him, or you don't. If you don't trust each other, the relationship will never last.... (read in full...)
We don't speak the same language!
Q. I'm in love with a chinese girl and I believe she loves me also. She doesn't speak English. I don't speak chinese. We can only communicate through email, mobile and friends (interpreters). What should I do?...
A. 4 November 2010: I'd say you've got a problem. Either you need to take a crash course in Chinese, or she'd better take a course in English. I dated a Japanese man for 9 years, and he spoke English well after having a private tutor, but there will still alot of ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has been a major ass to me recently and I want to break up with him, but I'm scared I might be pregnant!
Q. Hey!So I'm a 14 year old girl that just recently lost her virginity. Since then I have had sex with my boyfriend quite a few times. But now I'm starting to become scared. All the times we have had sex we have never used a condom. I've researched a ...
A. 4 November 2010: Obviously you didn't do enough research on teen pregnancy is you had sex without a condom! You would have known that there is a very high risk of pregnancy with unprotected sex. Regardless of how mature you think you are, you're still a child. And ... (read in full...)
I LOVE bigger women!
Q. I'm 19 year old male. I have this thing for bigger woman, I always have, ever since i was in high-school I've had this thing for them but I've never expressed it openly. So I've done it in secret by going to websites and talking to bigger w...
A. 2 November 2010: Everyone has their own tastes about what they find attractive, and what they don't. I don't really see what your concern is. Is it that you are afraid of being laughed at if you date a bigger girl? I mean, you really can't force yourself to be ... (read in full...)
We had sex and now he threatens to tell my husband if I don't do what he wants!!! Help!
Q. Long story short, I met a guy and we ended up having sex. I'm married. Now he threatens to tell my husband if I don't do what he wants, when he wants. How do I get out of this? Please help me....
A. 2 November 2010: I don't really see any way out of this. But don't you think your husband would prefer to hear the truth from you rather than the man who is a threat to him? Secrets don't stay secrets very long, best to confess up before it blows up in your face.... (read in full...)
Trying to figure out what it is...
Q. I need to know something. Is it normal to have a slight pain when you are, well needless to say, turned on. I'm asking cause I have been getting this slight pain inside when my fiance and I get ready to make love. It started a couple months after I ...
A. 2 November 2010: I've had 2 children, and I've never experienced anything like this. Rather than wonder about it and ask total strangers, don't you think its time to see an OB/GYN and let him examine you? That way you will know, and won't have to worry about it. ... (read in full...)
I hate that every time his ex calls he runs back to her! I know she is the mother of his child, but I don't want to be number 3 in his life.....
Q. Hi everyone , Its ben like this let me get straight to the point. Im now dating my boyfriend for some months since july but i known him for 5-6 years already, and out of nowhere we been hanging out the whole World Cup south africa 2010 ''time'', c...
A. 2 November 2010: It doesn't sound like you are number 3, but it sounds like he does put his child first. That's a very good trait for a man to have, I'm sure you don't resent him for that. Its admirable. As far as his ex goes, its all part of the broken family ... (read in full...)
This is driving me nuts... I'm heartbroken he cheated and we've not even met yet!
Q. whats happening???? I met a guy on the net 2 years ago and we have become very close, get on wicked its unreal and we have a great connection... he says he loves me and wants to marry me... we havent even met each other yet!!! he occasionally spi...
A. 31 October 2010: This is the bad part about online romances....unless you really meet the person and get to know the person,they can tell you almost anything. And a "boyfriend" really isn't a "boyfriend" when you haven't even met the person. I'm sorry, I know this ... (read in full...)
Does this sound like a STD?
Q. Very personal question- I'm sexually active and I'm afraid I may have an STD. I have these tiny bumps on the inside of my vagina but only towards the bottom. They itch like crazy and hurt sometimes, especially if I scratch them. I get temporary ...
A. 31 October 2010: I'm sorry but this really isn't the type of question that can be answered on the internet with great certainty. Get yourself in to a doctor ASAP. It isn't wise to go by advise from total strangers with something that could be serious like this.... (read in full...)
I can't even get a one night stand!
Q. Why is it so hard to get into a relationship? I can't even get a date only a one night stand. The men that want me are too feminine, if i wanted a sensitive partner id turn to women. All the stuck up preps get the guy while the socially awkward girl ...
A. 31 October 2010: Without seeing you or knowing you, there is no way that any of us can really evaluate this situation. Are you setting your goals too high perhaps? Do you find something wrong with every guy? How do you carry yourself? Are you giving off any vibes ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is flirting with his ex girlfriend... what do I do here?
Q. hi this is my first time using this and it's probably because I want to hear other people's opinion on this and might help me. okay so here it goes. I've caught him (boyfriend) before during valentines day, he gave his ex girlfriend the same cake ...
A. 30 October 2010: I don't want this to come across as mean or uncaring, but it sounds as though he'd drop you in a minute if his ex would take him back. Obviously she's still very much in his thoughts, and its sad to say that it would appear he's using as a "backup" ... (read in full...)
Do all women scream at their husband when they are in labor?
Q. I need some good advice from the women out there who are mothers. My wife and I are pregnant. In all the movies you see, when the woman is in labor she is yelling at the father, scratching him, telling him it's all his fault, etc, etc. I am just...
A. 30 October 2010: Of course every woman is different, so you can't generalize but I don't believe most woman do that. My doctor/nurses told me I was one of the best patients that they had EVER had, both times I had children. I was in so much pain that all I wanted to ... (read in full...)
My husband is rubbing his affairs in my face!
Q. I have been reading your colume for awhile and i felt it was time to reach out to someone. iv been married for 24 years my husband 2 years ago took out a young girl out for valintines night.for the past 2 years their has been 2 different women call ...
A. 29 October 2010: He is rubbing your face in it because you ALLOW him to. What are you? A doormat? Show him the door and say "See you in court, and thanks for everything, because I'm taking half". Nothing else to say. There are still nice men out there, and after the ... (read in full...)
Devastated after my mother's death. Help me..
Q. My muother has just passed away and i feel i cant cope any more i just dont know what to do my life has been ripped apart i was so so close to her i dont know what to do any advise please!...
A. 29 October 2010: Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss. Expected or unexpected, the loss of a loved on can be crippling. Surround yourself with family and friends, and know that what you are feeling is completely normal. Time will eventually ease the pain, but sadly, it ... (read in full...)
Pregnant and no one knows but me
Q. Okay so I'm pregnant and the guy doesn't know It and neither do my parents. Help me please?!!...
A. 29 October 2010: Thats good that you told your boyfriend, but if he's only 16, you are going to need alot more help than he can possibly give. I got pregnant and got married and we were both 19, and we could barely handle things. PLEASE tell an ADULT ASAP. This ... (read in full...)
Pregnant and no one knows but me
Q. Okay so I'm pregnant and the guy doesn't know It and neither do my parents. Help me please?!!...
A. 29 October 2010: Well sweetie, this isn't something that is going to stay a secret for very long. I know you must be very confused and frightened, but you need to tell an adult, someone that you trust, someone that can help you. You aren't old enough to make these ... (read in full...)
My hair stylist hurt my feelings. Should I go back to her?
Q. i'm quite upset. i went to the hairdressers today, and i didnt like some comments that my hairdresser made. she said my colour had faded( i had my hair dyed blonde, but the person who dyed it didnt put much blonde in ) and i didnt even think it ...
A. 28 October 2010: I have pretty long hair, and don't go to the hairdresser very often. It honestly takes alot for me to go, I have to be in just the right mood. I really don't look as going to the hairdresser as a fun experience, just becasue I've had so many mishaps ... (read in full...)
I'm 18 and dating a 42 year old married man!
Q. I've kind of dug myself a grave here. I'm dating a man who's 42, and I'm only 18. But there one huge problem that I used to let slide but now it's starting to get to me. He's married. I used to just brush it off, but every time I see his and her car ...
A. 28 October 2010: Look through the posts here, you'll see many situations similar to yours, a woman waiting for a married man to leave his wife. Don't waste your youth on a married man! The odds are he will never leave you, no matter WHAT he says. You are a young ... (read in full...)
How can I ever be her special guy when she was a prostitute who slept with 300-400 men?
Q. Hi All - this is a follow up question from one of my previous ones - How do I cope with my girlfirends past - those that read my last message will remember that she used to be a bargirl in both the Philippines and Singapore and has admitted to ...
A. 28 October 2010: I agree totally with Aunty Bim Bim. Come on, you're old enough to realize that sometimes people have to do things to survive. Some of us get into really bad situations and we do what we have to do. It isn't nice, it isn't pretty. Perhaps she truly ... (read in full...)
I want my married lover to take off his wedding ring when he's out with me
Q. ok yall i have been dating this man for a least a years and some months! however our relationship is getting deeper and deeper everyday! when the two some us started dating we both agree to no feeling no attachment ! now that time change words have ...
A. 28 October 2010: I had a friend like you...she knowingly got involved with a married man. He kept promising her that he would leave his wife and kids for her. The whole town knew about their affair. The wife had to know too, but put up with it. 10 years later, and ... (read in full...)
Moving On From One Night Of Horror In A Happy Marriage Of 10 yrs??
Q. I've been married now for almost 10 years. My husband and I have what most people consider a great relationship. We don't argue or stupid things and when we do, the fights don't involve name calling, profanity, or low blows...and we make up ...
A. 28 October 2010: I walked away from a 16 year marriage because my husband became an alcoholic. I have been where you are, and its hell. My loving sweet kind husband became a raging, abusive idiot when drunk and after 5 years of making threats to leave, I finally ... (read in full...)
In the heat of the argument I told him he has a tiny penis! I know I have screwed up, so how do I fix this?
Q. Ok so ive been seeing this guy for a while now almost a year. He told me before that he always thought he had a small penis (he had been drinking, in fact i dont know if he remembers telling me that) but hes not small hes like 6.5 in. Ive been told ...
A. 27 October 2010: No matter what, he'll NEVER forget this. He might forgive, but he'll always remember what you said. FOREVER. Men are super sensitive about their size, no matter how macho they may act. No guy wants to be told he's tiny. Yeah, you really screwed up. ... (read in full...)
Pregnancy tests have come back negative, but could I still be pregnant?
Q. My periods are 4 days late. I took 2 pregnancy tests and they both came out negative. I've never missed periods before and they are always on time. I had sex 2 days after my last periods. Could i be pregnant?...
A. 27 October 2010: There's no way that any of us could know. Go see a medical professional. You probably haven't waited long enough trying to take a home pregnancy test. Stress, illness can play a factor with making a period late. The more you stress about this, the ... (read in full...)
Why cant he even show our children some fatherly love?
Q. Hi,i once was married to a guy whom i got two kids with. My in laws recognized me as his wife but he delayed too much in officiating the matter. I later moved out of the relationship with my kids. He never bothered about our whereabouts until six ...
A. 27 October 2010: Sadly, some men do not take an interest in their chidren. My ex husband went 12 years without even trying to get in touch with our daughter. Around her 16th birthday he finally made contact. You can't force someone to take an interest or care.He ... (read in full...)
Do men really get afraid?
Q. My boss and I have been fooling around for about 6 months, no sex, no kissing, just fondling. We haven't gone further as he is very afraid of my husband finding out and hurting him. We are both married with children. Yet we continue to fool around. ...
A. 27 October 2010: Of course they do. And did you ever consider that perhaps he's afraid of your husband finding out and beating the living daylights out of him or worse? Its something to think about, isn't it? You need to figure out what you want, and take action. ... (read in full...)
My husband said I deserved to get cancer ...
Q. I recently had a breast cancer scare and thankfully have just found out that whilst I'm Ill it's not cancer... Phew!! But my husband was really werid and uncaring through the whole thing and the final thing was when the results came back he said " w...
A. 23 October 2010: Oh my gosh, what an absolutely horrid thing to say to your wife! It just floors me that your husband said such a thing to you. How hurt you must be! NO ONE deserves cancer. I mean, it isn't even something I would say to my worst enemy. What on earth ... (read in full...)
I know of somebody who is being unfaithful
Q. i know of someone who has been unfaithful to their parner.they live together and have a kid. i dont want to be stuck in the middle of all this but i also dont want to snitch because its i dont want to be involved in all this. so the unfaithf...
A. 23 October 2010: Coming from my own personal experience, I know its difficult and weighing on your conscious, but stay out of it. The person being cheated on may know..and be looking the other way. I made the mistake one time when I was very young of telling a ... (read in full...)
Is it really right to strike someone in this situation?
Q. I was surprised and a bit shocked by some of the responses to A recent post about a guy wanting to know if women found it attractive when a guys junk happens to show. Several of the women say that they would slap the guy in the face if his junk ...
A. 21 October 2010: Uh..aren't you the same poster who asked about the "flashing"??? I wasn't one of those who said they'd slap the guy..but I'd sure call him a creep, a jerk, and go looking for a policeman..Trust me..most women DO NOT want to be out in public and see ... (read in full...)
Do women like to catch a glimpse of a man's penis or balls?
Q. Do women like it when men wear shortish kind of shorts and maybe you catch a glimpse of what he is packing here or there (san undies, of course). I love it when I happen to catch a glimpse up a woman's skirt, or into her shorts, or down her top to ...
A. 21 October 2010: No, not in the least. It seems like the man is screaming for attention, and quite frankly, its just plain yuk. If I seen something like this out in public, my first reaction would be "God, what a pervert". Women as a whole aren't turned on by the ... (read in full...)
| *ystiquek's friends
These are mutual friends, so *ystiquek has
added them and they have added *ystiquek!
|
